its lovely to have you around and dance in your light or sink in your darkness but the stars hide in the morning and they take the moon with them so I cannot be seen in your day only wishing from a far.

do you understand or will you cut the roses thinking of death only to find they just needed some water?

I miss you.

your words still stain my memory
I hope it forever does.
all I have of you are in my memories
even if that may be the only place they can rest
I still have you,
even when they all said to let go
I'll always love you.
forever and ever. 01-23-21

I feel as if i'm walking in someone else's body
watching as life plays threw my eyes like a movie

I feel as if i'm taking in someone else's breaths
not being able to control the thoughts that dance in my mind

I feel as if im in someone else's body
not being able to control anything around me
watching as this life unfolds
feeling these feeling that dont feel like my own

being patient and waiting
for the day this body will be me
and this life will be mine

I'm not alone.

I have my thoughts to keep me occupied.
In my mind i'm still in your arms,
I can hear your words as you speak to me.

I'm not alone.

Although it may feel like that all the time.
I still have you in my mind.
Even though the hole hasn't filled sense your gone.

I'm not alone.

I was the one who wanted this.
It was my choice from the begging.
So why?
Why do I feel so lost inside?
Why does it hurt to think of my decision?
I regret my choices,
I shoulda listened.

I shoulda listened
When the voices of my heart whispered to me
The saddest tunes.
And when my mind broke into several pieces,
I shoulda listened.

I'm not alone.
Even tho I have no one beside me anymore.
I'm not alone.
I just have that lonely feeling.
I'm not alone.
I have my thoughts to keep me company.

And when my tears wake me from my daydream,
You're nowhere to be found.
It was my decision.
I regret that decision.
Because without you,

I'm alone.

is what saves me from


                                        


                me.