I may be young
But I believe 16 years of experience is worth 16 stepping stones
To reach the expectations of society
And spit in the face of it

We are prey to the predators
Involved in a war of existence
Where we bleed tears
And cry blood
Functioning wrong
Because we are told we are never right

Validation we rarely receive is sweet they say

The predators

But how do we know when they

The predators

Sliced our tongues to hide our screams

Trouble is lurking from the parents that gift the children with what they want
In contrast to what the children need

My pen doubles as a society cleanser
Writing all the wrongs in all colored inks
Inspired by the beautiful equal people
And I take that sliced, beaten down wood
So I can shove it down their ******* throats

And I find peace under their tears
I craft it into a blanket
Yes, its cold
However, my body is warm from the scars of bullet shells, death stares, and unwanted opinions

A shameful balance

My pen etches Your name deeper within my heart. With each stroke the pages yell Your name into an oblivion.
But You.
You would never hear the cries that were crying out Your name. I show You my world and You can’t tell me Your favorite parts.
You witness the beat of my heart, but can’t rap the words to my song. I doubt that You care, and You just stare. I preach to the world, but You never saw me reach for Your hand. I shed a tear for Your sorrows, but You never cared about who You hurt.
I write this for You, and You could never see me mouth Your name.
But still, Your name resides on my heart. The black ink stained on the red surface, that has only seen pain, and shall hope the best for Your heart.
What I’ve been trying to say is, I loved You. You used to inspire love. But now I only hope You find it.
This was for,
You.

Please stop saying you’re the best father in the world,
because you’re not.

You’ll be another girl’s first father daughter dance.
I love knowing someone else could be your daughter.
But hey,
it’s okay because I can just watch from the sidelines.
It’s fine,
I’ll cry from the pain of not understanding on,
what I did wrong to lose you?
To find out that it wasn’t my fault,
yet you choose someone else’s daughter before your own.

That’s okay. I’m not mad.
I’m confused on what to do next,
like do you think I will invite you to big events in my life?
Do you think I will tell my partner to ask for your blessing?
Do you think you will walk me down the aisle?
To answer all those questions with one word.
No.
No, you won’t be there,
you don’t get to come and go when YOU please.
That’s not how this works anymore.

It’s my turn to say the truth,
you’re not around in any way.
Communicating takes two,
I shouldn’t be the one to start everything;
I shouldn’t be able to remember all the bad moments under your roof.
I shouldn’t feel like were a horrible father to me,
but guess what?
I do.

Can you be able to explain why I cry when I think of you?
No? Because neither can I?
I make friends with people that act more fatherly than you,
why do I have to find replacement fathers?
I shouldn’t have to.
Whenever someone talks about their father,
I just want to scream because I have nothing good to say about you.
I’m sorry, I know it hurts but look at my side of this.
I’ve been fighting with the idea that I can have you in my life.
During this time, my answer became as clear as water.

Say goodbye to your daughter,
because she isn’t coming back.
Bye Father.