Never better


You were crazy, just like me baby.
You were my lady and you set me free permanently.
You were crying, just like I was.
I was dying, just for love.
All we had we too soon lost,
But what we had defined everything about us.


You were in pain, so you kept on hurting me.
You walked away and destroyed my life of peace.
You were amazing, until you ended everything.
I never replaced you with a better being.


(C)2020 Aa Harvey. All Rights Reserved.

The same four walls, I see them everyday
There's a door to the outside
But if I leave I become the prey

Is it my fault the yelling begins?
Is it my fault I don't look that "great?"
I'd leave and swim but the sharks have fins

If I don't leave my room why do they see it as a phase?
If I don't have their name in my story why am I looked at with disdain?
I keep looking at the walls but start to feel insane

I want to leave, I want to run
I feel my mind tremble and I feel outdone
I just want to get lost because that's what's fun

I am the pendulum that swings
left.                                                           ­                                 
                                                                ­                                          right.   left.                                                
           ­                         right.
left.              
         right.
I find myself in equilibrium, now, nothing is afflicting me.
the slightest nudge-- a gentle push
and
now I'm swinging violently.
left.                                                           ­                                 
                                                                ­                                          right.   left.                                                
           ­                         right.
left.              
         right.
  Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
Why can't I think?
I'm left.                                                            ­                                
                                                                ­                                     I'm right.  
I'm left.                                                
           ­                            I'm right.
I'm left.              
            I'm right.
I can't breathe.
I've lost my sight--
blinded by the salted tears I breathe, and choking on my tongue,
I can't think.
I can't speak.
Why are you screaming at me?
I am the pendulum that swings
left.                                                           ­                                 
                                                                ­                                          right.   left.                                                
           ­                         right.
left.              
         right.
Breathe. Stop Crying. It's fine. I'm fine.
I'm alright,
I'll just brace myself for another ******* night of swinging
left.                                                   ­                                         
                                                                ­                                          right.   left.                                                
           ­                         right.
left.              
         right.

I want to be a nice guy and a bad boy too
I want to have my way with you
yet be your servant too
I want to sweep you off your feet, I want to ravish you
I want to be your daddy dom and your prince charming too
I really want to be romantically naughty with you
I want to make you smile and blush, give ******* to you
I want to make sweet love to you and to ******* too
I want to be your bad boy and your nice guy too

Chaos free for barely a day
when a wide eyed sadistic smile
finally came out to play.

Her touch lingers
just a little too long
I'm another sorry soul
caught by her siren song.

She holds me in her hands
with her soft skin
and sweet smell
that makes me weak.

So I played her game
but she don't play fair
so she left me alone
cold and without a care.

She's been a wild child
since sixteen;
now she lives for fast cars
and *** under the stars.

Broke so many hearts
because somebody
broke hers first.
That's why
Hearts that break others,
Really are the worst.

She's not for me
or anyone else
since she won't settle down
She can live alone
in her red painted town.

crawling creatures find their way
between lost memories and the light of day
creeping little creatures with a million legs
squeezing under sanity and over old kegs
full of things packed away to forget
things in the dark that pulls the seams and lets
in scorching light that burns my skin
and the cracks where the light can't get in
lie in wait my creatures of lunacy
the monsters that eat away bloodily
at my inner rationality
let me be, the pills will get them out of me
no, don't touch me, it hurts
i'm fine, they say, they're fine let it burn
i don't know if anyone can here me