a sink with broken eggshells at the bottom
skin turning flush red from the inside goo
always making you itch
because everything is so nervous
if it wasn't there would be no purpose
no jackknifing or tossing
no thrashing or abrasive arm wrestling
to feel a stillness inside your stomach
like an eye of a storm
patiently smug
because  the turbulence is never
in
only around

the debris will never hit your cornea
no splintered pupil
always wanna be tender
but I think brave is best

That day quarantine started
We were supposed to meet

Instead it’s been a month
Since we’ve seen each other again

The question is...
Do you care?

I’ve been searching for my life’s purpose for a couple of years and let me tell you this.
The only thing that I’ve discovered is that:
“There are no lights, music and fireworks for us, buddy, in the land of self-development”

No lofty aspirations to be realized.
Nor shiny kick *** careers to be given attention to.
NO SUCH LUCK.

The only thing that exists is kind of pessimistic albeit genuine.
As far as I know, it is your only chance of doing anything.
“Only the principle of minimum effort rules the underworld that’s lodged deep within our heads”
(The voice said)

Again the voice spoke. (This time with a much more demanding tone)
“Do the least you can do and do it well”
“For there is no place for underachievers like you here in OUR domain”

goodbyes—
there were always goodbyes
and silence
more silence
but always more goodbyes

goodbyes—
ended without an hello
just started
we began again
but always more goodbyes

goodbyes—
ended in our reunions
maybe virtually
perhaps personally
but always more goodbyes

goodbyes—
this time it's goodbye
that just could—
that just might—
that just may—
stick.

For the first time,
I'm not sure what to say.
I can't tell you it will be okay
Because I don't fully believe it myself yet.
I can't tell you not to worry
Because we come from different worlds.
But they say it's times like these
You find out who your friends are.
So let me be clear.
For what it's worth,
You've got a friend in me.

It’s 9:00 exactly
I’m laying in bed
This haiku didn’t help much

dear heart of mine;
What you desire is something I cannot give,
since her words, her gaze
must never be mine.

To want for nights in her arms
softly composing verse
is futile.
And to wish for her lips
to seek out yours in the dark
is foolish,
beyond hope,
beyond reason.

She cannot be yours.
-will not.
Must not.

Because on a feeble ledge you wait:
her as your counter.
A single step
and surely you will let her fall.
Speak of your affection only to tear apart
the careful stitching of time and fate
that brought you here in the first place.

Be careful foolish heart
not to undo such bonds
for you are not as heroic as you presume.
You would perish
if you were to walk alone again.

I hope you enjoy
Life without me
Because I am done writing
All these love notes
I am done with all these ****** poems
I am done with your no answers
And your "misunderstandings"
And your cute quirks
Like never apologizing
And overdramatizing
And victim blaming
Self deprecating
Body shaming
Overt manipulation
I am done with looking at you
Across the room
Hoping you'll look back
I know you won't and
I don't want you to
I hope you like
Your own medicine
Because I've cut you out of my life
Now you don't mean anything