illusions of
escape velocity
for us became
placebos like
a gentle darkness
gumshoes into
disarray.

© Ben Ditmars 2014

No vices, no difference
I have some things to do tomorrow,
I think I’ll just take the wagon
I’m just waiting for something to happen
to help me make up my mind
I always imagine tragic
someone dies and they’re so close
I don’t believe in fairy tales or souls,
but I don’t even want to write their names
for fear I’ll have a hand in why they lost life’s duel
or maybe we’re all just an election away from
anarchic warring states,
where I must defend my beans and cucumbers
from slugs and marauders
If we hold it together, red China could invade
so would I rather be a prisoner or dead?
Perhaps, I’ll just meet some girl,
where I’ll feel “some” as a description does her deep injustice,
because the love will be enormous
Now, I’m courting a chickadee that’s never dull,
but her name doesn’t quite roll off the tongue
Her name is Adventure and she rolls like hills and mountains,
and speed popping truckers with their eyes and ecstatic smiles
If I’m still seeing her, I might be a gat slinging ******* out west
bumming around San Jose or Cambodiay
Hearing all that talk, I think I just want to leave,
and I guess the pay is better anyway
My mind is made up
it’s not something real
It is, was, and is still fluffed up with schooling and the words of persuasive people
their confidence in what their saying is like a lightning bolt ******* into my stem
they jammed us into waiting rooms for something called progress
they even separate the sick people
I closed my eyes to see what was real,
and saw nothing
There is no waiting room at all

The cruelty of few have made me who I am
A monster amongst you
A goat amongst lamb
You may blame me; to that I say fine
But every great creature needs his Doctor Frankenstein

I walk into this containment cell of lost souls
Groping around hoping to succeed towards their parent'a goals
We are all just playing another role
A building block under their control
But when you're the block that causes Jenga, heads start to roll
They'll throw you into a hole
Where you'll live your life like a mole
An animal in a cage, a box, a cell, that's the tole
Their real goal
To lock you up and maintain control

Beneath the dense amber downpour of remedy, I rest.
Atop the immense scarlet sea of anarchy, I stand.
And in the midst of etiquette drawing its final breath, I weep.

Here we go again
Back and forth about the flaws I need to mend
Just because I tend to enjoy the thought of my end
And that I'm always dressed in black when I'm out with my friends
You sit there and wonder what could've happened
to that boy oh so happy
Now a lover of anarchy and a hater of society
How grandmother do you see such beauty in conformity?
Have you taken into consideration this reality?
The idea of order and balance is rapidly
Turning into a travesty
Because of mankind's brutality
and false sense of morality
There's vanity and inhumanity
Against ones own sexuality
And people have the audacity
to critically antagonize those for their God given nationality
While this wonderful country
Goes further intro bankruptcy
So continue to live your keen little fantasy
That we are all living happily and equally
Your views have such opacity
That I can see right through your irrationality
And your thinning mentality
So please continue to criticize me
Please provide some amnesty
Don't listen to me I'm just crazy
Remember? You can't trust me because everything I say is blasphemy
So excuse my insanity
And allow me to gulp down these pills so carefully
Not to take more than I should be
And I'll just vegetate amongst people like a cavity
An outcast to your perfect **society

It has started to seem
Like from a strange dream.
That we are undead
but it seems that by death we are lead.
It guides us like a father
comforts like a mother
Teases us like a sister
Protects us like a brother
We undead, who love destruction,
Are left on earth with one instruction.
Burn the earth
and show some mirth
Toward the abandoned breed.
And death will give us all we need.

It's a new generation
Let's make our own nation
Populated by the undead
By our deadly parent we are fed

Welcome to a world full of individuality
But don't let that fool you *** it's full of hypocrisy
So hold on dearly to your sanity
Or else you'll end up a reject thrown out just like me
Because people are only as good as society let's them be
And soon you'll see
The true beauty
In Anarchy
Because sometimes you gotta bleed in order to see clearly
Behind the masks of those who appear so cheerfully
There are scars so deep with souls so sickly
Minds corrupted by mental disease and PTSD
We don't get comfort no we don't get empathy
We can't be dragging people down because we're not their responsibility
So we continue to sing our songs on this sinking ship lost out at sea
Because we couldn't be what they wanted us to be

It's raining, it's storming
The tools are conforming
Society will be the death of me
Please pills, don't let me wake in the morning
It's sleeting, it's snowing
Their plastic smiles are glowing
Put your make up on, dignity gone
Make sure your "made in China" tag isn't showing
Its windy, the sun is shining!
Their ignorance is blinding!
No hope for mankind, I've lost my mind
There is no silver lining