Submit your work, meet writers and drop the ads. Become a member
18.4k · Oct 2014
Eyes
Swetank Modi Oct 2014
My eyes are too big
I am one with the desserts
Now I must digest
4.9k · Oct 2014
Why Did You Leave Me Today?
Swetank Modi Oct 2014
At twenty one thirty ,
and far away,
she made up her mind
and couldn't stay.

Her pain was too much,
for her to bear.
I tried to reach out,
but she didn't care.

At just seventeen,
she had been through hell,
Could not escape
her molested cell.

Nowhere to go,
seeing darkness around,
No escape for this girl,
only hell bound.

I begged her to stay,
she said go away,
Why do you care?
I bowed down to pray.

She grab the blade,
going deeper every time,
Slashed her wrist,
I cried and I cried.

A thousand miles away,
I am now in somber.
Why did you leave me?
I will always remember.
4.7k · Sep 2015
Ode to DotA 2
Swetank Modi Sep 2015
It started with a clever picking
Then the horn of cenarius sounding
Followed by an agile creep-blocking
The start of the beginning

Sk, Lina, Leoric lanes the bottom
A superior lane control no one could ever question
Burrow, Bolt, and array has been thrown
That poor enemy's troll got pawned

And now let's go into the middle lane
Whe're SF and Davion came
In this battle they would have to claim
The elusive exp and gold they can possible gain

The top lane's meepo was quite steady
For his enemies are getting heavy
Fissure and Nova are his enemy
The fearsome combo of deadly harmony

As the ferocious battle goes by
In ganks and clashes, skills fly
Some juke, some escape, and some die
The other team thrashtalks "nice try"

Oh dear meepo tries to solo Roshan
The other heroes try to *******
In the woods they find the one
That lone troll farming in wonderland

Sandking immediately winks
Followed by a nimble blink
Burrowstrike makes the troll sink
GG troll as many would think

The the team tries to push
TP-save the opponent used
But meepo breaks the unwanted truce
And tries to squeeze away the juice

They have to **** raigor
Who, in echo slam, has had a great score
But you seeit was only five versus four
Thus it leads the enemy in sore

Alas! the balance has been broken
It's a gg that's nearly spoken
The defenders has fallen
Rax, towers, and the tree are all broken

If only they've warded more
They would've prevented the gank on troll
The other team had a greater score
And they could have a chance to backdoor

Perhaps it was a close call
For a team you wouldn't easily small
Life indeed is like a ball
Just pawned because of the lone troll

Don't worry DotA 2, I'll sacrifice my sleep for playing everyday!
4.2k · Jun 2014
Upon an honest man's grave
Swetank Modi Jun 2014
Upon an honest mans grave they danced and joked

Upon an honest mans grave they sighed and smoked

Upon an honest mans grave they drank their wine

Upon an honest mans grave they did their line

Upon an honest mans grave they told some lies

Upon an honest mans grave they howled and cried

Upon an honest mans grave their life became so bleak

Upon an honest mans grace they were too dead to speak
3.1k · Oct 2014
Waste
Swetank Modi Oct 2014
Baby on the floor
Likes to play with potato
Potato is cooked
2.8k · Oct 2014
Hate You
Swetank Modi Oct 2014
I hate you haiku
You are very tough to do
Go back to Japan
Swetank Modi Jul 2014
Where does the spark and infatuation from the beginning go?

It’s crazy how quickly you can go from being excited to talk to a person to feeling like you’re forcing the conversation. The quality time you spend with each other turns into “I was busy” and the consistent communication becomes “I don’t know”.  When does “I hate to see you leave” turn into “It hurts too much to stay?”

Could it be because we’re all guilty of taking things for granted? Maybe we think love is something which will appear whenever it is convenient, or maybe we don’t realize how important it is to keep a good thing going. Maybe we think happiness is something that just finds us, instead of being something we must work for. And maybe that’s why we end up doing or saying something we shouldn’t have, and regret our actions later. It’s amazing how fast things change…

You go from laughing about anything to arguing about everything. You go through the motions, wondering if they’re real, if they really do care, or if they’re going to run when it turns rough. It’s so scary. You want to give more of yourself to somebody but it’s hard so these days because you just never know if you’ll get anything back. Don’t we all deserve a bit of love? Love is not something just to be taken, it’s to be given as well. You think you have it all sorted. That they will come around sooner or later. That they will realize what they are doing will only wreck the relationship beyond repair.

You do little things, you stay consistent, but somehow it just doesn’t add up. Maybe the problem is that we except the love to be magical before we become magicians. Or could it be that we’re all just better breakers than builders? We’d rather have feelings we can throw away and ‘love’ that’s disposable.

We grew up reading tales like Cinderella, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty etc, which lead us to believe that the path of love is a bed of roses, without the thorns. Or blame it on the overdose of the too-good-to-be-true love stories we encounter in films and read in novels. Happily ever after is a myth. And Happily Married is the biggest oxymoron ever.

Reality is rough. You only want what’s easy and that’s why what you get never lasts. Everybody wants to be fought for but nobody is willing to fight. Is this fair? She loves butterflies but she avoids beginnings because she hates to start over. He’s tired but he’s so used to the chase that he’s scared to stop running.

Makes you wonder… Is love really hard, or are people just difficult?
Swetank Modi Sep 2014
I lost it when the storm blew,

Wi-Fi, laptop, iPad too.

On my kindle, no bars found,

Oh lord, the internet is down.



My Facebook friends no longer poke,

I cannot tweet a single joke.

My iTunes offer not a sound,

Now the internet is down.



I finally fix that broken chair,

Clean my room, wash my hair.

Then I wander all around,

Now the Internet is down.



The library’s packed. And the theater too,

I need my fix. Can I sit here too?

Is Wi-Fi in another town?

Now the internet is down.



I’ll search the house and find a nook,

To finally read that Dan Brown book.

My thoughts are clear, my soul unbound,

Now the internet is down.



I’ll study French. Take up guitar,

I’ll search for wisdom, near and far.

To internet’s death, I raise my cup,

Wait. Never mind. It came back up.
:)
2.5k · Aug 2015
Emotion
Swetank Modi Aug 2015
The scariest thing
About letting yourself go
Is letting people know
You're emotional.

And when you cry every night
And wish you would die,
Where are they
Telling you
To hold on,
Stay strong?
No where.
They are no where to be found.
No, they don't make a sound.

So when they come around
In your glory days,
They don't even
Recognize your face.
It's a shame to say
They just want your fame.

But they don't even know
You're emotional.
'Cause you keep it in,
So they don't win.

But when
That one person
Comes along
And sings you
A song,
Let them in
Don't let them
Move on.
1.4k · Dec 2015
New Year
Swetank Modi Dec 2015
We’ve survived another 365 days of endless mayhem & crazy moments,
as we end this year with a bang, we take a look down memory lane.

We remember all the moments that changed us, bettered us, hurt us.
& regardless, we are grateful; for those have made us stronger as a whole.

Although we have a long journey to go, we continue to grow as souls.

It’s been quite a year, some moments better than others,
perhaps a balance; of all things, strange & un-expected.

Personally, it’s been one hell of a realization for me, myself & I.
I’m grateful for everything though, it helped me discover a lot
and it makes me more eager to explore what’s next to come.

And to whoever has struggled this year: we’ve made it!
I’m so proud of anyone who has struggled & yet still fought on
it’s not easy to deal with our problems, it’s endless at times
but getting through it despite it all is an accomplishment.

With each year, we learn more about ourselves as a whole,
we discover parts of us we never knew existed
as well as finding strength we never knew we had.

This year has been full of risks, anxious moments,
self-loathing, overthinking, but we still made it through.

I have a good feeling about 2016 though, it’s kind of nice.

Happy New Year’s Eve, everyone!

I hope it’s a good one for you and even if it isn’t
then just know that you’re worth so much.
1.3k · Sep 2015
Hush Little Sister!
Swetank Modi Sep 2015
Hush, little sister
Please don't cry
I wish I could be there
To sing you a lullaby

I can see your arms
Bloodied and bruised
That's strange, little sister
Mine were like that too

I know you scream
When Daddy's there
Hush, little sister
I know you're scared

I can see the way
He's hurting you
I'm sorry, little sister
He did that to me too

I know that people
Ignore what's going on at home
That makes me angry, little sister
You shouldn't have to be alone

Hey, little sister
You want to know why I'm not there?
It's a sad story, little sister
But people should care

You see, little sister
One day Daddy got high
You were asleep in your crib
So you didn't hear my cry

He screamed at me
And smashed my head against the door
While you slept, little sister
I died on the floor

You know, little sister
I don't think that I would have died
If someone had only bothered
To listen to my cries

But hush, little sister
Daddy's coming home
Quick, get into bed
You don't want him to find you alone

I'm sorry little sister
He's in a bad mood
Run while you can

Uh oh little sister
He's lifting his belt
Scream while you can, little sister
Call for help

Hush little sister
You don't need to cry
No one can hurt you
You're in my arms tonight.
1.1k · Jul 2014
Where do we belong
Swetank Modi Jul 2014
We've all heard about the site 'Ask.fm' where people anonymously ask each other questions, be it about their personal life or just for fun. I recently joined this site just to see what kind of questions people ask and how people react to such questions. But one answer really infuriated me.
A person was asked to describe his country (India) in 3 words. He replied saying 'Cricket. ****. Corruption'. Now I understand the frustration a normal Indian faces everyday regarding the growing cases of **** and corruption. But why insult your own country on a public forum knowing fully well that the person sending the question might just be from a different country? Is this the picture we want to give others about India? We should be proud to be Indians and should talk highly of our country. This brings me to my next point.
I hear a number of Indians, specially students, criticizing the country and saying that they want to leave it. It bothers me that educated Indians themselves have no will to help develop their own country. India cannot grow until the people want to make it grow. Unfortunately, people, including me, have been influenced too much by the western culture. We see America and all we want is to live in a country as 'classy' and developed as America. Why don't we think even once that if we leave, how will our country flourish? It is the people who form a country, not the government and not the old politicians. I am not implying that all of us should join politics and run the country. But the least we can do is lead it to the path of development in the best possible way we know.
Charity begins at home. Our home is India and we are Indians. Running away from this fact won't change it.
Swetank Modi Jul 2014
I fall in love  with dynamics.
I am intrigued by chemistries.
But people, in their own right,
Have never stolen the breath from me.

The interaction between one person and another
Can entertain me for days, weeks, months
To see how their dynamic works, how it functions
In every and every situation, at least once.

Dynamic is not something everyone has
Chemistry is not ensured from birth or at all
Thus when I see it, positive or negative,
It grips me, holds me, keeps me under its thrall.

I do not fall in love with people.
It is a fact I've come to accept.
People have never inspired adoration, no,
I fall in love with dynamics.
1.0k · Jun 2014
One Last Time
Swetank Modi Jun 2014
I look at you

And I see a faraway crafted look in your eyes

Searching for the infinity;

Looking for something that could only be seen,

But could never be felt.

Like a brief moment of solitude,

Or the cracking sound of hailstorms;

You think of me,

Like an unforgettable winter afternoon

Which creates a chill across your spine –

A chill which reaches to your soul

And makes it cold.

Colder.

You close those emerald eyes, and then

You think of me

And of the last time when we kissed,

And how I wrote from the touch of my lips

On your pearl white skin,

How much I love you.

How much I loved you.

But that touch seems like the memories

Of a different lifetime.

A life once lived, but now forgotten

With the thunderstorms of time.

You open your eyes and think of me.

One last time,

Before closing them again. Forever.

And would call me your lover.

A lost one.

Your immortal…
974 · Oct 2014
Love Tap
Swetank Modi Oct 2014
"Love Tap" my ***,
You kicked my beautiful head,
I don't call that love
934 · Sep 2015
Ode to Clash of Clans
Swetank Modi Sep 2015
Barbarians, and archers, and goblins oh my !
Restless in army camps for the raiding is nigh.
The builders are busy setting up my next plot,
Deciding where the mortar can pull off the best shot.

A chop and a cut, and voila ! More land to use,
Setting up decorations, all cast as a ruse.
I look to my shield, and the icon says “none”,
If I don’t request troops soon I’ll surely be done!
I prepare to attack, but don’t like what I see,
So “next” I press, and hope for a camp that’s easy !
Aha! I exclaim as I find a weak prey,
Gold walls or not, I’ll be claiming victory this day !

Giants come rumbling, to cause some destruction,
Followed by wall breakers to remove all obstruction.
With holes now aplenty, in come the rest of the crew,
To pilfer and plunder and do what they do.
100% !!! And 3 stars the finale,
Plus 35 more trophies to add to my tally.
Mission completed, I set back to my camp,
A smile on my face feeling like a real champ !

The day’s at an end so off goes the phone,
In the middle of the night I hear a familiar tone.
I reach for my ipad and what do I see,
****** ! I’ve been raided by PãRāß@pk !!!
With shields now up for the next 16 hours,
My resources are safe and I can upgrade my towers !
And thus ends the day’s tale of cast spells and flighted arrow,
Don’t worry Clash of clans, I’ll be back tomorrow !!!
869 · Oct 2014
Pythagoras
Swetank Modi Oct 2014
A Hypotenuse
Is on the opposide side
Of the right triangle
853 · Feb 2015
Friendship
Swetank Modi Feb 2015
Living without them is blue
That I never knew
What my life will be without them
They are the one who always been there for me
When I am so crazy,
When I am feeling so down
and most especially when I am worst.
They accept me whatever I am.
They are the people who can tell you frankly
Though their words hurt me badly
But that's what bestfriends for.
We don't have that kind of perfect friendship
We sometimes fought
But what matters most is we always forgive each other.
Give each other a chance.
A chance for us to realize our mistakes
And for us to realize the true value of friendship.
I'm so lucky to have you guys
Not just only as my bestfriends but being as my FAMILY ❤
LOVE. LAUGH. FORGIVE.
Friendship do matter :)
Be my friend forever
823 · Jul 2014
My Opium
Swetank Modi Jul 2014
I thought something
Was wrong with me.
I'm writing so
Seriously.
Reading poetry
Religiously.
Lines invade
When I'm retiring,
Ascending I'm reciting,
Divining parallel parables.
I'm convinced he's
Left the stage,
Replaced by me
On the page,
In figures of speech.
The Chosen words,
Give meaning and comfort
Religion obscured.
664 · Oct 2014
Meet Up
Swetank Modi Oct 2014
A while plastic spork
Met three silver spoons last night
Stuck-up spoons are dumb
657 · Dec 2015
New Year
Swetank Modi Dec 2015
New Year's Eve
2 minutes to midnight
1 minute
30 seconds
20 seconds
10 seconds
9
8
7
6
5
4
3
2
1

It's a new year
But it's a scary year
Every year
It's just been back to the same thing
Back to school
Back to friends
Back to boring

This year,
everything is changing
Back to school
till May
April showers
Bring high school results

4rd of August fireworks
Fade into first year
of college.
College
I've always dreamed of this
But it's so close
And I want a redo

Because it's been
almost a whole year
since you left
and I sit
and think of you
everyday

We were supposed to do this
together.
But you left.
655 · May 2016
I've got to be strong
Swetank Modi May 2016
She used to smile
to really smile
she used to love life.

But then one day,
From nowhere,
Her life completely changed.

"I've got to be strong"
  She said to herself
and so, her heart she locked away.

She was strong for years,
  but as time went by
she started to fear

Her feelings wanted freedom
so she opened her heart for a little while
and then they came pouring...

Shouting and bitting
screaming and demanding attention
She couldn't take the pressure

So she wrote a note to her loved ones
and with tears in her eyes
she swallow the death pills

Her mom tried to save her
she went to get help
and they helped her

The feelings are strong
but now she knows,
that it was too late.

She blamed herself
but now she knows,
she knows she is stronger.
In the memory of my late sister
623 · Jun 2014
Tired of Being your Friend
Swetank Modi Jun 2014
I'm tired of being the one who listens.
I'm tired of being the one who calls.
The one who ends silences.
The one who breaks down walls.



The one who never shows anger.
The one who never asks.
And the one who will remember
But wear a smiling mask.



Old friends are better than new.
They know you without needing to ask.
But I wish that sometimes you
would, even if you know, still ask.



I'm tired of the distances.
Of having to work at keeping it alive.
Excuse me my absences:
I may - or may not - be back in a while.
578 · Jun 2014
Quick Thoughts
Swetank Modi Jun 2014
I never stick to anything for more than a few weeks
Habits die harder than young love, it's so bleak
I never finish anything, my creation is disaster
But if destruction's a form of creation, call me.. "Creative Master"
572 · Jun 2014
Loving you in silence
Swetank Modi Jun 2014
I see you and can't look you in the eye
I feel your presence as you pass by me and i can't feel your touch
I hear you speak and i can't just open my mouth
I see your footprints and i cant follow your steps
We both stare at each other and i look away
568 · Oct 2014
Her Name Is Flora
Swetank Modi Oct 2014
She is a flower
Out to glamorize everything she touches
And everything she sets foot on

She is a flower
Admired for her beauty
That casts light on your gloomy day

She is a flower
Your object of adoration
Where your loyalty lies

She is a flower
A cure to the sickness
Unfolding within you

She is the flower
You picked up rashly
And took away from where she’s supposed to be

She is the flower
Caged in the vase locked in your dark room
No one else can see

She is the flower
Stray in your heart
That blocks the daylight she deserves to indulge herself in

She is the flower
You so much care for
That she wilts in your selfish hands
538 · Aug 2015
God Made Me...
Swetank Modi Aug 2015
God made me loving
So I would love everyone

God made me broken
So I could make sure I never break someone else

God made me hurt
So I could heal others

God made me anxious
So I could learn to trust

God made me motherly
For those who don't have one

God made me uncoordinated
So I would know that balance
Is not always physical

God made me compassionate
So I would know his love for us

God made me faithful
So I would know what it's like to be betrayed

God made me insecure
So I could tell others that no one is perfect

God made me human
Flawed
Broken
Anxious
And uncoordinated that I am

So He could prove to me
That He is stronger than my ups
And
Downs.
526 · Oct 2014
Sudden
Swetank Modi Oct 2014
Stingy bug of hate
Have you met my flyswatter?
Death can be sudden
516 · Oct 2014
Envy
Swetank Modi Oct 2014
Some people want
nothing to do with you
until your success
becomes something
that they envy
Don't let such people fool you.
494 · Jun 2014
Ditty
Swetank Modi Jun 2014
I sing because my heart is full;
I sing because my soul is free;
I sing because the love I feel for her
is such a lovely thing.

I'll write for her, ten thousand words;
I'll write for her, a thousand songs-
I'll write them in the hopes that
I can sing them to her all night long.

I hope your heart is full of peace;
I hope your soul is snug and warm-
for I'll be with you very soon,
to sing, you held close in my arms...
445 · Jul 2014
I Cannot Say Goodbye
Swetank Modi Jul 2014
You are gone now,

But I am still here.

And as I recollect the sweet memories,

My eye sheds a tear.



I will miss you a lot,

That’s for sure.

For you were like the morning rays,

So fresh and so pure.



You were like the sun rays,

That woke me up each morning.

You were like my shadow,

Which would be with me till evening.



You were like sparkling water,

Transparent and clear.

I would see my reflection in you and smile,

But you are no more here.



You were like the setting sun,

Glowing red and bright.

But, you would return again as the moon,

Shining high and white.



I see your face in the stars,

Smiling and so full of joy.

I will never forget you,

And never say goodbye.
432 · Oct 2014
Breakup
Swetank Modi Oct 2014
Here and now
We say our final goodbyes
We say that we want to part ways
But we really want to stay
We don't want things to end
We never did
We love each other
We were meant for each other
We have shared so many perfect memories
We had perfect days
We had perfect months
We had perfect years
We wish this wasn't happening
We will miss each other so terribly much
We will never be apart for long
We always come back to each other
We love each other that much
We care for each other
We comfort each other
We need each other
We make a perfect team
Like fire and ice
Like peanut butter and jelly
Like life and death.
But one of us became unhappy.
Was it you?
Was it me?
I can't remember.
I wish we didn't have to end
I loved you.
Did you love me?
You said you did.
I wish I could know for sure.
I want to stay with you forever.
I miss you already.
I will never be the same without you.
I don't know how I'll survive.
I remember all the fun times I shared with you.
I like to think about my past with you.
I wish I had had more time with you.
I know that you might still come back for me.
I hope you do.
I miss you.
Do you miss me?
388 · Sep 2015
School Results.
Swetank Modi Sep 2015
Two 100's.
My father says the world is my oyster.

I guess I could do anything,
continue to learn

anything I wanted
to know, I could know - anything.

Knowledge is power
and the world is my oyster.
371 · Jun 2014
Inspiration
Swetank Modi Jun 2014
Impregnation
Inevitably results in conception
You are prolific,
And I, so very fertile.
The gestation period varies
I, heavy with our creation
Give birth to words.
Our children delight us
One day, they too
Will speak, and seed.
364 · Jun 2014
Elevation
Swetank Modi Jun 2014
Drugs impair us
beyond repair
Lowly death
~Vs~ the highs of life
Does not compare
mind likes to travel
Body takes it there
remember this feeling
And for once in forever
Forget to care.
360 · Jun 2014
Your Highness
Swetank Modi Jun 2014
Girl: "I wish tomorrow was Tuesday. Oh God."
Boy: "Erm. Tomorrow's Tuesday."
Girl: "Chup reh. I wish tomorrow was Saturday. Wheeeeeeeeeeeeee".
359 · Oct 2014
Reluctantly
Swetank Modi Oct 2014
I wake, reluctant;
Too cold to get out of bed,
But I need to ***
358 · Sep 2015
I waited....
Swetank Modi Sep 2015
I waited
Just waited
Waiting for the day
When you would text me

"Good morning beautiful"
How I waited for those 3 words
To pop up onto my screen

I waited    
Just waited
But they haven't came

So I wondered
And keep on wondering
Do you even miss me

a month has gone by
Still no word
I'm so crushed
But you don't see                

I hide my feelings
Behind closed screens
I pretend it doesn't bother me
Secretly it's driving me crazy

I fooled around
I had my fun
But none can compare to you

I miss your silly little smolder
The way you held me
I miss the fun times we had
The endless nights we slept together

I can go on forever
I wish it was different
I know it can't be
But if ever you need me
You know where to find me
356 · Oct 2014
To Shed The Darker Things
Swetank Modi Oct 2014
Im walking around as a man,
I see all the peoples numbed
And hysterical running sideways
Awash in all the bumpers and
Window pains.

A whiff of life matters and its suicidal.
I walk sober and wonder of gardens
And simple natures, a return to all
That that I forgot.
I see the institutional shadows
Hogging all the light.

It so happens Im sober now
And I'm fed up with this circus.
Being this kind of man leaves
Me feeling plastic.

Still- it would be nice to rain
A little hope now and again,
Leaving the panic of bills and
Payments behind for a few,
Maybe just breathe and know I am alive,
But all the people seem to be
Dying of the shivers.

I cannot live like this,
Like a fool with no bearing,
Wide open and wounded dripping
All the demons that seem better
Than this realistic catastrophe,
Absorbing the monetary blows.

Ive had all I can take from
The sadness, the pain, the old demons.
I step into your world and I decided
I dont like it this way either,
Dying of normalcy and repetition.

I am no cadaver, underground with
A bunch of metaphorical cadavers,
The paper be the morgue,
The words be the morbidity of the
Life.

Thats why I flare up indside like
A bon fire, when you see me up close
With the face of a poet, the life
Of a rogue, broken down and
Walking with grey October,
You will see me.

Something shoves me toward hope,
Dripping the fragments of darkness,
I fly out the windows,
Smelling afresh the air I know
Is there, I smile and I know
That I make hope,
Such audacious hope.

There, the trusted doors I open,
The horror that I leave,
The repetition I smite,
I still all the mirrors and take a deep breath,
Unabashed crossing your path,
I see with crystalline eyes,
The world I make,
The wounded heart that still
Manages to love,

I dare to hope,
I dare to live,
I live to hope.....
341 · Oct 2014
Breakup
Swetank Modi Oct 2014
Yesterday

the ravens shook the sky

and the clouds fell down into the stream.

Yesterday

was the day that my heart died

and you told me not to think about my dreams.

The sun didn’t shine

The birds didn’t sing

All we did was lie in bed and

think of all the sadder things.

A pile of books fell off the shelf

opened up to the end

and that’s the moment when you said

we should just be friends.

Yesterday

the sky never was blue

only grey!

Yesterday was filled with silence

when you said all you had to say.

But today the sun is shining,

and the pavement is warm

my face it is smiling

I’m not sad anymore

'Cause if you leave me

you didn’t love me

I was wasting my time…

Now it’s my turn to shine.
Swetank Modi Oct 2014
I’m a few hours
and minutes
and seconds
away from adding a year
to my relatively irrelevant age
and I contemplate the complexities
of such a small number.

Nineteen.

Legally an adult,
but not nearly ready
to enter the world
on my own.

I cannot even fathom  
               braving the hallways of
               horrendous high school
or
               supporting myself and
               being on time for my insurance
               all while balancing a career

I’m stuck in the middle
of this whirlwind
of emotions and numbers
and candles and time
and homework and paychecks
and everything else
that comes with the titles of
student and teenager
and adult and employee.

It’s minutes before
I can blow out the candles
on eighteen
but I also extinguish another bit
of dependence.
318 · Oct 2014
Sense
Swetank Modi Oct 2014
Haikus are easy,
But sometimes they don't make sense
Refrigerator
316 · Oct 2014
SHOUTING
Swetank Modi Oct 2014
Nighttime is scary.
The “monster under the bed” or
the “ghost in the dark”
are childish compared to what
the night really holds.
It holds loneliness,
quietness,
truth.
The truth that
you are not important.
not another soul cares.
Your thoughts are your only “friend”,
and even those are dangerous.
Beckoning.
Calling to me.
SHOUTING at me to give in.
Give in to the urges.
Give in to the hurt.
Open the ivory,
and let the red pour out.
The shine of silver was my only solace,
the “light at the end of the tunnel”.
The SHOUTING is endless.
Deafening.
Screaming to make it stop only makes it louder.
The SHOUTING shakes me.
V
   i
      b
         r
            a
               t
                  i
                     n
                        g
    throughout my body.
M o v i n g me to give in.
Give in.
Give in.
It yells.
It screams.
It is SHOUTING.
Cursing,
yelling,
crying,
screaming.
Nothing works.
“just be quiet. please.”
A whisper.
The SHOUTING stops.
I am all alone again.
The silence is endless.
Deafening.
Screaming for it to come back only makes it more still.
The silence shakes me.
V
   i
      b
         r
            a
               t
                  i
                     n
                        g
    throughout my body.
M o v i n g me to plead.
To plead.
To plead.
It’s hushed.
It’s reticent.
It is silent.
Begging,
praying,
demanding,
urging.
Nothing works.
“come back.”
A whisper.
The SHOUTING doesn’t return.
308 · Jun 2014
Infinite
Swetank Modi Jun 2014
“The more you approach infinity, the deeper you penetrate terror.”
                                                                                 - Gustave Flaubert

He was like fire, a pyre of flames engulfing the darkness.
He burned brighter than the sun.
He cast shadows longer than an unending road.
He was a child of fear, and pain.
All his morbid desires took shape one day, and he felt alone.
Lost.
Gone.

She was like rain, a rush of calmness.
She had happiness in her eyes, and love in her heart.
She was a child of hope, and wisdom.
She met him, and all hell broke loose.
She quenched his thirst.
She broke him in the best of ways.
She completed him.

A silent whisper of freshness.
A breath.
Life.
They were infinite together.
Swetank Modi Jul 2014
There's a first time for everything.
First love-
First kiss,
First real relationship.
First time I knew you were looking right through me.
First time I doubted you,
First time I questioned the motives for the things you do.
First moment I suspected you didn't love me.
First time I knew you thought I was inferior to thee.
First time you yelled at me.
First time you touched me and it wasn't lovingly.
First time you pulled away from a kiss and then wouldn't look me in the eyes.
First time I knew some of what you said would still be just lies.
First time I could see myself building a life with another person.
First time I loved freely without needing permission.
First time I thought you were different.
First time I realized you were just like the rest of them.
Remember the first time you got so afraid I was going to leave?
First time you made me cry, first of oh so many.
First time you hugged me.
First time you spoke without love or sincerity.
First time you said you missed me.
Our first, and our last, anniversary.
First time you told me I wasn't very smart.
First time someone ever broke my heart.
302 · Oct 2014
Biggest Problem
Swetank Modi Oct 2014
The only problem
With haiku is that
You get started and then...
298 · Oct 2014
Autumn
Swetank Modi Oct 2014
Deep autumn:
my neighbor,
how does he live, I wonder? ...
297 · Oct 2014
How To Write A Haiku
Swetank Modi Oct 2014
Five syllables here
Seven more syllables there
Are you happy new?
291 · Jun 2014
Little Infinity
Swetank Modi Jun 2014
So ever since I was a kid,

I found myself chasing for the things I could never have.

The clothes I could never wear.

The things I could never eat.

The people I could never meet.

Never love. Never kiss. Never truly have.

The person I could never love.

The person I could never kiss.

I person I could never have.

You asked me today to let you go.

But how can I let you go, my love!

When I never had you at all!

You told me you loved me with all your heart.

That I’m a wild rose and I will always be yours,

And I believed you

Because at that moment – I know you meant it!

But sometimes love is not enough to keep two people together.

And I learned it the hard way,

When I never got the things I wanted.

When I never got the people I love.

And when I realized that every moment,

Every breath is just one more cry.

One more loss.

One more death.

And I feel like I’m a walking funeral

Of the death of all these incomplete wishes,

Oh! They are still haunting me.

You. You…

You are not one of those wishes.

Never was – never will.

You will always be with me.

And I’m talking about forever here.

You will be with me - like my heartbeat,

And my sight.

And my voice.

And my thoughts.

And my dreams.

My desires. My cravings. My soul.

I know that nothing lasts forever.

“Forever” is such a myth.

But in the last couple of days –

When you told me you love me,

Even with my flaws.

Especially with my flaw.

When you made me smile with just a text message.

When you kissed me Good night.

When you made me love myself.

When you made my world stop.

You gave me my little infinity,

In these last couple of days.

And no one can take that away from me.

Ever.

You will always be my

Little Infinity.
286 · Jun 2014
The Red Overcoat
Swetank Modi Jun 2014
There she was, standing in the rain.

I held my hand out.
She dug her hands deep inside her pocket.

We both looked at the grass-
There was a sharp line.

I took a step forward.
She took a step back.

I listened to the sound of thunder,
She heard the raindrops thud against the ground.

I tried to talk.
She just shook her head.

I clutched at her red overcoat.
She just shook it off, and ran.

I cried out in desperation.
She never turned back.


"I was always holding onto people, and they were always leaving. "
Next page