cw: domestic abuse
Despite being a girl,
I’ve always liked
I used to prefer books
as I had more imaginary freedom
over the characters and scenery
until I learned my mom was screaming for him to stop.
the sound effects in video games
I feel like I’m my character!
Moreover, the music
for this game
makes me feel like
I really can save the world.
If I can save
then why can’t I
I’ll study well,
make a vaccine,
save endangered wildlife from extinction,
solve world hunger.
I want to be a nameless hero
just like my favorite characters
who do it simply out of responsibility
instead of fame or fortune.
If I just
Can I really do anything
if I can’t even
from one man?
"Save the galaxy by…"
My character chimes.
I’ll do it this time.
I’m done being a little kid.
I’ll save her.
has taught me how to save my mom.
are returning now.
Dread, agony, and disgust materializes
as I recognize my face in the mirror.
There is no character theme
if I disregard the sound of my mom crying.
Instead, I observe the boring figure in the mirror with no sharp angles or colors.
He left when I was deep within the pool of self-loathing,
claiming he’d get himself something to eat
as us women haven’t prepared food for weeks,
When I leave my room for the first time in days,
my mom greets me with a smile,
pretending like she wasn’t just crying.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
“Sweetheart,” she says, voice wavering.
I can smell him on her.
“Do you mind making him food to eat?”
“No.” I reply as I peer into the empty cupboards.