do you love
when you are ready
or just whenever
love is there?

i wonder
how terrible
things are going
around your mind
that you are able
to write those pieces
so heartbreaking
yet so beautiful

what is the poet's purpose
if it forgets how to write?
how can the poet continue to breathe
without words in his mind
poems out of reach

i used to promise
to a poet within
"i will write a book
promise you'll be happy
for sure you'll be amused!"
so i wrote
and i wrote
and i wrote
but slowly my words
started to die
poems are dead
now i am unhooked
i cannot write
like how i used to before
i know i am done
i am done
and i am done
the poet within
is now out of tune
out of tune

And when the astronaut
fall inlove with the sea
you will see him dreaming
how wonderful it is
to be a scuba diver
and dive into
the deepest part of the ocean.

you used to be
the color of the sky
when the sun is bright
so peaceful to look at

the color of the ocean
with the soft breeze it brings
it touches my face
so pure, so calm

the color of the shirt
you wore on our first date
so masculine
and sophisticated to look at

but now you are an entirely different shade of blue
so hurtful to see as our memories haunt me still
with tears in my eyes
im all alone and blue

somewhere down the broken lines
we will meet and know
the answer of all those hows and whys

how my truth is no longer you
and why your love is no longer mine

living in a world
where giving up is not a choice
is indeed cruel
suffocating and absurd
pushing one's limit
to reach a goal
leaving yourself empty
a burned-out soul

lately ive been pondering
if is it really a dream deferred
or i cant just accept
that its a dream denied

i've always wanted to write more
but i am here
gasping for words
overwhelmed by poetries
drowned in my thoughts

i am alone
staring at the ceiling from my bed
thoughts swirling
i cant get it out of my head
nightmares crawling
slowly but harsh
despite my eyes open
from nightmares i am trying to hide
i kept running and hiding
either asleep or awake they kept on hunting
i am seeking for help
silently im dying

may you
never get tired
of loving the core
the universe–
and everything in between

you can try
to cover my mouth
close my eyes
block my ears
and put my hand down

but you can never stop
a heart
that shouts for her rights
a heart
who wants to resist

because a heart that loves
loves so hard
and if she fights
she fights so hard

i want to thank you
give a pat on your head
and a warm tight hug
for all the times you chose not to jump

those days you felt like nothing's gonna work
moments you cannot see your worth
the battles you fought alone
and times you cannot find your home
silent cries at night in your room
with no one to hold
only yourself to lose

thank you for giving another day a chance
thank you for not giving up
thank you for all the times you chose not to jump

with the stars as my witness
i promise to love thee
above anything else
without bounds
forever and always

i thought for once that forgetting you
was the hardest thing i will ever do
little did i know that going back
to the way i used to be
before you came
will be harder
that i am still here
trying

i used to be so afraid
of what lies ahead in the future
but as i age i tell myself
to wherever and whoever i will be
i am sure it's gonna be right

perhaps, this is the love
I was created for
without buts
without doubts
full of hope
full of love

Let me pick those dull daisies
Supplant those with roses and lilies
Take the agony and sadness away
And I'll replace it
With ravishing orchids
As you do the same thing
With these flowers in my head

Let me pour love
And watch you bloom
As the sun shines directly
Towards us two
Continue growing with me
Even days are blue
This love will g r o w --
And so us, too

how
are
you ?

i used to know love
and recognize him so fast
even with eyes closed
i am familiar with his scent
even if he's wearing a different cologne
i can name all his tiny gestures
still spots his voice
amidst a loud crowd
i can find love so easily

but after almost two years of not meeting love
i am no longer sure how love looks like
i cannot tell if he has long hair
or maybe he likes it clean?
does he have a very deep voice
or a soft one maybe?
is he shy
or is he confident enough?
i am not sure really

or perhaps this time
love should be the one to recognize me

i have to say
that i am proud of you
for getting that courage
to pull yourself out
of the darkness that embraces you every day
it must have been hard
but here you are moving forward

if i could
i would kiss away the pain
with poetries and prose
for all i know is write
until all the tears are out dry

but i couldnt

if you want me to
ill go and take the stars
out of the sky
just for you

and suddenly
i dont want
to write
anymore
my mouth
seems too tired
to utter
a word
hands
are too numb
to write a prose
mind
is too blank
heart
is no longer beating
too fast
i
just
wanna write
no more

...but the actual problem is that
i still write about you
you are still the sun in the sky
shining brightly in the morning
and setting so beautifully at dawn
yours is still the deepness of the ocean
i want to explore and dive into
you are still my 11:11 wish
the daydream i always miss
you are still the metaphor in every piece—
you are still the metaphor in every piece

maybe you were in love with those conversation we shared by the balcony while staring at the sky

or maybe you were in love with those sweet messages i sent you as soon as i wake up

or maybe you were in love with those poems i wrote for you specially when you are feeling blue

maybe you were in love of the idea of me being there

maybe you were in love with those,

but never with me.

like sunsets
may we be reminded
that endings are supposed to be beautiful
if it isn't
then it is not the end yet

just like water
you wash away those tears
and i drown into you constantly

i wanna write more
but my mind is empty
soul is missing
heart is shattered
i am broken
i am lost

what if love
isnt just really
meant for people
like
us?

should we stop loving
or continue to chase
that magical feeling
called
love?

love arrived one day
and i know
that i am more than willing
to give all my heart and soul
without fear
all in
full of hope
because we don't know
when love will leave
or if it will ever try
to visit me once more

may you continue
reaching your dreams
even if sometimes
it is too far
even if sometimes
it is too hard
may you never get tired
of moving forward

you are my sun
but i know
you are rising
for someone else

you are not asking for too much
no, you are not
maybe he is just not the right person
because the right one for you
will go even through the depths of hell
just to give you whatever he can
and he will love you
so much
that you will regret
asking your past
the least he can give.

"kiss me like how you kiss the sky
shine for me like how you do every night
twinkle like how you always do
guide me as i walk towards you
and i promise to love thee
explore your soul like how i explore the sea
forever 'til eternity"

-
the oath of the fish to her beloved star

you are
the complete personification of the ocean

deep and enchanting,
so blue yet charming,

and i am a swimmer

allow me to explore,
unravel your mystery

let me dig deep,
solve you 'til eternity

oftentimes
it is better
to leave words
unspoken
and unheard

for truth
can be too painful
that it is better
to turn a blind eye
on things
that might have occurred

3 of 30

Pampering myself with the scent of the old ink,
The sound produced by the pen suddenly turns into a melody,
Letters collided and produced words,
Which indulged me as I turn them into metaphors

I started to define the curves of his lips,
How his tears flow down as he begins to bleed,
The way he laugh and make hearts skip a beat,
His anger and sorrow that turns up the heat

As I put the little details of him in each verses,
He began to learn how to use a pen and a paper,
Created a prose which contains lines,
Another being he is starting to define

A lady with long curly hair,
Fiery eyes which can easily tame,
Rosy cheeks and curvy lips,
He started to depict beauty― his poetry which isn't me

i knew im ****** up the moment i imagined how our perfect first date would look like

ill definitely bring you in a zoo because i wanted to hear you talk about the things you love
your passion in loving and caring for these creatures
i wanna see your eyes sparkle through that

or maybe ill bring you in a peaceful place
because i know how bothered your mind is most of the time
from all the responsibilities you juggle in your everyday life
i want to give you peace

or maybe we will study together?
stare at the skies?
maybe watch a movie or two?
or anything

anything could actually work
as long as it's with you
i know it'll be perfect

he collected me
once every piece
and shaped my edges
for him to fit me in

and then when he left
returning those parts of me

it no longer fit
the way
it used to be

the stars tomorrow
are not as much as tonight
the moon so beautiful
won't be as bright as how it is right now
i must say
the world get's sadder and sadder
everyday

i don't know
but it lingers within me
flowing through my veins
causing my muscles to ache
scratches my heart
and causing that pain

i must say
that emptiness
is finding its way
to knock down my walls
and make me think
about those dismays

never stop until i fall
into the grave of darkness
disappointment
and loneliness

i am slowly fading
but sadness keeps on prevailing

you were that dream
who made me fear
the idea of falling asleep
and made me burst into tears
everytime i wake up

amidst those night
you are with me
and my calm soul
sleeping so soundly

you were the dream
i considered bad
but with you i know—
i am safe & sound

drowning in my own sea of sadness
i kept gasping for air
screaming for help
but i have nowhere to go
and nobody to hold

maybe ill just stay here
just drown myself more

some days are extra hard
but i hope you try
to be extra kind to yourself, too

in the end
i hope you choose yourself
because there is no other love
more beautiful than the love for one's self

genuine.
everlasting.

"are you
still in love
with me?"

asked the moon
with tears
flowing down
her cheeks

"i am afraid
that i
no longer am."

answered him
as he vanished
from the sky

the setting sun
leaving the world dark
leaving the moon behind