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Aug 2015 · 919
ROCKBOTTOM
mandy rigby Aug 2015
the depths of despair can be as deep .. as the ocean can be blue
but that's not as deep as the despair i feel when i'm lying here, missing you
blood stains on the ceiling .. hypodermic hell
desperate, broken, bleeding .. as i try to remember your smell
thoughts of how we used to be, flash across my mind
with each and every memory, chemicals unwind
but here i am, still breathing, the person that i used to be
and although i know i'm missing you, i cannot set you free
always and forever a place within my heart
you think you know the bitter end, but that's the place to start

(c) p skez and msrigs 22/08/2015
mandy rigby Mar 2015
How did it feel at the end ?.. were your legs as heavy as your heart as you took your last journey, upwards .. all the way to the top.
What led you to this place?. so broken, so defeated..
I can only imagine how wounded you must have felt, knowing your demise was considered entertainment to the crowd below. Goading you to jump, baying shamelessly for your blood. Updating social media status' .. phones pointed upwards so they could capture your misery and share it with the world.
That must be a very lonely place to be .. .
Did they not comprehend that you were someone's child, perhaps someone's Father.
Their lack of compassion could only have added to your brokenness, your feeling of being alone, misunderstood, unloved.
They left you no options, encouraging you to die like that, when you so obviously needed a kind voice, a kind heart to show you the way down to safety.
Did they enjoy the show ..as you came falling from the sky, did the crowd fall silent as you hit the ground ... LIFELESS .. Do they even comprehend how greatly they have sinned?
May I apologise on behalf of humanity, or share your grief for the lack of.
I hope you have gained the peace, you so desired and didn't get whilst here on earth.


(for the guy who commited suicide, jumping from a multi storey this weekend, spurred on by the crowd below)

(msrigs 17/03/2016)
FOR THE GUY WHO COMMITED SUICIDE IN TELFORD  .. MARCH 2015
Oct 2014 · 1.3k
ORGASMIC
mandy rigby Oct 2014
I look at you, you look at me.
I guess its ****** chemistry.

I can be all, that I can be,
when you look like that at me.

Give me eyes, come to bed.
lets just leave the rest unsaid ...

your eyes suggest, you're loving me,
I love the way you look at me.

Honest truth, so do mine,
I think our love is just divine

climbing higher with my desire,
falling straight into your fire

can taste your pleasure,
feel your pain,
lets get it on a- fkin -gain

(c) mandy rigby 17/03/2014
LOVE *** ROMANCE
Oct 2014 · 653
Stars
mandy rigby Oct 2014
many stars that I have seen
you eclipsed all with your beam
your light is like an orb
far too much to absorb
your light shines so bright
it can obscure the stars at night
make them look light years behind
that is how you blow my mind

(c) mandy rigby 08/06/2014
love light *** romance stars
Oct 2014 · 627
Kiss me
mandy rigby Oct 2014
A genuine kiss, eyes closed,
a passionate kiss, tips on face hold,

a loving kiss, hold me more tightly,
beautiful concept, do it forthrightly

a genuine kiss, shy or bold,
weak at the knees, now I'm sold

a mind blowin kiss, rock me steady,
a lovers kiss, eyes shut .. im ready

just give me a kiss , lock on my lips
pull me closer, caress now my hips

hands on the small of my back
hit me with a kissin attack

now I'm dreaming
falling flying

your kisses have style
there's no denying

(c) mandy rigby 25.06.2014
love *** kiss
Oct 2014 · 1.4k
HUNGRY POET
mandy rigby Oct 2014
I'm in the gutter, skinny and pale
God bless me with a poetry sale
got lots of words but got no food
somethin to eat would improve my mood
words could be my bread and butter
i can type them all , without a st stutter
someone send a cheque to me
and put my poetry on tv
21st century pam eyres
I really hope that someone cares
let the poetry spill from my lips
as I'm dreamin oven chips

(c) p skez and ms rigs 07/10/2014
Oct 2014 · 5.4k
ALL DRESSED UP
mandy rigby Oct 2014
please give to me a proper job
otherwise I'm on the rob
me tummy hearts n me eyes are poppin
as around the shop i go hoppin
gonna steal new shoes, leave the old ones behind
security .... I'll blow ya mind
aberdeen angus, 21 day steak
come on tesco's give me a break
gonna nick whiskey, and fine wine
I'll be popular come tea time
gonna get the dress of my dreams
a vivien westwood, with tailored seams
lingerie, make up, and perfume
i'll get some attention .. in my living room

(c) msrigs 07/10/2014
Oct 2014 · 12.3k
Heroin
mandy rigby Oct 2014
I knew straight away it was wrong for me,
but ****** ... was all that i could see.
I knew pretty soon, it would make me sick,
but me thinkin was slow and addiction was quick.

I didnt think then it would ruin my life,
didn't want to be its slave, nor be its wife.
Didn't know then the years would fly by,
for every low there is a high.

Didn't think then my addiction would spread
smoke crack all night, spend the day in bed.

(c) ms rigs 04/10/2014
Oct 2014 · 1.1k
UNCONDITIONAL
mandy rigby Oct 2014
my one and only soul mate
kindred spirit of love and hate
passionate, loving and volatile
I'd follow you mile for mile
I get so high then crash again
as love hurts and causes pain
relationship .. like a war
fallen for you many times before
thinkin of you first thing in the mornin
as i open my eyes , stretching and yawnin

(c) msrigs 06/10/2014
Oct 2014 · 1.1k
THE BEAST
mandy rigby Oct 2014
will the beast get me on my knees?
i'm good at this i aim to please
i'm pretty sure i know what i'm doin
******* with you n ya mind is screwin

**** the 666
thats the devil playing tricks
i can do tricks better myself
i can **** with mental health

beelzebub is no-one to me
i will spit him out a catastrophe
i got the devil givin me pleas
I'll take my time cos I'm at ease

old nick ain't got nothing on me
he got **** all a travesty
crank the furnace up to 11
otherwise i'm off to heaven

spewing **** and blood and fire
get working on my funeral pyre

(c) msrigs 03/10/2014
Jul 2014 · 1.5k
valium stories
mandy rigby Jul 2014
****** it's pure rock and roll
it can burn any bridge and dig any hole
always remember to forget your name
follow the rules of the ****** game
rattle off some ****** wit
you don't need to speak
just think about it

take a spin .. ride the ****** power
reduce your speed to zero an hour
pass out face first in ya dinner
not a good look .... but it keeps ya thinner
overdose into an ashtray
do it in style .... the ****** way



(to be fair to ****** , i generally mixed it with other drugs)

(c) mandy rigby 23.7.2014
Jun 2014 · 1.3k
VIVE LA REVOLUTION
mandy rigby Jun 2014
I'm going to start,
a revolution.
Mess with the government,
fk their constitution

I'm going to put them,
on minimum wage,
sit right back,
and watch them rage

Gonna drug test them,
3 times a week.
Keep them quiet,
so they don't speak

Show them how it feel's,
not to be trusted,
send the police round their house,
and watch them get busted

These are a few idea's.
I've got a load more.
Gonna go to number 10,
and knock on their door

(c) mandy rigby 06/02/2014
Jun 2014 · 3.0k
FRUSTRATED
mandy rigby Jun 2014
some of the time
I cannot think straight
and to others I cannot relate

all the times I've almost gone under
heard the lightning strike
the roar of the thunder

I've felt vulnerable and under attack
I've made mistakes that I cannot take back

in desperate times,
I've almost drowned
caught up in the rat race
overwhelmed by the sound

(c) msrigs edited 26.06 2014
Jun 2014 · 708
EBB AND FLOW
mandy rigby Jun 2014
Tumbling, stumbling,
shifting skies.
Dont want to be seen,
so i close my eyes.
Contemplating,
ease of pain,
too much to lose,
nothing to gain.

Circumstances quickly change,
again the puzzle re-arranged.
Hard to breathe,
my mind does wonder.
I'd stop and cry,
but I'd go under,

Ease my inner conscience pains
unwanted thoughts,
binding chains.
Moving mountains,
hypnotic trance.
Compose myself,
deep breath,
last chance.

((c) mandyrigby 28/11/2013)
depression drug addiction abuse spirituality
Jun 2014 · 1.1k
riding the crazy train
mandy rigby Jun 2014
here's the price for playin with fire
I'm the dealer you're the buyer

one way ticket to hell
i sense your eagerness, i know it well

STOPPIN FOR PASSENGERS

get some rush thru your vein
here i am to step up the game

okay sit back relax
check your arms .. their full of tracks

moving on to your femoral vein
a 5 mill needle gonna rush your brain

watch out for the DVT
the NHS amputate for free

sit back and enjoy the ride
you're about to lose all your pride

you just handed it to me
i ain't finished yet ... you will see

here i am to make you hurt
as I grind your life into the dirt

(C) MANDY RIGBY 23.06.214
Jun 2014 · 3.2k
Freebird
mandy rigby Jun 2014
Whilst you may keep me in a cage,
placate me, try to soothe my rage.
You can try to clip my wings.
But an unhappy bird, never sings.
I will trick you, into letting me out.
Of this be sure, there is no a doubt.
Off I fly, wondrous birds too see.
Spread my wings cos I am free.
Singing melodies, everywhere.
Now I'm free, I do not care.
I will find my own seed.
A caged bird must be freed.

(c)mandy rigby 24/02/2014
Jun 2014 · 8.3k
Dancing with the devil
mandy rigby Jun 2014
I danced with the devil by the deep blue sea
he injected his venom into me
he waltzed in looking handsome and slick
I didn't know his poison would make me sick

I saw a white dove the devil turned it black
then I knew I could not turn back
the devil held me in his hand,
as my blood dripped in the sand

the devil he has many faces,
appears to people in many places
the devil he plays many games
the devil he has many names

sometimes he'll come with a smile
and your mind he will beguile
sometimes he'll come with a frown
that's when you know your going down

he'll hold your soul in the palm of his hand
as he grinds your ashes into the sand
I am the Devil remember my name,
you may know me as ... CRACK *******

(c) P Skez and Mandy Rigby 16/06/2014
May 2014 · 640
here comes the rain again
mandy rigby May 2014
when I'm with you in the dead of night
I take wings, step into flight

warm and safe, cos your in my bed
the sound of love ... swirls thru my head

offering me solace,
with your warm embrace
drowning me at a gentile pace

heart matching beat with rhythmic score
makes me want you .. even more

lashing me with tempestuous passion
as I hear the thunder crashin

besotted by the elemental roar
as I am drenched .. in the downpour

(c) mandy rigby 31.05.2014
May 2014 · 24.1k
ART OF SEDUCTION
mandy rigby May 2014
candles lit, music's right
I've got plans to ****** tonight
,
I'm in charge .. you like it .. Ok?
going to control you in a most sensual way

I've taken care to dress real nice,
I'm going to blow you .. with ****** spice

I start to undress, start to tease
I wont be happy till your on your knees

we start to kiss, silk skin caress,
your getting hot, a seduction success

as your hands start to roam.
its too late .. your not goin home

now our clothes are on the floor,
both naked .. cept for Christian Dior

I start to moan, beg and plead,
In doin so .. i increase your need

(c) mandy rigby 22.05.2014

(thought I'd have a go at ****** poetry)
May 2014 · 1.6k
Irresistable
mandy rigby May 2014
Overwhelmed .. by your sweet smile.
Crushed, defeated ... I like your style.

Taken once again by your guile and charm.
A dopamine rush straight in my arm.

There ya go again, givin it the patter.
I lose control .. but does it matter?

Hatin myself for being unable to resist,
I try to fight the feelin,
but your a catalyst.

wrapped once more in your desire.
tryin to fight it ... but I just get higher

rushed once again .. serotonin flood
I try to hold back .. but ya just so good

(c) mandy rigby 20/05/2014
May 2014 · 525
NOWHERE LEFT TO RUN TO
mandy rigby May 2014
All the times I died inside,
without a place to run or hide.


All the times I was broken hearted,
cos my soul had long departed

All the feelings not displayed,
and all the bad decisions made.

I kept on running,
didn't stop,
always I was on the hop.
.
(c) mandy rigby 09/05/2014
mandy rigby May 2014
I love you, you are mental.
You are chicken oriental.
I love you, cos ya off ya head,
every night when we go to bed ,

getting silly , getting sentimental.
beneath the quilt, ... (its continental)
then I guess, we'll go to town,
underneath the eiderdown....

I love you, my lovely mental case,
i love your mental fkin face .
i love you, cos you love me too,
loving you's like having flu

its like an affliction,
much worse than addiction.
much harder to quit,
than drugs and **** ...

my love for you is not necrotic,
cannot be cured with an antibiotic,
I guess what I'm saying is ..
I love you though, .... ya not the biz.

Been together,
for many a year.
can't belive,
that I'm still here....

(c) mandy "***? rigby 04/03/2014
May 2014 · 1.4k
DONT DO DRUGS KIDS
mandy rigby May 2014
DONT DO DRUGS KIDS


O a sis, John cooper clarke.
Pink floyd, getting ****** in the park.
******, crack co caine.
******, messed up again.

Council estate, tmazipan,
******, taliban.
A paper cup and a ball of string,
Ive lost me phone I'll use anythin.

Trying to get hold of my man,
Thames Valley police catch me if u can.
Tried to get the monkey off my back,
fallen down and landed in the crack ..
between the pavements,
easy street,
walking round no shoes on ma feet.
Touch this and you'll get burnt.
Been 20 years and I still havent learnt.

Loosing teeth, bad legs, getting older.
Are the winters getting colder?
Global warming ... What the ****?
****** ..coming in on a salad truck.
Chav pants, naff fkin trainers,
little going on ... no brainers.

Mental health, welfare state,
think your spot on, think your great.
Urban people telling how it is.
Fk me,  took to much whizz.
Walking round, feeling fantastic,
look at me dancing,
pretty tragic really ...

Stupidly asked some bloke to dance,
now im in the back of an amb ulance.
A saturday casualty.
Its an average weekend for me.
Going mad, on a ******.
******* world,
No surrender.

(c) mandy rigby  and p skez 2012)

(now 4 yrs clean .. can i get an Amen?)
****** crack ****** addiction police oasis john cooper clarke
May 2014 · 942
2 Hearts
mandy rigby May 2014
2 HEARTS ENTWINED

With my words I softly speak,
kiss you gently upon your cheek.
I wipe your brow, you hold my hand,
our love was written, in the sand

I whisper sonnets,
declare to leave you never,
now we're in this both together.

Two comrades in a bitter war,
loving you like never before.
So as our fate is now defined,
as two become one,

I'm inclined..

to take you to that place,
soft and sweet,
two hearts entwined,
to make one beat.

(c) mandy rigby 28/02/2014
May 2014 · 746
Daydreamin
mandy rigby May 2014
Thoughts of you, occupy my mind,
drowning in love of the deepest kind.
Unable to sleep, eat or think,
dreaming of you at the kitchen sink.

Thinkin of all my sweetest wishes,
as I'm stood here, doin the dishes.
Head in the clouds, feet off the ground,
sound of my blood as it rushes around.

Heart beating so fast, a love story to settle,
day dreamin of you, as I turn on the kettle.

(c) mandy rigby 23/03/2014
May 2014 · 2.9k
Crack Psychosis
mandy rigby May 2014
curtains closed, hood up,
doors barricaded,
windows ******* shut

another pipe,
another hit,
that was a mistake,
**** it

lie down, close eyes,
heart racing,
telling me lies,
need a mask, another guise

panic
panic
what was that noise?

deluded thoughts persisting,
mind twisting,
panic ever increasing,
endorphins releasing

lie down, get back up,
will this panic ever stop?

another pipe,
another hit,
that was a mistake,
**** it

(c) mandy rigby 03/13/2014
May 2014 · 1.1k
Current unfairs
mandy rigby May 2014
I'd like to charge,
the government.
With crimes,
against humanity.

Giving M.B.E's,
to hairdresser's.
Only goes,
to prove,
their vanity.

Elderly man
evicted.
Reeked of,
mental health.
Makes me fkin sick,
cos they have,
so much wealth.

Always pointing fingers.
Blood dripping,
from their hands.
yet giving,
tax relief,
to appease,
their Tory fans.

They have no,
understanding,
of what benefit,
equates.
As we conserve,
energy.
they increase,
fuel rates?

They talk of,
unemployment,
like its a,
personal choice.
Jumping to,
conclusions.
As though we,
have no voice.

They've,
no desire,
for shelters.
No funding,
for rehabs.
No interest,
in soup kitchen's.
Or people,
dressed in rags.

DO NOT
be a pawn
in their,
game of chess.
DO NOT fall,
for the lies,
that they suggest.


Destroying their,
own people.
welfare reforms.
Yet writing every,
penny down,
on expenditure,
allowance forms.

Don't they know,
its wrong?
state paying,
for second homes.
When those,
supporting families,
survive on,
payday loans.

Humbled,
working people,
queuing at,
food banks
I wonder,
what goes on,
amongst the,
Tory ranks?

The truth,
of austerity.
11 % bonus,
increase.
The injustice,
of it all,
destroys,
my inner peace.

It's obvious,
their strategy,
to conquer,
by divide.
lining their,
own pockets,
before they,
run and hide

(c) mandy rigby 09/01/2014
May 2014 · 4.4k
Deliveries
mandy rigby May 2014
Making deliv-eries,
drugs of every kind.
Got some that will sedate you,
and some that will blow your mind.

Making deliv-eries,
just trying to ply my trade.
Since i started selling drugs,
can't believe the friends I've made.

Everyone is eager,
bound to big you up.
All in a selfish,
downward spiral,
trying to get ****** up.

The glamour and the tragedy,
of people in the gutter.
But now I'm selling drugs,
it is my bread and butter.

Got to turn it over,
and try to make a buck.
Couple of quid short,
here and there ..
but I don't give a ****

Making my deliv-eries,
police not far behind.
Put my **** on the line,
in a bid to blow your mind.

Flashing lights,
neon blue,
right upon my tail.
They're about to pull me over,
I'm about to go to jail.

( (c) P Skez 04/01/2014)
May 2014 · 1.2k
Valium
mandy rigby May 2014
Say goodnight,
with tmazi-pan.
Cos I'm dosed up,
on val- I -am.

Need one thing,
to make me dream.
A real good,
benzo diaza-pene.

Can't find this.
Can't find that.
Don't know where,
my head is at?

Lost my cash.
Lost my keys.
Can someone ******,
tell me please


Where I live.
And who I am.
Cos I'm messed up,
on val-I-am

(c) mandyrigby and P Skez 21/01/2014

— The End —