I was listening to sad songs on the way to work and crying in the grocery store before it was over
as if my heart knew before my head that you were too good to last
& it's not about how little or long I knew you or the way your lips felt against mine
time was never a deciding factor and I didn't lose sleep wishing I were kissing you
maybe it was me and my tendency to make things so much more than they are
but I always felt like I lost you before you really left

please don't use my lips to forget about hers
if my hips are thicker and legs smoother  I hope you don't find yourself craving faded memories
I won't let her scars scare me away if you promise to stay when my tears fall needlessly
and God I'd love to say we found each other easily & unscathed
but my bruises are still purple and sometimes I wonder how he is
please believe me when I say he never made me laugh the way you do and I know you only want me on your passenger side
we have loved before but never like this

the skies are blue here
laces of red & I'm reminded of you
whoever, wherever you are
I hope you are okay
I hope you are thinking of me
& I hope the skies are blue where you are, too

every morning like paradise
and heaven doesn't seem so far away with you
euphoria is your tan skin against mine
& there are one million thoughts in my mind
all connecting back to how to hold onto this moment
I know tomorrow we'll be strangers once again
please just hold me for today

he asked to undress my mind before my body
to know my 4 am thoughts before his fingers traced my hidden skin
he touches me across oceans; drowns himself in all of my layers
whispers that he wants to visit all of the worlds inside of me
slowly, for he knows the wounds are still healing
but he kisses all of your scars
and I hardly think of you at all

you were too much like the bottom of a bottle
4 am; an hour for the lonely and the searching
my head spinning and body drowning
yet somehow alive enough to dial your number
every ring another bullet in a wound
and your prerecorded voice I knew better than my own
every bit as empty as before
yet somehow I thought you’d make me whole

I swallowed your poison for the sake of passion
so you’d see the way I’d do anything to hold your gaze
eyes locked in mine for all the wrong reasons
you’d call me crazy but at least you’re saying something
tell everyone how I’m insane cause you love messing with my head
I lost my mind to all your games but God I loved to play