I haven't told you yet
But I love you
I hope you know

I see your smile
But I can't seem to find
If it's for me
Or someone else's mind

Your presence is a light upon my day
My days full of a pink and orange hue
Now that you're gone, no rose-colored sky
The days turned quite cold and blue
All I see is a little ghost of you

If you could listen
Maybe open your heart
Stay with me for a second
Never forget me when we part
A life with you is a life I'd start

I miss your hair, your smile, your eyes
Your voice ringing in my ear
I want you with me, wherever we go
Because I feel alright if you're here
I'll feel alright if you're near

You sit next to me and I black out
It's kind of unfair you do this to me
In the end, they say, love is what it's all about
There's love alright, that I can see
But together, that's something we'll never be

I would give up everything
My whole world, and myself
To spend just one night in your arms
I would give up everything
For one night, ******* with you
I would give up everything
But what that feeling does, it harms

Tomorrow is the day
Where you decide how you're gonna play
This really ****** up game
Called my emotions.

I hope you'll choose a gentle way

I miss you in my arms
I miss you in my bed
You weren't ever mine, I know
But you live rent-free in my head

I caught up with my feelings for a minute
But then I lost you

I've been laying in my bed all day
Suddenly it's dark outside
I want to get up but I really can't
Believe me, oh how I've tried

I started crying when the sun came up
Because the world wasn't so divine
My home doesn't feel so good
And my body doesn't feel like mine

I want to love you
I really want to try
But I'm numb because the sun went down
I can't manage to speak or cry

7 days it's been
since i last saw you
i haven't really written in 7 days

I've imagined falling asleep on his stupid chest
I've imagined calming down in his arms
I've imagined talking to him until I'm so tired I can't speak anymore and I've starting talking to the stars because I have no one else to tell
I've lost my sense of sleep and only ever since I've started thinking about him hugging me I've slept well
I talk to the moon. I pray to the gods. I never used to pray by myself before. Only in the classroom because I went to catholic school. I don't pray to Jesus now, though.
I'm with him constantly and he doesn't even know. I'm not sure if I want him to know, either

I thought I saw your face in the hallway today
I went and check
Nobody was there
I think it means I miss you
Please just come back

Some miracles have happened lately
I don't know what makes it happen
It makes me almost believe in the lord above
Now I'm hoping, soon, your heart will open.
Wether it's candles, spells, or crystal magic
It's brought me pain, but goodness too
I've been happier than I've been some years
Now I hope it brings me you

[14:33, 19-11-2020] did i just get my *** hurt over someone who doesn't like me? yes. yes i did
[14:56, 19-11-2020] we sat together in geography (and every other class. it's basically a rule that me, him and my best sit together every lesson) and we touched arms the whole lesson
[14:56, 19-11-2020] and we kept touching feet in math yk
[14:57, 19-11-2020] i could feel it but i couldnt look up because i was dissociating
[14:57, 19-11-2020] like they touched but we didnt move
[14:57, 19-11-2020] and i nearly sat on his lap in the break
[14:57, 19-11-2020] so anyways i crave affection and he makes me feel so genuinely happy it's disgusting
[14:58, 19-11-2020] but when he walked out of the school he just looked at me and left without saying anything or waving or sum yknow
[14:59, 19-11-2020] and like that's okay, we aren't dating or anything, but it seemed out of place
[14:59, 19-11-2020] at least today
[14:59, 19-11-2020] and he's in a different classroom in the test week so i won't see him anymore til the 30th
[14:59, 19-11-2020] that's 11 days and it makes me sad
[15:00, 19-11-2020] i might see him but i don't think so
[15:01, 19-11-2020] i feel so disgusting like why do I have to fall in love and why now with him it's terrible ****
[15:01, 19-11-2020] : i can't go a week without drama in my emotions

Under the table in math class
I feel your foot touching mine
And for the first time in a long while
I can say for 45 minutes, that I'm fine
It's times like these that make me better
Like when I'm nearly lying on your lap in the break
I know I love you, so I'll miss you
If you would run away, I hope it's me you'd take

I've said before
You're like the sea
But I forgot
I get seasick

Yesterday I stole your water bottle from your bag
You didn't notice until I gave it back
I said "You better watch your stuff."
And you said "I'm good at stealing too."
But I already know that. No need to prove
You've already got my heart. Except you don't know that

I want to lean my back against your shoulder
In the break, with all our friends
I want to subtly hold your hand while walking
Walk together til tomorrow ends
We're not the same, you know it's true
I want you to be my demolition lover
An eternity only sounds nice with you
In only 9 days your love for me will uncover

It might have been my spell jar
Or my imagination
But we've been sitting together a lot
For people who don't know eachother very well
In seats for 3
You're never further than one table away
It makes me realise I like having you close

It's kind of funny when you think we can still be friends
When you break up with me as if we met yesterday
I'm mad, oh yeah, but it's okay. You never seemed to realise when I was mad. You had too much anger yourself.
I've decided I'm not going to spend too much time worrying about you because if you break up with me over text those 14.5 months appearantly didn't mean a lot.
I thought you knew it was rude to do that. You could've written me a letter if that was better.
But honestly, I'm not suprised. After the whole fall-in-love-with-your-best-friend thing, all my friends are glad we broke up. They see it as if I broke up with you. They're mad at you, they said you didn't deserve a second chance after Pleun. It wasn't a big deal to me, but they're always right after all.
Some of them offered to stab you. I said no, but then I almost got myself stabbed. I just want you to know that I don't need you to fight for me. I've been fighting for myself the past 15 months and I've been doing just fine.
You don't need to be nice to me either. I don't know if you try to, or if you just are because you're forced. Either way, it's pointless.
I've fallen in love with this guy in my class. It's extremely pathetic, though I already liked him before you left me. He's 4 inches taller than me, completely stupid and cute. He's not mine yet, but I'm putting the emphasis on yet. I've written more poetry about him in the past week than I have about you in the past 5 months. I guess that explains a lot.
There's a lot of things I'd tell you, but none of them really apply to this situation.
I've tried to ignore you because conversation would probably make this worse. Like when you texted me on my birthday. After all, I forgot yours.
I hope you're happy with Pleun. You two looked like a perfect couple at play rehearsal. I don't know if it was to make me jealous, but he seems right for you.
Good luck with the rest of your life, I think. We'll cross paths at play rehearsal and in the hallways, but next year you'll go off to some college and I'll never see you again. I think my family's glad too.
So anyways, if there's still something you wanna say to me, you can say it to my face. Don't worry about my friends being there, they didn't like you very much anyways.

A friendship unspoken
Never mentioned, but reliable
Her presence is relieving
Makes love more imaginable
I don't tell her I love her
I don't think she'd tell me too
But she'll be there if all was gone
When all the birds flew

It's okay (to punch nazis) - Cheap Perfume

Our fear has made us gullible
A bully rose to take control
And now they're yelling "off with their heads!"
We've been through this, we ended it
Or so we thought, it had been fought
It's like an army back from the dead

The racists got a PR firm
Hired men in fancy shirts
But have the same ideology
We've had to say a lot of stuff we thought was ******* obvious like
YES ITS OKAY TO PUNCH NAZIS

Never thought that it would happen but now look where we are
We'd rather have a ****** than a woman in power
When we got complacent in defending our rights
The nazis changed their names and they're called the alt right

Death to white supremacists
Like Milo Yiannopoulos
Homophobes and hatred they spread
Let's get intersectional
Basic human rights for all
We won't stop till fascism's dead

Terrorize the red pill plague
Poison all the KKK
And **** on your ideology
We've had to say a lot of stuff we thought was ******* obvious like
YES IT'S OKAY TO PUNCH NAZIS

Never thought that it would happen but now look where we are
We'd rather have a ****** than a woman in power
When we got complacent in defending our rights
The nazis changed their names and they're called the alt right

Never thought that it would happen but now look where we are
We'd rather have a ****** than a woman in power
When we got complacent in defending our rights
The nazis changed their names and they're called the alt right

Never thought that it would happen but now look where we are
We'd rather have a ****** than a woman in power
When we got complacent in defending our rights
The nazis changed their names and they're called the alt right

Cemetery drive - My Chemical Romance

This night, walk the dead in a solitary style
And crash the cemetery gates
In the dress your husband hates
Way down, mark the grave
Where the search lights find us
Drinking by the mausoleum door
And they found you on the bathroom floor
I miss you
I miss you, so far
And the collision of your kiss
That made it so hard
Back home, off the run
Singing songs that make you slit your wrists
It isn't that much fun?
Staring down a loaded gun
So I won't stop dying, won't stop lying
If you want, I'll keep on crying
Did you get what you deserve?
Is this what you always want me for?
I miss you
I miss you, so far
And the collision of your kiss
That made it so hard
Way down, way down
Way down, way down
Way down, way down
Way down, way down
I miss you
I miss you, so far
And the collision of your kiss
That made it so hard
When will I miss you?
When will I miss you so far?
And the collision of your kiss
That made it so hard
That made it so hard
Way down, way down
Way down, way down
Way down, way down
Way down, way down

Waking up with a kiss on my neck from you would be nice.
Problem is, I'll never wake up next to you, so the kiss is not an option.

I can finally listen to Bohemian Rhapsody without crying again, so I suppose you're not very mad at me anymore. You even waved, but maybe that didn't mean much. You're always polite.

Our worlds wouldn't work together
They would collide and collapse
I'm too desperate to make it work
I've been here before, in this relapse
I might be desperate, too desperate
You're all I want to know
I need you to love me back
Wherever you are, is where I'll go

I want you to grab my shoulders and push me against the closet door when I get bratty. I want you to tell me that I belong to you and make me regret that I ever doubted that. I want you to make me regret ever speaking to you. I want you to tie me up to the bed so I can't moce, and I want you to use me how you want, until I can't stand anymore. I want you to choke me until my neck's red and purple.
I just really need you here with me

Call me yours in front of your friends
Call me yours in my ear
Call me yours on the streets
Call me yours in our sheets
                          Just call me anyways
                          I miss you

Drag me down
Hold me up
Pin me down
Tie me up
Get on top
Take control of me
Blindfold me
So I can't see
Choke me well
Til I see blue
Make me gag
I need you
To drag me down
And hold me up
To pin me down
And tie me up

Sometimes the world is ugly
Sometimes it's quite alright
I feel the sun shine on my skin at day
And watch the moon through my window at night
They keep the world going around
Through both pretty and ugly times
And make the world so much more beautiful
In times when I'm with you

A long stone road
Leads past sceneries
Past willows and lakes
Past rivers and bridges
And it's not poetic
But it's pretty

She walks through the hallway
I give her a smile
Our ways are parted most times
In this world so judgemental and vile
I carry a little secret with me
It might not be of great importance
But that she trusts me means a lot, you see?
Because trusting isn't easy in this world

You're not the prettiest,
Or the handsomest,
Whichever you prefer.
But you have a face
I can stare at.
I could look at you for hours,
Without getting bored

Your head hits the pillow
Your body first, then mine
I can't see you very clearly
But I know you are divine
My lips touch your collarbones
Your stomach and your neck
My tongue guiding yours
I'll make you arch your back
When I do down on you
Softly, slowly going down
You tug the strands of my hair
I'll go down with so much vigour
Our relationship is 50/50
That's how it's always been with you
I moan your name into your ear
You tell me who you belong to

I hit my head against the pillow
Your body following mine
My eyes are closed, I can't see you clearly
But I know you look divine
I feel your soft lips touch my collarbones
My stomach and my neck
Your tongue guiding mine
You make me arch my back
When you go down on me
Softly, slowly going down
I tug on the strands of your hair
You go down with so much vigour
Our relationship is 50/50
Like how it's always been with you
You moan my name into my ear
And I tell you who I belong to

Achilles Come Down - Gang of youths

Achilles
Achilles
Achilles come down, won't you
Get up off
Get up off the roof?

You're scaring us
And all of us
Some of us love you
Achilles, it's not much but there's proof

You crazy assed cosmonaut
Remember your virtue
Redemption lies plainly in truth

Just humour us
Achilles
Achilles come down
Won't you get up off
Get up off the roof

Achilles
Achilles
Achilles come down, won't you
Get up off
Get up off the roof?

The self is not so weightless
Nor whole and unbroken
Remember the pact of our youth

Where you go
I'm going
So jump and I'm jumping
Since there is no me without you

Soldier on
Achilles
Achilles come down
Won't you get up off
Get up off the roof?

Loathe the way they light candles in Rome
But love the sweet air of the votives
Hurt and grieve but don't suffer alone
Engage with the pain as a motive

Today of all days
See

How the most dangerous thing is to love
How you will heal and you'll rise above

Achilles
Achilles
Achilles
Jump now
You are absent of cause
Or excuse

So self-indulgent
And self-referential
No audience could ever want you

You crave the applause
Yet hate the attention
Then miss it, your act is a ruse

It is empty, Achilles
So end it all now
It's a pointless resistance
For you

Achilles
Achilles
Just put down the bottle
Don't listen to what you've consumed

It's chaos, confusion
And wholly unworthy
Of feeding and it's wholly untrue

You may feel no purpose
Nor a point for existing
It's all just conjecture and gloom

And there may not be meaning
So find one and seize it
Do not waste your self on this roof

Hear those bells ring deep in the soul
Chiming away for a moment
Feel your breath course frankly below
See life as a worthy opponent

Today of all days
See

How the most dangerous thing is to love
How you will heal and you'll rise above
Crowned by an overture bold and beyond
Ah, it's more courageous to overcome

You want the acclaim
The mother of mothers (it's not worth it Achilles)
More poignant than fame
Or the taste of another (don't listen Achilles)
But be real and just jump
You dense ******* (you're worth more, Achilles)
You will not be more
Than a rat in the gutter (so much more than a rat)
You want my opinion (no one asked your opinion)
My opinion you've got
You asked for my counsel (no one asked for your thoughts)
I gave you my thoughts
Be done with this now
And jump off the roof
Can you hear me Achilles?
I'm talking to you

I'm talking to you
I'm talking to you
I'm talking to you
Achilles come down
Achilles come down

Throw yourself into the unknown
With pace and a fury defiant
Clothe yourself in beauty untold
And see life as a means to a triumph
Today of all days
See

How the most dangerous thing is to love
How you will heal and you'll rise above
Crowned by an overture bold and beyond
Ah, it's more courageous to overcome

Might get stabbed today
But it's okay

I don't know if I like you
But I do know that I care
I'm not sure if I love you
But I know I want you there
I need you to stay with me
Preferably, hold me close
I don't want to let you go
I've got such a little part of you
Please don't make me lose it

I've imagined laying on your chest
Quite a lot actually, I must say
But it's only happened in my mind so far
But if you want, it could be real any day

I have trouble telling the truth
Like how much I want to take your hand
Or how all the poetry I let you read is about you
I've tried to tell you but I can't

It's kinda pathetic
That you're stuck in my head all day
I've tried to get you out, I have
But if it worked, I can't say

I'm stuck writing ****** poetry
It's become my way of coping
I know you'll never love me back
But I'm still softly praying and hoping

Do you hear the people sing?
A song of anarchy and rhyme

Do you see the people stand?
Fight for their rights, every time

Do you see them wave the flags?
The red and black they hold up so proudly

Do you see them stand so tall?
Speaking up, and singing loudly?