whether it be your
local shop
or the park across the road,
a nightclub
or a library, or
the school where
your children go

we're here

the bathroom,
the classroom,
the living room and kitchen,
marching downtown
with a rainbow parade
or hidden
in the closet

we're here

we've been here
forever
did you know that
ancient Greece
was a homonormative society?
we've been alive,
just trying to live our lives

we're here

no less human,
no less susceptible
to hurt or pain
or love;
we love in bright, bright colours
and we love freely
never bound by binaries or convention

we're here

you'll never be rid of us
as we are not
a disease
to be cured.
all we want to do
is be as free to love
as you.

we're here

we aren't going anywhere

Neither Nightingale or Crow
Neither Whippoorwill or Sparrow
Perched on phone lines, never trees
Still those birds have the right to sing.

Target of bad boys’ B B Guns
Splashed with water canons
They fly til they can fly no more
And tremble in the shadows.

Their feathers have a bit of shine
When sunbeams fall just right
But all too often that just makes
Them that much easier to find

And targets them for hatred rocks
Thrown by those who only
Recognize a Woodpecker
And a Robin Red Breast.

Too bad their music goes unheard
Most often it is beautiful
If they could sing with the other birds
The music would become symphonic.
                 ljm

the best of men,
I know he is not.
the worst of men?
not that, either
somewhere in between
a little closer to
good
than bad
no matter how many times
he might
toe the line

you've met me.
you know me.
you've seen firsthand
how wrong
I can be.
not in sense,
not in academics,
nor even in instinct
but in morality.
you know that
he is just
a darker shade
of me.

I know that he
self-destructs and
everyone around him
is the collateral damage.
I don't think that you know this.
I know him
better than you do.
your world is
more black and white
than mine;
I see in shades of grey
and colours
a childhood of red and
purple, and
he did too.

what you see as
malice
I know to be
self-hatred.
I understand him
in a way that you cannot.
our hand grenades
are glued
to our palms;
it doesn't take much
to set them off.
do you know what it's like
to be a ticking time bomb?
I do, he does.

I don't excuse him.
please don't think me
blind,
I see perfectly well
when it comes to
matters of the
heart
and the mind.
but for now,
just for now,
when I'm with him
I am living.
he makes me feel alive.
so for now
just for now
I'd like to live one last time.

do you feel that?
the crescendo of emotion?
the crest of a wave
of inexplicable
something
that just drowns you?

do you feel it?
the weight of your own
existence?
this inexplicable urge
to lie down
and cry gently
for no reason at all?

do you feel
what i'm feeling?
an appreciation for life
whilst
hating being alive?
falling in love
with the universe
and out of love
with yourself?

do you feel that?
are you drowning in
existentialism?
does your chest
feel like it's
imploding?
are your lungs too big
for your rib cage?

do you feel it?
do you feel
what i'm feeling?
do you even feel
​​​​​​​at all?

i felt it
right up in my feet
from the floor above
when you
slammed that door

i felt it
rattle my ribs and
shake my bones and
rattle me
to the core

i felt it
in my chest when
you said you were leaving
and i think
i got internal bleeding

i felt it
who am i talking about?
i felt it
what am i talking about?
i felt it
who are you?

i felt it
when i lost any
sense of who you
are and
what you mean
to me

i felt it
when you ruined us
and i felt it when
you touched
my soul
just to rip it apart

just this
this is all i need
just this

orchestral symphony
my quiet solitude
cup of coffee

just this
none of that
just this

i don't
need you or
anyone else

just this
this is all i need
​​​​​​​just this

these ribs creak
like old stairs,
wooden floorboards splintered;
tread carefully
so no one knows
you're there

the ladder of my ribs
has been climbed
one too many times,
I only wish
they were as
sturdy as metal

careful, now, darling
you're pushing too hard.
a collapse could
be fatal
and I've got
too much pain
in my heart
to bleed out into the world.

there's cracks
in the concrete
and they look like
the x-ray
I had when
I was thirteen. I think
this pavement took more pressure

than my ribs
ever did.
hush, now, I know
you're scared.
so am I.
tread carefully, don't
push too hard
and maybe
you'll slip between the cracks

without causing
further damage.
I'll carve a space
for you
between my lungs;
I'll tuck you inside
and you can
call me home.

please
don't shatter
the slats.
this room looks
better in the dark
where shadows
can hide the scars.
blanket this
vulnerability, dear.
I'm not ready to
fall apart
again,