There is this girl
Who appears out of nowhere

She looks at me
She smiles at me

A look that cuts straight to my core
Waking up my veins, my body, my soul

A smile that pierces through my heart
like a billion of Cupid’s arrows

On top of the other, one right on the top of the other
Then another on top of the other, arrow after arrow

Straight..
Into..
My soul

Straight..
Into..
My heart

And this is the part of the dream
Where most girls will grab your hand

Where most girls will embrace you
Kiss you, saves you

But this girl isn’t the same
Isn’t the same with most girls

This girl didn’t save me
This girl holds my hand

She smiles again
And asked “are you ready?”

And finally I am
I am ready

She didn’t save me, together we fall
No, we didn’t fall, we jumped

And this is the part of the dream where
as we were falling into each other

I woke up, I woke up
Too bad I woke up

It could be perfect, this girl
But it was just a dream

This girl..
Just a dream..

I followed the marks of your tears
Until I reached a door of the unknown
I have to overcome my fears
To see someone like my own
Who has demons as peers
Buried in ones deepest dungeon

You wanted an escape
And I was about to run away
You are not a man who wears a cape
And I just want somebody who would stay
Even when I’m not in my perfect shape
And someone who will not sway

Amidst the battle, you hold my hand
The demons we could not fight
So together we make a stand
So much better when someone is on your side
Let us make an unbreakable bond
And in each other’s arm let us hide

And this is how I found you
In my way to break free
Myself, I see in you
So we helped each other flee
In darkness, I will hold you
And one day, through it a flare we will see

this is not a poem
but a declaration
of defeat, a concession
the things i can’t change
the feelings i can’t make
as i comeback to this world
i’m not even whole, not even healed
from whatever diagnosis
from whatever disease
that sicks this life
that plunges the heart and mind
i swallowed pills, the happy ones
i even injected acceptance
i’m not even sure if it will lead to healing
or just a temporary silencing
of the chaos, of the storm
that lives within my soul
but whatever it might be
wherever it might take me
i now understand that not all lost battle is a defeat
and not all who concede are weak
and now is my turn, ohhh
i concede to this beautiful life

~
Un-lonely nights
Romantic moments
The love, the love
What about them?
Throw it all away
The perfect dates
The sweetest kisses
The love, the love
What about them?
Throw it all away

song by Typecast..
~


I heard that song from the radio
I wrote down the lyrics, and sent to you
You just laughed at me
You threw away the letter,
Just like how you threw away our forever

Nights are now lonely
Romantic moments into daily fights
Dates, conversation, all coldly
No more random kisses at night

I asked you what and where did I lacked
You told me none, instead
You told me I was too much
I always knew that too much of everything
is not good, but what can I do?
That's how much I loved you

Will you throw it all away,
Will you throw it all away??
All we've been through
All my love for you,
All my love for you??

Time is an insult
Primogenitor of death
The ultimate thief

For my love, has left me
Traveled to another country, far away from me
Over the trees and mountains
Green fields and forest fountains
Over the blue seas and vast oceans
He left me, lost in my emotions


We both see the horizon
But in different time zone
We both see the sun shine
But in different time
We both see the same night stars
But we are, from each other, too far


I respect your plan
But please include me, oh man
I stayed up all night, with you on the other side
The distance, we are both terrified


At first, we managed to make it
In the mold, we try to fit
But the timezone, is taking you away from me
The longing, I can't stand, can't you see?


It is day time where you are
You sit on sunshine, the flowers bloom
While I have my night in a country so far
with nightmares and gloom


Two hearts that used to be one
Ended up living in a separate land
While you stare at tomorrow
I lay here in yesterday
Why do you have to go,
And left me full of woe?


The timezone, is taking you away from me
The longing, I can't stand, can't you see?

Tinanong kita
Kung ako'y mahal pa
Ika'y nanahimik
Ako'y di umimik
Hindi na kailangan magsalita
Sagot mo'y alam na

Kasabay ng iyong pagkawala
Mga luha ay kumawala
Wala na bang magagawa?
Tayo ba ay talagang tapos na?

Working M to F
Studying during Sat and Sun
Starting to feel tired

Waking up is always a burden to her
For she never wanted the life she is living now
They say that life has so many choices to offer
But she was left with only one choice
-to accept what was left to her

Dreaming is supposed to be free,
But now, it became a luxury
Only for those who can afford it
And those who can't, it's a fantasy
-illusion, delusional

Ridicule me, laugh at me, tease me, bully me
It will be your last chance
Call me simpleton, call me poor, call me ugly
It will be your last chance
You won't be able to do it again

She had finally decided to end it all
She was just waiting for a cue to start the fall
And that day, wandering around the city
A signboard caught her attention

Today's Advice: HANG IN THERE ;)
A faint smile then crosses her lips
It was the cue she was waiting for

Later that night
Literally, she followed the advice
The only witness is the moon
*She hangs herself in her room

"I was always ashamed to take. So I gave. It was not a virtue. It was a disguise"
~Anais Nin*


Some give
because they wanted to be recognize
and to be called kind

Some give
because they have a hidden agenda
and will use you in their propaganda

Some give
so that soon
they have something to take

counting sunrise and
sunset, until tomorrow
finally brings you

We may have crossed the same paths and walked on the same parks. We may have eaten on the same restaurants or probably have used the same coffee cups

There might even a moment that we’re on the same place or maybe some million worlds apart. And probably I have sat behind you on a bus, but we don’t even know each other yet

And maybe, at some point of our lives, you were so happily in love with your partner. While I am crying over a spilled milk and my messed up life. And you, living a life full of laughter

To my future love, I wanted to tell you so many things. But for now, let us bide one’s time

Let us make the most of this moment, make mistakes and learn from it. Let us love and get hurt so by the time we meet, we are mature enough to handle our relationship

My future love, I am on my way. I may be a bit late, but please be patient. I waited for you for like a lifetime, promise you, I’ll be there on the right time

Until then, please think of me and I’ll dream of you. And one day, the stars will align to spell out our names. Our hearts will beat in synchrony and finally we will realize we have known each other all along

Someone has stopped writing our love story
Are we too happy to be punished like this?

oh darling,
your words are too sweet
they rot your teeth
poisoning every kiss
you plant on my lips

torment

knowing that i’ll never see it again
remembering your smile
has become a torment in my heart

twinkle

twinkle twinkle pretty eyes
stop whining crying every night
you don’t deserve his useless lies
you should see he’s not right

twinkle twinkle pretty eyes
i wish to see you finally smile
twinkle twinkle beautiful eyes
oh how i wish you are mine

Your smile is free
But never undervalued

When she answered I am fine
Her voice cracked
But no one noticed
When she said I am okay
She faked a smile
But no one noticed
When she told you I can do this
You didn't noticed
The tears she tried to hide

Is she that good at pretending
Or does anyone really cares?

Instead of sending, I burnt all the letters I have written for you
Thinking that what I wrote there will turn into ashes too
Wishing that my feelings will disappear into the scorching flame
But the fire betrays me, as the letters are burning, I am burning too
It becomes worse and it only doubles the pain
How can I burn those memories without burning myself too?

Mangangarap hanggang sa pagbalik
Mangangarap pa rin kahit masakit


weary heart, tired of waiting
this heart of mine, of rest is deserving


it’s possible, isn’t it, that the heart may have rest
but these feelings won’t


so until i can, i will


i will wish, i will dream
until you finally come back to me
i will wish, i will dream
even if it hurts..

How dare you to comeback just when I decided to forget you?

Familiar eyes staring at him
Instantly she was gone with the crowd
Haunted by her melancholic gaze
Like an animal, followed her scent from miles

He ended up in a small ice cream parlor
Dug dug dug dug dug dug dug
His heart singing a song of nervousness
He’s just 2 feet away from her

----------
Four years ago, a boy met a girl..

“Two vanilla ice cream in the largest cone please”
The boy is in queue after her
Out of nowhere stars will light up the room
Only for the two of them

“Vanilla ice cream is my favorite”
“Good, I hate it” he answered back

And the conversation continued
Inside and outside the ice cream parlor
They just clicked for each other
They just..

It became their new favorite place
He started to love vanilla ice cream too
No need to state the obvious
Their eyes spoke of affection and love

----------
He ended up in a small ice cream parlor
Dug dug dug dug dug dug dug
His heart singing a song of nervousness
He’s just 2 feet away from her

----------
It was the place where they first met
Where they first talked
Where they realized they like each
Where they confessed their feelings
Where their love turned as sweet as a vanilla ice cream

Two years ago when he last visited that place
Two years ago when he last tasted vanilla ice cream
Two years ago when he last saw her
Two years ago when they broke up
They ended in the same place where they have started

----------
Sweating despite the cold weather
Tongue seems to be tied
Palpitating heart, butterflies in his stomach
But it wasn’t her, it will never be her
Because she was gone, she was gone

----------
He wakes up from the bittersweet dream
It was just a dream, a dream, a dream
A beautiful yet a sad dream that will haunt him forever
And then he remembers, it is her 2nd death anniversary today

And instead of flowers,
Vanilla ice cream is what he brings on her graveyard

I wish I am her
I wish I can hold you again
I wish I can touch you again
I wish I can kiss your lips again
I wish I can taste your mouth again

I wish I am her
I wish the stares are for me
I wish the flowers are for me
I wish the letters are for me
I wish the "i love you's" are for me

But darling, I know
When we're together
You wished that she was me
You wished that I was her

You shouldn’t be there
At the back of my mind
You shouldn’t be
My morning and waking hour thoughts
You shouldn’t be
my 11:11 mantra
You shouldn’t be
my wish upon a shooting star
You shouldn’t be there
It’s very unconventional
You should be here, right here
Right beside me, here in my arms

Adorable face
Within, lies a vicious trait
Be keen, don't be faked

your love, violent
causing scars, bruises and wounds
all over my heart

Violet

these violets are for you
to cover violet bruises he caused you
these violets are blue
not the color of kick he left you
these violets are true
not like him, untrue
these violets are flowers
not the color of violence
so please, these flowers are for you
you deserve love not abuse

Pangako
Napako

Ngiti
Naging ngiwi

Luha
Tulala

Tayo
Naglaho


Wala
Wala ng tayo.

Her eyes are a metaphor,
   a conceit, fantasy

No shakespearean sonnet
   even a lyric, will suffice
   to describe the elegance she carries

Her smile, the greatest curve,
   all simile will be denied

Haikus and couplets
   even the long ones
   will not be enough

Her laughter is a song,
   a perfect harmony and melody

She is neither a hyperbole
   nor full of irony
   instead she is perfect rhyme

She is a walking poetry
   a personification of aesthetics

Almost an abstract
   unfathomable beauty
   out of the ordinary

a woman named Tomorrow
sits in the future
takes her time
as she awaits for her love
named Yesterday
little did she know that
Yesterday is gone
little did she know that
Yesterday is past
little did she know that
what is past... is gone...

.
its clearness is vague
i can’t figure the water
if shallow or deep
.
.

41 Way away
if i sail way away away
from this world
to the end of every oceans
and galaxies and infinities
will you follow me knowing
that i am still complete
with or without you?

They keep asking me
Speechless
I pretended, searching for an answer
How could I tell them?

I was just lost all those years

You keep on hiding the pain
When all I wanted to do is break the chain
You keep on covering the tears
When all I wanted to do is embrace your fears
You keep on saying goodbye
When I know it’s just a lie
Why do you keep on pushing me away
When all I wanted to do is stay?

if i need to hurt myself
just to keep you
just to be with you
then, why not?

She writes about sadness
to console herself
to find another who can relate

She writes about peace
to feel it even just by ink
to feel tranquility amidst adversity

She writes about love
because she's in love
and she fell out of love

She writes about bitterness
because she lacks in sweetness
and her life is a mess

She writes about hope
asking what it is
wishing there really is

She writes about lust
to experience the pleasure
of pleasuring herself

She writes,
to surpass the limitations of her understanding
to fake reality
to cover lies
to correct mistakes
to lessen the pain
to share the burden

She writes,
To expose her soul
She writes,
To fool herself

i lost to lust
and let it win
now i feed myself
between your legs
hell indulgence
tastes like heaven
let it consume me
until i’m done

Wish

i asked the genie
if i could get a five wish
instead of three
“my lady, the more the wish,
the more you greed,
so now let me grant your wishes”
and so I told the mighty genie
“don’t let him forget me”
“don’t let him forget me”
“don’t let him forget me”
that’s it, now tell me if it’s greed

---
I do not fit
I do not belong
They could not get my wit
It's the right kind of wrong

I do not fit
I do not belong
They could not get my wit
It was the right kind of wrong

Call me pretty
Call me silly
Adore me
Glorify me

Hug me
Hold me
Keep me
Love me

Write me
Make love to me
Write me more
Undress me
Undress me with your words

Call me lovely
Call me ****
Worship me
Cherish me

Kiss me
Lick me
**** me
Melt me

Write me
Make love to me
Write me more
Undress me
Undress me with your words