i am one day c l o s e r
to meeting you.

my hands have never moved
along the
l  e  n  g  t  h  (of his)
spine and i
don't know what it is to be kissed.

i don't dance in his arms
or write him letters with my lips  
we don't sit in heart-pounding silence
our tangled feet, tangled together.

i love him,
but i don't know who he is
(and i)
have never
been in l o v e.

"powerful weapon"
   she called me.
i nodded
again and
again, until
          i was off
                            to
                                    sleep.

my hair is still wet
  from when i slept
(in) your arms
the night you let the bath run

freckle lined and hued with pink
angled gently in a curved facade
red, curled and pillowed
over her face and around
her ear.
coppered brown flick her
eye and eye and eye
trickle down, find
the bridge and there
***** of inhalation.
the arch of hair
lead over her forehead
blank in between
pointing downward to end
at the tip of her lip.
a lip turned coral
by the line of blood
traveled continually
hill to hill to hill.
her ear linked to the
gentle flaked cover
of her body.
word after word
floating from her throat
murmured into heartache
of an adrift lover.
marking her cheek up
and down
placed darkly
and with magic.

maybe i wasn't meant to be a poet.

           even my wrong,
        doesn't have the beauty to be right.

when i'm bored
i look at the raised
white lines tracked across
my arms and imagine
tearing them open
letting the heat gather at the base
of my throat (and)
the red stain my bones.

should i let them be scars
and pretend i'm not still ******
and open ?
besides, i miss the pain.

i never believed the stories about the butterflies, until my belly swarmed with them.

it's been ages since i've felt like this.
he makes me laugh, and i can feel every quart of my blood rush and pound through me. my heart feels like it's losing its balance and falling to my toes, lighting every part of me on fire on the way down.
i am like a dandelion in a rainstorm, my seeds ready to be torn and thrown to places i will never find. i want to stop everything, pause the world and yell into the silence.
i need to talk myself out of this. i need to tell myself that there's nothing for me here and all i could be is hurt.
it's a maddening thing, to have yourself completely pulled apart by a single human. tell me how to put myself back together.