There is a world all of my own
I make the rules
It is my home
There is a world
Where nothing has changed
Only myself
There is no cage
I am never alone
Or feel that I have no one
There is comfort that remains constant
I am sure and true
Just and swift
This is the world where I am a gift

But here in this world
I feel like a burden
Nobody to go to
They always draw the curtain
I am a child without a mother
In this world
I am always unfurled
Undone
Unmissed

Out there where the other world is
It misses my name
That's where life is

So I stare in the distance
Of this windowless room
Nothing to distract me
From this world of gloom
How can one live?
Must I seek escape?
Negativity kills me
Hope is a little candle
That I must use

Pray that I arrive
Safe and whole
As I journey on
Toward that place
I am alone now
But not very long
There is a way
To belong

Sometimes I think I can live on my own
I'll surely miss your presence
Even though I journey home

Home is where your feet take you
You have to become your direction
You take the road and the rowing boat follows
You have to make it so that you are alive at the end

There are lives I haven't remembered
Memories that are like caged birds
Freckles on skin to give recollection of a sun
I have bathed in when I was once young
The moment I find the gold in the pan of dirt
My simplicity is gone
Trays of tea and food only make me want more
Servants are steadily changing
As I get older
Where does youth go as I age?
Who does my brother become?
Is my sister still around?
There is a starting point after 10 years
Before I know it I'm 30 years old
Without a child or husband
Without a home or car
Still living in my dad's house
How do I move on?

Hi, I'm sorry
That I can't be more
Hi, I'm pretty sure you're more
I'm not so simple
I'm not so grand
I'm never going to stand
I just feel like
I have been pushed around
On my wheelchair
Called medicine
I haven't had much to wear
But the same skirt
Since I had revisions
So take my little strappy dress
And sandals that go with it
And place it on your bed to rest
Towards where I feel
The betterness

I'm not tired
There is time
For friendship and love
To coexist
In this sphere
Where the last thing you say is
"Take care"
Every night
With consistency and feeling
Waiting for the right moment
When there will be no more waiting
There is a dream in my heart
That I didn't realise existed
When the truth became my priority
And hearing my real voice
Without pretensions
And hearing laughter
As acceptance, not condescension
Hopeful creatures that we are
There is a place for love
And friendship
There are no real endings
Only wonder
And excitement

You will never be old inside if your heart is in that space
Where he feels he is crushed by the weight of affection
When attention is the affection that it so seeks
May it yearn you more in warmth
Rather than winter
Give me summers where we can both be children again in the hot moonlight
I think it's not so bad how you have grown up
But if you could suffer me a bit of scorn
I would surely run in circles
Making a dance out of our rapor

How are you really?
Are you happy?
Are you sad?
Maybe you're actually fighting something

The moment I saw my father
He was momentarily stupified
He saw all the interruptions
And he realized that it just wasn't worth it
It was mostly a big wait for nothing
It went by so fast

.All the little children are scattered around
The world is a playground
Helping themselves to all its resources
Not thinking about the consequences
It's playtime in the house
Nap time after snack time
Then when we are satisfied
It will all be enough
It is only enough when we are full
But the flesh is designed to be hungry
After the first meal comes the second
Until we are unto our 59,130th
Helpless children grow
Into devouring producers
Help yourselves to my plate of cheese
Then it will be enough till the next

The **** thing is that
I can't feel sadness
In all it's glory
Because of my medication
The **** thing is that
That's how my family wants it
The **** thing is that
I want to feel sad
Because that's the only way
I can feel you were alive
Now I try to get you to love me again
From the grave
I know it's crazy
But it's good for me
I know
Because it feels right
Making a dead person happy
It's braces for the soul
So it can have an unnaturally beautiful smile

Taking the bus to work
Beside the most tense man
Telling myself to look out the rainy window
And focus on my future
Ordering my mind to become what it should become

Independence Day happened a day before
The rain affects nothing in my country
Always a smile or a laughing worker
In a bright tie dyed tshirt
Underneath the gray colored sky
He brightens the world around him
That is the way the day is made
By your mere existence
Selecting your emotions
Carefully dancing your smiles
My tea in my hands
Warms me
My countrymen
Warms my heart
Lowering my head into a nodding rest
I smile as I wake

I'm not the same as before
I might choose war
I might choose fads
I might choose fortune
I could choose hell

I've figured it out
The meaning
Life tries to beat us down
Until we have nothing left to feel
Until all sensations are plastic mimicry of what we recall it meant to be happy
There are moments when I'm beckoned toward something beautiful
Authenticity is pain
Pain is bad
Love sometimes feels like pain
Is love bad?
No.
We know it isn't
Love is painful because it's a gamble
The loss can be huge
Then we never want to feel the loss again
As I was saying
I've figured it out
The meaning
Life

I'm not saying I don't think of you
I don't need to hear what you think of me
You've told me countless times how much you like me
But I'm just not buying it

How am I to discover to you
That I'm just not the girl for you
Because if I reveal to you
That I'm not into you
Then I'd be hurting your feelings

I'm not just some girl
I'm just not THE girl
Let me translate that for myself:
You're not just some guy
You're just not THE guy

Many times, I have pondered
Whether or not marriage is for me
Upon dating you once
I can say
I still am wondering

So that's me
I want to be somebody
I don't want to be somebody to you

Asking you to kiss me in your car
Wasn't a confession of admiration
I have a lot of walls up
That makes my confession a riddle
Easy to solve but beneath it is the truth

I have something I need confess
I'm a mess
Still, the fact that I'm an insecure mess doesn't mean I need reassurance that I'm not one
I don't need to hear that you like me
I don't need to kiss you and I don't need to let you know that I don't need a man
Take this like a man

I'm not into you

A girl in indecent clothes passes a group of men
They don't know what to do but be lewd
The girl who must play it cool
Because she's not safe if she is "rude"

Your eyes staring at a part that is not yours but hers
Is controlling the way I spend my money and thoughts
Should we dress the way you think we should?
For a woman who embraces herself
Why must she be contained in a vacuum seal?

I am not sure what the world expects
But in reality
I should't need to know

Half of you think, "She's asking for it"
Well, what is it the skirt asks for?
Is it something good to her?
Or is it like taking drugs?
Sickos

If you expect me to like myself after your amazing lapping tongue performance
Then you have no comprehension skills
Comprehend me, walking fast and away
Comprehend me giving you the finger
Comprehend my mocking laughter
Consider how little you comprehend
Consider being smarter, and more kind
So I could feel you as a loving, inoffensive person

MAN
Staying indoors
Me wanting you on all fours on your floor
Miss the intensity that comes with waiting
Your heat is emanating from a safe distance
This is what it's like waiting to be set free
Craving what is unavailable

WOMAN
I like the wholesomeness of you
It make me think maybe there's some hope in the world
I haven't tried on your gentleness yet
Something about you
Says some humans are alright
Craving what might be available

No
You don’t have to wonder who you are
Why wonder when youre already strong
Why wonder when youre already sure
Why look elsewhere to know who you are
Your reflection may inform others of how you look
A picture of you wearing something neat
Although your screams inside cant be heard
The strength in your voice is what shook the world
When you have a volume **** to turn up
Make sure you turn it up to loud
Because loud makes mistakes
And let’s everyone know
Who you are
Is who you show
Matter of fact
You don’t have a choice
Lesson is youre nobody’s voice
Let it be said when you was aborned
You’re lungs filled with air and you said
“Here I am”

I love the smile on your face
as you tell me you’re okay
in words that aren't saying that at all
This is not meant to be tender
But I love that you think so
See, that the parts that I love about you
Keeps me from saying I do
Love you, I mean
So when I’m trying to be brave
Please save me instead.

We all need alone time
To read books that matter to us
Alone time, in order to make things that don't matter
Solitude at a certain time of day when we need to say
"Hello, me. Talk to me. What has been going through my mind these days? Tell me all about it, and let's work it out."
It's never easy
It's always tough
Sometime in a future, that may not exist, I may learn to live through the plough
To steady myself when the Earth's core rocks
To become One with Energy
To have the insight of a young Dalai Lama
I am never 12 anymore I am only older
I get bigger than those I want to converse with
So I crouch myself down to their level
To see the world through their eyes
It's a wonderful world down here

Tomorrow you can feast again
It will be a celebration of celebrations
It will have every famous celebrity
It was be an abundance of wine
It will be very joyous
Free
It will be very happy
Because you deserve to be happy
Very happy

Do I make a connection without the internet?
How do i even take a break from the internet?
I'm pretty much glued to the internet
It's hard being around the internet
I don't like myself with the internet
I think we should start seeing other people, Internet
But everyone is with the Internet
Who am I with without the internet?

The end of the road is filled with good intentions
Here is my poem
My father was an alcoholic
He drank isopropyl in order to stay clean
He made sure that even when he had bad days
He would make it even better
Then he forgot to wash his hands
So he drank a whole bottle instead
He makes sure that he does this in order to forget

Just as black men were slaves
So am I a common slave of poverty
And to rise out of slavery
We must struggle towards prosperity
To exert our bodies and minds
Toward the glory of freedom
We, Filipinos do not realize that
That we are chained to ideas of a caged intellect
It is not easy to forge a key that will fit into the lock
It takes skill and acumen and practice
And we must attempt every single waking moment
Once we see the light
I don't know
And yet
I do

I like to be funny
For those who are sad
And I like being tasty
To those who are hungry
And I like being *****
For those who are lonely
And I like being sweet
To those who are sour
And I like being dead
To those who want to **** me
And I want to be alive
To those who want to fill me
To those who want to feel me
I like being felt
I like being used in any way
You need me
So I'll let myself feel pain
If you want to hurt me
As long as you know me
I'll know you too

I write
I keep my mouth shut tight
I don't say a word
I write
For the heart that cannot speak
For my knees that go weak
For the dance I cannot play out
For the music in my heart
I write
Because I cannot bail myself out of this body
Writing sets me free
Writing let's me be me
When I put my brain to work
When my hands type away acres
When I feel I fill another notebook
I pick up the emotion of this world
I cannot even understand how I write
Then everything is understood
I write so that everything plays out
I don't shout when I'm liberated
I write

The best thing my friends taught me was that they should probably leave me to paint their portraits since I don't know them well
Faces are filled with information about what we don't really know

Welcome to Japan
It's filled with weird people
A broken family
A forest of shoes
A city of robots
A city of animators
A city of children

You woke me up
In the middle of a dream
Where there were only good things
You showed me a nightmare
I have always wanted to see
It's called the boundary
Now I walk the tightrope forever
As long as I get a word from you
It's the only thing I can remember

Hello Mind
It's been a while
I've been alright

Hello Soul
You're so old
I'm quite impressed
You're not yet spent

Hello to the ones I've sought out to impress
With all the efforts I have left
Crumbs of passion in your wake
I am making no mistakes
No blinking while you attack
No breathe wasted on any slack
I am aware of what you say
It's all the same when both mind and soul
Seek me

Helping myself to a second portion
While all the world is on their 4th
How do I make it seem like I am caught up?
When all the world is ahead

The place I'm staying in is my body
She makes my decisions
She rolls my eyes
Every dress I wear is hers
Having a body means nothing is really mine on the inside
Hardly out of my mother yet and my cries don't belong to me
My credit card is food to make my body stay still
But that puts me in debt
And she wants to run because she needs me to pay rent
My body has issues with me that I don't understand
What's the problem if I don't want to move? I think. If I want to smoke why can't I? If I want to thrash around my room and break her.
Why can't I?
Why does she love so easily?
Why does she want to be alive so badly?
The bodies around me own their tenants
Their tenants are owned by other bodies
Our bodies are like children who cry when hungry
There are some things that need to be articulated
There are no more lives left to live and my body is grasping on to me like a lifeline
At the same time she's trying to stop me from drowning
She needs me to feel immortal
Even though I already am

Lemon water is good when you're bloated
Even if you don't feel like a glass of water
A sour mix can help you curb your appetite
It might seem stupid but I think lemon water
Is the bee's knees
Can't help myself enough to some lemon water

This counts as ******
You grieve my changed heart
Even when you said it's over
I am dying to know my part

This wasn't one night only
This was a season
Even when you said I was the star
Further and further we get
The world and the expanding galaxy

When we were on that stage
We had it all
We saluted the lights
We couldn't see a face
They laughed at a line
We made them wait

Then now you and I stand
On the same silence before the song
It's becoming dead in the theatre
It's becoming empty again
It's not time to get better
It's time to call it a day

This counts as ******
You grieved my changed heart
If it could get better
I'd practice everyday
I'd start everyday (everyday)

We are born into love
Can you stay in love?
I can say I'm loved
If you could be my love

Everybody wants a chance
Everybody in the crowds
Endings only mean one thing
It's a comedy
Or pain

I'm so sure you woke up next to your wrong side and said
"Nah, I'm gonna win today because you're not my partner in crime today"
It's efficient the way I can change perspectives to what I need at the moment
It's a chance I need to take in order to make believe I can make it.

No matter the consequences
It's about how much I can win today
Before the air in my lungs give out
And the skip in my feet give in

I hope you know how much I care, because you were always there
Your presence is always around
It made me believe in the right ideas
It made me believe I can do no wrong
I know I can be cruel sometimes
But I can be a good person
When the day comes that I don't try
Please remind me with a gentler nudge
Gentler than the way my mouth is quick
And my hands are heavy
Kinder that the daggers in my eyes
When I judge every boy who is in love
Meeker than a toddler going up to an elder brother
Asking him to help fix any precious moment he has left in this stage of his life
I can't help but see the light of day in the most bleak moment
It's everything I ever wanted
It's everything I ever hoped for
It's not the light at the end of the battle
It's the light every moment continued to become alive for
Hope is not a jousting contest
Where the truth fights with the facts
It's about something that you need cultivated
It's about something you need to promise
Make that pact with yourself
You cannot be wise
If you cannot admit to not knowing.
Make believe in the truth about yourself
That you can be carefree, with responsibility.
I love you
I hope you never lose the ability to be loving
Loving others with the light and strength that you know needs to be worked on
Be a light for others
Be a light that blind in strength
A light that blinds out complacency
A light that grows plants
And creates life

I want the stars the moon and the sun
I want it all but I’m not the one who deserves it
Who deserves it but the small ones?
I want to capture the one who’s heart captured mine
Who am I? I do not know how to hold still and back
So I keep it unfiltered
I want the wandering path of the traveler
I so long for this unlived life I was dreaming of you until you wept and I stayed backwards
Who is this I became to even blame you?
For the wisdom I partake in is everything of insecurity rather than insight
When you lose your sleep
I lose my sights too
I figure out the shape of you
Then definitions can be defined
Always I find that when you steam my clothes
You steam every wrinkle away
Until nothing is left
But this poetic mess that seems to go into the woods of overthinking
Lost in the emotion of time
If time were to be heartbroken we would be stuck in this moment
So let’s hack time
And find her lover, death
Separate them forever and see nothingness
Until the end of this affair of souls selling each other everything they want for one another
I want time
So give me what time wants from me
To shun death and let death stay in the heart of time
Forbidden lovers for eternity
My arranged marriage with time
Bargained for with this borrowed life of viciousness
Wooed by a gold digging entity
i'm posing as an old rich woman
Indulgent and defiled
Time is fooled by my masquerade
I will not die and time is mine on paper

This is not the era in which people feel deeply
I am prone to calling myself an old soul
Relics can be found when you dig deep within my ribs and when you see through the eyes that stare
You can see the universe yearning to understand you
This is not the era I am meant to be alive in
I am born to be in the time of poets and battle worn soldiers
Where they experience pain and suffering and try to understand it
There is so much more than experiencing life as a party or a celebration or an adventure. Where are the battles to be fought? Win something with the depth of the Grand Canyon, which I have only witnessed through photos that when I close my eyes, I dream.
Find meaning in the suffering of the little life you have
Save your victories for tomorrow
Battles are no longer existing  in my life
And I am a useless soldier

How do you know me so well
Without speaking in so many words
I haven't got a clue with what you tell
But if I could read your mind I would

Let me send to you my crooked-teeth kisses that go wherever it pleases
In any direction it seeses
Let me collapse my belly into your head to crush it of thoughts that require your sadness
Make me shell out with my darkened fingers
These balanced book-flippers
These dreaded art-lispers
Let me forgo every drink offered
Forgotten and tossed
Away from my guts
Present my freezing body---shivering and severed
From your toasty peaches---your delightful a-speeches
Wondering if his hands are made of the lashes
That cause me to spasm
In fits and in hashes
Living breathing
Teardrop from heaven
I have no more pennies
To give to my parents
So sober up, Claudine
Don't forget your bearings
You're bearing the sharing
The giving
The caring
You must be astute
Strong-willed
A beaut
Nothing can beat
The life out of youth

How to say sorry when there is no more words left?
It's been 11 years since our batchmate died
He was a good kid who didn't know any better about love
He took his life in an effort to make a point
But we know
Love is useful
So is rest.

Home has a lot of windows
Everyone looking in
But nobody helps the damsel in distress
Because she will probably learn anyway

When my parents separated I didn't talk to anyone for a year
I was 7 years old
When I raised my hand to speak
Everybody listened
When my sister told us she was dead
We were supposed to attend a piano recital
Instead we attended her funeral
I decided
This was not the family I want to belong to
I wore a **** black dress at the wake to set myself apart
Rebellion

This isn't 2007
You're not as pretty as you think you were
Or as fit as you were back then
You're not in high school
You didn't even win Prom Queen
All your juvenile accomplishments may have meant something to people who cared about high school
But then nobody cares now
Suckers are falling for the cruelty of compliments
And they can't tell the difference between an insult from your mouth and kindness from a good person in the form of me delivering you to the painful truth
That when you were somebody
It wasn't preparing you for anything
You're going to be nobody forever
Just another face on TV
With 15 minutes of forgetability
Because you were never really giving. You never knew what it meant to defend the defenseless, fight for what was right, or think about making somebody else look good when they needed a win.
You only think of survival in the jungle of pettiness
And when you feel you've done some sort of triumph
It's always about you

Who cares if we are lost?
The translation is a sign
The train of thought was thin
Who cares what words are said?
We packed light
Enter forests cradled in the mountain range
Keep your childish laughter
Leave your drunken meal
Drank river into waterfall
I have nowhere, no war
How to exit?
*****
How to enter?
Clean
Land has lost
Sign out the hive
Retired
Bees are so alive
Wire traps the treason
Factory line sublime
I am a social creature
Frequenting the mall
Travel is my heaven
The lights up in the sky
Driven by a dream
Something I can find
Elsewhere and else who

Love is human
Love is pride
Love is perfectly blind
Love is giving up your smile
Love is giving to others your time
Prayers are hopeful kisses to the sky
Slow and painful they choose a lullaby
Half a loaf for my family
Half for me
Love is human
Love is pride
Love is trying to be blind
Love is painful
Love hurts
Love is mostly taking what others deserve
Don't you know Love is cold-blooded?
Love has a name
He was named after you
Love is a curtain over us
Love is certain when you give it up
Love is tricky
Love is a bluff
Love is made of unbreakable stuff
(Unbreakable stuff)
(Unbreakable stuff)
(Unbreakable stuff)....

I'm so torn with being alone
I'm trying my best to be free
I'm so tired of being a deception
Is this the time to be me
Maybe it's time I shouldered the burden
Of hoping at last for your affection
Sorting the past is not easy to do
But even in this affliction
I am memorizing you
There is a place where mostly my heart says to become one
And even I praise the reason for the this heart's embrace
Over and over I am above the clouds
Wasting the seasons until you make it to the clouds
At last
I'm memorizing your face
I'm memorizing your language
I hope that there is something to the touch of your embrace

You're allowed to get mad
You don't need permission to shout at someone when they ask you for unreasonable things
Like to keep your temper in check when they don't respect that you're old enough to not take their **** storm of ******* manipulation
You can get mad, go on
You have every rational logical explanation but it's stuck in your head
So why don't you just hit back? It isn't like they didn't hit you first
You have every reason to get mad
The guy just comes back without a word and doesn't know how you'll react so he then makes a statement of power by being an *******
His fear is your reason to get mad
Get mad at his fear with a sharp tongue and a voice of fire
He can't step on you

Need silence
Within this car
I need your embrace
within your arms
Don’t even know what hands are anymore
I’m finding it hard to explain what they are for
Boy I just want to know you
I just want to see you
Boy
I want to steal you
and your time
from this place
I need silence
within this car
i need your embrace
within your arms
i don’t even know what hands are anymore
finding it hard to explain what they are for
Keep still
So we can touch
be real
will we keep in touch
I just want to hold you
In my touch
It’s not so hard
aren’t we enough?
Don’t even know what hands are anymore
Hard to explain what they are for
Boy I just want to know you
I just want to see you
Just want to steal you

There you found the letter you've been searching for
It was under your bed this whole time
It was written a long time ago
Now you can read it
So you have more space for letters