A story about a man who looked up to a hero all his life and realized he had only became a villain... -kyle Shirley

A hurricane of emotions rip through me

My hands tremble and shake.

The sky flooding with bright colors.

A piercing ring echos in my ears.

Death settling in, lending its hand.

Cold, but warm.

Welcoming yet foreign.

Love is evol.

In my travels I recall this old and dusty wall.
I gazed upon it in wonder for months, wasted my younger years away...
I stood up at it, asking questions, "who could have made such a masterpiece? What did it take to put each brick into place?"
This wall mocked me.
I dare not climb it, for it was too tall, what if i fall?
I looked for a way in, but no door nor window, to get inside.
to dig under surely ment suicide..
So as I camped out side the wall I began to go crazy, hearing whispers telling me to leave, go home, and turn back, for there was nothing for me here.
I scratched at the wall, carved my name in stone.
A traveler walked by and told me what I had become, a sick man spreading sadness... For my wall that I found was a mirror, and I was tortured by the sight of it, the whispers telling me to leave were my own voices trying to help...

With desire in my eyes, I wake up out of the ashes, I rise and walk up the steps to my Empire.

I have learned many things in my trials, the only thing you can do is believe in yourself, trust yourself.

Love is a crime, the wrong love can rob you of a wonderful life. Mug you of rising far beyond your limitations. ****** you of your hopes and dreams. Just because a you fell in love with the wrong person at the  right or wrong time.

But thats the beauty of love, the best teaching tactic life can give you. Hurt.

... And so, the cycle begins a new,
How shallow I feel not here with you.
Lies I tell myself to sleep at night
Toss and turn, you were my only light.
Here I sow with another.
She tries but yet I still feel smothered.
Empty inside it seems to feel
Every day is a battle that I'm trying to heal.

I cant stand to see the guilt come across an actor's eyes as he portrays a life of a cheater.

Days past were I am reminded of my own betrayals and I must look away.

Is this what it's like to change?

Has my sleep become a pipe dream?

Has my alcoholic induced ******* antics came and gone so early in my life, where I cant find the dullest, and easiest scape goats to sooth my pain and guilt?

I'm left wondering what did i gain?
Take it from me, the grass is not greener.

I had you once but you chose to walk away.
My poems brought you back to me for a night, and you begged me to stay.
I did till I knew that I would only be a secret for the night.
I wish you could see I was mr. Right.

The roads I must take to get you a seem endless to you, but I will walk however long it takes to spend one more night under the stars with my precious delight.

I have such vivid daydreams from time to time.
I see her, walking down the aisle between the pews, the dress is beautiful, flows with your hair... But thats not what im crying about or looking at.
Its your eyes and your smile.. I can see this aura around you, I bust out in tears thinking about it.
Iv only witnessed that type of beauty, when im with you, but like I said its just day dreams.
You dont see what I see, it's like im there and never been happier, or see you smile so much seeing me standing there at the altar.

As the tears come thinking about what happiness I miss out on, I smack myself back into reality, full of guilt.  I'll only experience that kind of happiness with you inside my head.
I think its time to roll over and think of something else.

It's a swift and rapid river.
The current is too strong to fight.
So you give up and let it pull you in.

At first it's terrifying,
Guiding you on a uncharted path.
But then this rush over comes you
Bliss, surpasses the fear of unknowing.

Through the twist and bows of the current
You embrace diversity till it happens.
The waterfall.

Do you fight this unnerving battle?
Escape before the plummet capsizes you?
Or close your eyes and ride out this heartbreak?

I watch all these movies, romanticism at its finest.
But one story stands out, not the notebook... But "I walk the line" this true story about hardships and love for a woman hits home. I made tons of mistakes like he has and ends up with his woman, never giving up, turning into the man she wants and knows he can be.

Im trying ***, believe me, you have told me no 100 times now, its time for you to come up with a new answer.

I fight and hate my way through my days, I love and feel when I can. Im a hurtful man pent up inside my mind. No conclusions to a end. I push on, NO PAIN I tell myself. Just go harder and harder. I scream inside for attention. Im crazy, I have no reason to fight and hurt, no need of attention... all I want to do is go the distance.
no ones ever gone the distance in my family. Be someone, somebody, its not about fame or fortune. Its about persistence and never giving up to get what you want. Not having a breaking point, striving to be better then yesterday. No pain, just keep moving forward...

The excitement, the rush.

The Laughter and bliss.

Shes what has been at the end of the storm.

What iv been waiting for this whole time.

When we are together planets collide.

Earth quakes tremble and shake when we kiss.

This is why the road has been hard.

This is who I was ment to be with this girl.

The stars set, the earth shifts, my mind races and the universe quits.... All is right in the world.

That one thing you want,
You can't have.
years go by
nothing's changed,
you Breeze through life
on Talent and luck.
your Luck's run out
and karma is cashing in

And that's how it starts,
a man in love with himself,
meets this girl who saves him from his ego and in return he saves her
Fade to ******* black...

That **** only happens on screen the real truth is..

Man meets girl,
girl thinks she can change him.
Man sees lust at every corner,
man becomes weak and gives in.
Man looses girl,
man looses every girl he touches.
Falls in love with the idea of loving someone else and how it made him feel.
Man slips into a comma,
drifts off to find her not at his bedside,
not thinking about him like he thinks about her.
So he waits in purgatory,
can't live without her,
but when he wakes he can't have her...
Waits to fade to black.

I do it all for you,
I have set new goals and avenues in my life all for you.
I am going to school finally to learn how to pursue my dream all for you.
Learn how to write and do big things iv always told you id do, for you.
I was once the man you saw you wanted and crushed that image.
But just maybe when iv became the man I promised you will come back to me
Became in the end
I do it for you.

Yes after all these years, I still keep your photo in my wallet, hoping one day you will come back to me.

Its not that you take up all of my mind, I have moved on, you more or less mame up a small portion in the back crevices of it, like a filing cabinet with a really long drawer.

Filled with Memories and wishful occurrences.
I am happy that you are still there.
Reminds me that it happened.
I am happy you and I are different now, shows me growth really does take time.
Most of all I am happy and you had no part in it🙂

I hold a piece of your heart in mine, problem is you have a piece of my heart to. I root poetry get myself out there, now I write poetry to speak to you. I truly hate myself that I keep loving you unconditionally while you have left.

The only reason why it hurts so bad because the two halves of a heart long for each other to be close again until they are okay with loneliness it will hurt

I find it impossible
To describe her
flawless beauty.

Her Radiant eyes
Even through
The lines
Her black frames
Drive me Insane

The way her hair
Falls along her face
Hides the fear
Without a trace.

Flawless
Radiant
Stunning

If I loved you, the day I saw you, in that moment, you were going to be the center of my happiness, would you ignore me? Shut me out for feeling too passionate about a moment? Or could you learn to love me as I do you?

How about If i tell you, I no longer could hold grudges or speak ill, because you have taught me life it too short, and iv lived too long without love to burden myself with such pain.

I dont look at your beauty. when I said I loved you the moment I saw you, it wasn't about seeing beauty, it was about seeing right though you. It was seeing my life with you in 30 seconds flash to 30 years. Ups, downs, fights, children, and learning more about you each and everyday. That look for 30 seconds told me everything I needed to know in a person, trust.

To the person who broke my heart, you don't know this yet but you've tarnished every relationship from here on out. Because every fragment of my body I'll still be in love with you and no one could even compete. It won't be fair to them but it's not fair to me if you go

Darkness is so quick to Eclipse your light it swallows your happiness.
At that very moment you have an option be week and accept it, fall into a deep depression. Or fight your way outa hell, even if it brings you to your knees and you must crawl back into the light.
Heartbreak swallowed me up, and it took away my love and life. As i am frantically searching for some sort of comfort and pick up my pieces, I have learned the 1st and hardest step is to say "hello to happiness"

As time is forever fleeting we grasp and cling onto the old faded memories, forgetting to look forward to the new ones.
We move on looking for new love to blossom and grow, less we forget it was planted in pain and sorrow we had to endure, to fertilize the ground work.
Often my tales unfold with mistakes I've never learned from.
Begging at new opportunities that linger at every new glance or brushed finger tip.
Pain fills my body with guilt as lust consumes my thoughts as I go back out into the wild, Looking for everything I ever wanted while it waits at home asking me where I've been...

My heart aches
It breaks
My soul is torn
Urges to be reborn

Erase the pain
Keep my mind sane
Think of me less
Speak no more of this mess

Set my love free
Where it wishes to be
Look ahead and smile
Cast away all anger and denial

Escape from the sadness
Suppress the madness
Forgive all those you know
And leave to where you choose to go

Words have been said
Or better yet read
But the last I say to you
Is find happiness in whatever you do.

Sunset kiss
White wedding dress
Love at first sight

Frigid mess
Lustful doubt
Fighting can't get it right

Empty bottle
Money *** busted
Sick and trashed
Life has gotten rusted

Poem for her
Love about me
Sick and lonely old
Unhappiness finds me

My temple for where I warship her.
Her beauty.
My goddess.
Years I have slaved away to build her up to what she is.
Only to stand there as a memory in stone.
Her hips to her lips perfection in the finest term.
Oh how I'm lost without your grace.
Goddess come back to me so I can worship once more.

Dear depression,
The grip you have on me is tiresome,
I'm ready to break free from these shackles.
You have prayed heavy on my weaknesses and lonely heart.
I'm ready to be happy again.
Too long I have walked aimlessly alone,
too long have I waited for nothing.
My sins are payed, my time is up.
I'm due for a new start.

*Dear depression. Dear Dana. I'm done.

I cant help but wonder if you will still think of me down the road.
If im this hopeless romantic thinking one day you'll be mine to hold again, like the timing for us just wasnt right.
Im sick, I wish she knew how sick I was.
Her memory is everywhere I look, when I close my eyes I can smell her... Life is a fickle ***** and they say you win some you lose some.. Well let me taste victory just once to see how bitter sweet it really is.
Iv lost alot of love in my days, when will I learn im destined to walk alone.

In my hour of darkness, no, your not there. And tho, I reach out to you, couldnt lend a hand...
I struggle to put words on paper, my thoughts are else where.
My motivation has left me alone with black thoughts of just frustrated emotions.
This writing puts me no where closer to archive a goal, yet my ramblings of of my shadow, the man I used to be, is all thats left to speak. That person is tired, tasteless, tattered, worn, stale... yadda yadda...
You need something new to read, I need new emotions, to write about. Excitement, joy, wonderful creations in between these lines of gibberish.

It shouldnt be this way, a connection lost.
I burned down every bridge that I found and your the last one.
This site was the last small piece of you I had. When I look, its just an empty space.
My poems were for you, a direct line to my creativity.
The woman that throw themselves at me, worthless
The offers I get to move on, useless.
You want what you cant have and I have the worst case of it.
I think I write about you, so later on I can tell the story of a true heros tale.
How I walk through this hell fire of my sins to reach you, because your worth it.
How I battle myself each and every heart ache, because your worth it.
I knew this would be a waste of my time, you wont see it. But your still worth it

Read more.** Reading has expanded my mind to new heights and opened doors in conversation topics beyond anything you can see on television.
Meditation. has helped me see my goals clearly with distractions of everyday life.
NO FEAR fear has always been a concept of my own mind, nothing on the outside has made me this way, Once I took away small things I was afraid of I could grow out of my shell.
love yourself you are the only there will ever be. Once you realize that you are special, it will be easy to find great minded people like yourself.

Some times it's like I'm a fish out of water
I suffer without you.
You were the air in my lungs, the water I drink the birds chipping in the morning...

Now your the last drop in the bottle, the head ache I can't break in the morning, your the heart attack I lived through making me pale and weak.

Your the rain that never stops, may I ever see the sun again?

Probably one of the most depressing nights of my life and she would never know.
I miss my best friend.
I miss my soul mate.

My insecurities is an infinite wall that will keep us separated.

I'm looking for that fresh start. I deleted her number the other day, among others. It was the final step in getting over you. I'm proud of myself and the changes iv done.

You never gave me the chance after a whole year. Well I'm glad you moved on and have him by you're side, but iv I must walk this path alone, know that you no longer drag me down.