I dont wanna be 30 and still be tryin to "hang" at the bar. I wanna be at home with my family.

I want to come home from a rough day at work and see my beautiful wife look at me with a sigh of relief because she generally missed me not using me as a relief from the kids.

I want the best part of my day, to be waking up to her smile and wish me a good morning, and seeing her at the end of a hard work day assuring me everything will be ok.

I want a romance with love and passion not a one night fling

She frightens me, scared to leave and move on.
I know iv found greatness in her but will never know if I find it again.

I still want her, I always will.

Maybe god or destiny has more in store for me.

But until then, I wait scared and alone.

Why does it take death to miss something or someone? When I reach the end of my days I dont want to have " I should have" at the last breath I take. I want to look back and smile because of the memories and chances I took. Life should not be full of mistakes and regret.. but it is. How else do you learn? You had to make those to bad choices to see what is really in front of you. I want to know at the end of my days that I loved the deepest I could with the one who truly means the most to me, and that might not necessarily be a woman either. My father is my biggest inspiration and he know the love I carry for him is far greater then any woman I could give my heart to. That being said many have come close but I feel as though I had to make mistakes along the way and those women have gone to other, more suitable men. Life isnt a game or race to money and fame, its the journey towards love and the pursuit of our happiness.  When I reach the end of my days I should not have why at my lips or what if that girl and I...." I should have remember old man, the time of that beautiful woman at that sunset? You made a fool out of your self when you poured your little heart out to that girl who was out of your league, and she didnt care she was ready to say yes to you when you got down on bended knee, not the speech of love that followed." Then when that memory fades and the smile on my old man face is immortalized as I slip into cold death, ill have lived my journey into whatever kingdom I have made that lies ahead of me.

Im no knight in shinny armor,
My clothes are tattered and torn.

I would stop anyone from harming her,
Her touch makes me feel reborn.

I tell myself NO, I dont need this drama,
Yet im still at her beck and call.

It's a swift and rapid river.
The current is too strong to fight.
So you give up and let it pull you in.

At first it's terrifying,
Guiding you on a uncharted path.
But then this rush over comes you
Bliss, surpasses the fear of unknowing.

Through the twist and bows of the current
You embrace diversity till it happens.
The waterfall.

Do you fight this unnerving battle?
Escape before the plummet capsizes you?
Or close your eyes and ride out this heartbreak?

A hurricane of emotions rip through me

My hands tremble and shake.

The sky flooding with bright colors.

A piercing ring echos in my ears.

Death settling in, lending its hand.

Cold, but warm.

Welcoming yet foreign.

Love is evol.

I cant stand to see the guilt come across an actor's eyes as he portrays a life of a cheater.

Days past were I am reminded of my own betrayals and I must look away.

Is this what it's like to change?

Has my sleep become a pipe dream?

Has my alcoholic induced ******* antics came and gone so early in my life, where I cant find the dullest, and easiest scape goats to sooth my pain and guilt?

I'm left wondering what did i gain?
Take it from me, the grass is not greener.

A story about a man who looked up to a hero all his life and realized he had only became a villain... -kyle Shirley

My heart is her heaven, day to day I watch her sleep.

I am who she trusts the most, her protector.

Although she may not know it, this is where she belongs.

Are fights are like the crushing tides to a lighthouse dock, but we do have a calm.

I love her truly through good times and bad.

She is my Lillian.

I have such vivid daydreams from time to time.
I see her, walking down the aisle between the pews, the dress is beautiful, flows with your hair... But thats not what im crying about or looking at.
Its your eyes and your smile.. I can see this aura around you, I bust out in tears thinking about it.
Iv only witnessed that type of beauty, when im with you, but like I said its just day dreams.
You dont see what I see, it's like im there and never been happier, or see you smile so much seeing me standing there at the altar.

As the tears come thinking about what happiness I miss out on, I smack myself back into reality, full of guilt.  I'll only experience that kind of happiness with you inside my head.
I think its time to roll over and think of something else.

In my travels I recall this old and dusty wall.
I gazed upon it in wonder for months, wasted my younger years away...
I stood up at it, asking questions, "who could have made such a masterpiece? What did it take to put each brick into place?"
This wall mocked me.
I dare not climb it, for it was too tall, what if i fall?
I looked for a way in, but no door nor window, to get inside.
to dig under surely ment suicide..
So as I camped out side the wall I began to go crazy, hearing whispers telling me to leave, go home, and turn back, for there was nothing for me here.
I scratched at the wall, carved my name in stone.
A traveler walked by and told me what I had become, a sick man spreading sadness... For my wall that I found was a mirror, and I was tortured by the sight of it, the whispers telling me to leave were my own voices trying to help...

And that's how it starts,
a man in love with himself,
meets this girl who saves him from his ego and in return he saves her
Fade to ******* black...

That **** only happens on screen the real truth is..

Man meets girl,
girl thinks she can change him.
Man sees lust at every corner,
man becomes weak and gives in.
Man looses girl,
man looses every girl he touches.
Falls in love with the idea of loving someone else and how it made him feel.
Man slips into a comma,
drifts off to find her not at his bedside,
not thinking about him like he thinks about her.
So he waits in purgatory,
can't live without her,
but when he wakes he can't have her...
Waits to fade to black.

With desire in my eyes, I wake up out of the ashes, I rise and walk up the steps to my Empire.

I have learned many things in my trials, the only thing you can do is believe in yourself, trust yourself.

Love is a crime, the wrong love can rob you of a wonderful life. Mug you of rising far beyond your limitations. ****** you of your hopes and dreams. Just because a you fell in love with the wrong person at the  right or wrong time.

But thats the beauty of love, the best teaching tactic life can give you. Hurt.

I find it impossible
To describe her
flawless beauty.

Her Radiant eyes
Even through
The lines
Her black frames
Drive me Insane

The way her hair
Falls along her face
Hides the fear
Without a trace.

Flawless
Radiant
Stunning

The excitement, the rush.

The Laughter and bliss.

Shes what has been at the end of the storm.

What iv been waiting for this whole time.

When we are together planets collide.

Earth quakes tremble and shake when we kiss.

This is why the road has been hard.

This is who I was ment to be with this girl.

The stars set, the earth shifts, my mind races and the universe quits.... All is right in the world.

I had you once but you chose to walk away.
My poems brought you back to me for a night, and you begged me to stay.
I did till I knew that I would only be a secret for the night.
I wish you could see I was mr. Right.

The roads I must take to get you a seem endless to you, but I will walk however long it takes to spend one more night under the stars with my precious delight.

I watch all these movies, romanticism at its finest.
But one story stands out, not the notebook... But "I walk the line" this true story about hardships and love for a woman hits home. I made tons of mistakes like he has and ends up with his woman, never giving up, turning into the man she wants and knows he can be.

Im trying ***, believe me, you have told me no 100 times now, its time for you to come up with a new answer.

I fight and hate my way through my days, I love and feel when I can. Im a hurtful man pent up inside my mind. No conclusions to a end. I push on, NO PAIN I tell myself. Just go harder and harder. I scream inside for attention. Im crazy, I have no reason to fight and hurt, no need of attention... all I want to do is go the distance.
no ones ever gone the distance in my family. Be someone, somebody, its not about fame or fortune. Its about persistence and never giving up to get what you want. Not having a breaking point, striving to be better then yesterday. No pain, just keep moving forward...

If I loved you, the day I saw you, in that moment, you were going to be the center of my happiness, would you ignore me? Shut me out for feeling too passionate about a moment? Or could you learn to love me as I do you?

How about If i tell you, I no longer could hold grudges or speak ill, because you have taught me life it too short, and iv lived too long without love to burden myself with such pain.

I dont look at your beauty. when I said I loved you the moment I saw you, it wasn't about seeing beauty, it was about seeing right though you. It was seeing my life with you in 30 seconds flash to 30 years. Ups, downs, fights, children, and learning more about you each and everyday. That look for 30 seconds told me everything I needed to know in a person, trust.

I do it all for you,
I have set new goals and avenues in my life all for you.
I am going to school finally to learn how to pursue my dream all for you.
Learn how to write and do big things iv always told you id do, for you.
I was once the man you saw you wanted and crushed that image.
But just maybe when iv became the man I promised you will come back to me
Became in the end
I do it for you.

I hold a piece of your heart in mine, problem is you have a piece of my heart to. I root poetry get myself out there, now I write poetry to speak to you. I truly hate myself that I keep loving you unconditionally while you have left.

The only reason why it hurts so bad because the two halves of a heart long for each other to be close again until they are okay with loneliness it will hurt

My temple for where I warship her.
Her beauty.
My goddess.
Years I have slaved away to build her up to what she is.
Only to stand there as a memory in stone.
Her hips to her lips perfection in the finest term.
Oh how I'm lost without your grace.
Goddess come back to me so I can worship once more.

She must know how i feel when my time under the Kalamazoo sun has finally reached its purpose.
That when the end is in sight
the tears that fall are the last memories of my love for her.
With each drop comes happiness
cloaked in a blanket of melancholy
streaming down my face.
That when she looks up at the star lit sky searching for the awnsers in her life,
she sees my shooting star, finally making her wish come true.

This love never changes
         This love cannot be broken
                  This love is endless.

To the person who broke my heart, you don't know this yet but you've tarnished every relationship from here on out. Because every fragment of my body I'll still be in love with you and no one could even compete. It won't be fair to them but it's not fair to me if you go

Darkness is so quick to Eclipse your light it swallows your happiness.
At that very moment you have an option be week and accept it, fall into a deep depression. Or fight your way outa hell, even if it brings you to your knees and you must crawl back into the light.
Heartbreak swallowed me up, and it took away my love and life. As i am frantically searching for some sort of comfort and pick up my pieces, I have learned the 1st and hardest step is to say "hello to happiness"

Dear depression,
The grip you have on me is tiresome,
I'm ready to break free from these shackles.
You have prayed heavy on my weaknesses and lonely heart.
I'm ready to be happy again.
Too long I have walked aimlessly alone,
too long have I waited for nothing.
My sins are payed, my time is up.
I'm due for a new start.

*Dear depression. Dear Dana. I'm done.

In my hour of darkness, no, your not there. And tho, I reach out to you, couldnt lend a hand...
I struggle to put words on paper, my thoughts are else where.
My motivation has left me alone with black thoughts of just frustrated emotions.
This writing puts me no where closer to archive a goal, yet my ramblings of of my shadow, the man I used to be, is all thats left to speak. That person is tired, tasteless, tattered, worn, stale... yadda yadda...
You need something new to read, I need new emotions, to write about. Excitement, joy, wonderful creations in between these lines of gibberish.

Sunset kiss
White wedding dress
Love at first sight

Frigid mess
Lustful doubt
Fighting can't get it right

Empty bottle
Money *** busted
Sick and trashed
Life has gotten rusted

Poem for her
Love about me
Sick and lonely old
Unhappiness finds me

I cant help but wonder if you will still think of me down the road.
If im this hopeless romantic thinking one day you'll be mine to hold again, like the timing for us just wasnt right.
Im sick, I wish she knew how sick I was.
Her memory is everywhere I look, when I close my eyes I can smell her... Life is a fickle ***** and they say you win some you lose some.. Well let me taste victory just once to see how bitter sweet it really is.
Iv lost alot of love in my days, when will I learn im destined to walk alone.

Some times it's like I'm a fish out of water
I suffer without you.
You were the air in my lungs, the water I drink the birds chipping in the morning...

Now your the last drop in the bottle, the head ache I can't break in the morning, your the heart attack I lived through making me pale and weak.

Your the rain that never stops, may I ever see the sun again?

My heart aches
It breaks
My soul is torn
Urges to be reborn

Erase the pain
Keep my mind sane
Think of me less
Speak no more of this mess

Set my love free
Where it wishes to be
Look ahead and smile
Cast away all anger and denial

Escape from the sadness
Suppress the madness
Forgive all those you know
And leave to where you choose to go

Words have been said
Or better yet read
But the last I say to you
Is find happiness in whatever you do.

Probably one of the most depressing nights of my life and she would never know.
I miss my best friend.
I miss my soul mate.

Darken skies
cloud my mind
Leave me with tearful eyes
We fought through the lies
Her and I
But forgotten I haven't tried
For on my end
Love hasn't died.