a child yearning for their parent’s touch, flinching at the grasp of anyone else’s

never introduced to kindness nor stability --- a child will seek comfort in forms outside human possibility

the bottom of a bottle, the inscription on a pill, the smoke of a substance

people never wanted a child and the child does not need people

Solitude was a drug I injected straight into my veins, sending every bit of isolation towards my heart with great anticipation. Like any other substance,  I ignored the deterioration it casted upon my being for the sake of reassuring myself I was okay.

Loneliness was dizzying, electrifying every nerve ending as I soon began to become aware of myself and what little I surrounded myself with. We come into this world alone ----- and alone we die.

With the mantra amplified, why bother?

I sing the body electric.
I'm dazzled by the promise of a greater tomorrow. I'm dizzied by the awareness of my own consciousness.
My body is merely a container for the soul that begs to be removed from its restrictions, for it is imprisoned within fragile bones and tender flesh.
It sings the body electric.
A melody that resembles a plea before slowly releasing a sigh in defeat against its enclosure.
It yearns from something better than what is offered in such a short span of time.
Life is short, they claim but life is indeed long.
Long and harsh, the road ahead.
We travel forward singing the body electric.

the broken promises that you spew are shattered glass that i do not dare to collect

no more will i fall victim to puppy dog eyes and fragmented pledges at the expense of my own flesh

learn to pick up your pieces
do not call upon me when the bough breaks

you can't forget your family

no matter how hard you try

mirrors remind you you have your mothers face

hard times remind you like your father you never cry

keep it bottled up, don’t worry about the past

seeing relatives remind you “you’ve grown to fast”

my bloodline is a burden that i wouldn’t trade

even if this burden is all that weighed

I crave the decadence for what I cannot contain,
For my body yearns for something more than I am,
Tiresome it is of lacking,
It cannot remain to run in solitude,
Unfulfilled in a world of intemperance,
Begging for something more than what is offered.

No longer do I fear the feeling of an inescapable presence of emptiness,
Fulfillment is ever accompanying me in excess as I bumble throughout the harshness of reality,
Surplus has been said to greet one disguised as comfort,
Shrouded in an escape from cruelty
Yet never do I feel incomplete as the mentions for more adorn my mouth,
Not as a request,
But a demand.

if they told me to leave you at heaven's gate

i'd decide it wasn't worth the wait

for you are my reason for living

and i heard god was forgiving

perhaps he'd let it slide

if he knew how much i cried

when you were no longer around

you and i, hand in hand, we are hell bound

they say love is the driving force of the artist

the words that spill upon the page are inspired by the butterflies in their belly

the stars in their eyes are caused by a glance at their lover

that must be why my pages are empty

it matches the contents of my heart

for i do not feel the appeal of being one with another

and alone i will always be

not curious of commitment

but needing it only to conform

tired eyes. sore limbs. worried head. bitten lips. broken nails. aching heart.

white lies and white lines

you said you’d come home later tonight

the sun came out and i haven’t seen you around

where did you go my darling?

have you forgotten what we had?

looking for cheap thrills, taking tiny little pills

you came in drunk and snarling

my consciousness pleads with me

"have mercy on thy soul"

who are we if we cannot simply be

the consequences of conformity have began to take their toll

the moon does not weep for the fallen stars

instead she glistens in memory of a time they too shined as bright as she

she does not allow their dullness to dim such glow

do not permit others to do this as to you