I… was going to write words, and they were going to make sense, and they were going to be songs of praises about his name.
Perhaps they would’ve been words about love, or about fantasy within irony, or plainly about my feelings; raw, uninhibited, loud, bold,
because I'm having way too much of them while trying to understand him, the masterpiece.
But then I watched my sanity fly, my soul depart from my bruised body and then my heart crashing, falling down for him.

The End.


Or is it just the beginning?

Before despair takes my heart and scream "mine",

Before the flowers planted from pain rots away with time,

Before the birds faint and fall from the dark grey skies,

Before the music shuts through the angst of the chimes,

Before they tell us no, we weren't meant to be tomorrow and lie,

Before the daylight howls and before the sunset cries,

take me by the tip of your tongue and spill your sadness in me.

Take me in every corner of your room until I run out of fears to bleed.

Take me. Take me anywhere.

(A tagalog poem)

ㅡ

Tyaka na lang kita papansinin,
kapag kaya na kitang bigyan ng isang
matamis na ngiti gamit ang bibig na hindi
nangangamoy usok ng sigarilyo.
Tyaka na lang kita kikilalanin,
kapag kaya ko na ring kilalanin ang sariling tinig at hindi ang sigaw ng mga demonyong nangungupahan sa aking isip.
Tyaka na lang kita tatawagan,
kapag kaya ko nang alagaan ang aking katawan at muli na akong natutulog
bago pa magpalitan ang araw at buwan.
Tyaka na lang kita iisipin,
kapag ang tanging kinakatakutan ko na lamang ay ang pagkakawalay sayo
at hindi ang maaari kong gawin sa sarili
oras na maiwan nang mag-isa sa kwarto.
Tyaka na lang kita papakatitigan,
kapag ang aking mga mata'y hindi na pagod, namumugto, namumula.
Tyaka na lang kita kakausapin,
sa araw na pag-ibig na ang aking bukambibig,
sa oras na kasiyahan na ang nasa isip
at hindi kung paanong tali ba ang gagawin sa gagamiting "lubid".
Tyaka ko na lang hahawakan ang iyong kamay,
kapag naghilom na ang mga hiwa at sugat na ginuhit, inukit sa pulso,
kapag ang isip at kalooban ko'y
muli nang nagkasundo.
Tyaka na lang kita hahalikan,
kapag kaya ko nang talikuran ang mga bote ng alak kapalit ng dampi ng iyong labi.
Tyaka na lang kita yayakapin,
tyaka ko na lang hahayaan ang sariling
maranasan na iyong mahagkan,
kapag muli na akong nakakakain ng tama, sa tamang oras.
Kakayanin mo kaya ang maghintay kahit magpa-hanggang kailan?

At patawarin mo ako. Patawarin mo kung ano ako. Patawarin **** ito ako.
Patawarin mo ang kototohanan na
binubuo ako
ng kalungkutan at kaguluhan.
Patawarin **** kung minsan
kapag bumuhos ang luha
ko'y mas malakas pa sa ulan.
Isang araw, aawit ako
ng awit ng pananalig at katiyakan.
Susulat ng tula na naglalaman ng kasiyahan.
Ngunit sa ngayon,
dasal ko'y patawarin mo muna ako.

Giliw, tyaka na lang kita iibigin...
kapag kaya ko na ring ibigin ang aking sarili.

The band is where I need to be
When I buzz and splash
and when
I roll,
My weary soul's finally set free.
The moment I undressed
for the snare,
I knew
the last thing I ever wanted
to be is sane.
My tired limb pitched in for the bass,
I got afraid
my music is bound to be
an unsolved case.


Silence...

Then here they come again.

Then I shall be beating and playing again.

Tonight I'm...
Wearing my mom's red lipstick,
Getting all tangled up in cords
Thinking about how...
Your lover can turn you into magic
While I can only turn you into words
Thought together we...*
Could be more than just electric.
But did you know when we met, the angels all sang in accord?

But that night has beaten every bet, every win of a year's worth of games in Lisbonㅡ we both knew we've lost as reality went all in and we only had nothing but our dreams and art to gamble while the stakes were high.

And did we cruise along those rather soulless waters of Barcelona down to Málaga only to jump recklessly, drown and pull each other down trenches of more questions; our oxygen, our rescue being each other's whereabouts for the next few months?

Battered and almost breathless, I crawl my way farther up north alone. Don't fret for I wouldn't let Budapest thwart me one bit,
at least not the way you did.
The streets may be enthralling in every way, yes, but I would never take any photos in it, and that's a promise.

As we bid goodbyes and succumb to the perpetual agony brought about by the distance between our worn-out souls, the world shall be left helpless with no other choice than to weep with the howling of the new aurora sky.

A time from now, we'll put the French Riviera to shame
with the spellbinding travesty
of our *******;  

The stars that grazes the Monte Carlo sky must realize that they've never even really shined once they witness how my eyes will glisten with rapture as you taste me for the very first time.

Oh, we'll hush the musicians of Vienna with the rhythm of our moans, the terrifying yet invigorating song of your gruff voice begging for more.

As we succumb to each other's biddings, the world shall be left helpless with no other choice than to watch.