Your not just summer time fine baby
Your winter time fine
Your the fine of my dreams
Babe your just fine

Here’s the thing
I fell for you
I fell for you before you fell for me
I was head over heels
My heart flutters with every beat you pump
I look at your face and I see my happiness
I touch your body and I feel your warmth
With you the before’s doesn’t matter
With you it feels like another lifetime

To you,
My love

Trust me when I say this
I don’t know what redemption is
But I feel like I need to partake in such

I’m here to free myself from the words of failure that lingers
As my serene views become aligned with a life that I desire
Am I redeemed from my past?
Does the serene thoughts that I have overpower the ones that I thought won

It’s something I knew was mine
Something I desired
I knew from birth it was mines
I knew I had to grow into my kingdom
I knew the throne belonged to me
I knew that when men said no, I would laugh and say yes
I now know that this kingdom is mines

Hope you smoke away
Because all you do is smoke
I can't have you for a second
You're always high
I want you
I love you
But you ignore my feelings
For that last "high"
Tired of you saying you're done smoking
When you're not
But I'm done
I'm done with you
Have a nice life high
Once you get back to reality
You're going to realize that I'm gone and won't be coming back
But that's life
It's reality

The story I thought I wrote
The story I thought was made was the story that never began
I became the person who forgot how to love
Because all the love was taken
Yet I still have a story to tell
But I can’t speak it
I can’t write it
I just can’t give you my story

He trickled his hand around my heart
He proceeded to pull my heart out
He decided to take it
He played with it and confused the beats
He proceeded to beat it because it didn’t mean anything to him
Then he cut it and said sorry and tried to do it again

I want to look out and see you
I want to look out and smile
I want to hold your face
I want you
Ha, I can't
I can't see you
I can't see your smile
I can't hold your face

Today I wanted to be loved
I wanted to be held
I wanted to be embraced
I wanted someone to be in love with me
Someone who looked at me so passionately
I wanted him

Afraid of the possibilities that I’ve seen but didn’t take
A simple step
A multitude that I uttered
The step I could have taken
The irresistible sweet savor of something that was missed
Afraid

I got you
You’re mines
I won’t leave

Now I'm whole
Now we're whole
So what do I do now?
I got what I want
But is this what I want?
I think it is
But the next question is how do I keep?
How do I keep you?
How do I keep balance?
nevermind.....

Oh babe! You're so beautiful" he said
Oh babe! Can I get some pictures" he said
Oh babe! Can I use your heart" he did
Oh babe! This is not going to work" he said
Oh babe! I crushed your heart" he did
Oh babe! I still love you" he said
Oh babe! *******" I said

I'm sitting here
Sitting here awake
But I'm weary of the way
Sitting here rambling thoughts
Trying to see if it's a "yes" or a "no"
Sitting here wasting my time
Time going by so fast
While I'm just sitting here
I hear the sounds of murmurs
Wondering why sometimes I have to be firmer
Wondering why sometimes I'm not present
But I'm in the bittersweet past
Im still wondering
Im still sitting

I sit here
And I feel so empty
I feel like I was emptied out
My thoughts are empty
Everything is empty
Empty
Empty
Empty
****

He protects me
He looks after me
He cares for me
He listens to my problems
Everywhere I go he goes
He's my son and he's my heart
To my turtle, roscoe

Do you know who I am
The irrelevant fact that will always be relevant
Do you know who I am
The queen of your dream
The queen of my days
If you don't know who I am
You should know

look at me
tell me what you see
tell me what you see that i don't see
because i don't see a lot
do i look broken from the outside as i feel on the inside?
am i ugly on the outside as i feel on the inside?
can you tell me how to be happy?
can you help me get over depression?
can you just tell me what i need to know?

You think you better than me
But you shouldn't
You think you richer than me
But you not
You think you're prettier than me
But I'm beautiful
You may have everything I want
But I got everything I need

It's 8:30
I'm laying down
In a huge room
A room filled with loneliness and matter
But nothing matters at all
The moment you realize the people you thought were there for you are not
So I sit and lay and cradle myself
Nights like this are the worst
Only thing I want for Christmas are my loved ones but they're dead.
Angels
Look down and heal my broken heart on thus night

It's words
If he never spoke prolifically to me
I would never let him be with me
Words are so powerful
Because it makes you happy
Makes you sad and mad
Can't be with a person who does not use the words I want to hear
Words could be love or hate
Just Words

Lost my Bestfriend
He moved on
I was left in the dark
Scratching the surface for more
Then I realized
He's not there for me anymore
So my self esteem went up
And look at me now

The way the spring comes
It’s the way my soul is refreshed
Either it comes today or maybe next month
Maybe I will deal with the rain
Or maybe I won’t
But the spring is so refreshing

He asked me if I can stand to his symphony
I said no
He asked if I could come with him
I simply said no
He said can you smile at me
I said no
He asked will you be with me
I simply said no
He said will you forgive me
I said yes
He spoke once again, he said now take my hand
I simply said no
He looked at me confused
I looked at him
Then I walked away
He said come back
I said I’ve let you go a long time ago
He watched me walk away
And every step I took farther away
The step behind me crumbled
And then with my last step he fell to the abyss that he made from every tear that he caused

Would he stop making me feel so good inside. Making me bloom like the rose I am. Making my thoughts think like his mind. Making my heart beat with his.

Rest•oration
Make me over
A sense of renewal
A new
Being
It’s what I so desired
What I fought for

All that I have ever wanted
Is all that I have

I and U
Yes, I and U
I is me
I is unstoppable
U is you
And I will stop you
I will stop you from destroying yourself
I will stop you from destroying I and U
I Love U

One thing I know
I'm going to live
I'm going to conquer
No I'm not giving up
They said always have a plan B
But my plan B is my plan A
I'm going to show them
That I can do it
I know I can
I've been through the hardest storms
But I'm here today
Because I know
I know I can do it
And you can to

Mentally I’m drained
And when I say I’m drained
I’m emotionally weak
I’m tired of trying to open myself up to people so they can close down on me
Oh yeah, I’m drained
They play me like tic tac toe
And I let them
I have a father who’s a ghost
And the men I date ghost me too
It’s a pattern I see in men
I can’t love the right one
I can’t view the right one
But I know this because I’m always alone
I sit here and contemplate why I’m not lovable
Why can’t they even see the kindness in my eyes
I wonder if I’m that bad
I want to look from the outside and see what they see
What do I do that’s so bad
Do I breathe weird?
Do I talk to much?
Do I think to much?
It’s a million questions I want to know
But will I ever know?
No

Have you ever lost a parent?
And you said it should have been me.
But it wasn't you
I had to talk to them one last time
They said "I left you so you can finish your life, you can live happy and conquer your dreams, and I'll always be here when you need me, never forget that"

Yesterday you couldn't tell me I wasn't in love
Today you can

I love her because she's always there
But I hate her because she's always there

Why don't you love me, like I love you?

When he holds me
When I'm mad
When he kisses my neck
When I'm as blush as the rose
When I lay and rub him
Because I love him

I sit and think
Where will I be tommorow?
Will my dreams ever come true?
Do I have a soul mate?
Is my life worth living ?
Is love real?
Do you love me?
Who are my real friends?
How will I die?
Will I ever reach heaven and the stars?
I sit and think

The fact that I thought we was closer
The fact you didn't even tell me
The fact I had to come ask you
The fact that you didn't care to talk
The simple fact that I thought you knew I was always here
The simple fact

I've been everywhere
Just not where I want to be

Can't really explain it
It's a beat in my heart that explodes
It's a melody that's stuck on my tongue
It's you

We've only known each other for a couple of days
But you listen to me
You didn't even know me
But you heard me and you care
Its truly my pleasure to share your company

Never had a person look at me like I was there world.
Never had a person that genuinely cared.
Never had someone to pick me up when I was down and sick.
Never!
But when?

The love you had for me was no longer there
But I kept loving you more
You left my heart in the dark
You told me to get over it
But deep down you pulled me in more

I’m sending roses...
I’m sending roses through my words to those lost ones...
Lost from the physical...
Lost from the spiritual...
My loved ones
Your loved ones
We will meet once again
-until next time

Yes!
What?
Why?
Why do you bother me when you need something?
But when I come to you, you can't help so you run!
So what?
And hell no!
Goodbye!

Laying down listening to music
Wishing I had someone to love
Wishing I had one I need
Wishing someone want me to stay
Wishing someone would love me
Wishing I was wanted by you
I still need love because I'm a woman

Yeah, I moved on
But did I really?
I think about him
A lot
It’s been a year and he’s still on my mind