There it stands, arachnid shadows creeping down, its veins flow hidden, causing the grass to breathe.

A distant storm closes in,
it swallows the horizon, accentuating my trivialty .
I rest in solitude.

I make my way up the hill.
I can see the wind through the things that it moves, its power still dormant, demanding my respect.

As i get closer i can sense a force above me,
A blue marble spins and glistens in orange light,
i try desperately not to fall off.

Its almost too much to bare as i stretch out my hands.
In that instant i realise my eyes have been closed.

I hesitate to open them,
The vast atmosphere is now an ambience moaning low.
A deep chant reverberates inside.

I can feel Herculean walls towering to an ornate roof, and statues of gold staring into me, piercing my skin.

Never blinking, never averting their gaze, i have to see.

The hairs on my neck stand up and I ****** my eyes wide.

A cold breeze drifts in from my garden as rain drips off the tin roof.
I get up from my chair wiping my tired eyes.

I look out at the old tree from years past, but i see it for the first time.

I can feel it but i dont know where, i deserve it but i dont know why,
The colour drains from the sky like a flash of negative hue

Life was a neon trick of technicolour played only on me.
Everyones lives different shades of lies
And the truth lay in the eternal empty space

True blackness and blinding white light
Crack the illusion of the sky
And reveals the duality of me.
The only thing there is.

Ive done it again
Let imaginary love scare me away
At the end of the day it was early still,
And its my lack thereof that got you.

Truth is i wont let myself commit,
The little story in my head where im happy never plays out to the end.

I know you couldnt wait forever,
Keep letting me close with no notions of whats to come.

My silence fed your doubts about yourself, why doesnt he see me in his life outside of now?

Truth is i dont know,
My lonliness isnt aware of its transience.
My affection is camouflaged in lustful waves.

Im scared to let myself go.
Im scared to trap you in.

Thoughts that grow from a scarred heart are misshapen and tough.
I know if youd seen the real me,
It wouldnt have been enough.

I see a blank canvas as i briefly look in your eyes;
They yearn to see the full picture, although its only for the mind.

And as syllables form words, each brushstroke paints a portrait,
revealing the meaning behind your smile.
Painted and never seen, said once and forgotten.

A true moment.

As you finish your last stroke my masterpiece begins, and you lay yourself bare.
We're vulnerable but stronger than ever,
And electricity fills the air.

Because if our pictures match,
Our dreams might come true.

At the end of this road, after a thousand lives have faded,
Maybe we'll find the one stroke that finishes the piece.
But even if we dont end up on the same path,
Or if we never find the meaning to our lives,

Alone amongst the mysterious night, wrapped up in our own story half the world away,
We might find ourselves admiring this moment,

as it hangs motionless,
in the gallery of time.

When its darker,
My heart fills with dread.
I feel safe surrounded by beautiful reflections, illuminating my world.

In the flick of a switch they disolve into inky black and Like a cat poised to attack,
It waits.

Round every corner, behind every door.
The floor creaks as i creep through the night.
I know theres no danger in the lack of light,
I'm safe.

Its not physical, the threat that waits.
Its something that cant be described,
my fears personified.

Staring at me through the dark night
Right into my blinded eyes.
No longer distracted by vision, my pain surrounds me.

Awake.

The things i didnt do.

The things i havent said.

The frantic face of sadness, desperate and cold.

I can't see it, but its formless gaze haunts my dreams.

I can feel its breath on my neck.

When its darker.

When the day becomes muffled through the wall,
I slowly lower my guard.
Shimmering memories preface the fall,
How distant you are.

I was vulnerable when you came,
With little worth and scared to love.
But your gentle soul made me the same,
Open arms and stars above.

Spectral thoughts assumed your form and danced away my grief.
Your empathic mind mirrored mine and challenged my beleifs.

Of course it was too perfect, too simple and pure.
As our chance came you pushed away.
Sick love with no cure.

And so our paths diverged and your beauty found by others.
Bitter Envy, pain and loss,
Secrets beneath the covers.

Still so present and close but held forcefully far,
I know you see my scars.
We both hold that weight, knowing what we could of been

and living what we are.

All outcomes exist,
In the sea of potential.
There must be an end to this,
When the empty space is full.

The hand of the actual sifts through its murky waters, projecting its favourites into the back of your head.

From your head to your hands,  a thought drifts,
We choose to act upon it,
And through time we shift.

Once you choose you cant go back.
A fleeting decision is a fork in the track on which life races.

Death waits after each and every one.

But how many roads wait for me,
Theres no way to see them,
I keep breathing.
As long as my hearts beating,
          I try not to fall off the one im on.

The platform is quiet when I arrive.
The walk home is long.

The road is busy with lights, but no faces.
I should have worn gloves.

Nearly there now.
Someone's home but nobody was waiting.

I pull a smile out my pocket and drop my keys,
Then I listen to words about the day.

My bed brings solitude,
While questions crawl behind my eyes.

Scraping inside my skull, they're familiar,
And I drift off on their backs.

Your memory is out of my reach;
I forget your face again each day,
But i feel each word thats touched your lips,
Everything you say.

A wave of nostalgia goes by,
Have we ever met before?
memories sit unread like the oldest book in the store.


Youre an elegant mirage , you save me then disappear,
an emotional barrage,
but were you ever really here?

Youre a ripple in space, i feel your breath so near, youre a siren in an astral place, that only i can hear

Your beauty is out of my reach, did i suddenly wake up or did i suddenly sleep? Reflections of you stretch into the deep,
But im stranded on the beach.

Youre a fall from a height, youre the thought that cant be shown, youre a vast sea of black, youre the truth that cant be known.

Your gravity folds into me and wraps around my mind, your thoughts are in my voice, your words sound just like mine.

Your beauty is within my reach, maybe if i can touch the sunset before your last waves breach.
I will be one with the sand and the sea, and you will be one with me.

I walk towards the sun, the giver of life, and as the water wraps around me like a knife pressed on my face, i appear once again where i started, exactly the same place.

Maybe its not you thats distant, maybe i left you alone. Maybe its me thats faded, My body turned into stone.

I only exist on lonely nights, when you dream of love.
I rise above your bed as your heart swells with memories that have no place.

Its the sound of the sea isnt it,
an echo of my face youve never seen,
it wakes up the child inside
Casts light where only night had been.

Scared of the world now, you seek escape,
Scared of the future,
Scared to fight,
you dream of a never ending beach,
Night after night.

I cant come back now, im an emotional crutch. You have to find something real,
A moment you can touch.

When i fade next time you wake, i'll let myself go,
Ill let the darkness take me into the unknown.

Youre looking out at the sunset, waiting for me, for a new day.
when you hear a distant wave roll in, and gently pull away.

Heart's can be broken,
Having never felt loved.

Like snowflakes that melt,
Having never felt sun.