1330

Without a smile—Without a Throe
A Summer’s soft Assemblies go
To their entrancing end
Unknown—for all the times we met—
Estranged, however intimate—
What a dissembling Friend—

135

Water, is taught by thirst.
Land—by the Oceans passed.
Transport—by throe—
Peace—by its battles told—
Love, by Memorial Mold—
Birds, by the Snow.

PROMETHEUS (alone)

O holy Aether, and swift-winged Winds,
And River-wells, and laughter innumerous
Of yon Sea-waves! Earth, mother of us all,
And all-viewing cyclic Sun, I cry on you,--
Behold me a god, what I endure from gods!
Behold, with throe on throe,
How, wasted by this woe,
I wrestle down the myriad years of Time!
Behold, how fast around me
The new King of the happy ones sublime
Has flung the chain he forged, has shamed and bound me!
Woe, woe! to-day's woe and the coming morrow's
I cover with one groan. And where is found me
A limit to these sorrows?
And yet what word do I say? I have foreknown
Clearly all things that should be; nothing done
Comes sudden to my soul--and I must bear
What is ordained with patience, being aware
Necessity doth front the universe
With an invincible gesture. Yet this curse
Which strikes me now, I find it hard to brave
In silence or in speech. Because I gave
Honor to mortals, I have yoked my soul
To this compelling fate. Because I stole
The secret fount of fire, whose bubbles went
Over the ferrule's brim, and manward sent
Art's mighty means and perfect rudiment,
That sin I expiate in this agony,
Hung here in fetters, 'neath the blanching sky.
Ah, ah me! what a sound,
What a fragrance sweeps up from a pinion unseen
Of a god, or a mortal, or nature between,
Sweeping up to this rock where the earth has her bound,
To have sight of my pangs, or some guerdon obtain--
Lo, a god in the anguish, a god in the chain!
The god Zeus hateth sore,
And his gods hate again,
As many as tread on his glorified floor,
Because I loved mortals too much evermore.
Alas me! what a murmur and motion I hear,
As of birds flying near!
And the air undersings
The light stroke of their wings--
And all life that approaches I wait for in fear.

71

A throe upon the features—
A hurry in the breath—
An ecstasy of parting
Denominated “Death”—

An anguish at the mention
Which when to patience grown,
I’ve known permission given
To rejoin its own.

•

I've known an extraordinary lady,



                'Cause I wrote poems in HP,

                                                        Well, I thank HP a lot,
                                                That I have the opportunity,
                                       To know a person like her!

                And found out  we have the same nationality,

Not only that, she write these exceptional and amazing poems!!

          I was overwhelmed!

                And blithesomely chatted her,
                            She replied,

We have a good talk,
                 I was so broken into splinters those times,
             I could hardly remember the throe,
        But her words glare brightest in my heart,



She inspired me,
         With the hurting truth,
                   Well, I knew truth hurts,

Then we always chat,

    We exchange phone numbers,

                 And texting even not in HP,
'Cause I knew she is so much busy,

But I'm still texting her telling,
                     "I'M SO GLAD TO BE Your FRIEND."
And that,
"Ohayou Gozaimasu, konnichiwa & konnbanwa"
             "Kiotsukete kudasai Roan-chan!"

Oh yeah!
           We love Japan, and their language,
                 That made me love her even more.
                       (Love as friend okay?!)


    We exchange google+ & fb,
        And saw her angelic face,
            Scattering over her timeline,
                 I saw a beautiful soul,
                       Dancing and gleaming inside of her,


      She's indeed a very good friend,

                             When I have heartaches and tribulations,

                                     I share her my pain and sorrows,

She's like the sun in the noon time,
                  Heating me up with her love and care,


                    But even though I have not met her personally,
                I knew for sure that I'm so much blessed,
            To know such a golden spirit,
                              Such rare being in the amidst,


And I do knew,
                             That God will lead us together,
                         To spend time personally as friends,


Together with Ma'am Sally,

                        As what she told me,
          "We should have this ~poetess date~ "


How I long for that day!



I really pray to God,

                      That He will give you,
                         The best of the life,


   Give you good health,
          To continue enjoying life to it's fullest,


To have many more birthdays to come,
                 For you to see more,
      Of the beauty of God's creation,


                            And to find,
                     That very right man,
            That your heart longs to find,
                For quiet elongated time.


I pray also,
          That you will remain,
                 To be light to all people,


            And be that very good friend,
Everyone longs for,



In this beautiful day,
                   I pray you will be the happiest person alive,
                            And celebrate this marvelous day,
                                          God had given you.

      "Maligayang Kaarawan Aking Kaibigan."




                          © Earl Jane
                            ♥ E.J.C.S.

By thine own tears thy song must tears beget,
O Singer! Magic mirror thou hast none
Except thy manifest heart; and save thine own
Anguish or ardour, else no amulet.
Cisterned in Pride, verse is the feathery jet
Of soulless air-flung fountains; nay, more dry
Than the Dead Sea for throats that thirst and sigh,
That song o’er which no singer’s lids grew wet.

The Song-god—He the Sun-god—is no slave
Of thine: thy Hunter he, who for thy soul
Fledges his shaft: to no august control
Of thy skilled hand his quivered store he gave:
But if thy lips’ loud cry leap to his smart,
The inspir’d recoil shall pierce thy brother’s heart.

1413

Sweet Skepticism of the Heart—
That knows—and does not know—
And tosses like a Fleet of Balm—
Affronted by the snow—
Invites and then retards the Truth
Lest Certainty be sere
Compared with the delicious throe
Of transport thrilled with Fear—

This is the weather the cuckoo likes,
And so do I;
When showers betumble the chestnut spikes,
And nestlings fly;
And the little brown nightingale bills his best,
And they sit outside at ‘The Traveller’s Rest,’
And maids come forth sprig-muslin drest,
And citizens dream of the south and west,
And so do I.

This is the weather the shepherd shuns,
And so do I;
When beeches drip in browns and duns,
And thresh and ply;
And hill-hid tides throb, throe on throe,
And meadow rivulets overflow,
And drops on gate bars hang in a row,
And rooks in families homeward go,
And so do I.

It seems that lately I can’t get no peace,
From all those so-called Grammar Police,
Who for some reason think that I should care,
The difference between there, they’re and their.

They want to analyze everything I say,
Just waiting for me to lie when I want to lay,
And I really think they just do it because,
They want to further some petty cause.

So, what I do is I mess with there head,
I write the word red when I really mean read,
And I couldn’t care less if they throe a fit,
Should I confuse the words elicit with illicit.

And it really don’t phase me if I’m derelict,
By writing something like “cause and affect,”
I’ll just stare and say “Whatcha gonna do?”
If I want to write that the sky is blew.

Though I really shutter at the very thought,
I’ll try to be discrete and not get caught,
But if they should arrest me and throe me in jail,
Just bee sure and come and post my bale.

05-06-12.

Dear Mrs. Nagley

Oh my dearest mother-in-law,
Did Brandon my king write you?
I am in my utmost state of agitation,
I don’t know what to do, I’m going “non compos mentis”.


Did he left a letter for me before he go?
He said he’ll be in my arms for less than a week,
Oh my goodness it’s been more than 2 weeks!
Oh, this throe is burying me alive in my grave.


Mother-in-law, Oh, mother-in-law,
I am in extreme dejection,
Oh where is my soulmate, my king, my all?
Where is he, please tell me where is he.


Please assure me nothing bad happened,
Oh this eyes shed bucket of tears,
They’re swollen and I am so weary,
Please mother-in-law, tell me what’s going on.

Sincerely your daughter-in-law
Earl Jane Nagley
September 27th, 1876



(Mrs. Nagley's response letter)

Dearest daughter in law Jane........

He left over two week's ago, didst he not correspond?
Mineself either hath no way to knoweth;
I'm worried mineself, me and his father,
We hast not heard one word from ourn son, dearest daughter.

Do not fret Jane, maby mine son's cruise ship is late
If he doth get there, telleth him to write his mum;
I'm crying now from this stress, there art no word's to calm,
Me and his father heard a storm was coming in, I'm anxious.

We need to hath faith mine son wilt maketh it.
Maby the captain's running late, maby the ocean's shaking;
Mine baby is strong, as I prayest he mayest hold on to the thunderous lightning that's hitting the dawn, I want mine son.

Im on mine knee's now, begging God to bringeth him to thee
If he dost not maketh it to thee Jane, mine daughter and sweet;
I wouldst not knoweth what to do without thy king, mine son!
I'm beseeching Yahweh's mercy, mayest god protect his ship run.

Your Mother in law, Juna Nagley............
October 9th, 1876


ONE WEEK LATER MRS. NAGLEY WRITES ONE LAST LETTER TO HER DAUGHTER IN LAW JANE NAGLEY ON THE NEWS OF BRANDON........


Dearest daughter in law Jane.........

Me and mine husband hath received news on mine son, and thine king, I'm heartbroken to telleth thee, but the ship succumbed to the storm's ferocious sting; I prayed and begged to god, yet mine son no longer couldst cling, he passed at twenty-seven. The front half of the vessel broke into many pieces, the lightning struck the sail as tis all the men were flung west and east: Mine baby found some wood to grasp onto, though shark's were around, as ******* they made there move. He was taken by the man-eater's and sunk into the deep blue. O' how saddened I am, O' how I miss mine son, this ****'s mine soul and break's me in ways more than one...... Here is the letter mine son left when they found him floating by the blood of his vest.
Sincerely mom ...
October 16, 1876

( Brandon's letter to his wife Jane Nagley)

Dear amour', I canst not write thee much, mine limbs art bleeding out from the shark bites and cuts. Mine ship went down, as tis this is God's will, please if thou shalt get this letter please knoweth thou art mine queen, mine body shalt be renewed in the presence of the Lord's feet; thou art not losing me, remember? No goodbye's, if I'm to goeth now and if I'm to die, smileth for me lass, drieth thine eye's; I'll meeteth thee in the third celestial, i'll meet thee there.... By the pearly gate's. On cloud nine.

Thy king and soulmate, always and forever

Brandon Cory nagley........
September 23rd, 1876........




©Brandon nagley \Earl Jane Nagley duo
©Lonesome poets poetry
©Hari-reyna incorporated

•
                                                If you are a tree,

Bombarded by extreme winds,


                                            In the amidst of a typhoon,


                                                      ­                     I'll sacrifice to be your roots,
                                                          ­       To diminish your agony,


OH, I cannot manage seeing you suffer!

                             In carrying on in a big tragedy,
                                                        ­       With utmost throe alone ,




Let me be torn and broken into fragments,
                 And be cut in combating and holding for you,



That's how much I love and care,

                                          I wish you only knew...



                       © Earl Jane
                         ♥ E.J.C.S.

"My king"
Ohh my precious king,
How I hunger for your touch,
How I long for your fingers brushing through my hair til I fall asleep, How I long to hold your hands and hold it tight,
I will never let you go,
How I long to engulf you,
Feel your heartbeat as I lay my head on your chest,
Lift my head and look at you,
Looking at each other's eyes,
Be in trance, Ohhh how wondrous!
And I will go near you and will kiss you,
Ohh i will kiss you for eternity my love,
I will never stop, Your breath will be my air and as mine to you,
Ohh my king I will never ever let any time to be in waste,
I will indulge every single second with you,
I will cherish it and memorize every time I spend with you,
And every night in my sleep, I will replay those memories and savor it, i don't want the time to go on,
I want it to stop and just enjoy every moment with you forevermore.

Ohh my precious king,
Can you feel my deep yearning?
Ohh how my pillow wet from my tears of missing you, i desire you, I miss your voice,
Your voice is my music,
I miss your laugh,
Your laugh is my sunshine,
You lighten up my life,
I miss your songs,
Your songs are my nourishment,
You always fill me with your love,
My empty cup runs over with your love,
I miss looking at your angelic face,
I miss YOU, YOU!
How I really ache to be beside you,
No more video chatting, no more phone calls, no more voice clips, no more singing songs over internet, no more technologies,
Ohhh i just wanna enjoy you,
Be alone in a forest,
Enjoy the wonderful nature our God has given us,
Live a simple life with you,
Away from all troubles,
I WANNA BE WITH YOU!
I only want to be with you!
I need to be with you!
I never dreamed life without you,
You are my life,
My future,
I can't go on with my life without you.
I can't, i just can't !

My brandon,
Soon when I see you,
Even before you ask me I will say "I do",
I want us to have God's heavenly seal,
A bond infrangible,
I wanna spend my entire life with you,
And for eternity in that heavenly realm,
I wanna serve God with you,
I wanna be a godly woman for you,
I wanna enjoy my life with you,
With God as our guide and refuge,
Ohh my king,
No words can express how I long to be only just with you,
Only YOU,
You are my life,
My breath,
My very best friend,
My soulmate,
My preordained,
My husband,
My ALL.
You are to me.
Ohh how i yearn for you,
This throe is so hard to bear,
But I will my love,
Because only you are there in my future,
Only you in my dream,
I will certainly & patiently wait til God's perfect time.
'Cause you are my only love, my chosen one,
And I want you, I need you, I long for you, and I love you.*

"Mine queen"
"Mine Reyna, O' darling Reyna,
As the sun doth ariseth in the east
And set in the west; thy heart wilt
Be in mine palm's, as a baby in caress.
Best of amour, the best is yet, for when
We meet, ourn lip's wilt be wet.
Wet with kisses of the morning
Celestial dew, O' heaven's much
Better, when it's thee with me;
I with thou to. Queen how I long
The approaching hour, when we
Shalt be warmed by Glowing
Angel's within their hand's-
Testimonies of God and his
Unending love, and his throne
Of power. In pearl attire, view of the mountain's
Unknown, mine lass, mine lady, I shalt embrace thy
Lonesome bones. None earphones needed, for we'll heareth
All to hear, we'll seeith creatures only the creator's aware, of the majestic being's of beauty. Hold me, closer mine Jane; lock me up into your Filipino rose Bud's, I want to drink of thine love, I want to taste thy nectar's touch. Mine chosen meed, thy hair of satin wilt I smell it's world to breathe. In and out I fulfill the seed's of prophecy, in ancient manner. Across ourn foreheads Yahweh's name, inside ourn spirit's the word's the same. The word's to read "preordained", unafraid to a venture new. Coconut queen of tribal moves, baby flower of romantic brew. O' indeed I needeth thee, just come closer and be, as one we art. We shalt giggle in streams wherein the night is nought, love can't be bought, nor sold in form, love is god, god is love; with one another, we shalt overcome. Seraph's, cherub's, and messenger's surround us. For we art preordained, O' with thee I'm verily blessed. O' with thee Jane mine love, I've been given the best.


© Earl Jane - Brandon Collaborations
♥ Lovers Incorporated

241

I like a look of Agony,
Because I know it’s true—
Men do not sham Convulsion,
Nor simulate, a Throe—

The Eyes glaze once—and that is Death—
Impossible to feign
The Beads upon the Forehead
By homely Anguish strung.

Fickle
Done in mentioned light...
Through and due the common, the still
Notice of compliment, a comment of right

None
The more we save, from the proof of simplicity
Story's and a sulking tree, the seldom of fun in the sun
Turned to universality, with the eyes of anarchy

Amend
Sour and refined, refrain from the beauty of compel?
The pout of another gift and the choice of feeling's substance
Over the quiet since, that has become ours to weal...

Things
And the duty of a desire in worthing heaven, the hell of unity
Given me, and the role of synchronicity a resolve, to sweeten
Time is a daring host, to assure even the tiniest of needs, vicinity

Arduous
Threshold in the lime, the boding of every else, in the book
Staid and remembering decorum, like a hell is every cause
When we are the understanding home, to a willing look...

Force
Are we a stir of responsibility in the arms of voice, or its cope?
Timid as we are, the calling of it all, is a wisdom's source?
Look hard for a nature? when you can have a friend for it's love...

Caring
True to mellower stares, the throe of uncanny light
Made from the none, are we to survive a decision, so faring
The response of decency, that a swim with the devil, is also right...

Liberty
Loan the call, to me for a universe's song
Trust is a walking might of the deed, asking the seldom, evil's
Is it me, or the shade in a wishes stir, the tout we held all along?

‘Whenever I plunge my arm, like this,
In a basin of water, I never miss
The sweet sharp sense of a fugitive day
Fetched back from its thickening shroud of gray.
Hence the only prime
And real love-rhyme
That I know by heart,
And that leaves no smart,
Is the purl of a little valley fall
About three spans wide and two spans tall
Over a table of solid rock,
And into a scoop of the self-same block;
The purl of a runlet that never ceases
In stir of kingdoms, in wars, in peaces;
With a hollow boiling voice it speaks
And has spoken since hills were turfless peaks.’

‘And why gives this the only prime
Idea to you of a real love-rhyme?
And why does plunging your arm in a bowl
Full of spring water, bring throbs to your soul?’

‘Well, under the fall, in a crease of the stone,
Though precisely where none ever has known,
Jammed darkly, nothing to show how prized,
And by now with its smoothness opalized,
Is a grinking glass:
For, down that pass
My lover and I
Walked under a sky
Of blue with a leaf-wove awning of green,
In the burn of August, to paint the scene,
And we placed our basket of fruit and wine
By the runlet’s rim, where we sat to dine;
And when we had drunk from the glass together,
Arched by the oak-copse from the weather,
I held the vessel to rinse in the fall,
Where it slipped, and it sank, and was past recall,
Though we stooped and plumbed the little abyss
With long bared arms. There the glass still is.
And, as said, if I ****** my arm below
Cold water in a basin or bowl, a throe
From the past awakens a sense of that time,
And the glass we used, and the cascade’s rhyme.
The basin seems the pool, and its edge
The hard smooth face of the brook-side ledge,
And the leafy pattern of china-ware
The hanging plants that were bathing there.

‘By night, by day, when it shines or lours,
There lies intact that chalice of ours,
And its presence adds to the rhyme of love
Persistently sung by the fall above.
No lip has touched it since his and mine
In turns therefrom sipped lovers’ wine.’

She walks on duty, through the night
Of coughing calls and sleepless sighs
And in the dim and pallid light
She stalks the ward with drooping eyes;
Thus patients rest within her sight
Which keeps them safe from their demise

One patient more, one break the less,
As frantic hands prepare the space
Which someone left in such a mess
So now she works at twice the pace
Whilst hiding signs of inner stress
With grimaced smile upon her face

And on that bed, and in the throe,
A deathly pale old patient went;
She held his hand and mopped his brow
His weary angel, heaven sent;
His vital signs began to grow
As she collapsed, her goodness spent.

Where lovers do catch the very fabric of the heart
Your lips float with the grace of a snowflake
Snowglobe on the mantle for all to see
But only my hands to embrace
Precious keepsake

The moon-light echos the radiance of your touch
Drawing warmth to calm my inner throe
Soothing with every stroke
A master and a brush
My Picasso

In the lovers mind you endlessly wander in wonder
As you seek to grip the slow progress of carnality
Where your unchained immortality rests
Embroidered deep in my eyes'
Caress of reality

Midst wizened trees the ancient word
Blows through ears that strive to have heard
The magic medley of the land
The stirring Spring gestates her garland
Dribbling music to the bards

We are the bards. Long time ago
We dwelled and swelled in Nature's glow
We lived, felt Love, but now we go
Searching for rainbow, to and fro

Our path takes us high and low
To truth, which raptures us in throe
The torch of truth be ours to hold
In streams of dreams and fires of gold
Sat brooding in desire and woe

My chest feels heavy,
my breathing is so tight
that I am almost running out of oxygen
leading me to a hypoxic state.  

I’ve been punching
this pulsing sensation inside.
Cursing it to stop beating,
for all it ever pounds
is the most excruciating pain
I have ever felt my whole life.
Running deeply from my skin,
to every nerve and to every tiny
fiber of my being.

I wanted to scream
from the peak of Mount Thor,
from there I’ll jump
only to submerge myself
in the Mariana Trench
to slough every tear,
repel every hatred, and
to relinquish every throe
that there is inside me.

Where no one would have
to witness me at my weakest,
where nothing would hear me
as inconsolable,
somewhere I know I will not see you.

How could you?
You grabbed my heart,
petted it, then throw it away
and have it smashed
to the ground.

How could I?
Prospered by your sole existence,
and dreaded by
the wrath of tomorrow, by
the pang of longing, and
by the ache of defeat.

Bizarre, that’s what my faith is now.
As for my prayers, they’re perfidious.
I am finally unarmed.
Am no longer the warrior
I once used to be.

"My king"
Ohh my precious king,
How I hunger for your touch,
How I long for your fingers brushing through my hair til I fall asleep, How I long to hold your hands and hold it tight,
I will never let you go,
How I long to engulf you,
Feel your heartbeat as I lay my head on your chest,
Lift my head and look at you,
Looking at each other's eyes,
Be in trance, Ohhh how wondrous!
And I will go near you and will kiss you,
Ohh i will kiss you for eternity my love,
I will never stop, Your breath will be my air and as mine to you,
Ohh my king I will never ever let any time to be in waste,
I will indulge every single second with you,
I will cherish it and memorize every time I spend with you,
And every night in my sleep, I will replay those memories and savor it, i don't want the time to go on,
I want it to stop and just enjoy every moment with you forevermore.

Ohh my precious king,
Can you feel my deep yearning?
Ohh how my pillow wet from my tears of missing you, i desire you, I miss your voice,
Your voice is my music,
I miss your laugh,
Your laugh is my sunshine,
You lighten up my life,
I miss your songs,
Your songs are my nourishment,
You always fill me with your love,
My empty cup runs over with your love,
I miss looking at your angelic face,
I miss YOU, YOU!
How I really ache to be beside you,
No more video chatting, no more phone calls, no more voice clips, no more singing songs over internet, no more technologies,
Ohhh i just wanna enjoy you,
Be alone in a forest,
Enjoy the wonderful nature our God has given us,
Live a simple life with you,
Away from all troubles,
I WANNA BE WITH YOU!
I only want to be with you!
I need to be with you!
I never dreamed life without you,
You are my life,
My future,
I can't go on with my life without you.
I can't, i just can't !

My brandon,
Soon when I see you,
Even before you ask me I will say "I do",
I want us to have God's heavenly seal,
A bond infrangible,
I wanna spend my entire life with you,
And for eternity in that heavenly realm,
I wanna serve God with you,
I wanna be a godly woman for you,
I wanna enjoy my life with you,
With God as our guide and refuge,
Ohh my king,
No words can express how I long to be only just with you,
Only YOU,
You are my life,
My breath,
My very best friend,
My soulmate,
My preordained,
My husband,
My ALL.
You are to me.
Ohh how i yearn for you,
This throe is so hard to bear,
But I will my love,
Because only you are there in my future,
Only you in my dream,
I will certainly & patiently wait til God's perfect time.
'Cause you are my only love, my chosen one,
And I want you, I need you, I long for you, and I love you.

"Mine queen"
"Mine Reyna, O' darling Reyna,
As the sun doth ariseth in the east
And set in the west; thy heart wilt
Be in mine palm's, as a baby in caress.
Best of amour, the best is yet, for when
We meet, ourn lip's wilt be wet.
Wet with kisses of the morning
Celestial dew, O' heaven's much
Better, when it's thee with me;
I with thou to. Queen how I long
The approaching hour, when we
Shalt be warmed by Glowing
Angel's within their hand's-
Testimonies of God and his
Unending love, and his throne
Of power. In pearl attire, view of the mountain's
Unknown, mine lass, mine lady, I shalt embrace thy
Lonesome bones. None earphones needed, for we'll heareth
All to hear, we'll seeith creatures only the creator's aware, of the majestic being's of beauty. Hold me, closer mine Jane; lock me up into your Filipino rose Bud's, I want to drink of thine love, I want to taste thy nectar's touch. Mine chosen meed, thy hair of satin wilt I smell it's world to breathe. In and out I fulfill the seed's of prophecy, in ancient manner. Across ourn foreheads Yahweh's name, inside ourn spirit's the word's the same. The word's to read "preordained", unafraid to a venture new. Coconut queen of tribal moves, baby flower of romantic brew. O' indeed I needeth thee, just come closer and be, as one we art. We shalt giggle in streams wherein the night is nought, love can't be bought, nor sold in form, love is god, god is love; with one another, we shalt overcome. Seraph's, cherub's, and messenger's surround us. For we art preordained, O' with thee I'm verily blessed. O' with thee Jane mine love, I've been given the best.


©Brandon Nagley\earl Jane Nagley duo poem for eleven month anniversary....
©Lonesome poet's poetry
©Duo poem

Where do I begin.
It's been so long since I've been so close to the end that I could smell the earth around me.
I think I've been playing both sides of the field so long that I can't differentiate between a graveyard shift,
and a cold dead sunrise. But I wouldn't know the difference between differentiating and diffusing dreaming
Dead dawn rises opening up this world
Dead dusk down on a twitch throe, circling the fence around my collapsing line of vision
Sorrow and ***, the two things I like best that I want less of the more that I get.

If I could go back...I would have kissed you on the river. I would have shown you with tenderness, what it is like for your life here on this world to be wanted. I would have given you what love feels like beyond the shade of fear of loss, the ultimate gift I would keep on giving.   And then I would've stricken you with my oar until your beautiful body no longer broke surface intentionally. It would have been the gentleman's way of settling things. Instead I chose the dreamer's.

I've been in camouflage, hiding well from you. hoping to escape within the community of a seemingly functional
system.
Found it hard to keep my cool when utterance of a simple name or phrase could throw me into breathing lasps,
When the sight of a single stone upon the ground could be a city in the sky, my last gasps are playing and
rewinding and then playing, and rewinding, and then playing, and rewinding and then playing, and rewinding and I'm laying down the sheets upon the floor, because the bed reminds me too much of the perfect story memory     I'm
                             alone.    In a
                                                   building.  In a
                                                               ­              desert. In a
                                                               ­                                  deadlocked staring contest between me
and my reflection in the moonlit water memories that make up all I am were was are is will ever ******* be
If you can't escape in a ******* dream then where the **** else am I gonna go?

I've wasted my life, observing, becoming less a part of all the things I spend time looking at.
                   Removing myself from the final edit.                Hoping somehow,
                                                        ­                                         That total abstinence,
                                                     ­                                            From your world,
                                                          ­                                       And my worldly desires,
                                                        ­                   Will
                                                            ­                somehow
put                                      ­                               Me                                                               ­                                      in
                                                              ­            CONTROL.



Love is about control for you.                                                             ­    I believe in you.
                                                            ­                                                       I don't know if I believe in control.
It doesn't matter if I believe in love.

Someone please just see the justification for anything I do.            I am begging for a partner. I have no one to observe
                                                         ­                          me.

If I seem hellbent, please...I am merely driven by demons to an end I would have no means to reach if I was...


left alone...

things are desperate because they are beautiful.  

my transparent sister
wants to be a surgeon.

As I walk the tightrope
On the edge of sanity
I silently scream
Making my pleas

Shall I topple either way
Lose my footing in a daze
Which side will I land?
If I land at all

Where'll I fall?
Fooling you
Fooling me
Inside my mind I make my plea

Please help me understand
Understand what I don't know
I make my way on tippy-toes
Whilst living life on a throe

Throw away, throw my mind
I need to leave my past behind
Behind me is another door
The door I think I'm striving for

I need to I turn, I need to go
For you, for me, for who, who knows?
Follow me, keep me safe
Trying not to contemplate

I'm scared, I'm lost, I've lost my mind
I'm wondering who is behind
Behind it all or is it fate?
Because of all the mess I've made

I used to dance alone in my room
I’d spin the spun black under needle
And turn till my walls became one
I’d stretch my face in strain
And mimic pain in movement

I’d measure arms and hands to
The waver of the music
I cried in concaved chest and
Screamed in legs splitting air,
Laughed in fingers spreading wide
And collapsed to the beat’s final throe

I became a simulated symphony, and
So became each dance;
My afternoon secret
I’d forget words and
Mesh into mangled body melody

mmmmmm those hands droning guitar and
a distant voice
in verse,
drumming, drumming

My body curled around each syllable,
Both in question and answer

It was pain, yes
It was heartache
Yes, it was beautiful
But I soon realized
It was not mine

- c

Wordless my inferior stance yells to be heard
Wheeling the throe of malice to infuriate
The thwarted truth to expose itself, as deterred
  Blows, cower the truth in drier misstate

Justifying tears that cascade the willowed floor
Dwelling my eyes to Illusions in a bid to recall blissful memories,    
Thus allowing my heart’s pleas to implore
The day after tomorrow to pacify my tearful cries    

Wandering the pits of my darkened incarceration
My voice threatened to silence, by my bleeding furrows,
As my life thwarts forward, perplexed by the sanguine
Moat that had been conceived by those endless blows

Dealing my words, to the fatalities dwelling in fear,
Fear no more for as long as you have a voice there will be an ear to hear

The throes in my heart,
Is easy to see,
But, you failed to see it.

Life,
A stern stage,
Where many strives,
While others drink from their sweats.

Of ev’nings music I hear the spheres
My thoughts all exchanged for dreams
With tears and prayers
Yet I you refused
Lament and love

I have complained
And all my sour – sweet days
Disobey and to complain, yet praise
Subjugated I dwell in your tenderness
My dreaming dream

Your rich gold trees & milk meadows
Maple's flashing leaves falling rains
Deceit, to hear, I did not listen
My laborious devotion

Two melting stars meeting
In breathless throe
Breeze's gentle sigh's
A star spilled province weaved in love
My dreaming dream

© Arnay Rumens / A Sol Poet

Life thawed

  mid temperate

      ice crystals

  'neath throe's

    reckoned awakening,

spring enveloped

     dragonflies

its wings tattooed

    'pon nature,

the lake reflected

a softer side

  contemplating

    a gentler zephyr,

condensation filled

  the atmosphere, her

   clear tears saturating

    resurrected skies,

vapors misting on

   the horizon

  amidst forgiveness

     of flawed sunrises

You know, when you witness a car crash in full motion,
It's abruptness shakes you out of your core,
Because when cars crash on the news you only see the commotion,
Not the fragility of the moving bodies which you would never have accounted for.

You witness the horrible instantaneous compression of the car's crumple zone,
Not shown in the news reports which you usually seem to know.

You hear a sudden shriek that cries for your attention,
Not heard of in the news reports which don't describe the dreadful throe.

You feel a sudden atmosphere of sharp confusion,
Conflicting with any atmosphere you previously used to know.

The disparity of these situations is quite familiar, you know,
Something not unheard of, as many of us know,
Like the sudden moments we're frozen in time trying to start forward again,
After colliding, breaking our hopes and dreams, confused as to how to move forward again.

2 deaths in
3 days
I don't know what to say
or even what to feel anymore.
A close friend, first
then
a friend's father
Gone from earth
to the golden gates of heaven
A close friend;
she was
A beautiful soul
A listening ear
That was all she had.
So many moments filled
with laughter
So many emotions
God bless her soul

A friend's father
Oh pain engulfed him
The last of his days
were not the easiest
Pain, blood, torture
Never a day
Had he not brought his daughter to school
Supported her through thick and thin
God bless his soul

Both into the golden gates of heaven

Swords are drawn in soundless night
Above the walls of gold
The winged angels of death descends
A thousand from above
Now Heaven is in its last throe of death

Winged angels of death
Embraced them both
Into its cozy wings
God bless their souls.