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Bobby Dodds Dec 2020
I remember the lights going off in the brains of young poets.
Deep in the dank streets of New York or Columbia college.

When the blues and twos would come and round up
The beatniks snapping to the howl of a homosexual mind.

When the generational attitudes of those too old to know,
Control the ****** acts of “violence”, or
The deepening scars of our philosophies.

When the urbanization of historical prowess leads to
Gentrified gypsies of the diamond deserts and endless skyways

When the great in the country isn’t good enough
For the red hats and spray tanned millionaires.

When the stocks of corporate dragons burn down
The attempts of upstart knights and online kingdoms.

When the politicians of old become the scapegoats
For the ironically gerontocratic few.

When the female few who dared couldn’t find their lost primaries
Or control the lifeblood leaking out of the Strait of Hormuz.  

When the powerful and powerless fought in-between
The dejected and all too often ignored.

When the powered halogen lights flooded prison yards of
Wrongly convicted and murderously in need of help.

When the San Francisco clubs lit up with muzzle flash
And the dancers lay weeping in their blood.

When the schools became places to duck and cover
Or learn to trip a friend when running from a gun.

When parkland high became a manufacturing ground
For casings, tears, and candlelight vigils.

When the American dream came combo packaged
And supersized with obesity and unemployment.

When the education of the youth became about
The profit margin in a spreadsheet full of debt.

When the sun sets in the smoke filled horizons
And sleepless rest settles on the western front.
in my life and many others, there have been almost too many tragedies, losses, disappointments and failures of the people who "Act" like they're in office to help us, and the USA. only to backstab and backdoor deal their way to more money and a worse off world.

it's not often that I attempt to fight and backhandedly throw my voice in the falling waves of media and medium, but, this I feel too strongly about, this and everything else that seems to happen in our flawed world, and seemingly hopeless breaths of 'freedom'  

As a side note/preface I recommend you learn about "Howl" and Allen Ginsburg - as well as the beatnik generation.
Bobcat Nov 2019
Have you ever thought of ending it all?
Facing your fear when your backs to the wall?
Crossing the bridge and paying the toll?

Nobody know's the feeling better then me
I fantasize while in bed, rest assured I can't sleep
Knowing it's me I fear is murdering me

Drowning my face in my own reflection
Disconnecting myself from other's connection
Removing my head from self-loathing dejection

Addicted to things that help me forget
All the memories and laughs that came and went
Everything that I've done that I can't just repent
Bobcat Aug 2019
Maybe the truth is I was never really meant to be happy.
Not in the sincerest form of the word anyway.
I'm content and I do have my happy moments.
But sincerely and truly happy?
I don't think that word was invented with me in mind.
apiwe Nov 2018
“Define me in one word”,
I said
Hope gleaming in my eyes and
an anxiety of the unknown
twisting, gripping, turning my gut.
You laughed lightly; beautifully flashing your perfect, perfect teeth
You ****** in a sharp breath,
Rolled your eyes back as if
the word was glued to the inner of your skull
Fidgeted.
A dry, humourless laugh croaked past through my lips
"Hot!"
You said through your slightly smirking lips
And I bit back
the floods that welled my eyes
the bile that rose up my throat
as I realised the humiliation that I had reduced myself to.
And The silence
punctuated all the words unspoken.
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