One thousand times I say your name
One thousand minds has essence changed
One thousand miles we are away
One thousand leaps that my heart makes

Every time we touch through the aether
Each time I relate to you so much deeper
Every time and time again I try
Each and every time to find

One hundred reasons to decline the calling
One hundred voices beg choice for remorse
One hundred lessons will I learn before
One hundred blessings be branded yours

In time this reeling feeling of what was had
In time you will descend from mind to hand
In time the scent of what was known
In time shall rest upon life's blissful throne

Ten times I behold the beauty
Ten times will I be bold before
Ten times this cold I shake from my crown
Ten times more will your name resound

Time is fickle
Time is taught
Time will settle
Time is short

One mind
One heart
One life
One chance

Nothing
But time
Is all we ever have
To love is to know
That which time
Under stands

There was once a blind man. Since he was born he was taught by religion to appreciate whatever God had given him. He did. He never saw beauty. People described beauty to him but he could not understand. One day he met a girl. He could tell she was beautiful from the way she talked and laughed. He understood true beauty. Her parents were not as accepting. "He's blind" "He's a *******, an abomination from the heavens. He never should have been born. He's a burden for his parents". They never met again. Yet, the man never stopped appreciating what God gave him though it caused him to lose the person who made him understand true beauty. God never once stopped to help him. As he lay on his deathbed,alone, he thought about the girl and about his disability. He was taught to love the thing that killed him; killed him on the inside. And so, he died, a mere shell of a man. Alone and unloved. Blind and cold.

I have an affinity for ice cream.
I can eat bowls upon bowls at a time.
I impress myself.

It's funny how the things you love grow from the things you never questioned;
Never appreciated;
Never even noticed.
Jumping out of the car the last day of school.
It was hot.
But it was California.
And it was home.
And my dog waited in the backyard.
Happy we were home.
And I stared at our pool and I wanted to jump in;
But I didn't have the courage
       Because I didn't want it enough.
And the refrigerator would be full of Drumsticks.
      (chocolate on mint)
And I would eat one or two a day.
And sometimes the ice cream man would come.
      (he was terrifying, but he had ice cream)
And I would stand outside and eat my ice cream because we weren't allowed to eat it in the house.
And my brother would finish quickly and go inside and play video games.
      (or run down the street to see his friends)
And I would try to be a cliche
      (just like in the movies)
And put on the roller skates I rarely used and try not to lose control as I shuffled down my driveway.
But I never had anything of value to do over the summers.
I never went to camp.
There weren't any summer traditions.
I had ice cream and board games and my dog and the pool I was afraid of.
I counted down the years I still had left at home
      (petrified of what would happen after)
And I didn't understand why mom wasn't as scared as I was.
      (1,2,3,4,5 years left at home; 1,2,3,4.....4 years left at home)
They never taught me how to ride a bike
And I never learned to love the water
And my skin never browned
And I had to stay inside
Except for when there was ice cream.
I could always go outside for ice cream.

Nineteen years of life.
My mother hates ice cream.
She tells me I'm just like my father.
My temper, my moods, my impatience.
Sometimes she says I get his savvy;
His ambition;
His humor.
Sometimes.
My father loves ice cream.
      (I love both my parents)
      (I think they love each other too)
So I took my father's ambition and ran across the country
Where I'm hopefully learning to be a good doctor
And I met these people that I love
      (that I call my family)
And we like ice cream.
We like ice cream and pie.
And going to the beach when the weather is nice.
And ice skating.
And coming home to each other.

I'd say I have an affinity for love;
I'd say I have an affinity for life
But you can't eat love and you can't hold life
Because both are fleeting
      (but so is ice cream).

Ice cream is the summer before 8th grade
When I spent all my time with a girl I loved and learned to hate.
Because we fought over boys.
Because that was middle school.
And 8th grade was horrible.
And I never ate ice cream.
And I never tried to roller skate.
And California became too hot.

So if I were to develop my own ice cream flavor,
And call 31 and tell them what it would taste like,
It would taste like a pensive child
It would taste like mint
It would taste like chocolate
It would taste like missing my friends
It would taste like missing my parents
And I would call it nostalgia.
And I would laugh while I ate nostalgia
Because the thought is absolutely absurd.

Life's taught me more than school has.
As a child, they taught me the basics,
Like 2+2 and "To be or not be?",
But never the advanced material
Such as the key to being happy?

Now as an adult,
Having taken a leave from school
And being forced to organize my own thoughts,
I realize that knowing the truth is only as good
As your ability to interpret it.
So all those years spent in government issue rooms
Learning government issue truths
Only taught me to see the world through a government issue lens.
But since the truth is now mine,
So is the spark of freedom from within.

It's 10 pm, Saturday night. I'm down in Jessie's place, just to join her in a lust filled night of sorts. Her blonde hair radiating from the lamp on the night stand. I carry her in my arms, both arms out resembling a father carrying a newborn baby except she wasn't my baby, not in that sense anyways. The tension in the air was so thick that even a butter knife couldn't spread the tension, but me and jessie had spread on our mind.

I could smell her alluring scent as I lay her down onto the bed, it must have been the thrill of daring to step into a boundary we had no knowledge existed. Love thy neighbour as heavenly quoted by men and women all around the world, I guess I was abiding by what I have been taught.

A little bit about Jessie, Jessie had these mesmerising blue eyes and had a husband, John,a fine husband, a brave husband who was filled with love.  John wasn't ever one to toot his own horns but he had the right to refer to himself in the third person, why wouldn't John be given the right? He's awesome and extremely brilliant at that. Nothing short of Superman or Einstein is what John has been told.

Jessie has been my neighbour for years, ever since I could remember. I drink a lot, so I haven't exactly the best memory of when or wheres. It was how we met, she was my neighbour and I was hers. Now we were closer, so close to the point that I could see her blue eyes staring into mine.

"Jess, I hope it's Ok, I wrote you ... a little poem. That's not...umm too weird right ?"

"Sure, as long as it's not something too eerie. Don't be too...what's that word?... Sappy" Jessie nodding in agreeance.

The words glided out of my lips like a gold medalist ice skater, with elegance and soft subtle seductive intentions.

'Love is like an ocean,
The sounds of crashing waves against rocks,
That mimic the sound of my heartbeat,
Love is more than an emotion,
Love is the echo of water dripping in a cave,
Love is a poison and a potion,
It is the pollen that fills the spring air,
Love can cause chaos and beauty
It holds onto your hearts and never lets go'.

I ended my recital by looking into Jessie's direction for affirmation of its quality, I couldn't actually pinpoint her ****** response but I'll try my best to capture it. Her eyes, rolled to one side in a condescending and demeaning manner but her smile was filled with some sort of ...actual craving for more.

My lips shot forward similar to the teens 'duck-face selfie poses', and I asked "So... do you ... like?".

Silence...

I waited for a little longer, or what felt like an eternity in my mind's timeframe.

Silence again...

I expressed my regret "Sorry, I'll recite another one?... Yes? "

"The sun and the moon,
You see they were friends,
But not everything twist and bends,
And even though the sun loved the moon,
He had loved her since yesterday's noon,
When she wasn't even around, he loved her.
Somewhere far away in the horizons,
It clearly never seemed to occur,
In her mind that he was thinking of her.
So every night, while birds and bees went to sleep
He died.
Just so her light could shine above his.
He died.
Just so her close friends, the stars could visit.
He died.
Just so the world appreciated her beauty,
Rather than his necessity."

Jessie still dressed in her singlet and underwear, quickly rose on two feet as a Chevrolet pulls up her driveway. A man with a neanderthal-like figure burst through the door yelling, ' I leave for business... and ya'll ******* in my house? ON MY ******* BED!!'

I tried my best to get past his door, because it was the only way I knew I would be able to keep my current state, the state of being still alive.
...

Jessie trying to explain everything with words, yes ...trying to use words with what clearly is a caveman.

'Darlin' we didn't do anything, he's just here yappin' on about something with moons and suns. I swear, I didn't do anything indecent'.

The caveman spoke again, in proper non-swearing, non-screaming English.
     'Sons? He was tryin' to put a baby in you? THAT'S IT!!.. Imma **** him!!'

That was the day I met John.

‘There are giants out in the hinterland,
There are monsters, horrible frogs,
There are birds of prey out there all day
There are streets of savage dogs.
There are bakers, making their ****** pies
From the girls found out on the street,
I think you’d better stay home and play
For you don’t know what you’ll meet.’

Janelle sat curled in the corner, with
Her eyes as wide as the moon,
She’d always led such a sheltered life
In a house, as dark as the tomb.
She’d never questioned her father, nor
The dreadful things that he taught,
He told her he was protecting her
For life out there was fraught.

She’d peer on out of the windows, see
The trees that waved in the breeze,
‘The sap on the lower branches will
Reach out, and capture your knees.’
She’d hear the wind in its savage bursts
That waited to take her breath,
And wondered why she would have to die
But the world outside was death.

She barely remembered her mother
Who had gone by the age of three,
A wistful smile for a fretful child,
He said she was drowned at sea.
But he often sat by a garden plot
When he said it was safe that day,
And planted a bed of forget-me-nots
To keep grave diggers away.

He’d only leave for a weekly shop
And he’d wear a coat and hat,
Dodging over some fences to
Avoid the giant rat,
The snakes were fierce in the supermart
And he said, ‘I do declare,
Don’t ever let me forget my hat
Or the bats will get in my hair.’

Janelle would sit by a mirror, and
Despair at her pale, white face,
She rarely got any sun on it
And her body was starting to waste,
Her legs were thin and her arms were skin
And bone, her ******* were small,
Her ribs would show in the mirror’s glow
She hadn’t much weight at all.

Whenever he’d leave her on her own
He’d be sure to lock the door,
‘We don’t want the zombies creeping in
And dragging you through the floor!’
He said they lived right under the house
But only came out at night,
And that’s when the cats would shriek and yowl,
They put up an awesome fight!

One day he went and forgot to lock,
He must have misplaced the key,
Janelle stood still by the open door
As the wind blew fitfully,
She took a breath, and it wasn’t death
But the sweetest of perfume,
The air was laden with scent that day
With the roses in full bloom.

She ventured into the garden, felt
The grass, so soft on her feet,
While the preying birds sat up in the trees,
But all that they did was tweet,
There were no bats, nor a giant rat,
Though a dog came wagging its tail,
And she saw a man in a crimson van
Pull up, delivering mail.

She finally flung her arms up high
In a moment then, and cried,
‘The world is wonderful, he was wrong,
He lied,’ she said, ‘He lied!’
By the time he arrived back home again
Janelle was gone with the wind,
But a policeman stood in his lounge and said,
‘At last! Well, do come in!’

David Lewis Paget

a lot of people I know
are never really happy
even when they’re happy, they’re really just sad

a lot of people I know
settle for just about anything
they’ll settle for emotional abuse and then settle for a deep addiction to feel better about the emotional abuse they’re letting themselves prostrate to
as long as it can still make “living” seem feasible,
they’ll settle
because nobody taught them how to ask for what they want,
so all this time they never ******* knew they were granted permission to feel worthy of getting what they want
because this world likes to think that nobody is entitled to feel worthy or to give into clarity

a lot of people I know
get off on damaging themselves
because blood and burns and bones and ***** and *** and pills and puke
are such disgusting in-your-face secrets
and this world knows it’s not acceptable to just blatantly write
“I hate myself” on your forehead with permanent marker for everyone else to see
yes, this stupid, guileful world we live in decided to trick everyone into believing that secrecy and suppression are what make a person
interesting and loveable

a lot of people I know
have this wicked demon inside of them
and they like to imagine it looks like a fiery nightmare,
red like terror
with a devilish face; poisonous eyes and a heartless grin;
a face that says “I own you”
just so that they can reinforce their ideas of worthlessness
and the self-pity of not having true control over themselves
when really, they can always have true control whenever they want

what *a lot of people I know don’t know is that
that wicked demon thing inside of them
is really just a flower wilting, starving, dying,
waiting, hoping, longing to be watered
and wondering what the **** they did
to be tortured like this

I keep your ring because it’s a fantastic memory
but what's a memory good for
if you’re never coming back*

It’s a mantra

Too many young people not living long enough
She says

It’s true

She tells me about how a boy
Was found dead in his car the day before
at a community college she goes to

She knows life is fragile
She feels it in the ache in her knees when it’s cold

Her eyes are painful
In their beauty
And understanding
Of the things our stupid bodies do

Our bodies are stupid

Insanely stupid

Cancer is the body attacking itself

And so often we can be cancer for ourselves

In the same way we love our livers
Just to feel numb for a while

Because I’d have never spoken to you
If I still wasn’t a little drunk the day we met

On dance floors
In bars
At house parties
We need something to give us an excuse to **** up

So we can blame it on the cancer
The kind that breaks the ice

This is me breaking the ice
This is me letting things go
This is me doing everything I can
To live for a living

I do a lot of stupid things
Just so I can tell a good story later

and in the end

Even if we get in our seventy
Punch out perfectly

It will not have been long enough

Just ask David
Who knows he will never naturally feel as good
As the coke
And the adrenaline pump of near death experiences

Tells me
About happiest day of his life
Was when his father for the first time
Taught him how to tie a fishing knot
Tells me his father’s hands were the kind of comfortably rough
That only certain men can earn
Rough from the labor
But soft enough never to hurt
Anybody

He regrets not being able to be that man

Don’t let a day go by that doesn’t remind you
That you are made from the same things stars are made of

That at any given moment
You can shine just as brightly

And please **** up
Shameless
Excuseless

**** up for the love
For the smiles

No one ever thought badly of someone who tried and failed

Trying is the bravest thing any one person has ever done

I dare you to try

Try to find something to live for

And live for it

And in the end
I’ll grab her crippled hand
Worn from the life that
Broke them down perfectly
Worn from the years of sign language
And the holding of heads

If we are going to be cancer to ourselves
Let the break down mean something
Break yourself down to make things better

She knows this
Has shown me this

Now I have something to live for
I live for the poetry
And the laughter I cause when I am an idiot
I try so hard to be an idiot
Work my body rough for the laughter

In fact

I live for it

All those young bodies
so trained, taught and tight
all put together for more than a few nights
only the elite athletes are allowed in the village
no partners, no spouses no one to investigate

Apparently that leads to lots of hook ups
Celebrations, commiserations, there's a lot of stuff to do up
So the villagers are supplied with fifteen condoms each
And all around, there is fun in heaps

You’re not worth my

time

anymore

I remember

when you were

late nights

sweet words

we went only

far enough

that

we couldn’t return

no one to blame

well

I blame you

Obviously

we would have been

fine

but you changed

it all too

much

too much

attitude

respect

you were penniless

when

it came to both

stil are

I’m not

sorry

only sorry that

you are

the sole

cause of

a frac

tured

friendship

I just wish

it was our’s

Men have always been taught
They need to be strong.
That real men don't cry society
Made them suffer in silence.

Men suffer twice as hard as women
Do, they feel that need to be strong
For us.
Isn't time to change that damaging message?.

Shouldn't we teach young minds that
It's okay to cry and not be okay?.
Shouldn't we say to men hey its okay
Not to be strong and share your feelings.

Men have feelings to even if they
Hide it and won't agree.

Poetry Was too good to be true,
Untill
It was the only cease,
For the clashing of two;
Brutish souls
From the cluttering
Of ruptures,
Of my subtle existence.

I wonder,
I still ponder.
I wouldn't be here
If not for you.

Do i loathe you
For giving me pain?

Or do i owe you?
For you taught me
How to form
Rhyming pairs
From my pain.

Once, what i used to
Believe it was you.
Now,
This is what makes me whole;
Poetry,
Is my home.

I missed you yesterday.
So I started folding paper planes,
But I knew they'd never reach you.
Aerodynamics         paper              really         up.
                          and            doesn't            a­dd

I switched to folding boats instead,
And they looked strong and sharp.
But they sank even
                                  faster
                   ­                         than
                                   ­                  my
                                                            he­art.
And, no one ever taught me how to sail.

Then, I tried my hand at paper cranes,
Because, I read somewhere,
"One thousand cranes are good for one true wish."
But I stopped after forty-three,
When I ran out of square paper and band-aids.

So, I folded up some stars instead,
But they weren't any good.
They didn't twinkle and they couldn't
                                                        ­          even
                                                  ­                          fall...
(and i stopped wishing on stars years ago).

I gave up on origami; I was never very good.
Paper only likes me when with pen.
Instead, I'll try to reach you
with the words I love to write --
poetry [and] promises [and] dreams
(and maybe a few apologies for loving you all wrong).
All I really wanted to say was,

"Baby, run away with me."

But I didn't think - the words alone - would move you.

Built up from the ground
I was here
Planted the first seed
To the master piece
Tucked away my pride
And came out of hiding
To grasp the hands of the man
Who sat against the wall
Not one to beg
Only watching
With a blank face
I couldn't help but to take his hands in my own
And lead him to his savior
Fed him tell he was full
Bathed him until he was clean
Taught him until he knew
His eyes where wise and kind
Reminded me of mine
I was young
So young
They told me I was naive
To let in a man poor
Said that he would take all that I had
But I had little
And it could be replaced
I knew he would never
His eyes told me so
His smile so shy
He had been set in my path
An angel for me to nurture
Because I woke in the morning
And he was gone
All that had been left
Was a crisp white feather
And a note that told me
He'd returned to his tower
Where he stood a top
To feel the winds power
I was not bitter
I had given all I had
For one that had less
And in return I had an angels eye
To watch over me

Dear Fairy Godmother

Are you real Fairy Godmother
When I was a child, my wishes came true.
So as I approach the twilight of my years
I have a proposal to put before you.
When I was a child I always thought of others,
At Christmas the joy for me was smiles on faces.
But always knowing that there was someone suffering
Amongst poverty, hardship and unsafe places.
My dad taught me to work hard, enjoy life
Knuckle down with plenty of elbow grease.
But at night I always prayed for everyone
Wishing and hoping for happiness and peace.
So dear Fairy Godmother, I know you have powers
To help all sick and suffering people, whoever they may be
This is my one and only wish, if it may be granted
To heal everyone, put smiles back and everyone pain free.

Are things really as they seem to be ? ......He was trying to explain his vision to a friend,  who was listening with a   Bent ear,  that kept some of the Truth from entering into the ear canal and properly vibrating the ear drum.     Thereby,  making for a somewhat distorted message ..    And the "Stirring-Vision" was explained and detailed as follows:     "There was this dog I had,   that instead of Barking ,  it meowed and wanted out in the Middle of the Night.    And,there was this Cat I had,   that instead of meowing,  it Barked and it wanted to jump up on people and wag it's tail.        There was this horse I had, that instead of wanting to come into the Barn at night,  it preferred to lay in the Mud-Wallow.    And,  there was this Hog I had,  that instead of Oinking and wanting slop for food,  would try to jump the fence to get to the Salt-Lick..    There was this Rooster I had,  that instead of crowing in the early morning,  it let out Bleats and desired to chew on cans.   And,  there was this goat I had,  that instead of wanting to climb  everything,  spent most of its day in the Hen house , as if it were an egg inspector.     There was this Parrot I had,   that instead of repeating words that were taught to him,  simply called out .."Please Milk Me".   And ,  there was this cow I had,   that instead of  wanting to have a peaceful day of chewing it's Cud,  spent almost all the waking hours,  Repeating every word it had ever heard.    Then,  I saw this snake , crawling away into the tall grass,  trying to get away before it was discovered.    Yes,  there's something about snakes,  just always trying to change things.   Slithering away,  as blame on changes, goes to another as he claims his credits  !

"VIRGINITY is a dignity until marriage" society taught
& I can see most of'em saving their virginity
Using their hand a lot !

Don't walk on my side of the street,
we do not want to see your feet
pounding down on this sidewalk.
We feel no need to  mix or talk.

Here are the rules that we send,
if you're not like us you're no friend.
So take this threat and do not stray
or with your life you'll surely pay.

We want our race line to stay pure,
we're happier when you are fewer.
So die you ******* do us a favour
for we don't like your cultures flavour.

These thoughts have always been in mind,
our message passed from kind to kind.
Children taught how they should hate
and never enter in debate.

We're happy just the way we are,
with bullets from a drive bye car.
Machine guns we can lock and load
Dead bodies lying in the road.

Why would we ever want alteration
and mix with lesser denomination.
We keep the streets clean as we sieve
sooner than integrate we would grieve.

It makes good sense that's what we learn
and then pass on when it's our turn.
Our children we do educate
and their forbears they emulate.

And on and on and on and on
and through this course so many gone.
They die because they cross a road,
or move out from their postal code.

We **** because he looks at her,
they die 'cause they decide to care.
Rather to **** them than to alter
we choose instead to maim and slaughter.

This is it, it's what you do
to those who do not look like you.
We must step forward and be brave,
and if they mix they choose the grave.

We are there to teach and show
for without this no-one would know.
Cultures they would amalgamate
then we would have no cause to hate.

Sitting next to a stranger, I wonder what kind of life she goes home to.

The positive,
A mother who is kind and gentle and reassuring,
Who teaches her to be her own person rather than those surrounding her.
A father with dark skin from the sun,
Dedicated to his garden and enthused to teach her about it,
And also to teach her about life and change and fairness.

The negative,
A mother who was adventurous and spontaneous and wondrous,
Who taught her that not everyone is guaranteed
Enough time to live out their dreams.
A father with eyes as blue as her own, but with less joy,
Fortunate enough to be where he is,
But wishing that life hadn't torn him from his other half.

I'm no less than a lion-hearted soul
Who lives by high heroic skills,
Courageously fights off jackals,
And rescues victims with flawless charisma

But I ain't less than a dignified warrior
The most Blessed Teacher, an exemplary
Has taught me
About a weapon
Which has been the answer to infinite sorrows
dreamy desires and unthinkable perils
I've used it to cheer up saddened souls
And to relieve the unrelieved

It is my light
It is the weapon to divert from hapless ends
it is the key to unlock the gates of Mercy
It is otherwise known as Dua

Every single night, death comes and sits by my side
Every  time I  shut my  eyes,  by his rules do I abide
He taught me the intricate balance of questioning and acceptance
He also showed me the innate frailty of structure and permanence
I understood the difference between wisdom and knowledge
Also why  one  must, without dismissing, eat  one's porridge
That a bat can carry numerous diseases without  getting  ill
That seasons can bring change in the colours of a bird's bill
That questioning oneself requires immense strength  of will

He taught me when to swallow my pride
Whom to  trust, and  in  whom to confide
That one must take great caution while vowing vengeance
What's done is done, and can never be undone by penance
Things I never would've learned  had  I  stayed  on  in  college
He showed me that it's but a myth, the idea we call "flawless"
That  bending  the  limits  of  one's  mind  can too be  a  thrill
That  it's  tougher to  bring  life  than  it  is  to  make  the  ****
How ever hard you may try, life's essence you  cannot  distill

I run in circles making sense of us.
But I still don't get it, and it's only making me hate you.
It's not your fault that I still think about you every night,
or that the smell in the air makes me want to point out constellations
with you.
And spend all day in your bed watching bad tv.

But really, the rain is to blame.
Because every time it falls I think of the day you walked away and how,
I couldn't cry until it stopped.
Like I was waiting my turn.
And by the way, I actually quite liked seeing you in my dreams.
At least then I was seeing you.

And honestly, I'm really sorry
that when you believed in me the most,
I just didn't know what to say.
So I lied until we stopped talking,
Like a get out of jail free card, except now,
You probably hate me.

While I'm here confessing, you should know,
You never meant a **** thing.
Not even a little.
And you never will.
I-was-using-you and you-were-a-mistake.

I heard somewhere "the truth will set you free,"
At least, that's what you taught me.
But I never believed in you because,
You always hated me.
And I hate the way you talk about me when you think I'm not around.
Yea, you're not fooling anyone.

Still, I love the way you say you love me,
Like I'm the best thing since getting high.
Because I could float around on your words all day.
But sometimes I think, we're getting closer to a problem,
Than we are to the solution.
And that chills me all the way into my marrow.

Also, baby, you should know, I love your arms around me and,
the way you make me feel like I'm the sun.
But I hate the way you lie,
and need, and sometimes disappear.
And I could never ever love you quite enough.
So please don't try and make me.

By the way, I think you're wonderful.
But sometimes I get scared that you don't love me anymore.
Because you're tired and I've been hanging on for far too long,
You can't drown with me anymore.
I guess, it's time to swim.
Or at the very least, tred water.

Have I mentioned yet that you're my hero?
I really wish I could be more like you.
But the thing is, I always thought I was.
And hearing what you really thought about me
broke my heart.
Maybe someday, I'll learn how to try harder.
Or care.

Before I go I need to clarify, I hate you just as much as
I love you.
But the love is the only part that will go on forever.
And I know,
The feeling is mutual.

In my left hand a joker,
In my right a Jack of Hearts:
A wild card that will break this game
And I know in these crimes nobody can claim-
Their hearts back.

The dealer, the eyes of Judgement
Offers me a King of Spades,
Which I could use to dig up my grave
After you withdraw your red knave.

I dig my nails into my palms
The game is on
the stakes are way too high
my queen of hearts is
reflected in your eyes

Thumb is rubbing on that
ace of spades
the hard way always taught
me
I should know my place
but I cannot resist your call

When I think of you now
My heart skips a beat
To think we are now
No longer complete

For we once were in love
Soul mates, one of a kind
That turned out to be a lesson
Fooled by true love in my mind

And now it has vanished
The warm love in the air
Now Whenever I think of you
Know I will truely care

Though what we were certain
Came to an end
For you were my lesson
And Id never pretend

Pretend you were'nt the greatest
So true and full of life
I really hope one day
Happiness takes over your life

For one day we will heal
And all will be good
And you will be happy
And me as I should

You taught me to grow
Came into my own
And for that I thank you
For itll forever be known

This now hippie soul
Has blossomed and grown
For you watered my flowers
And gave my heart a home

You really are a wonder
And still in love I will be
But life does move on
So let ourselves be free

Please take this to heart
For its my soul on a page
I really will miss you
But you're no longer caged

So please find your happiness
Thats all I ever hoped for
You will always be in my heart
And I hope you find more

She asked me if I missed him:

i miss him like the last train leaving from the station
with no money in my pocket,
just this long-winded poetry that has left its claws in me, in us.

he is everything i can't quite mold into metaphors
or syllables below the surface.
you were right when you said i was in over my head but i've been
checking these walls for a way out since the day i forgot how to feel
and he came to me like footholds carved in the cement.

i miss him like reading my favorite book for the very first time, i miss him like childhood and holidays and the longest day of summer, when the temperature rose like the fever i had broke when i was sick with butterflies and cheesy love songs.

Do I miss him?
The answer is yes.

She asked me if it was worth it:

i'm reminded of the passenger seat of your car
where you taught me it was okay to be  happy for no reason,
to be in love with the life you were given simply because there's things
like the smell of a memory and homemade pizza and the 20 questions game.

the way your eyes can tell stories
and your hands can plea bargain
and I knew from that day on that it takes true lovers to be silly.

If I could trade days of dreaming for seconds of spooning I would do in a hummingbird heartbeat because a day without you is like a year without rain, &
I'm living in a drought.
But the very moment your chest welcomes my shivering lungs, I can feel myself exhale, and the weeks of hydration suddenly become sacrificial.

Is it worth it?
The answer is yes.

You watched me grow up
Ever since I was a young buck

Taught me how to shoot a gun
and get into a fight and not run

Taught me if I hit the ground
To never stay down

Took care of me since I was young
Proud to call me his grandson

as he gets older
He is going to need a shoulder

To use a cane
to ease his pain

As he gets to his older years
he starts to downshift gears

when he puts it in park
It is going to be dark

Then he will turn on his headlights
and he will have heaven in his sights

when he is gone
ill drink to dawn

He will watch us from above
When we need it, He will give us a shove

Then when I lay down at night
I know everything will be alright.

You taught me of the poetry in science,
the chorus within a sea of new stars;
the Pleiades: a nursery of infants,
and the fossil of old oceans, is Mars.

You talked to me just like a human,
through the decades of languor that passed;
you taught me that a stupid question
is better than one never asked.

In your ship I was cast to the Cosmos,
into the faintest ripple of space-time;
to peel back the illusion of politics,
and to see it as but organised crime.

You filled my mind with clear knowledge,
that'll stay through my short lifespan;
more than facts, you gave me a shining example,
of the burgeoning qualities of man.