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Green Tea Oct 16
In the last hour I dealt with a lot
My own definition of why I look dour
Memories I hid six feet under the ground
Came emerging, grasping, and clawing at me 'till I'm found

Saying what's good for me, but my thoughts aren't considered
Ignored by a mother, a father, a neglected child
A child that mimicked Rapunzel locked up in a tower
A child that had gotten their smile devoured

Each day they get thinner, all hopes get hindered
Clouded thoughts, faded scars, and their music gets louder
A habit to cloak emotions, not being able to shed a tear
Refraining from going to beer, avoiding others out of fear

Consolation comes through rose lenses,
A gun held to their head but not packed with powder
I wrote this short poem because the deadlines in my life on top of dealing with emotional trauma and having no time for myself all at once ******.
The clouds poured that day
When my mother took me in the church
I kneeled in front of a porcelain Mary
Who glared down in righteousness
So full of herself, i thought.

She should be a figure of strength
A warrior even, made by her virginal status
But you are still porcelain, I snarled
A slight push
And to pieces you go.

In the fear of the Divine
I confessed my sins
Her smile still cold and smirk like
Laughing ay my earthly worries
Dismissing my lonely sorrow.

I looked up again in pain and anger
Smothered by fear and angst
To be met with my mother’s face
Who stood in porcelain
Looking down in righteousness.
Eva May 11
Mattel is proud to present their new doll
Barbie as a mom
Barbie as a mom let kids explore their nurturing side
Barbie as a mom comes with exclusive accessories like
A child
And a bottle to keep them quiet
Barbie can now look responsible and put together between her friends
Barbie can now proudly show her offspring and receive compliments
Enjoy all the perks that Barbie as a pet owner didn't have
Barbie as a mom can also wear matching outfits and upload them to Instagram
Wouldn't she look so cute?
Accessories don't have names
Doll cannot stand alone
Colors and decorations may vary
I always felt that my existence was an extension of my mother’s. The only reason she wanted me was to stay still and be pretty next to her. I was an accessory that didn’t have a voice of their own. She just wanted to play house.
And when I started to talk and developed my own personality, she was triggered. She did not sign up for that.
-🍎
Eva May 11
Happy Mother’s Day to the person who’s always with me
To the one who helped me become the person I’m today
To the one who taught me to treat others how I treat myself

Happy Mother’s Day to the person whose approval I craved
To the one who helped me understand that nobody will ever care for me
To the one who taught me that I’m a piece of garbage myself

Happy Mother’s Day to the person whose laugh I was scared of
To the one who helped me know that I’m undeserving of love
To the one who taught me to hate the mirror image of myself

Happy Mother’s Day to the person whose voice haunts me
To the one who helped me avoid responsibility and criticism
To the one who taught me reasons why I should **** myself

Happy Mother’s Day to the person who made me scared of thinking
To the one who helped me breed hate in who fundamentally am
To the one who taught me that others will always be better than myself

Happy Mother’s Day to the person who made feel guilty of my depression
To the one who helped me find innovative ways to hurt me without a trail
To the one who taught me that everything wrong is a fault in myself

Happy Mother’s Day to the person who made me a mom to my siblings
To the one who helped me get rid of my carefree childhood joy
To the one who taught me that in life one can only care for themself

Happy Mother’s Day to the person who isolated me of the ones I loved
To the one who helps me know my worth in negative numbers
To the one who taught me jealousy and that I'm hers  

Happy Mother’s Day to the person who fed me lies as facts
To the one who helped me befriend an ED princess
To the one who taught me that was the only way to be one

Happy Mother’s Day to the person who made me scared of accomplishing my dreams
To the one who helped me endure years of abuse and neglect as a mask for love
To the one who taught me that I could never be truly happy

Happy Mother's Day to the person who polluted the word mother for me
To the person who made me dread being a mother myself
To the person that I'm horrified of emulating and ******* other child's life up

Happy Mother's Day to my mom
This is poem I wrote for the woman that give birth to me on Mother’s Day 2020 after a big fight and a lot of crying. This represents that while many people are thankful for their wonderful mums, some of us don’t have a good relationship with our mother or aren’t close to our blood family or simply, not everyone has a mother. That’s okay. It’s that’s you, I send you love 💕
-🍎
Aaron LaLux Jul 2017
Family Reunion

Had dinner with my parents tonight,
this week was the first time I’ve seen them together in my entire life,

honestly,
and even though I left home at 14,
all of the blame,
can’t really be put on either them or me,

because my parents had broken up,
since long before I was woken up,
separated for so long,
I often wondered if they were even ever together,

I brought them together for my birthday,
October 2016,
my father flew in from The States,
we all met in Thailand where my mom lives,

dinner was difficult,
my mom is losing her mind,
while she’s sitting there spilling her soul,
my dad just sits there and asks meaningless questions,

my mother sitting there saying how she has no money,
how she has no family other than us,
how she has no shoes on her feet,
and no real place to call home,

like I’m supposed to feel guilty for that,
like I don’t send her money all the time,
like I wasn’t in Thailand just to visit her,
like I’m a man now so she chooses to blame me,

like she’s chosen to blame every other man that’s ever been in her life,

how many husbands has she had now,
4 or 5,
maybe 6 or 7,
I don’t know I’ve lost count.

Seriously,
ridiculous,

what do you say to your mom,
when you think she’s a ****,
and I know that might sound like a terrible thing to say,
but it’s the truth and I refuse to censor myself,

my,
self,
doesn’t even feel like me anymore,
not even sure if I’m a human let alone a man,

man,
the Atomic Family is more like an Atomic Bomb,

what a mess we’ve made,
and all in the name of what,
I have no idea,
honestly,

well,
it’s all probably a simulation always,
at least that’s what Elon Musk says,
“There’s a 1 in billions chance that we are not living in a Simulated Reality.”.

Makes me want to tell my parents,
that they are just part of a computer program,
but they’d probably just call me crazy,
and then just disappear…

∆ Aaron LA Lux ∆

from The new book '777' available worldwide on Amazon:
https://www.amazon.com/dp/1548700746
puritypuke Jun 2017
mommy I was born with the taste of blood in my mouth
tired from the moment i touched your arms
from fighting the fact that i already knew
i wouldn’t live to their expectations

i was raised with a fist made with steel
that came down on me in waves
mommy please i told you
i was tired from the fight

mommy dearest you are a fire bleeder
a destroyer of all the things i held close
i just want to sleep mommy please
i owe you nothing
you’ve taken everything
i think there's a word for it,
that explains the constant fear that i have
when you walk into the room
Tanisha Jackland Dec 2015
In a dream,
she follows me towards
The crevice of the world.

My mother, indigo raging
like a sharp scream within my brain.

I would never rid of her peculiar grin.
Her smirk, a missile, seeks out
the errors of my ways.

But life after cunning life,
She finds me settling at the root
then cuts me off.

I sit sustained here
in the moment composed
and waiting on her return.

She is the real culprit
of my shadow.
And knows this strange abyss.

I choose to keep her away
In the silence between my breath
To begin loving her from afar.

In hopes that she will one day
find herself without a curse
And out of her mad little box.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NqiUjM1Iyac
Madame Eleanor Jun 2014
The word is tainted. A word that means love, for someone there to defend. It's an honor from above. Yet for you it's a weapon. For your defense, not mine. So you can smile for the public and stab me from behind. Meaning eternal love and tenderness. Not meant for such hatred and excuses. I am a tool for your use, and its too easy for you to cover up your abuse. I hear you were supposed to nourish, not see how secretly you could watch me perish. You should've shown me support, but you preferred to break my heart-
So mother dear please listen. I'll take up some of your time for myself and then. You'll maybe understand-why this is happenin. Don't make yourself the victim, for we both know that is not who you really are. You've been the center of attention. But this time I won't let you go that far


Did you ever love me?-Didn't think so.
Society would say I'm just being dramatic, and it's absolutely horrific, for me to talk like this. Well for once, yes just this once I'd like an opinion. I would like all to see how you've really been. Disillusionment's a *****.
Madame Eleanor Jun 2014
Maybe you do love me, maybe you're only half lies. Maybe there's a small part of you somewhere that sees me. as more than just a means-to get to the things you think you need. And maybe what little you give is all you have when it comes to love. Maybe, just maybe. But that's not enough.

You made me think that I was not enough- never even worthy of your insufficient love. You made me spend my whole life believing I was faulty, inadequate, broken. With everything you did- actions and words unspoken.

Not good enough, smart enough, not skinny enough, not pretty enough. Not perfect enough to qualify by what was expected of us. And if I wasn't enough for you to love, someone else doing so would be undreamed of. To cut it short, you ****** me up. Now I have no idea who I am because-

You made me think that I was not enough- never even worthy of your insufficient love. You made me spend my whole life believing I should be hidden, stored upon the shelf. With everything you did- all your awful things kept to yourself.

I was the first you made, now I'm a mess you've made. If I believed you could change even now it'd be too late. The damage is done, neither of us has won. I didn't well enough serve your purpose and I'm still being punished for it.

I was promised my freedom for years and it was just a dream. Some constant reminder of my forced dependence you could dangle upon a string. All you wanted was to hold me back and all I wanted was to run free. Well I'm finally doing it without you, despite what you say I'm breaking through. For once in my life I'll be actually happy. Maybe for the rest of my life I'll figure out what it is to be me.

You made me think that I was not enough- never even worthy of your insufficient love. You would still make me think that I am faulty, inadequate, broken. With everything you do- actions and words unspoken.

No longer need I be scared of you, no longer shall I go through things no one should ever have to. You can't ever again make me feel like I'm not enough- because I don't care- I've found another source of comfort and love, and I wouldn't expect you to be there.
I wrote this shortly after moving out of my mother's house about how I hoped to be liberated from her negativity.
Sometimes Ally Jun 2014
you took away my childhood, for what?
wanting to get a fix, is that it mom?
open your door, you tell me keep it shut.
i wanted your love, not a ticking bomb.
i had to suffer because you were an addict,
raised by my sister until i was twelve.
no matter what, there was always conflict.
but look mom, you're holding the helve.
your childrens lives were in your hands.
for our father was gone and you loved your pills,
i cant tell anyone about it because no one understands
that our own mother couldnt even pay our bills.
so tell me mom, was it worth it?
your children hate you and you're alone.
were the pills and other drugs worth our childhood
and your happiness?

— The End —