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'Tell me I'm not in a dream. Or one of my trances.' She uttered the two sentences between gasps and seem-to-be quickening pulses. In midair, the tension between them kept growing intensely, trying desperately to meet its peak every second, before finally disappearing into the sightless distance above it. 'You're not,' the man said, his voice distant even when his face was only a few inches from hers, and cupped his free hands around her chin to calm her pale face. Her cheeks were warm in his palms, as if being burnt by hundreds of heaps of dying, yet ravenous flames. She closed her eyes, recording the touch of his perfect skin that seemed able to charm her endlessly since the first time she had fixed her gaze on his shimmering features. The angelic voice which accompanied it woke her a few seconds later. 'And even if you are,' he traced his soothing fingers along the reddening skin of her cheeks, 'I'll bring you back to life. Which is here.' He emphasised the last two words with a smile, a heartbreaking, infuriating smile - because of its astounding beauty, before tenderly touching his cherrylike lips to hers, making her start to tremble uncontrollably in deep confusion. She was, again, in the middle of these steep rocks without any aid to support her unstable weight, meanwhile the air over their heads began to twirl in circles, the weather around them getting pink and turning red in five seconds' time. She was lost. In someone else's magical world, with a rendition of one of The Beatles' hit singles from the 1900s or 1950s - she could not exactly recall which period of years it came from - playing smoothly in the CD player in the languid atmosphere of the living room behind them.
After a moment of enjoyment the kiss brought them he pulled back, before slamming his left hand into the tiny depth of his shirt pocket and taking a silver locket out of it. He threw a confident smile at her, and in one blink of his eye, the room fell dark. Petrified yet washed out by the sudden darkness among them, the girl let out a heart-rending shriek, which was followed by her heaving her body onto him, making his head hit the floorboards and the long necklace break in half. In seconds, blood-red light began to shuffle out of the center of the torn necklace, mingling with the air outside its shell and sending the woman into gradually-coming unconsciousness. She could now only see shadows, muttering and brimming all over the weather around her, and had not the strength to stand up apart from lying helplessly on the feathered carpet beneath. Before her, she saw how he started to rise and reveal his claws, and fangs, and bright red eyes above her. He laughed mercilessly. Instantly, she covered her sweating face with her hands - which now felt too shaky and she hated it, she loathed it very much - and brought out a despondent, lamented sound of cry. Her evil lover, at the same time, continued to soak up as much energy as possible from the change of circumstance.
'Again, I successfully, harmlessly tricked you,' he whispered this to her right ear. Around them, the horrendous wind potter faster and faster meanwhile their invincibly powered circles got bigger. 'You should thank me for that.'
'Th... Thank you for what?' She abruptly gathered her courage to confront him. If this meant that the end of my life was approaching, I would be ready, she thought silently.
'For letting me bound my ways into your life again, Em,' his angelic voice replied, and before she realised what was coming next, she wailed with all of her might when she laid her eyes on his real monstrous, vampiric face before her.
'I am indeed sorry to say that you - a clever and sanguine girl like you - was granted the chance to relish your life only momentarily,' he cleared his throat. 'You have always known that you could not outrun us at the end..., and so have your family.'
'No,' she mumbled, and drifted her gaze to his face - his now burning face. 'NO!'
'No,' he mockingly repeated her words, 'or YES, my dear?'
'Don't call me using that 'D' word, beast,' she put her best effort to yell at the top of her lungs, ''cos I am not your dear, and prefer death to becoming one of you!'
With those last few words, she scrambled to her feet, and stood up in just two swift movements. In her both hands, which he did not know were protected by the two stashes of garlic and one wooden cross in her dress pockets, were two shiny swords with special blades carved onto their two edges which were designated to **** vampires. Get rid of them. And their malicious world of beasts.
She stepped forward, and new powers began to regenerate inside her - despite the cries she felt start to roll into her heart, upon knowing that her beloved Joe had died. Joe had been deceased now. He was lifeless, and no longer able to help her here. She should never have ditched him. It dawned on her now, when everything was already too late to fix up. But she knew that she should never give up. Javier and his vampire family might have tasted every single drop of her other family members - and the rest of Ludirus town's residents - including her Joe, before she idiotically kicked him out for this pathetic, heartless beast who wore a disguise to displace him. She stretch the first sword - the one in her right hand - out to him. He took a step back, his eyes remained focused on her.
'You won't hurt me,' he pretended to be in pain, and in one and a half seconds, he transformed into the figure of the innocuous, blue-eyed prince once more.
'I won't be deceived by your looks, pig,' spat her, meanwhile her brain rummaged through a thousand ways to stick the two swords into his chest. That was, in fact, the only way to **** him. To drain his evil life out of him.
'You were, once,' he laughed, the sound of his devious laughter echoed in the very room, and later left it in such dread and wariness.
'Not anymore,' she bravely took a step forward and, without any further doubt, without caring about her being imprisoned for the rest of her life before getting her blood dried by the fangs of Javier's two older brothers, she stabbed the swords into his chest with all the energy she had left. And the effects sprayed out by the action were beyond any of her expectations. Thousands of blood droplets poured out of his body and onto the floor beneath her, flooding the entire living room and finally the streets outside the building until no litter, little scraps of food, and wheels of vehicles were seen anywhere in sight. Surprisingly, these endless streams of blood did not cause any floods, and rapidly soaked through every single layer of soil the earth had on its surface. The blood that had been consumed out of the poor people of Ludirus, the rural village in South Ireland, famous for its cruel killing rampage for several thousand years, where a group of aristocratic vampire ruled the lives of humans and their own species. But now, there would be no more of them. No more of their horrible treatments. No more of their sneaking-up-on-humans tricks they secretly did at night - to savour human blood, which was lawfully removed from the protecting-human law renewed every year. It was all a lie. Yeah, a lie. A lie that allowed Javier's family to approach Lucinda's family members to be victims in their lifelong killing spree. But now, there would be no more vampires, thought Lucinda as she kissed her holy cross and sets of garlic affectionately. There would be no more blood sacrificed to fend for those beasts' hunger, even though it meant for her to live alone. Live on her own, as she no longer had anyone around her to turn to. To soak up her tears when she was scared away by the bunch of vampire kids on the way home from school. To calm her with her melodious chords at the piano. Mother. To serve her the best spaghetti in the world as a reward for her outstanding grades at school. Sister Sheila. To rub her back and put her to bed at night - at the age of sixteen! Father. Luce's tears just would not stop while she kept counting her memories, as every single shadows of her deceased beloved came back to her. And finally, the sight of her Joe lying his tired head on her lap, and reading out loud to her his newest poem he composed at the office for her. All were gone. Dissolved into the ravenous sea of blood in the guts of those psychotic, simpering, abusive monsters.
But she was satisfied. She felt, somehow, proud of her heroic, or at least, brave actions. She had taken control of her fear, and that was one of the most important characteristics a woman should have to succeed in this cruel world, her father had once said. Now she could prove to them all that she was a newly reborn person, and was no longer the old Lucinda. Lucinda Hale who had always been the 'tail' of her sister while they were six and four, and the little, spoilt daughter of Jim and Aileen Hale who could not hold a plate properly in every banquet their family was invited to. Luce knew that she was now completely a stranger to her family. She squinted her eyes shut, trying to imagine how nice it would be to show off her new self to her late family if only they were all alive with healthy pink cheeks now. In her own peace and this momentary solitude, she found herself sinking onto the floating warmth of blood, but strangely, she did not fall. She did not plunge into the limitless red colour underneath, and remained flowing above it while her tears started to crawl out of her eyes. She did not know, and did not want to know how long this remained until she eventually felt the rough surface of the bearskin carpet again. She woke up with a dizzy head and quickly threw a hasty look around her living room. The prince, beastly Javier had vanished. Oh, there are his remnants, she thought and unconsciously, chuckled quietly to herself when she came to take hold of several white, lifeless bones laid in front of her. Then suddenly she understood what had just happened. The legend in that book she had borrowed from the library transported the knowledge back into her mind. All the members of Javier's family had been crushed now. They were dead. Her sacred tears, which came to mix with the blood flood, became the cure for all the people who had been ****** by the vicious vampires in town. They were now freed, and reawarded, although still mortal, but yet a very rare, elusive, privileged chance to be alive once again and start their lives all over again. They must not be far from her now, thought her. Without any further wait, she raced out of the room, and wormed her way onto the street.
And here they were. The streets of Ludirus were no longer deserted. Traditional markets with a thousand-metre long series of antiques roamed them, occupying every single tiny space provided to place racks containing jewels, valuables, and gold pots. There were also shelves of books about cookery, traditional healing potions, sports, literature, and anything else someone ever wanted to buy. And then she spotted a book with a bright yellow cover, entitled 'Love Poems: From 1900 to the Present, by Joe Grogan.' Her breath seemed to stop at that time and suddenly, before she even got the opportunity to touch the cover of the copy in front of her, two warm arms wrapped her waists and turned her body around to face the owner. Once again, she was at a terrible loss for words. 'Joe,' she mumbled.
'I am,' the writer nodded solemnly. And just like the evil Prince Javier had done before, he pulled out a beautiful silver box and opened it. Inside, two rings shined beautifully before their eyes, radiating a smile as bright as the one seen on others' faces among them. A smile that celebrated the comeback of their long-lost independence. Before she knew it, Joe knelt before her, and presented the ring upwards onto her.
'What would you like to do first, Madam? Marry me, or buy my book?' He grinned and held both her hands. Before she could answer him, he inserted her left ring finger into the perfectly made ring, and helped her right hand fasten his own ring onto his finger. She lifted him up and wrapped her hands around his neck.
'Do you have time for both, Sir?' She rubbed his smooth cheeks and kiss them before looking deeply into his hazel eyes.
'Absolutely,' he answered firmly, and scooped her whole weight into his arms and spinned her around. Luce could no longer say anything when a sudden wave of happiness washed all over her, and became even at a more unfathomable loss of words when she caught the sight of her beloved father, mother, and her sister, all alive, start approaching to deliver their congratulations. Here we are, she thought with a satisfied feeling. We were, are, and will always be meant to be together.
One last time, I hold your hand,
Knowing that tomorrow will never come,
I've given all a man can reasonably give,
But you are lost into another time and place.

There were the days when we did laugh as one,
When everything seemed so fresh and new,
When I could feel you breathe the life into me,
And I was proud to tell the others you were mine.

But sometimes others darkened swift our lives,
Told lies and led deceptive forces to destroy,
Then after all was left were memories no longer real,
And someone cried and carried such an empty  heart.

When I awoke and no longer felt  your body warm,
Or, smelled the sweetness that is all but only you,
My world spinned manic  out of cosmic control,
With tears that fell like others a million times  before.

So, one last time, please let me hold your hand,
And say the words that meant so much to me,
To gaze upon your face and altered countenance so,
While you walk swiftly unto another we both know.
Christian Ek Mar 2015
Your a jaw breaker candy because you dropped my jaw.
My head spinned back like an owl as you circled me.
Long nails tingling down my spine.
A voice that could ****** any wild animal into submission.
Her body heat made me sweat.
Her intimidating attitude was ****.
Her reading glasses foggy.
Her coffee breath wasn't off putting but rather enticing.
She was a blue moon and i was howling for her, I was bound by her power.
Heavy Hearted Mar 2023
There is a magic dragon
 That my father and I know
It circles me then glides back to him
No matter where we go.

 Inside this invisible little beast,
 Part of my dad does stay
Immortalized, by magic art
please never go away.

Upon these words dragon's wings hang
ontop the lonley wind,
supported- gliding endlessly
Through life's chaos its spinned.

With every spin circling back,
To the begninng, till each end....
Each time another battlecry -
This Heavy heart's hardened.

May I be rendered, in truths light
When deception's shadow's tall,
& may that dragon help me find
A way back through it all.
Puff the magic dragon, lived by the sea... 🎶
Inspired by the famous nursery rhyme of the same title.
Amrita Tiwari Mar 2022
You have your eyes on someone else
I am happy gazing at the shell
It's a nagging zeitgeist, well
I tried to keep a pretence
Could you tell?

I spinned in endless circles
Blinded by the sparkles
Thought there will be tell-tales
Measured self on  bad scales
Contemporary delusions hail
Careful calculations also fail

I am trying to move on
From something
That was only drawn
In my thoughts, which pawned
My heart, which still prolongs

Tell me
What should I do?
Everyday I am filled with blues
I could throw this forever
If I knew a little, how to!
Or if I had the slightest clue!
in 2012 i experienced an incident with a rifle. my friend spinned it around and hit me in the face. the hit was hard enough to break my nose and make me fly backwards and land on the back of my head.
after that i started having seizures. cluster seizures which mean seizures back to back. they have to be stopped by iv or i can go into status epilepticus meaning continued or back to back seizures that can **** people. there have been several times where my heart has stopped or i stopped breathing from it. its hard to live with. soooo many pills, and doctors, specialists to help diagnose me. just about a month ago i was diagnosed with tbi (traumatic brain injury) before i was diagnosed i was so upset with everything. my health my relationship, my family problems. it just piled up so i decided to numb myself with drugs and alcohol. i no longer can do that because the last time i did i woke up in the hospital with alcohol poisoning. i have right hemisphere disfunction and it effects my motor skills, speech, memory, decision making, confusion, and at this point the doctors say that my memory and confusion is dementia. sometimes i try to tell myself i don't need help, im fine, i don't need anyone, or that the doctors made a mistake. but they didn't and that was proven to me today when i saw my eeg, and mri.  i have built up white matter in my brain. and it only gets worse . i can never regain anything ive lost but i can learn how deal with it and move on from now. i can never be independent in the part of just living alone. i would like to marry the man of my dreams but i don't think i want to put him through all of this. he would have to take care of me when i get sick, and i get sick often due to my weak immune system. one hit in the face and my whole body went out of whack. we also recently discovered that i have a bundle branch block in my heart which means it is a condition in which there's a delay or obstruction along the pathway that electrical impulses travel to make your heart beat. i have a dog that can smell my auras which are mild seizures like warnings that a big one will come. but he can only do so much . squeeze under my head and bark for help.
im sorry its long i just had to let it out and finally saying it out loud really hits me. like this is my life... from now on until i die i will deal with this.
preservationman Mar 2015
A night where all creatures became confused
It was humans thinking the world was their excused
The moon seemed to turn beyond the norm
It’s the earth giving the world a warn
The bible of Revelations stated what was too come
But was this the moment of gloom?
Scientist couldn’t figure out
Electronic equipment offered no theory in what the phenomenon was all about
The people on earth panic and cries in shout
Now even the Meteorologist couldn’t figure out
However the moon seemed to smile
It was all through during while
A moment being sudden
It was causing human mood swing making personalities toughen
But wonders on everyone’s mind of when
Was this God’s warning on the Earth’s End?
Tallie Feb 2018
what if we were flowers
floating in the wind
nothing special, no superpowers
we'd be up in the air where we twisted and spinned
what if we were trees
our branches stretch far and wide
we could live deep in the jungle where no one ever sees
a place where only the sky cried
what if we were leaves
constantly changing our skin
getting stepped on by thieves
laid upon the path on which we begin
A child found a book of war ,from hay where her mother and father lay dying .
From page to page she turned ,
each page of sage dripped in blood and gore .
Each page spoke of vengeance’s sharped sword ,
each page of sorrow and death ,
each page of sabered ****** hand .
Call of tyrants from mountains came to fight forever in Odin halls ..
The weavers witch spinned and cut the thread and cursed the land .
and goblets of blood of man slept till nevermore .
Spin spin tales of woe ,
Spin spin the weavers go and blood and goblits forever until
the curse is broken .

Gods poets spoke of love and peace to take the darkness that stalked
the land one bright light to guide them,
so even God in his mighty love might not judge them .

Spin the thread the tales of woe ,
Spin the weavers gold and blood ,


and goblits until the curse is broken .

And the fires burnt and furnise fired for shells of war,
that fed the cannon and muskit .
For King and country ,
For Cromwell’s army ,
to over throw the country .

Spin the thread the tales of woe ,
Spin the weavers gold and blood ,
and goblits ,
until the curse is broken .



Two lovers with beating hearts ,
one left for King and Country.
He looked
into her eyes ,
“;don’t be sad when I have gone for you’re sadness forever take you .

Then over the top to the four winds blown   ,
over the top for King and country .

.” So weep beside the willow tree ,
     for letters of love for me .
For where flowers grow our hearts will go ,
See the flowers they grow
beside you .
and though the trench in death you lay my heart will forever find you for  a telegram man arrived today as i was picking flowers .

The girl closed the book and placed a flower in ,
then danced around a young willow tree for now the curse was broken .

Dance around the willow tree ,
plant a flower of love for me ,
for now the curse is broken.
Connor Reid Apr 2014
Corroding off in wreckless control
Repeated lines stretching infinitely in ambiguity
Sharp muscle relaxant mistakes
As we career off the road
Into a ravenous singularity
We are unforgiving, cynical yet synthetically joyous
Quick to pardon
Whipped with a gold leash
Delicate, leaves, Celtic music
Rubik's cubes in our throats
We're ready to let love in, willing
Nova tech, drunk masks and indication
Indignation, we clutch, we fail
Partial to conditions
Stones out of focus

Accelerate
Engines bleed borders
You are the free way
Impotent with quartz remnants
Ruins to our fantasy
You hide history
Covered in my burrow
Braking until necks break & bags burst
Powdered hair, liquid lips
Let's drive home
Go beyond the limit
Break each others bones
And crush our entities
Suffocate on suffixes
Her explanation acquits the doubt
As we appear closer than we may actually be
Industrial stacks stretch towards invisibility
Letting go of their concentrate
Gelatin mind
levitate into connection

Cups turned upside down
Entrapping ego in near vacuum
Aqua ducts bouncing off feline eyes
2 & a 4
Perfect air in a foreign atmosphere
Spinned on axis, ways to conduct
Your supply
Secede madness
Eternal order
Lungs sharply inhale with uncertainty
Hydroplaning your attempts at adultery
Decision was never your thing
Unmoving at every turn
Passion with objects
Reactions flicker between humility

It gives gifts
Your skin melts to the touch
Chocolate in magma
Molten sound deafens drench
Jealous mess, dividend
Hugging and dripping black with stability
Back, holy scripture written with integration
Sealed with treachery, acetate photography
Capturing clear innocence
Boredom and sinfulness
Spiked militant
Pencil drawn neuroses, veil
Bow down to schematics, we're radar
Sonar structure solar
It's all part of the process
Bobbie Bachelor Dec 2014
She walked outside to get a breath of fresh air
She saw that there was snow on the ground
But she didn't have a jacket on
Just a skirt
With nylon leggings

The wind started to blow
And she felt the snow
Blow her around

And then it stopped

She shut the door
And went back inside

She walked over to the computer
And sat down in a wooden chair
And kind of shivered a little

As the snow was melting on her hair

She moved her head back and forth really quickly
And shaked the snow off of her hair

I don't look pretty

she giggled

She kind of smoothed out her hair
With her hands
And curled it around her fingertips

Then she felt kinda hungry
And left her chair
And started sliding a little

She got to the refrigerator door
She looked around
And there was a mountain dew

Yeah

She turned around quickly
And was spinning
And got a little dizzy

She drank her mountain dew
And burped

I'm drunk

She staggered back to the wooden chair
And set her pop by the computer
Which she's not suppose to do
But always does anyways

Hmmm
Hmmm
Hmm
Hmm
Hmmm
Hmm
Hmm
Hmm
Hmm

She clicked on a video on youtube
And clicked out really quick
And made a sour face and squinted

She typed something else in
She looked down the screen
Scrolled down
Double clicked

Waiting for it to load
Clicked out
Didn't load

She kinda got a little upset
And grabbed her mountain dew
Got up from the computer
And smashed her knees against the stupid computer thingy

Spilled a little mountain dew on her skirt

Whatever

She grabbed her mountain dew
Held it by the inner tab
And spun around slowly

Didn't cut herself

Spinned around again
Heart racing
Didn't cut herself

Slowly took her pointer finger out
And started drinking again

She walked into the living room
Going
Hmmm
Hmmm
Hmmm
Hmmm

Hmmm
Hmmm
Hmmm
Hmm

Sat down on the couch
With her kitten in the kitchen
By the computer

She turned the tv on
And watched spongebob squarepants

It was in the middle of the episode where mermaid man was saying
Evil
Eeeeevil

She just sipped her mountain dew quickly
And didn't swallow it right away

Then she rubbed her feet against the ground
And her kitten
Hopped away from the kitchen
And waited by her feet
She looked down

Made a face
And placed her foot on top of her kitty's head
And the kitten backed off and bumped into the tv

While the episode of spongebob was still playing

She changed the channel
Started kicking her feet
Back and forth
Without touching the ground

She looked outside
And the snow was blowing harder
So she got off of the coach
Opened the door
And felt the snow blow against her skin again

She shivered again
Shut the door
Shaked her head
Brushed down her hair

Ran into the kitchen
Then ran back upstairs
To her room
Turned around
And the kitten was at the bottom of the steps

She shut the door quickly
Fell to the ground
And looked under the door
And saw the kitten
She came close to the door
And pawed at it a little
Then hopped back down stairs

On the last step
Tumbled

She's left alone a lot
That's why she's so strange

She felt her stomach make a hungry noise
She was craving tacos

I wonder if there's any leftover tacos from yesterday in the fridge
She walks downstairs

Slides to the fridge
Kitten hops away
She opens the door

Nothing

She shuts the door
Slides back to the computer
Sat down

And started to feel really bored
Then got out of the chair
Walked over to the door

And felt it with her hand
Without opening it

It was cold out
Cadence Musick Jun 2013
Darling my darling
i sometimes think of writing a letter to
you everyday
even though you are never far away
i sometimes still dream of him
but no matter,
this heart is yours.
remember when we first met?
a chilly winter night,
visiting the Petco cats
and playing nintendo
while your record player spinned.
Seems surreal now.
like that time
you laid yourself as a
blanket over me
and we watched outer space
on dewy grass
with hands clasped.
you spilled your secrets to me,
whispered them into my hair,
where they nestled and found warm dark
comfort there.
your lips
oh your lips
how not even the gods could forget
such two perfect
bows that tremble,
opening gently over mine.
somehow you breathed life into me
and that was the end to my
sad
ghost story.
so
darling
my darling
thank you
for unlocking something inside
of me
something that never stops
singing.
Icarus Fragmenti Aug 2013
Two conflicting thoughts, but three inflicted hearts, and one convicted by the time of the clock. His heart stained by the sharp pain of a reclaimed memory. His heart he gave to her and said it was her’s to bleed. She gave it back to him and said it wasn’t hers to see. He gave his heart away again, to a girl who needed a friend. Then the friend accepted it and, gave up hers to him.

Time flew by in blurs, their sweet words slurred and reverbed in his mind, which was refurbished. He referred to his past as garbage, recycling out the skirmish thoughts. Her allure had him squirmish and nervous, out of his box. The mask he used to speak of, the one that claimed to defeat love, had reached it’s peak of deceit of, his mind. All this time he had told himself to hide, but the feeling of her skin had made him feel so alive. That she broke down all the barriers that he had stacked up high, by means of drugs and alcohol, death and suicide.

He stays committed mainly because to her he is addicted, permitted to admit it, he’s pitted against his visions. Omitted, acquitted forgiveness. Promises transmitted into words, but verbs are quickly emitted. But the war that’s waging in his head is something truly wicked. The **** he puts up with constantly has pushed him to his limit. He will never give in, to the sin that had him spinned out, from the end to begin.

She was everything he needed to get him through the day. She became his routine, a content place he chose to stay. But the very thing he wanted had seemed to come back into play, but they settled on these subtle terms, rules unmeant to break. She respected what he had, though she still seemed so sad, and he was mad at himself for not appreciating what he had. The bad thing is the the what if factor. What if she said yes, would it even had mattered? Could he really make her happy? Would he only make her madder. He can never talk about it, and risk a kick to the bladder. Talking at her getting madder. “Really wasn’t supposed to add her, couldn’t out her anymore, love her more then mass does matter. We chitter and we chatter, then I hit her with the truth, she accepts it but I’m guessing that there’s no hole in this loop.”
Onoma Nov 2019
the karmic record

of you be-spinned--

till arthritic and achy.

Buddha pops a *****,

sliding in.

good on the music of

satisfied parties.
TigerEyes Mar 2014
The little Princess always said...
"I'll meet you on the other side
after the world has spinned around a million times--"
it was the the story I always read
just before you went to bed...
there was the sea, the sun, the stars, n' the moon
in a faraway land...playing a melody...a special tune
in a story..
made up for you
there were Elves with funny ears,
a Prince, a Fairy that laughed so much
(she was prone to toss her lunch)
there was the hiccuping frog
who always seemed to fall off his log
n' the Princess was always you...
who granted wishes
that came true.
Just before she fell asleep--
after the fairy had kissed her cheek...
The Princess always said,
"I'll meet you on the other side...
after the world has spinned a million times--"
© 2014
POSSIBLE Feb 2016
This depression gives the impression

that the expression of a burnout is…

me

living and loving intently free

prison depends on jailhouse babies and legal **** ; weee!

we must organize expression of a quantum size, to re-realize more food and supplies

its such a surprise that id be thinkin this, engineering instruments with a pnuematic hiss

geared towards the questioned technocolypse….

“…well here on the graph we read an elipse, a parabola, and a demonic kiss…”

But whats this?

im’ channeling some quick quips ; alluring as a brothel’s contained hips with the open smile of sideways lips….

my daring is preparing all the world for destructive repairing

cause the frogs and the rains are staring

at this desolate earth

a burnt out hearth

with smouldering ashes, speaking of a crying birth

while the midwife is sick and shy with little self worth and curse; because a as a witch she doth rehearse

while the moonlights smiling and the phones texting and dialing

“Whats wrong?”==”Are you ok?”

“…but come on?”==”Is there any other way?…”

[please oh please let me stay in this old and bloodied fray; where the battles had axes and handles

where there were stories of travels, to faraway places leading to exotic geographic stasis]

caught in the moment of thought, a moment of fright…

until we stop and put a light to these wierd words

we wont know what the birds have heard….

Click crshhh….*

BURN little match like the wood you are!

combustion of suggestion set ablaze from afar

a flame throwers burned hands

while the pained sower , frustrated, changes plans

because in the end one one really understands

the torment of a floment spent eternally alone in atonement.

(=purgatory)

Where all you want to do is get on the phone, external validation felt at the tone,

but it really ain’t ****

because you are crying while its dialing and your out of minutes…

so check this bits of imaginary meaning and ****

ponder and quit

when you seek to make amends and introduce fake men to our imaginary friends

i keep on thinking…keep on blinking

wishing for emotion to extend

SO I think the words

AND I write whats heard

but haven’t YOU heard

from the little ittie birdie whos been certainly flying, singing and free

that im not mentaly sturdy, quirky, and ******…

LOGICALLY

iknow

sophistry

ishow

emotionally

Hol…………­……………loW

I guess it just goes to show that when you at home your never reallly  alone, because to you, the voices do drone
about

how much sandpaintings and ***** can be blown,….

away with a CLICK…BoooM

beaten with a stick….AH

shoed a away with a kick….

START my heart! I know better than this!

so I better think quick

before i stay mentally sick

as an alien who has forgotten it’s world

got on a roller coaster; spinned and whirled

till im spun and twirl’d

on this game we call life, with simple **** and complex hype,

hives of concepts meanings and thoughts….to derive daily quit failing

i miss haley :( , even phailee….

so I ask little voice in my head , since everyone has left will you stay instead?

come a little closer and hop into bed

so we can share the warmth of one last self-referencing infinity loop….

…..BEFORE i wake up and forget whats ashore

because im out at dream sea with clouds free and galore

but as soon as i stop thinking i know ill return to the me that i abhore

with pain and saddness deranged

omit school so classless and strange

as a failed out actress sick with mange.

but i know these negatvie moments are just flashes , to make me appreciate self motivated happiness…

so here you go

its me on the page, skelly the sage….

i just hope to god that I could set the stage 4 nirvana or heaven, we reach zion in seven

6

5

4

3

2

1

I love you.

Its over

i won myself over

like a sad kids redrover

thanks for letting  m3 share these freestyle thoughts i kant bear

im  alone no more, i seem to have exhausted my sadness store

and after venting i realize…. its a lot ******* bettor.

“Isn’t it eeeire howletting yourself feel sad

can make you feel soo much better?”
Spencer Dennison Jan 2015
We are but leaves upon the wind,
folly is our master and we, the slave,
never believing our story's been spinned
until we go smiling into our grave.

Our bliss is our youth, our youth, our bliss
and we revel without knowing why
but there is no morale to all of this,
choice truly is the greatest lie.

None us will ever reach the stars
or the heavens or anything up above,
we serve our lust in clubs and bars
but we go our lives without serving love.

...and if just rhymes could change the Earth,
maybe then, we would have some worth.
But we will not find it, here nor far,
because worthless?
That is what we truly are.
Kaja May 2019
Love wrapped me up
Into silky veil
And spinned me around
So gently
I forgot the world around me
Exsists

It made me dizzy
So much
That the only thing
I still have on my
Mind
Is his lovely face
30.05.2019
belle May 2016
love,

months swiftly passed
since that enchanted night
i never wished to end,
as it was then that i first
laid my hands,
and my eyes,
unto yours.

i have been wildly spinned
throughout the dance,
and eventually,
throughout your world.

it was those dazzling eyes
that hooked me most
without an utterance of a word.
it was those precious gems
that connected us,
that made me fall in love
with you more.

but only then did it hit me,
i didn't want to fall in love.
what i wanted was to grow in love.
and you don't make me grow.

i know and i accept
that letting you go
and setting you free means
letting you love someone else.
but love,
it is that i am in doubt.

i did not dream of a love
full of doubt, full of lies,
and overflowing with fear.
i did not dream of a love
full of questions
and full of secrecies.
or maybe,
i just did not dream of a love
with you.

i could not stand to feel that
you are mindful of my pretense
but you smile and refuse
to believe i am lying to you.
i could not stand to feel
the sadness i give you
that you hide
and that i am inept to solace.

i am afraid that one day
i might wake up to see you
happy for being with me
but you don't see the same.

love,
my feelings did not
gradually fade.
it vanished in a snap
and i am afraid
it might be back, too,
at once.

i doubt you accept me again
when my love returns,
or when my love is sure,
and i doubt i might
let you go again.
but by that time,
if you've found the rightful one,
let me apologize for being unable
to control my feelings back then -
my feelings today.

honey,
there is nothing wrong with you,
nor is there with me,
but there is with us.

love,
you need not to hurt anymore,
so for the last time,
i love you and good bye.

i loved you.
good bye.
Isabelle Nov 2017
Tell me
The first time you met
How your stomach spinned
How the butterflies danced

Tell me
The first time you talked
How you fidgeted on your own
How you stuttered with every word

Tell me
The first time you touched
How your senses aroused
How your heart wanting to burst

Tell me
The first time you dated
How the billion of stars aligned
How the lovely moon smiled

Tell me
The first time you kissed
How time momentarily stopped
How magical, ephemeral it felt

Tell me
The first time he forgot
How betrayed you felt
How petty it seemed

Tell me
The first drop of tear
How you tried to wipe it away
How you acted okay

Tell me
The first time he lied
How hard you cried all night
How you forgave the next light

Tell me
The first time you fight
How he screamed so loud
How you hide like a child

Tell me
The first time he tried to break up
How your heart almost stopped
How you shamelessly begged

Tell me
The first time he walked away
How you cried in despair
How heart broken you've been

Tell me
The first sign of fading away
How the fire slowly loses it’s spark
How the story unfolds a twisted plot

Now tell me
How nights were so long, sleepless
How tears were almost blood
How dumb and numb and doomed it felt

Now tell me
How you handled the pain
How you remain “in-sane”
How you stitched every broken part

Now tell me
How time has nothing to do with it
How moving on was so hard
A state of mind, a choice

Now tell me
The moment you let go
The moment you forgive
The moment you walked away

-of memories
-the people specially him
-from the past, the pain

Now tell me
How freeing it felt
How the burden was lifted
How the heart was relieved

Now tell me
The moment you smiled again
The wicked grin “i’m over it”
The moment you’re living again

Now tell me, after him
The first smile
The first life
Ahh, much sweeter, better, genuine

Now tell me
That you learned a great deal
That you are stronger than before
That “first love” will always be special

Now that you’ve told me your story
I know, i know, you’re over it..
At some point in our lives
we need to be broken just to be whole again. First love will always be beautiful..

Surprising that i was able to write this long one, right now, while at work :p
Cutezeni Mar 2023
No love song comes to mind
No poem brings a rhyme
When I think of you
It’s sunsets and coffee
and cold breeze and warm sweater and shorts and sweet toffee like
Your lips that failed to touch mine
Your hands intertwined with mine
Walking nowhere in mind
Having you beside
Is like turning my world upside
Down and about we go
In alleyways and car rides we flow
I only met you once but its like
I know you you were meant to be mine
But it’s fine if you leave
Don’t stay another day, just release
I shared a moment with you, it stopped the time
The world spinned but I stayed grounded
Held onto to the dunes
Tried to drown out the noise and listen to your words
They flow like tunes
I knew you were different but I don’t know why
It’s never been like this with another guy
Would like to see what you’re about
I bet it’s stardust of cosmos and magic and art
I’ll do my best to keep up and to restart in part
Looked at you with infatuation but there was a longing for belonging
Would you hold me one last time again before you leave for good?
I don’t want you to go but I think I understood
You don’t see me this way I hoped you would
I think i may be naive but I’m not a fool
Maybe a fool but not misunderstood
This sliver of hope at the beach
Is turning to be out of reach
And it would be sad to see you go
But wait and hold me one last time
When the time stops
And this poet fails to find a rhyme.
Seldom people want what you want and that’s a fact of life
The passing of frends comes from the coming of news
They will leave u alone wanting to sing the blues
I just recently lost my best frend to the spec of dust he calls his girlfrend
I hav no problem i told him not to expect me to be nice until it comes to an end
The thing is we were wingbros
But wings can be stripped into solos
Seperated by a spec of dust  blowing in the wind
I wish wen he chose his brain would hav spinned
It wud hav tossed and turned
So tht a ****** relationship wud not hav been earned
stillhuman Jul 2023
There's this empty void
when I look to you

It's all those things I don't know
about you

All the times you got your heart broken
and the ones you spinned that too.

I remember your laughter
when it was real and it was not
and your eyes after disaster
when they would be downcast
and filled with plaster.

So hard to reach you at times,
it made it all the worse
when all I wanted was for you to look
and see me whole.

There's not enough words
to explain what we would receive
if I could be honest with you
and you with me.

Either way,
I wish you only the best
while I have you
in my dreams.
Only so much i can say to you like this
Egeria Litha Apr 2013
I finally quit smoking cigarettes. I'm sorry that I made you unhappy, but at the time that was me giving my best shot, putting my best foot forward, at love. Speaking of love, there are so many things I've learned that I would love to share with you. Each time I learn a lesson I think to myself, "I can't wait to tell him this one" until I realize I can't. Because I won't. Because its not the right time. I've had a lot of time on my hands. Have you ever felt that? The weight of time on your hands? It's slow and it's heavy, and sometimes it hurts too much to carry. I'm not alone anymore. I have too many ghosts circulating my veins and sitting on the front porch of my mind to be lonely. But you, I make room for you. In the back of my head, close to the nape of my neck, the place you used to grab with your hand when you pulled me in for a kiss..... that is where I keep you. I wish I could keep you. I wish I could take you away from this god forsaken place and take the next flight to Russia. Remember that time we spinned the globe, closed our eyes, and randomly pointed to a place that we would go together someday? I don't even remember the name of the place. And that makes me wonder if you remember me at all. But here's something I'll never forget. I'll never forget that you loved me, even if you did. And maybe one day you'll wake up one morning look across the street and realize I'm exactly what you need, and I'm ready to be that person. Or maybe every morning you wake up I fade farther and farther away from your heart. Either way, everything will be fine. There is a theory that our Universe may be just one of the many in an infinite "Multiverse" in which every possible event is played out somewhere. I'm sure in at least one of them, we're loving eachother.
MaryJane Doe May 2014
In Somnia
     We don't sleep at night
So we tend to dream in the day
   Never fully knowing
If we're ever fully awake

Today
   I felt an earth quake
And it made my life shake
  & I wondered
        Is this
    My
      wake?

I heard whispers
    On the wind
Of a tornado
    As it spinned
& I pondered
   Are these my sins

A tsunami
    Came on me
And it calmed me
   As it thundered
& I wondered
   Am I really
A
   W
       A
           K
               E

           In Somnia
   We can't sleep at night
So we tend to dream in the day
  Never fully knowing
If we're ever fully awake
Francie Lynch Dec 2016
The boyfriend spinned the tires
On my daughter's car
As they sped to meet their plane.
I watched the tail lights
Fade into the falling snow,
And prayed,
For the power of prayer.
Zelda Morgan Nov 2015
My biggest former wish,
I must tell you,

When I was just a little wheel
I spinned in hope of one circle taking me
To one like you.
I'm close.
You're close too.
We're almost there.
We're there.
And now I get too see
That you too are just a little wheel
A part of me is stuck in you
A part of you is stuck in me
But we cannot stop
For when our love rusts
So will we
And we must keep spinning

I must tell you,
My dearest future memory
susan Sep 2015
i've spinned the bottle of life
and it stopped
at the *****.
Sam Harty Sep 22
Dust coats a globe
long left un-spinned
thick lairs of neglect
mirrored also within.

High on a shelf
surrounded by books
I can spot Türkiye
with only a quick look.

She is there, yanno,
she who holds my
heart in her hands
6000 miles away in
a whole different land.

As I dust off the layer
of neglect I think back
to how it felt to kiss
her neck.

I close my eyes and give
it a spin to make sure
it still works (and take
my mind of how I was
such a ****.)

Like the globe I didn't
take the best care of
her. I didn't listen
to what it was she
preferred.

Now, I'm here with my
books, my quills and
my dusty, barely
spinning worlds. Alone
writing bad poetry and
missing that special
girl.
Harmony Sapphire Jan 2015
Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
I am not dead.
I feel alive & new.
You forgot my birthday shame on you.
A regretful sin.
Envy begins.
Triangular webs have spinned.
Wars nobody will win.
Tragedy is what it has been.
Starved from within.
A hunger so thin.
Enemies who are twins.
Joy & Grace you should embrace.
A broken face you can't replace.
Wipe the tears from your face.
Utter disgrace how we left the vase.
The right time to leave this wrong place.
Please get out of my face!
Remember you wanted your space.
Loneliness has a bitter taste..
Our relationship needs to pick up the pace.
A memory gone to waste.
In time feelings fade & erase.
Ideas you can't express or trace.
© Harmony Sapphire . All rights reserved,
Hygor Marques Jul 2019
I wish I could drink your sadness
and tear myself up instead.
And then cry a cry of happiness
seeing you smile again.

I wish I could show you, from my eyes,
the greatest infinity that ever was
is you. Believe me, it's true,
I'd give you one eye for that.

I wish I could lift you up
and spin you in the air,
foot on belly.
Not like you've being spinned.
Worn, exhausted, depleted,
always so high but so low.
I'd give you my map if I had one.

I like to look at you as I
like looking at the sky.
And while this unreachableness,
(is  that even a word ?)
hurts a bit,
it's bittersweet.
So still a bit sweet,
in the end, my friend.

I wish I could fly in your sky.
Be sure I would.
Em Sep 2014
Do you remember how it felt the first date, the first kiss, the first time you stuck out your hand and I simply interlocked mine in yours? Do you remember wearing that old blue plaid shirt and cowboy boots that very first day when our friends introduced us? You looked like a southern dream. I naturally wasn't expecting to meet someone and was just in sweats with my hair up. I was a mess. I remember the way you looked at me. It was like you could see right through me and everything I was trying to hide. I never felt more alive than the night you grabbed my hand and made me dance with you in that parking lot. The way the rain fell on our faces as you spinned me around. I didn't want it to end. I remember the night you stole my first kiss. Everything was perfect, seemingly planned. You held my face and looked me in the eyes and for a moment nothing else mattered. No one else existed in that moment. I remember our frivolous adventures in Walmart, trips to the fair, the movies, the lake, nights when we'd stay in, when you'd take me to football games, baseball games, hockey. It soon became that we did everything together. I remember that Tuesday night as you were about to go home, you turned over and looked at me and smiled. It was quite for a minute then you just said it. We had been together for 3 months and 10 days and you said it. You told me that you loved me. You said you loved me, kissed me and went home. Yeah, I remember. It all just seems like last week that we met, got to know eachother, then fell more and more in love. I still remember the smell of the cologne that you wore the day that you told me you were leaving. You were almost emotionless as you watched the tears stream down my face. Five words you uttered: "This isn't working. It's over". You had no tears. No lump in your throat. No hesitation as you broke my heart. You spent 14 months making me fall for you and all I got was "This isn't working". You talked about our future. A life together. A family. Was it all just a facade? Yes, I remember quite well. And well, that seems to be my problem.
Written 8/31/14
Henry Akeru Apr 2017
THE MOB
They came looking for Us
With Axes,hoes and Clubs
Some even came bearing Stones
Ready to have our graves Enthroned!
The Ulysses were forbidden
The night was void of decoration it was Hidden.
The shimmering sun spinned without drama
And the birds whispered in-low tones: karma!
        In our hearts we'd died.
Our Countenance collapsd like falling leaves. Dried
Yet without mercy came a bellowing blow
     A harvest of tooth and blood flowed
    Scooped in baskets like fresh fruits
        Ones again we died without truth
With tears cascading our eyes like a fall
And now we remain Dead, rusted brains in our skulls .
Relishing in comforting darkness:
Nothing to sense. Void of Consideration just emptiness.
Polished by earth and Matter,
we become white and clean, even neater
Without the wanton weight of our fowl hides.
Never to be pounced again by the Mob.
         Thank God we are Now
                    DEAD
Daan Aug 2021
We walked and talked our way
to see-through sights on hills.
We checked in and out the stay
before I took one too less of pills.

My head, it spinned and dark-
ness grinned so we returned
to safe and soundness park-
ed in bed to not get burned.

We walked and talked our way
again, refound the goal we had
in mind and had the perfect day.

As a curly moon loomed high above,
I recalled there's nothing to be afraid of,
dozing, safe and sound and filled with love.
I love you
Mateuš Conrad Jan 2022
as someone who used to fall asleep listening to Christopher Young's soundtrack for Hellrasier II: hellbound each night for almost a year... i've spiced it up a little... le chant des templiers - chant of the templars... unless it's raining... then falling asleep to the sound of rain... i sort of allowed myself to focus on something i'd best call an: agreeable veneer... each single time i try to avoid banter with colleagues: yeah, i know i sort of must but the mere thought of banter makes me feel ill... i'm not here to make friends, i'm not here to get into a relationship with someone i'm working with... well sorry... so much for a woman's excuse when dealing with football hooligans: oh but you wouldn't talk to your mother, your sister or your grandmother like that... well i'm all three of those things... yeah... sure... and like there aren't men who would *****-slap a "steward" on a ******* whim... while i have the whole 6ft2 and 100kg worth of defense... i'm not here to make friends... we used to have friends in high school, tightly knit friendships, very idiosyncratic in-group / out-group preference... i don't think i had any friends at university: perhaps one Japanese guy, Tomikuni... but by then superficiality kicked in and people were branching into hierarchies and chances of seeking out nepotism... now? again: an agreeable veneer, but deep down i'd rather speak a robotic hello how are, enjoy the match to a crowd of 200 strangers than pretend to be friendly with colleagues... even today i was *******... sure, there was a shortage of stewards, so instead of initially patrolling the crowd upon entry via the park we were spontaneously put on the turnstiles, great! an adrenaline rush... then after we finished that task we were allowed to go back to our original designation... i radioed the control room: control, control, park 3 returning to designated position... copy... the park had 6 stewards designated to patrol it... for a good 40 minutes? who was there? me! and only me... **** it... came 9:30pm and a demented Quasimodo was ringing the bells like there was no tomorrow, i sat on a bench in the graveyard, took off my right shoe and readdressed the situation of a folding sock on my sweaty foot... if these sub-Saharan pseudo-Arabs are thinking about work as: loiter... listen... they once spinned the narrative the narrative that Covid was a "racist" virus... you know how many of these copper-necks i've watched... go into the toilet... do their either no. 1 or no. 2 deed and walk out without washing their hands?! too many... that's how many... pretty much all of them... at least the blacks are actively willing to integrate... imagine if the blacks didn't integrate... would they be singing in the Baptist choirs?! would these blacks even sing, if they remained chained to their African tongues?! and? oh my god, the blacks are the cleanest, most pedantic ******* out there, they can almost compete with white neuroticisms... that's how good they are... but some of these *******... so i sat there for a while drinking too much coffee listening to the bells of All Saints' Church... footsteps: my own... the moon, almost full... alle das ist die nacht! all that is the night! the forever hardly any flow of the Thames... is the Thames a river, or a makeshift: pond?! oh sure, i'm agreeable, at face-value... what i've learned from the English is the double-edged sword psychology... being two-faced... at least a Russian might tell me outright: oi! ****! oh, no no, not among the English... polite comes first, anything else comes second and of note: with dire consequences you were never going to expect... see: flimsy ****... an agreeable veneer... i'm actually gagging for the moment of confrontation where i roll my eyes back, hide my pupil and iris and merely show my eyes as fully sclera entombed before grieving an over-hyped teen... tensing my muscles... over-sizing myself... that's yet to come... i'm currently leaving each shift slightly disappointed... not enough adrenaline... i want, more! but to hell with the current whereabouts of the action... even if i were raised a catholic.... don't protestants get confirmed? sorry, i "missed" being confirmed... i was reading some Gnostic literature... i "forgot" to get get church "approval" or, "disapproval"... whichever... do i care? my current top three tier "guys" to emulate... Jason, Michael... Pinhead... i abhor people that are satisfied with being safe... i hate weakness as much as a **** might abhor keeping to a standard of germs... i abhor, weakness... a lag in responsibility... in drives me nuts! i could almost **** for a thrill of knowing that i'm killing something; lesser... i'd be killing it by also inquiring into myself as... paradoxically being: kind... it... yeah.... oddly enough... "it"... i abhor weakness in people... which is why i am a face of an agreeable veneer...so many ******* are just weak... pencil-pushers... hierarchy-minders... the weak might have inherited the earth... but what "earth" are we speaking off? this, *******?! oh, wow! dementia prone bollocking, right, this one? i need to sleep, i need to remind myself of my romance with the night...

nights like these are so rare... i drink more than i write,
i don't actually care about writing,
sometimes i just want life to sink in...
i left the house after doing some minor chores:
preparing a mushroom soup - oh, not creamy,
none of that English cream soup *******...
clear... a dollop of cream can be added later,
the mushrooms were not blitzed up, sliced... floating...
the broth was based on extracting as much from
a carrot, a parsley root, some celery...
a leek... if only the local shop sold some celeriac...
a bay leaf, allspice, a pinch of cinnamon
some paprika... one or two cloves... fresh leaf parsley...
a mushroom and a chicken stock cube to counter
the need to salt: i still salted the broth a little...
black pepper... obviously i also had to cook some pasta
to later float in and around the mushrooms...
garlic... with its skin on... oh... about three teeth's worth...
all rounded up on a decent amount of butter:
after all... if it's a clear soup... you want some oomph!
since no protein is being used, you need to counter
that lack with some fatty lubricant...
ha... the commute... if i'm lucky an catch an express
train from Southend Victoria into central London
it takes me about 8 minutes to travel from Romford
to Stratford... then the central line to Victoria...
then the victoria line to... ****... two stops... oh...
right... to Victoria station, then the district line to Putney Bridge...
today i had to get a district line to Earl's Court
so i could catch a district line from Edgware Rd.
toward Wimbledon...
just this once i wasn't feeling it...
all afternoon i was exhausting myself while thinking
of Gemma...
******* butterflies, didn't eat anything, drank a little
whiskey... and to think: i used to love coffee with cream
or milk... now? always black... with the added dollop
of whiskey, two sugars...
i saw her again... but **** me... the butterflies weren't
there... i fall in love easily...
but i fall out of love even more easily...
reality kicks in these days... i think i have aged:
falling in love with the idea of love...
reality is bound to disappoint me...
to think that i might be with a woman - earn money...
in order to pay for unnecessary **** is... giving me a limp ****...
that women are the prime instigators of any economy:
what would a man spend money on?
whiskey? bicycles, spare parts... the odd shoe...
some socks?
capitalism is not going to survive the onslaught
of emerging bachelors... skint *******... i know:
i'm one myself... no wonder women need to be propped up...
paid more... why? they'll spend the money!
men won't spend jack-**** on... jack-****...
i still have a mother, i'll sometimes buy her flowers...
but to hell with buying a birthday card...
a kiss on the cheek and a few words...
why would i buy flowers? when i can have daffodils
randomly spurting up in my garden some February?!
am i... going to chew on vinyl: that licorice plastic?
- first time i came across Gemma she was so giddy...
flirty... and that was only on Saturday...
on the ride home she would rest her elbow on my leg...
get a headache... stare at me when i pretended
to not be looking through the side of my eyes...
i mean: for a 39 year old... most 20 year olds don't look
at pretty...
today she was so reserved... cold...
oh... right... well... thank god i had an ideal in my head
rather than what could possibly come...
a sort of scenario was playing out in my head
from the movie: As Good As It Gets...
a single mum will always put her offspring first...
regardless of whether the offspring was conceived by
an abusive alcoholic ex that beat the kid and choked her...
sure, sure, i'll allow all people to have that *******
luxury of being existentially filled by having children
they can subsequently ****-up...
me? i'm just happy when i grab the eyes and full attention
of a 4 year old girl looking at a glowing marble /
fluorescent squid that i become momentarily...
at least in their eyes... perhaps this current job i'm doing
really is a stepping stone to becoming a secondary school
chemistry teacher... oh **** me... if i got into a primary
school environment: i'd have my fun...
it's also good that i have an underground sort of mindset...
to the brothel i go: eerily 'appy oh oh...
- since Saturday after first meeting Gemma
i sort of forgot to ******* - oh, none of that only-fans
crap, scented candles, ****** or streaming...
like i once noted: on the throne of thrones...
take a **** which oddly enough is always predicated
by ******* while sitting down...
*******? i sometimes need to relax the **** muscles...
******* helps... and then a quickie in the shower...
yeah: but after our second encounter today:
with so much reservation...
it was going to be either Kendra Lust or Samantha Saint
on my mind...
why do all the pretty ones always go down
the route of ******* or prostitution?
is it the sort of mentality that beauty ought to be shared?!
i mean: **** me... an oak tree is beautiful...
it can / has to be seen by almost anyone...
is that the same with women?
- so we stood there talking *******... me...
one lesbian (if i were a Don  Juan... she could perhaps be
a nun... but a lesbian? "conquering" that?
eh... not exactly ugly... but a butch mentality...
slap some make-up on, close my eyes... most definitely
****-able) - we ended up talking about bones...
where are the smallest bones located...
i suggested the wrists... the parts of the body most
flexible... Gemma retorted... no... the smallest
bone in the body is in the ear...
now i'm going to google that... to see... ****...
she was right... the smallest bones in the body are
the: malleus (hammer), incus (anvil) and the stapes (stirrup)
and they are located in the ear...
then onto the turnstiles... oh god... the turnstiles at
Fulham are like a century ahead of the turnstiles at
Oxford... ******* Brummies... lovely folk...
almost if not more lovable than... Scousers...
GEORDIES / MANCUNIANS are not SCOTS!
   don't even get me started on those south western
***** from Bristol...
yeah... well that was great... i felt like a teenage boy for
about two days and now my honeymoon period
is over... reality bit back...
   all my dreams and fantasies crumbled...
                  whatever initial attraction she gave me...
she now was fulfilling her role,
she had a job to do... i was reduced to a status of:
less the person to initiate her, to comfort her to someone
on her plateau, hardly any "superior"...
it's nice to be sober up on this reality-juice...
it makes all the more sense to seek ideals like:
that's a bottle of whiskey that i'm calling ms. amber...
fraulein bernstein etc.
there are always the prostitutes...
it's not like i was going to play a good uncle Caesar
and profane myself with surrogacy of a child that isn't my own...
i don't have the sort of resources.

— The End —