"overdoing" poems
I haven't left my house or showered or been outside or opened my blinds in a week and a half. I feel like a limp noodle, I have no motivation to do anything. I haven't been to work and I have canceled counseling twice. I feel ill if my mother tries to make me eat more than once a day. I wonder if anyone notices what's happening to me. I wonder if anyone knows the pain gnawing at my heart and causing this lump in my throat. I wonder if they care.
Every little thing is hurting me. The way that others think of me, the way they speak of me, the way they ignore me, the way they treat me. Everything is just there in my head, swirling around over and over. How needy I am, how annoying I am, how I can't control my drinking, how over-emotional and dramatic I am.
I wonder if anyone knows why the things that they say and think and feel about me effect me so much. Because it's me that they don't like. It's me that they're insulting. You can ask me to change and I can act different, but it's still me. I deal with it every day. I feel every emotion to the very bottom of me. There's no reaction that I act out that doesn't express exactly how I am feeling. My emotions run deep to the core of me. If they say that I am too much, I simply am. That is me, exactly. I can't bare myself at times; Imagine being me every day.
So why not just love me and accept me for being so entirely honest and so real. I'm something hard to fathom, I understand, but all I am is all I ever were and all that I can be. I have masked myself for everyone "I'm fine. I'm always fine." Don't let me deceive you, it's my favorite line. Inside I am crying, inside I am dying and on the outside I'm lying. Understand this; My tears are all dried up and I have ****** back into myself to please you. I am trying so hard to provide the silence that you have requested; so don't ask me why I've disappeared. Don't ask me why I am wasting my life away in a 'cave'. Don't ask me why I won't come out. Don't ask me why I won't speak or smile or cry or yell. Don't ask me why I am lacking emotion. Notice, but don't ask.
I will tell you once again. There is nothing that I feel that does not entirely devour me. Nothing that I feel that doesn't consume my every thought and every second of my existence. You told me to be silent. You asked me to stop feeling the way that I do. So I have emptied myself, to the bottom of me, just to please all of you.
k.d.
Jan 28, 2014
Jan 28, 2014 at 11:53 AM UTC
1.i took a breath, punched the door. he asked if it helped at all,
rubbed his temples when i did it again,
told me to call him when i felt like talking,
we havent spoken since. he isnt important to this story.
what matters is how unsafe i feel just saying your name, how unreal
you make me feel. imaginary and implausible. wish fulfillment so blatant
im amazed i ever thought i was something more
than a myth.
2. i can't give you what you want/couldn't give you what you want. something like a romance film,
candles on the shore,
not blown out by ocean winds.
something where i cry your name or
kiss you when you shout
instead of screaming back,
perfect plaster queen crumbling
for no one but you.
where i sing and you sigh.
where at least one of us cares.
3. im still not sure who's to blame
my heart is swollen my hands are bloated there is motor oil
pooling in the hollow of my palms, did you do this to me?
did i unravel you? im still not sure what happened. i stopped asking for help a long time ago
4. i do not feel safe.
you are behind me always.
i am sweating bullets and you are loading your gun.
you are a breakdown waiting to happen.
you are my genes planning treason.
5. you're a fake.you're a fake.you're a fake.
buying me coffee and spitting down my throat like
it evens out in the end.you're so kind.you say youd never hurt me as if
i couldnt see my ******* intestines in your fist. you're a fake.
you're pyrite, fool's gold,
costume jewelry cutting off circulation to my hand.
6. i know everything sounds the same.
i know i give the same speech every time.
i know repetition is getting old and
six breakdowns in the same month is
overdoing it. i was trained from birth to **** up my life
and im exceeding expectations.
7. [image: memorial day card,
'we had nothing worth remembering' inside,
hallmark logo on the back]
8. i didnt really want to be real anyway
May 14, 2014
May 14, 2014 at 3:41 AM UTC
Play
overdoing
overworking
overthinking
overeating
overdrinking
Pause
the leftovers
of me
always lying
over here
over there
Eject
my seat
overseas
Game over.
Jul 30, 2013
Jul 30, 2013 at 12:09 AM UTC
I dont think
We see the dark
Until we see a crack of light
I woke up
Same as always
Too stuck in thinking
The fog was normal
Was supposed to be there
That somehow I Needed
Permission to be just Me
My high impact crazy ***
Overdoing it fast self
Yes I may be too much
And I really have to watch
My limits
But that's not the issue
I trust myself to come down
Off my highs
And all the things
That say I can't fly
Were Never mine
I release the need to please
To act as if I belong
I only belong to me
I am only accountable for me
No one else has a right to
Change me unless I let them
I guess I am owning it
My actions my consequences
Jul 21, 2018
Jul 21, 2018 at 10:57 AM UTC
You are so sweet
We're all addicted to sweet
As people...
But maybe it's time
I go on a diet
That I learn to cut back
But my sweet tooth
It yearns for you
You've been a roller-coaster
So much fun
But so many ups and downs
But so many downs
You've gotten off
But I'm still on
Reliving the drop
Over and over
I'm not sweet
Like you
I don't know how sometimes
To be sweet
But maybe it's time I learn
I just hope I don't
Make everyone sick
Overdoing it
Dec 23, 2013
Dec 23, 2013 at 6:01 PM UTC
It's not a bad thing to make mistakes
But overdoing it can make aches.
Sin came from our desires
It is a force that tempts us to lit our fire.
Sin causes lives into distruction
And make people cry in unsatisfaction.
Naive people,sinning to earn self happiness.
Selfishness is the start of fights.
War, and more sin which is made by human kind.
Feb 28, 2021
Feb 28, 2021 at 10:17 PM UTC
L is for the way He looks at me
O is for overdoing it by myself you see
V is very, very changed maybe
E is trusting Him with everything and God's Got This
LOVE for you and me
Nov 17, 2016
Nov 17, 2016 at 11:14 PM UTC
When you are working on that really important history project, before you can even begin, there is always that one person who asks: "So how much is this worth? How much will this count towards our mark?"
Ugh. Welcome to the Bauer state of mind everybody!
All that matters in life is how successful you are. And as long as your average is a constant 100%, you do not need to worry about anything else.
What a life huh?
These people are the perfect people for office job life. Nothing but numbers, no life, no soul.
Nothing else matters to them.
And singling these people out in high school is the saddest thing, and the most hilarious thing I've done.
Because these people brag at 100% and cry at 99%.
Wait, what?!
How can you not be satisfied with anything less than overdoing it?
I mean, you go on and live your life.
But I'll stay here with a more than satisfactory 85%.
I can work with that.
Apr 20, 2017
Apr 20, 2017 at 8:43 PM UTC
Aching legs won't carry your lazy ideals
The light patterns on the veranda dissipate
your past Summer's glory
Aged arguments still tarry a cast
and slightly overdoing it at the Lido
promised more than capability
as your range shrinks day by day.
Oct 22, 2012
Oct 22, 2012 at 4:51 PM UTC
I tell you it's hard to live with a man
Who's always so preoccupied
With making other people happy,
Especially at Yuletide.
Time and again I've asked why he
Prefers to live in this frigid zone.
And then he works each Christmas Eve
While I have to stay home alone!
I mean, why this bias of Christmas
With winter and snow year after year
When it's nice and steamy on Earth's
Beautiful southern hemisphere?
Don't get me wrong: I don't begrudge
His eleemosynary devotion
To making other people happy.
That's a kind and generous notion.
But his thoughts are always on
"The kids," and so, I feel neglected.
And yet I always put on the front
Of being cheerful, cool and collected.
Another thing I must admit:
It's hard for a wife whose hubby enjoys
An overwhelming fascination
Or infatuation with all his toys!
You might think the man is cute;
However, I am less enthralled.
He suffers from puer aeternus.
At least that's what I think it's called.
I tell him, "Dear, I understand
Your thoughtful desire to do good deeds,
But maybe you are overdoing it.
Don't forget: wives have needs."
I sometimes think the worst might happen
Whenever my spirits start to sink.
I have to muster up inner strength
To stop myself from taking to drink.
I'd love to be able to find a place
Where we could spend some time by ourselves.
It isn't easy to live with a man
Who spends all his time with reindeer and elves.
Oh, well…I guess it's true:
Every marriage has its flaws.
But try to imagine what it's like
To be Mrs. Santa Claus.
-by Bob B (12-25-18)
Dec 25, 2018
Dec 25, 2018 at 10:30 AM UTC
I'm a cluttered fairy
strewn all over the mattress
on my stomach,
hair; a cluttered catastrophe
but in the morning I know
I'll be able to comb away
all the knots from my heart
and songs will be the match I need
to ignite a spark.
And now, I am done
with being an actress,
I am done with
overdoing things, with
overthinking about you;
have you thought of me at all today?
Either yes or no, it won't matter babe,
Ain't sure I need you to live anyway,
if I didn't cross your mind, I won't weep
I'm not alone,
it's 11:55 pm
and I'm taken by sleep.
- Crimsyy
Oct 21, 2016
Oct 21, 2016 at 1:03 AM UTC
maybe I'm oversensitive
overthinking
overachieving
overstressing
overdoing
but that does not mean
I suffer less
it means I suffer more
because I need others
to tell me
that I'm worth something
if not
then I'm worth
nothing at all
Nov 4, 2018
Nov 4, 2018 at 9:01 PM UTC
No one knows what I’m thinking about when I think about Her.
And no one knows how close Her and I were.
We went together better than lemon and lime,
But now I have a major problem because I think about Her all the time.
I try and try but I can’t get Her off my mind.
If I try to talk about it, I already know what it is I’ll find.
I will be told I’m stalking,
When all I’m doing is talking.
How could I even think of hurting Her, the one I truly love?
It’s as impossible as God mercilessly killing a newborn dove!
All I really want to do is apologize,
Everyone else just wants to dramatize!
I know it seems like I’m overdoing it,
But if you understood even half of it, you would ease up quite a bit.
I know that me future behavior is judged by my past,
But everyone is jumping to conclusions way too fast!
I will say it again; NEVER again will I hurt Her!
If you were me you would understand; Oh, if only you were!
For if you were me, you would finally see,
The honesty that is inside of me.
Love for Her is number one on my list,
I would keep going, but I think you get the gist.
Aug 25, 2011
Aug 25, 2011 at 2:03 PM UTC
A bridge broken from one side to another.
A telephone wire cut.
Something's wrong inside my head.
The thing is, I don't know just what.
Chirping alarms
Whirring fans
Smoky smells
Red. Blinking. Lights.
A robot whose been programmed wrong,
An exposed sparking wire.
The buttons don't click all the way.
Hazardous, watch for fire.
Danger
Danger
Danger
Do not approach
This automatic switch is supposed to make me excited
This one makes a genuine smile.
Nobody notices, though, that I'm on manual control
And have been for a while.
Overheating
Overworking
Overdoing
Over
Electricity and buttons and wires
Do not mix well with water, I think.
But because I'm in desperate need of repair
I'm in constant thirst for a drink.
"Should have bought that extended warranty."
"Did you turn it off and on again?"
No.
No. Because it's broken.
Hard drive shorting
Lights are blinking
And I'm thinking
My last thoughts exporting
Crackling
Clicking
Clattering
Clanking
Clunking
The only thing that works well anymore
Is the part that goes through the motions.
Perseverance is my constant notion
As I burn myself out on the shore.
It's hot to the touch.
Back off.
Soon, it might Explode
Jul 5, 2018
Jul 5, 2018 at 9:14 PM UTC
Needs to be anywhere
As long as it's a place of nowhere
I will go there
Before I have a breakdown
I need to get out of this **** town
No longer want to stick around
I am about to drown
You can see it in my frown
There is nothing here to keep me from going
somewhere not knowing
easygoing
Maybe somewhere it's snowing
the moon is always glowing
Somewhere, it's calling for me
my destiny
A new place to see
Somewhere to clear the air
have a new love affair
not have a care
Here or there
Going somewhere
where I can make believe
and will never want to leave
and my mind will stop moving
no more booing
no more need of overdoing
Going somewhere for some renewing
Where my thoughts makes since
"Convinced"
Going somewhere
Anywhere, Anywhere
To set myself free
!!
Oct 27, 2015
Oct 27, 2015 at 7:15 PM UTC
My heart beats wildly
Fiercely.
But
I am an empty vessel.
No soul...
Nothing.
I yearn for something more.
But I won't let
Myself have it.
I will not allow
This sort
Of happiness
Belong in my
Life.
The one where
One loves
Another.
These are the rules
In my heart.
Permanently etched.
Wish I could melt
My feelings
Away.
Into.
A.
Giant.
Sea.
You see,
I am not cut out
For this happiness.
Overthinking.
Overdoing.
Overachieving.
Over-trying.
I am just over-everything.
Dec 10, 2018
Dec 10, 2018 at 6:52 PM UTC
A telephone wire cut.
Something's wrong inside my head.
The thing is, I don't know just what.
Chirping alarms
Whirring fans
Smoky smells
Red. Blinking. Lights.
A robot whose been programmed wrong,
An exposed sparking wire.
The buttons don't click all the way.
Hazardous, watch for fire.
Danger
Danger
Danger
Do not approach
This automatic switch is supposed to make me excited
This one makes a genuine smile.
Nobody notices, though, that I'm on manual control
And have been for a while.
Overheating
Overworking
Overdoing
Over
Electricity and buttons and wires
Do not mix well with water, I think.
But because I'm in desperate need of repair
I'm in constant thirst for a drink.
"Should have bought that extended warranty."
"Did you turn it off and on again?"
No.
No. Because it's broken.
Hard drive shorting
Lights are blinking
And I'm thinking
My last thoughts exporting
Crackling
Clicking
Clattering
Clanking
Clunking
The only thing that works well anymore
Is the part that goes through the motions.
Perseverance is my constant notion
As I burn myself out on the shore.
It's hot to the touch.
Back off.
Soon, it might Explode
Jan 26, 2019
Jan 26, 2019 at 8:05 PM UTC
I'm not the kind of fool
Who goes first on fondues
Wreak havoc on travels
And get lost and bruised
And fight for anything
And anyone of feelings
I am the son of cold
And the grand child of vulgarity
Never the strong man
Nor the spiritual insane
Running my highway
In my own truck lane
Never ink blotted
By the time I felt I'd like to
Overdoing scatterings
Forcing pusses to pop lingerings
Cropped out from photographs
I am the eagle from the south
A day older from my mere shadow
Of dandies and slouch
I am the charmer of ghosts
In this fatigued jacket
Taking charge of bullets
Triggered from your guts
From your sub standards
Pulled from the gauntlet
Off your misfiring ammo
Crash dummied rocket
Murmurs and prophets
Fake gay dimples
Soft brushes
First class test crashes
In the middle of the zone
Blows my head
Leaves my lights on
Off to bed.
Nov 17, 2017
Nov 17, 2017 at 11:01 AM UTC
Changing weather
There was spring, flowers and green grass, leaves
on trees , the lot, and I thought of immortality.
God has thrown everything at me and I had been
prodded by doctors who all had eccentric opinions
about my illness and I had survived.
I looked heavenward inhaled without coughing
and saw darkening clouds coming from the north
an incoming wind had the icy breaths of Siberia
and the rain came like cold showers given to boys
at the home who could not keep their penises
just innocently hanging there.
I came home, was sent to bed, not for my ******
prowess but to stop me getting a cold; I thought of
Stalin mother liked him he looked so cool, not that
she would have said that it is me picking up words
from Facebook and I know how to give five fingers
not one, I used to give passing motorists; we live
in an age of overdoing things.
Tomorrow the sun will shine again I can go for a walk
and pretend it shines just for me, the winter had tried
a com back and failed
Jun 2, 2016
Jun 2, 2016 at 5:17 AM UTC