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Specs Aug 2019
A match's sole purpose is to
Burn out.
Anything else, and they're simply
a Waste of Space.
It starts in the head,
And in one quick motion,
Flames.
It moves fast,
Consuming the entire match.

Shriveled.
Black.
Charcoal is all that remains.
Specs Jul 2019
There’s a superhero protecting the city,
And when the sun goes down he fights
To keep his friends and family safe
On treacherous, deadly nights.
He uses his marvelous super strength
For lots of things, it‘s quite practical.
And he uses invisibility
To be supremely sneaky and tactical.

Each and every night he goes to stop
Bad people from doing bad things
The city loves their superhero,
And treat him as their king.
They know him well and they can tell
That he’ll always treat them with care
They know they can call at any time,
And that the hero will always be there.

But many long and sleepless nights
Begin to take their toll.
The hero’s getting tired
Night after night on patrol.
And the battles fought aren’t easily won,
The hero’s decorated with scars
From poison darts, and fisticuffs,
Falling from buildings onto cars.

But no one else can protect the people
Whom the hero love so dear,
So the hero cannot take a break,
Not one day off because he fears
That as soon as he’s gone the baddies will come
And wreak havoc on his friends
And the hero cannot allow that to happen;
He could never make amends.

Though he’s growing quite weary, the hero keeps fighting
Because that’s the way heroes are wired.
But his strength doesn’t work like it used to,
And his invisibility tends to backfire.
His strength only works around other people,
He grows weak as soon as they’re gone.
He’s invisible almost all of the time,
So people can’t see something’s wrong.

It’s now to the point where the hero dreads
The sun sinking into the west
Because he knows that once the sun goes down,
He’ll be put to the test.
He’s so tired and weak and he’s ready to quit
But he knows he must go out again.
Isn’t protecting the city week after week
Worth any amount of pain?

He’s reluctant to go out, and almost dares to do evil,
To show that he’s in control.
But he knows he never will, his reputation’s at stake,
And he prepares to go out on patrol.
The city is asking to be saved once again.
And he cries as the sky turns red,
Maybe the city won’t expect to be saved
If the hero himself is dead.

For the hero feels so very alone.
He knows he can’t go on forever.
How many more super villains and monsters,
He asks, can this poor hero weather?
The hero knows that he can’t go much longer,
That he only has a little while
Before the people figure out he’s hurt
But for now he saves with a smile.

Though his bones are weak, and his skin is bruised,
Off to save the city once more, he goes.
He’s pushing himself far past his limit
As he brawls ‘gainst countless foes.
He wants to keep his people safe,
Though he may be going to his grave.
For no one ever taught this hero
To save others, first himself he has to save.
I’m so very tired
Specs Apr 2019
I think I love him,
My ears and cheeks flush
And my heart starts running races.
I think I love him,
When I look in a crowd
I don’t see any other faces.

I think I love him
But I’m not quite sure
I’ve not felt this way before.
I think I love him
Because this boy
Makes my smiling muscles sore.

I think I love him,
In times before
A kiss was not preferred.
I think I love him,
Because this one,
Makes me forget my every word.

I think I love him,
He makes me brave,
And silences my fears.
I think I love him
But here’s the catch
He’s leaving for two years.

I think I love him,
But I’m at a standstill
I don’t know yet how to proceed.
I think I love him
And neither is sure
Who’s to take the lead.

I think I love him.
Why did it have to be
My heart he had to steal?
I think I love him.
But I don’t want to say it
Because saying it makes it real.
This love(?) is different from the first
Specs Mar 2019
Today I felt the need to bleed,
Strongest it's been for a while.
I clenched my jaw and pinched my fingers,
Turned grimace into smile.

I wanted to scratch myself to pieces,
Rake nails across my skin.
Or make myself throw up my dinner
Any pain would be a win.

I don't quite know what set it off,
Why I had such strong desire
To bite my fingers, pull my hair,
Or recklessly play with fire.

But something happened just today,
I wish that I knew why.
Because something happened just today,
That made me want to die.

And since it's been so long since Then
Since when these feelings were there
It shocked me to the core alright,
And suddenly I was scared.

I've lied to myself for far too long,
Saying I'm alright,
But in reality that isn't true,
In reality I'm done with this fight.

I don't want to keep living a fearful life,
But I fear all my strength is gone.
I've fought against myself so long,
That I just want to be done.
Short lines across skin
are deep tales in a language
far too few understand
Specs Mar 2019
Today is the youngest I'll ever be.
I'm looking back a year or three.
I don't want to spend my days, lying in wait
Wondering what I need to know;
So, here I go.

The road I've walked is a quarter done,
But thorns along the trail they've stung.
I don't want this feeling to last, stuck in days of the past
Overthinking every blow;
So, here I go.

And I'm still new to the path,
It's twists and it's turns, I feel I've only begun.
But I look just behind me at rivers and canyons,
I've come so far, and I'm done.

Today's the youngest I'll ever be,
I've worked so ******* becoming me.
I'm not in places I've been, I'm just stuck in between
Impossibly fast and slow.
But here I go.
This is actually a song I wrote, I hope you enjoy.
Specs Feb 2019
Where did I go that day, when I was shaking and crying.
Where did I go when I was sure I was dying?
Because so many times before when I was broken down,
I'd been aware of the sharp, heavy crown

Where did I go when I supposedly snapped,
Where did I go when I was nowhere but trapped?
I guess I thought that I was in control and
It still feels like my mind was hijacked, stolen.

Where did I go for that space of an hour?
Where did I go when I did nothing but cower?
It doesn't seem real that my brain showed up late,
And now I feel without control, which I hate.

So where did I go, please I need to hear,
'Cause ever since I left, I've been living in fear.
Specs Feb 2019
I am not allowed to do things that
You wouldn't.
I am not allowed to say things that
You wouldn't.
I am not allowed to believe things that
You wouldn't.
You wouldn't
let me grow into a person,
Grow into Me.
If I asked you to help make a change,
You wouldn't.
If I asked you to make an effort to be understanding,
You wouldn't.
If I asked you to care,
You wouldn't.

However,

I will.
Care for things and people that need it.
I will.
Try to understand people who are different.
I will.
Make a change.
Growth in the soul
Will turn me into myself, and
I will.
I will
Determine my own beliefs.
I will
Shout what I must.
I will
Choose to be what
You weren't.
This has kind of a slam feel to it, I kinda dig it
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