"justifiable" poems
but have you noticed, have you noticed how all mental health problems
stem form a seemingly aether virus that attacks the pronoun category;
i mean with proper justifiable schizoids you will not hear of the nouns
being ransacked for an equation that equates itself to misnomers;
it's all categorised negation of ease within the framework of pronouns.
it's strange that philosophers stress the pronouns so much these days
and those countless prior, but why do mental health diseases
attack the pronouns and not the nouns? they attack the verbs
thoroughly, but prior to the verbs exposing an illness
the pronouns are attacked, so that many considering the singularity
of expressing thought are ill because of being forced into a plural expression
of thought: "voices." i find it hard to understand, but it's the reality,
the aether virus attacks the pronoun
on the backdrop of a king's casual expression / use
of pronouns, when a king casually says
of himself as omni or multi with one and we respectively;
so why are pronouns so weak and nouns so strong
that a tree cannot be a misnomer attaché of timber
and rock not a pillar, or mountain as the verb: mountaineering?
the pronoun category is weak from day one,
because it suggests photographic duck animation on the lip pursed
into a quack quack, but if we constructed thought
without knowledge prior, eating the fruit of knowledge
rather than the fruit of thought, using the starting point
of the genesis metaphor, it's sometimes a no brainer
to have weak thinking and strength in knowing,
for if there was strength in thinking and weakness in knowing,
i'd be the one chiseling these words in the ice age on a cavern wall.
so, given, that diseases such as the famed premature dementia
attack the pronouns but not the nouns the schizoid one
will convene life with: pizza is pizza and sunshine ray down the drain
clock the millionth dead parting of grasshoppers in decimals -
while man unto man lusts one man's parting in decimals,
but should dire said, part man with integers, and insects with decimals!
but still, in the terminology of a cartesian understanding of illness,
in that segregational aspect of things "sorted,"
why are mental illnesses tattooed in a weak pronoun usage
compared to a strength in other grammatical categories?
why are not mental illnesses ******* the life out of the nouns?
the nouns are intact, the pronouns attacked,
and the verbs chess piece the pawn from the casually speaking clown king
into a beast imprisoned, for while the pronouns are attacked
and the nouns left intact, the attack on pronouns expresses itself
fully in verbs of the never existent tact: with such magic
as to claim knock knock on plank is the same as knock knock on veneer.
Sep 18, 2015
Sep 18, 2015 at 7:58 PM UTC
I hate labels.
so you may ask me why do you compulsively put words and purposes and dates and times on everything you have.
I hate labels but I love organization.
The problem with labels is they rarely tell the whole story.
Labels are short, just a snapshot of the essence that the thing or person boils down to
but I don’t believe anything can really be that simple.
Labels can make everything easier.
You get the main point, the thing that stands out, FAST.
but that’s like starting a story at it’s ****** you get no previous information and that high point that holds so much meaning if you've read the entire story turns flat.
A flat character doesn’t grow or change or feel all that much but they usually have a label.
Labels turn real multidimensional, complicated, interesting people into flat characters.
He is not gay.
She is not a cutter.
and He is not transgender.
They are real people and you cannot possibly fit a person into a single worded description of the thing that stands out about them or makes them different.
That is not enough for me!
The gay guy likes ice cream and romantic comedies, he's afraid of commitment, that scar is from his own blade and he volunteers on Wednesdays.
The cutter is seventeen and she lives with her grandparents. Almost everybody shes loved has walked away.
She has hair the color of sand at the beach and she wants to work in security at the airport so she can finally have control over who leaves and who stays.
The transgender man never felt trapped in the wrong body, the world just told him that his body was wrong. He’s a freshman in college and nobody ever told him how hard it would be. He calls his mom every night because he knows she worries and he cares. He has skin the color of caramel and he desperately wants to get married.
I hope you now understand that a label is never never enough.
You could argue that I’m afraid of being defined and of defining others with just a word,
but if you ask me a fear of labels is a very legitimate, considerate, and justifiable fear to have.
Labels are simply not enough.
And that's why I hate labels.
Oct 21, 2015
Oct 21, 2015 at 3:17 PM UTC
everything echoes mother.
the paranoia.
the ****** abuse
the tears
the screaming
the threats
the self-hatred
the abandonment.
do i understand her more now that i am her?
the only thing i understand is that i
like her
am weak
her actions no more justifiable than before
but her state of mind
the frantic chase of terrified, irrational thoughts littering her brain
i now understand
and feel
the
fear
Feb 8, 2015
Feb 8, 2015 at 1:19 PM UTC
I've often wondered if sometimes, if at all
There's a part of you-even if just a tiny bit
That resents me for the things I've taken away
Without your knowledge
It's justifiable you know,
I'll understand if you do
I mean I resent me too at times
I wouldn't blame you
But you, with eyes wide closed,
Heart open look beyond all of me
And I realize,
Things aren't always black and white
There's a thin line in between
Harboring all that's good within,
Looking beyond the imperfections,
And it's you.
You're the warm blanket we all need,
A perpetual calendar of inspiration for me
And most.
Let your aspirations guide to better things,
Be drawn to success like a moth to a flame,
Careful not to burn your wings,
Or to let people step on your cape
You're more than what you see in the mirror
The love you have within you radiates
To form an everlasting echo that transcends
Beyond definition
Finding reflections of each other in our hearts
And that's where , not anywhere else
We'll keep each other safe, warm and protected
For someday, this is all we'll have-memories
Apr 15, 2014
Apr 15, 2014 at 8:18 PM UTC
72 hours in
I'm giving serious thought to
drinking the Listerine.
The ***** is it's citrus flavored.
I can't even rinse with that toxic concoction, let alone swallow it,
but I'm running out of options.
I finished my other MacGyvers--
the Nyquil was first to go,
followed by a Dimetapp chaser
(the cherry,
not a refreshing grape-flavored one)
and a shot of Wal-fed
that induced indigestion.
My kingdom for a belt of whiskey--
maybe a snifter of ***
You know you're bottoming out
when you wax nostalgic
for drunken days
when soiling yourself was justifiable
due to your general state of disarray.
I'm the **** that adheres to the bottom of the barrel—
******* in the shower with my shoes on,
pants removed as a cautionary measure.
Not that life can get worse;
nothing trumps waking up miserable,
sore,
jobless,
alone,
queasy,
woozy and
drooling uncontrollably
and lacking ***** to blame it on.
Sep 20, 2012
Sep 20, 2012 at 11:51 PM UTC
U gave me that leaf, & said u were never gonna leave, Cause we were meant to live, now I have to Outlive & conceive the pain of grieve,
Who are u to tell me when to meditate? Please go your way and don't dictate, I have been born to innovate, Learn from me and don't aggravate,
Why dig into my past just to excavate things and deliberate , Yet you imitate and commentate and say it irritates, Never hesitate to prostate, Cause it elevate and motivates my innovative.
Even if your silences grieve so loud in my ears, I will never freeze, I will always leave, Because I never lived, I am never relief, I can't be pleased, Even when u sneeze. It only aggravates my pain when I eat, Dats the reason I refused to breath.
How can you call me fake When that's what you are, What you are is what I say , What I have seen is what am saying..
Fake, fake, fake, Fake u are like fanta Colorful yet distrustful Great pleasure Hidden smile, Full of Fantasy, deceitful u are.
You said u were my friend, then why stab me twice and expect me to talk once, U have twined &twisted; me, Enough of the Glossy bossy, mischievous in motivation, Malicious in thought,
Why judge when you can settle to be a judge in a jungle Stop been unjustly, & learn to be justifiable,
Now it's time for u to leave , superstitiously I have lived suspicious u have been, Dangerous you have become, Unpredictable you are , You're definitely a ********* You're never my friend
Jul 14, 2013
Jul 14, 2013 at 7:24 AM UTC
Anxiously awaiting atomic assimilation
Basing me on belligerent and boorish bastardization
Capsizing cargo with careful consideration as to
Deciding which day is decay's destination
Everyone embrace the elevated expiration
Forget my face and follow fabrication
Go to the gallows with grace and gravitation
He will hold you and hinder alienation
I, however, hold insignificance in interest
Justifiable jackhammers jacking fighter jets
Killing Californians who are kissing canvases
Lying without laughing and lighting cigarettes
My master makes me move my mundane mind
Never knowing next to nothing with nothing else inside
Overly offering operating override
Practicing patiently pulling peoples' pride
Quickly questioning quizzical quietness
Rationalizing raging reinventions ridiculous
Stapling this summer to my (still) sick subconscious
Traveling tunnelers trading tides for tiredness
Under the umbrella my undertow untangles
Violently vibrating like varying violin angles
Waiting with wandering whispers under the table
Xylophonist x-rays, excruciating fables
You yellow youngling, you who screams in my dreams
Zebras zoom by every single night, it seems
Let's chant my enchantments, the alliteration song!
And untie your tongue
So you don't take it wrong.
Feb 17, 2011
Feb 17, 2011 at 6:59 PM UTC
He saw her drop a wallet and nobody saw it
He returned it without her seeing it and she was glad
there was no thank you, no need to feel indebted to, no need to reciprocate, no belittling of the effort to not feel grateful, no aggrandizement of the effort to reward overly to the point of removing, no self-praise----all just a quiet act of kindness
but then someone did see him and blamed him for taking it in the first place and not only was the act not appreciated but it was scorned, misinterpreted, misunderstood, confused, defamed and finally damned. When kindness is ****** could there be any greater crime? The act was kindness and nobody understood it, and everyone jumped to conclusions, and everyone found one reason to **** for another reason, and nobody took the extra time, caring, compassion, and thoroughness and patience and love it would have taken to find out the truth---so the the greatest crime prevailed---far greater than the act that was understood to be the "justifiable damnation", but isn't it always the breeding grounds for justifiable damnation when conclusions about the biggest things in life are so quickly assumed to be true when they aren't. Reverse the crime with patience, love, understanding, caring being thorough, being careful, and remember the act of returning the wallet held such integrity that your shine will show the light to everyone else sooner or later but your light will forever shine regardless so don't unjustifiably **** yourself either---love yourself---and thank you for returning the wallet
Mar 3, 2015
Mar 3, 2015 at 7:34 PM UTC
Conditional beyond reasonable
Is how our relationship sometimes feels...
More often than I'd care to admit.
My love is unconditional
And, therefore, can be easily used (abused?)
The value forgotten or blinded whenever I act human, imperfect, fragile or broken... Inconvenient I am. So are we all.
Where does your anger come from?
Taken for granted
Until you find something YOU miss.
Over and over again, this cycle persists...
Only according to your terms
Only if convenient
Only if it serves your sole purpose
Only if maintenance-free
Only if easy... Perfect... Not too much trouble...
UNTIL there is something you need...
From me.
Yes, boundaries are a necessity.
But relationships based on
Convenience for oneself
Are not relationships, at all..
They are one-way streets
Serving one person's agenda
Controlling, manipulative, self-serving, emotional toil...
And, somehow, always justifiable (in your eyes)
Because I am not who you want me to be...
I don't fit your "ideal" mold.
And you feel that is what you are owed?
(I honestly don't know...)
Except when you feel alone, afraid, or empty.
You don't dare lose what you can use! (abuse?)
But dare I say or do something amiss...
Your "conditions" will persist.
How do I say "stop!" when my role is to love, protect, and forgive?
Pain. What to do with all the pain.
If I tell, I will be blamed for my pain causing your pain...
This, my love, is NOT love.
No relationship of substance exists
When such rules and expectations persist.
Oct 26, 2014
Oct 26, 2014 at 12:46 PM UTC
I was once accused of being the devil under a darkened moon on a foggy night
Now, I've met the devil and let me tell you
The devil once beat me with a curtain rack over my back until I bled
Only to pretend it was in the sport of the game
I've met the devil
In fact, the devil used to show my mom love from the end of a fist and in the sunrise after a long night of crying
Would convince her it was in the name of his love for her
I've befriended the devil
The Devil once taught me how to pick locks and marks minding their own business
And to prey on these people, nay,
Opportunities
Like my life depended on it
I've lived with the devil
The devil kept once locked me in a house-shaped-prison before flinging me into the world unprepared, and dazed
Only to blame me for not watching the outside close enough from my foggy window
I've loved the devil
And eagerly, I gutted myself in the devil's name each time she asked me to see my still beating heart
Only to be confused as to why she hated the mess that followed my orders
I've sacrificed to the devil
I've taken my own heart and soul, and impaled them on a blade made of pure jaded spite, only to lay them with all the other hearts I've stolen and pierced
Unknowingly, yet undoubtedly maliciously.
I've kissed the devil
And in that deal I sealed my fate a lifetime of servitude to a soul I helped created
And created a bond with the devil that was forbidden for good reason
I've lied to the devil
Only to have my mistakes return and slash me across the face like the blade that is the sun's beams shedding light on a long night of forgetting problems
No matter how justifiable he claimed I was
I've seen the devil
He watched me from the bottom of an orange tube only to switch his view finder to something he could swim in
And once more, even now,
As it dances on the end of my blunts
I've met the devil
And I've met the devil many times throughout my lifetime
I've met the devil enough times to identify it by smell, or hearing
Despite it coming with a new assortment of blends, a new chirp every time it appears, and a new look complete with me words
**** at one point, it was me
But I know this Now:
I am not (currently),
Nor will I be ever again,
The Devil.
Jul 16, 2020
Jul 16, 2020 at 1:11 AM UTC
i am grateful for stretch denim on days
when
**** it
is a fashion statement
for lavender laundry detergent
because that smell reminds me of the home i've built in my head
for tea at
2 a.m.
when all the things i've done race in my head
because the next morning, i usually get my **** together
for colds
because they make eating an entire roll of cinnamon buns
completely justifiable
for the mountains that surround me
for NPR and good, rated M fanfiction
for def poetry when i can't find the right words
for finding a pack of cigarettes when it is only
11:30pm on a thursday night
and i am well past drunk in a slightly damp armchair
for harry potter and neil gaiman
for when twenty dollars fills up my gas tank
for my grandma's potato salad and biscuits with honey
for feminist zines that make me want to smash the patriarchy
for burts bees chapstick and jasmine-green tea
for friends who let me cry on their
bedroom floors
for books that keep me entertained
(even if that means me crying in my bathtub while reading them)
for courtney love and joan jett because those *******
have ridden in my car with me over many
heart-breaks
for well-water and sulfate free red wine
for johnny cash and new orleans and whiskey
for salt-- because that **** can wash away anything
for farmer's markets and co-ops
for bottles of water and for cookie dough
when my mouth
is the consistency of cotton and my mind is a little bit gone
for warm days in January and cold days in September
for breakfast and for hikes that begin at five a.m.
for summer nights drunk on wine and a little too much fire
for friends who call me 'momma bear' and for friends that call me 'baby bird'
for poems that give you cold chills
and flowers stolen from my neighbor's yard
for skin that smells like the sun and sage
for beeswax candles
and the smell of clean laundry
for days when i wake up and realize
i could have died on a bathroom floor
Jan 22, 2013
Jan 22, 2013 at 7:17 PM UTC
I'm the anarchist judging all those hypocrites
You're the hypocrite judging all those anarchists
There is a thin line between guys like you and I
We share a...Similar scene, though
Filled with...Sin-ful Misfits.
Clean cut suits, or ripped jeans
Baby, it doesn't matter to me...
No time to flatter, its time for the crime
Of justifiable homicide.
May 23, 2015
May 23, 2015 at 6:39 PM UTC
media says you
obey the new curfew
the men in black suits
drooped there blues just to hit you
oath breakers lament at the days of justice
glad that there gone, joyous warrior busts sit
in place of the ten in court houses and school pits
correctional facilities a mural of magnanimity
fasad removed infirmary's
making monsters of men once just true to peace
that's why I must say don't just police the police
put in brief question everything
even the words I'm saying
if all this **** hits
any resistance will be terrorism
any act will be justifiable in the name of containment
and no injustice
no matter how grievous
will need anything more to be welcomed
as the flag "to stop the Ebola"
50% chance of death to all infected
100% chance to rule the world
1% chance to have a peace of the pie
99% chance to die
Nov 3, 2014
Nov 3, 2014 at 2:28 PM UTC
The quiet nights spent alone
Cold as the iciest winter
Wandering wondering
If things had happened in reverse,
Would they be somewhat better?
True Affliction
Unwise decisions
Regretting forgiveness that was once given
Faulty thoughts
Impaired judgments
Logic flawed with justifiable reason
Transgressing to levels uncertain
A tornado of doubt destroys every light in sight
With every dreadful memory that resurfaces
Of the darkest times in her life
The anxiety clouds her mind
Uncertainty glares from behind her eyes
Scars of past loves, past exes, past wounds, past lies
They cover her face
Shown in the bags above her cheeks
The darkness behind her pupils
And the depression contained in them
A midnight black
A dark hole only caused by deep sorrow
Unfathomable Heartache
Overly afraid of the unknown
How will she learn to let go?
As if instinctively hesitant of others intentions
She treads vigilantly amongst
Those of even the utmost caliber
Stern refusal to release her guard
Such little remaining to give
She clings sacredly onto the last of her
To think,
Never again will she slip and fall
Blindly into loves tainted cage
Never again will she be trapped in loves locks
Like an animal untamed
Internally shattered in a zoo of impure emotion
How will she decipher the wrong from the right person?
Passively awaiting
The next bearer of alleged variation
When history has too often chosen to repeat
The differences in being different
Eventually turn out to be exactly the same
Jul 16, 2014
Jul 16, 2014 at 7:49 PM UTC
A constant stream of justifiable lies. Contorts what I want from my life.
What used to seem impossible is now my reality
but I'm not so sure I want it anymore
because it is different
so different than what I thought it would be
Is it worth the games I'm forced to play in order to dream?
Today is hard but tomorrow will be worse because I will wake up to hate
reflected back at myself
There are so many things I should do. There are so many things I should want.
Do we not define our own success? Each to their own version of happiness?
But all I keep thinking is
I shouldn't be eating
Jan 28, 2014
Jan 28, 2014 at 7:36 PM UTC
And some slept,
And some dreamt,
And some made their way into the world
Logical, rational, enforced lives
that all added up.
And I never realized when the silver bullet missed me,
my chance for immortality gone
I had thought of some days
I am nowadays glad to just see through days.
I live in full fiction
Where goddesses walk right into your arms
and superlative co-incidences mean something.
Where physical attraction is justifiable and
hormones understand each other
across bodies.
I have loved you,
however immaterial my love maybe to the rest of you
and the circumstances
I will love you
till I find meaning
and thousands of barbarians invade across millions of
homes, unsuspecting
where the disease of one human mind reaches
and surpasses all minds .
Where I finally get mad
and act on it.
There are some stories I haven't heard.
You can tell me a few of those
on my way to the mad-house.
I have a shelf full of unread books
and with every day of disappointment
the shelf keeps piling up.
I at-least hope that in my non fictional existence
One day, you will read my feelings
even though, you won't necessarily act on them.
Sep 13, 2012
Sep 13, 2012 at 12:13 AM UTC
There is a word that expresses all
the ways in which you have disappointed me
and driven me to tears of frustration;
I could not enumerate them without displacing
my mind in the process,
I can only seethe in the chagrin
that you have left behind you,
a thick gelatinous mess you spread
with each movement of your sluggish body
and with each breath you take
you augment my resentment for you
until it boils over into one expression,
one word that encompasses this
empirically justifiable vexation,
uttered with the sarcastic malice
that could drive it into your dense English skull;
cheers.
Aug 3, 2013
Aug 3, 2013 at 12:33 PM UTC
As true as the Trinity
And Christ's divinity,
And as heavy as gravity,
My total depravity
Is undeniable.
But God created me justifiable,—
_Me_, who's more of a Don Knotts
Than an Isaac Watts.
Jun 9, 2022
Jun 9, 2022 at 11:44 PM UTC
Placing my life on a bet
I lay on a motel bed
With heart pounding
And long loud emotional howling
That screams at the ****** inside me.
All throughout the act
I remain ‘inert’
While that pervert!
Gags and squirt.
Forcibly moaning
So as to earn a loaf of bread
for a family whose chieftain is dead.
This is the reason why I lay on bed.
Despite all this they make me culpable
Knowing very well with this I am feeding incapable.
If this is the law then answer me whether in true sense it is justifiable?
My only cry is my body has been taken for far too long
Does anybody want to take my heart along?
Aug 17, 2018
Aug 17, 2018 at 5:12 AM UTC
I'm sorry, my dear.
I try not to miss you, but it's hard.
I feel discarded even though that wasn't the case.
You ended our partnership by completely justifiable terms,
And you are the most wonderful person I could've met,
But I can't move on even though you felt I'd be happier doing so,
Instead of waiting for you to readjust your life
When the truth is I'd be happier waiting.
I'm sorry, my dear.
I'd like to apologize; you're still on my mind nearly every hour.
You're an intruder of my thoughts, but welcome in my arms.
You sit in silence in my subconscious,
As it yells to you to answer, to assure me that you still love me.
And it drives me insane, because I know you still do.
What I don't know is if you still want me or not,
But I know that I want you way too much.
I'm sorry, my dear.
I don't know where to go from here.
I'm not sure if I should fight for you, or if I should go completely.
I'm leaning towards a compromise to be casual with you,
But I'm unsure if that would do me more harm than good.
I never understood what bitterness and jealousy was
Until I loved you, and I found myself finding other men vile
Merely for sharing a common passion: you.
I'm sorry, my dear.
I should leave well enough alone.
Perhaps it is better for us to be apart,
But I just don't see it yet.
But all I can see in the future is you or a void of confusion and emptiness,
So you can see why I'm having such a hard time picking the latter.
I know I should live in the moment and not the past.
But the past was the happiest time of my life.
I'm sorry, my dear.
I wish I could make you understand.
Jan 14, 2016
Jan 14, 2016 at 11:09 AM UTC
Invincible beauty, her gaze undeniable
She'll pull you in with her wings of steel
Unintentionally you stare, but it's justifiable
She's everything you never imagined was real
Wild shadows play in the light of her eyes
Her will indestructible and ready to take flight
An eternal battle rages between truth and reason
So captured by the light of this shifting prism
Angels had caught her gazing into the heavens
Now she's ready to overthrow whole kingdoms
She's one dark butterfly in a field of fake roses
In the wake of her aura that was unfolded
A new world arose while a corrupt one closes
She'll remind you of the power you left out in the open
And to fight for the right to live in the moment
Mar 21, 2014
Mar 21, 2014 at 9:49 PM UTC
You sit at your screen
fingertips flying in the face of decency
like a spigot attached to a vat of arsenic
dripping your poison, slowly, surely into the ears of the unthinking.
You justify the burnt skin, the orphans, the unending torture as deserved.
Deserved?
How can it be so?
Go tell the orphan, scarred and screaming that her fate was deserved.
Go stand beside mass graves and thumb your nose at the deserving corpses, stained by the blood of ages.
Where is your heart?
does it choke and sputter,
buried beneath your all encompassing loathing?
You call me stupid, maybe so,
my views naive, my compassion wasted
yet my heart beats proudly, swells with love
while my tired eyes drown at the unfolding horror.
War is not a spectator sport,
it is not justifiable, nor deserved.
Call me stupid if you will, ridiculous if you must
call me any number of names in your attack on my spirit
I will not care, I will not bend or bow.
Your hatred will be your undoing.
Not mine
Jul 24, 2014
Jul 24, 2014 at 4:19 AM UTC
***My fortress of solitude
solidifies regret
counterbalancing justification
with waning self worth
It could be worse
and I am imperfect
so I stay in this place invisible
seen only in degrees unworthy
But here alone
I can pretend I am strong
the truth hidden
by what I cannot show
Words are my friends
where my thoughts
are my enemies
Still, I remain
Not bad enough to leave
Just horrible enough to keep me hidden in this isolation
ashamed to show my face
afraid to be free and learn...
it's all true***
May 7, 2017
May 7, 2017 at 11:09 AM UTC
Day after day
Week after week
Month after month
Year after year
You've shown the world
How not to be an employer
Treating your employees like slaves
Demeaning them with insults
That were way below the belt
Denying them their basic pay
For which they have braved storms
Scaled towering mountain peaks
And dived to the bottom of the Pacific Ocean
And firing a few of them
For no justifiable reason whatsoever
Today, however
You have sunk to a new low
It is bad enough to not pay your employees
But to accuse them of not doing their jobs
And lie to their faces'
That you've been paying them properly
Is despicable to the core
And goes on to show
That you are nothing more
Than a rat in the gutter
But then, the rat at least deserves to be put out of its misery
You, on the other hand
Deserve to rot in the confines of Tihar Jail
For a very very long time
Of course, we all know the famous saying
An eye for an eye makes the whole world blind
But it applies only to human beings
You are not one
Mar 17, 2022
Mar 17, 2022 at 12:55 PM UTC
Everything has a purpose, a meaning.
Ever little movement has a reason.
I know i understand.
No matter how painful something gets I try to be the best, i want to be the best
The one who never turns their back on you.
But today my dignity and freedom were questioned.
This is something i can not handle, something i will not ignore.
My suffering is justifiable, no blame can be put on anyone or anything.
I deserve what i suffer.
I just need to figure a way to solve it, get ride of it.
Despite everything i still am thankful for what i have even though it may not be enough.
Anger and dissatisfaction is not the answer, but i still can't help but close my room door and cry.
Burry my head in the darkness of my arms and weep,
Sob until it feels as if my flesh is being eaten,
My eyes are turning into fire,
My lungs are fighting for breath.
My heart beats as fast as lighting strikes.
A storm that grows inside me.
I feel shame, i feel doubt i feel trapped.
But i still i do not blame.
The day i do i will lose the ability to fight, to even move.
Everything is in the open now, everything that i tried to hide because of my pride is revealed.
The only good that can come from this is the direction i am getting, the step i have decided to take.
Aug 28, 2012
Aug 28, 2012 at 9:52 PM UTC