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I am myself Dec 2019
For three years I have worked towards a dream
now I am defeated
when you give your all
and it it’s the good enough
how can you keep trying

i no longer believe in fairness
or that working hard will help you to
achieve your “dreams”
that is *******
that corporations feed you to keep you
Complacent

work hard! do better! be best!
no. that’s the koolaid you are drinking
the society that says you can achieve anything with hard work
It is all lies
You suddenly wake up

everything has been a lie
you have wasted all this time
your life is a lie
you have no hope
you are in a corporate nightmare
nothing you do matters
I am myself Apr 2019
For two years
we spent every day together
every night talking
I thought we were friends

For two years I listened to you
talk about everything
heart ache, family, work
I thought I knew you

FOR TWO YEARS
I SUPPORTED YOU
I HELPED YOU THROUGH SO MUCH
why now is it like this

You say now that I am your darkness
that I make you an alcoholic
You perverted everything we did
and tried to take my friends

For two months
you ignored me
We live together but you ignored me
now it’s been four months


And I’ve given up on you
My supposed friend got mad that I had to be away for a few weeks to take care of my mother after a surgery and decided that I was the cause of all of her problems (that have existed longer than I’ve known her) and start ignoring me because I wasn’t around to listen to her like I had been every day for more than two years. I finally said something after two months of the silent treatment and she went off about how I’m the cause of all of her issues and then proceeded to refer back to a bunch of things that either never happened or didn’t happen the way she said that all made me seem like a monster and she had been telling these things to my best friend to try and separate us so that she could try and hook up with my best friend. Needless to say she can *******
I am myself Feb 2019
When I look at you
I feel like I am in my fantasy
You are the ray of afternoon sun
caressing my skin
as I lay reading

You are the excitement
that bubbles inside of me
when something brings me laughter

Even my favorite fictional character
-created with only lovable flaws-
cannot fill me with such a rush
of pure joy

You are the golden amber rays of sunlight
the delicate wings in my chest
fluttering glowing warmth
You fill my senses
I am myself Feb 2019
It’s no wonder the great artists
rendered you in so many forms
in stone or paint
You could be no more beautiful

Dark lines and a wicked bough
dancing merry eyes
You are everything
I am myself Feb 2018
In the shower
I keep peeking out
making sure
no one is there

I’ve never seen ******
but somehow the shower scene
Is stuck in my head
but... mine stars Pennywise

The movie isn’t real
I know that
I’m a grown up
but in the dark...
i don’t feel like it

ive stopped sleeping.
the dark hall outside of my room
always seems to hold
a pair of glowing eyes
I shouldn’t have watched IT
I am myself Oct 2017
it feels like i have been waiting for a hundred years//we have been together since we were teens//i watched you become a man//you stayed by my side and loved me// it’s been several years now//and i am starting to question marriage// if 50% of marriages end in divorce—- maybe—- i don’t want to risk you// maybe the state itself is a curse// i cant figure out what is different between that and our relationship// other than a title change—- maybe I should keep you the way we are now
I am myself Oct 2017
Today everything was weird-not like anything was wrong but I felt off-I wasn’t hungry/couldn’t focus/couldn’t make sense of the words I was saying-

days like today have been more frequent lately— my sleeping is uneven and restless—my waking feels like I’m watching my own life through a snow globe waiting for everything to be shaken up
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