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Simon Clark Aug 2012
(Song title from Bukka White’s catalogue, by B. White)

I saw a young girl standing on the bridge,
Golden hair,
Rosy lips and frightened eyes,
Water runs from deep inside,
She stares across the Thames as it flows fast and rough,
She’s fixin’ to die; she’s had enough.
written in 2010
If ya fixin' to start the party in a hurry
it's ******* before alcohol!

If ya fixin' to stop the party in a hurry
it's ******* after alcohol!
As Steel Panther frontman Michael Starr says: "If you're gonna drink and drive, do a bump of coke first to sober you up. Be responsible for christsake!"
Jeremy Betts Feb 2018
{Political}

What in the actual fuuck are we doin'?
Shootin' one another equals out to a no win
Showin' only that we are capable of goin' where we've already been
It's been provin'
Even good men can watch sin turn into addiction
Jonsen for a fix 'n looking for a substance to mix in
To distort your perception of the mess you're in
Crossing that line between wishin' straight into non fiction
And once you do that you've gone way beyond fixin'
But don't nobody listen to reason, we witnessin treason
As the agonizingly slow killing season eliminates believin'
So we turn on our kin and every non-citizen with different skin
And every US born citizen with a different complexion or opinion
We lack the discipline to avoid the tail spin
That we've gotten ourselves in, onboard this doomed zeppelin
A people forsaken so that the one percent can rake in a few more billion
This creates a toxin, affectin' everyone from grandparents to children
Shortenin' the distance to your coffin
A foundation of sand, yeah, we all know how that'll end
I gotta question, who pays the dividend?
When push comes to shove, and it will, who gets the win?
When all the frustration of an entire nation comes to a head and our "leader" is out on another vacation
What's it going to take to tip the scale in our direction?
Maybe its to late to take any kind of action
At least any that will bring some sort of satisfaction
Only living a fraction of your life and the rest through a corporation
No line, no separation, just a part of the consumer relation
And they don't want you to awaken and realize what's been taken
That's the reason for conspiracy, call it a theory to add complication and feed the confusion
Make the equation so impossible you raise fear to an elevation where you can strike with no confirmation
The laceration that severed any credibility will be our damnation
This great nation of ours quickly turned into the greatest abomination
Almost as if we set up and executed or own assassination
A goal of global ******* has always led to a civilizations extinction
History has proven to repeat itself and over and over again...we miss the lesson
So let it sink in...if this is our new direction we're destin to lose the beacon
No hope of a better tomorrow to believe in
If only it was as simple as leavin but it's not, this won't even stop if we destroy the villainous demon
So what do we do?...I have no ******* clue but this boat is sinkin'

©2018
Jim Davis May 2019
Look what the cat done drug in
Slow on down... darlin’!
Hol’ yo horses!
Don’t go get’n a conniption fit
Or get’n your knickers in a knot!
Hush up
Or’n I’m a goin **** a knot in yo tail!


I’m busy as a one legged cat in a sandbox,  
but I’m fixin tell what we got here at JuJu’s

Now lookie here...

we got
crawfish mild spicy
crawfish medium spicy
crawfish spicy spicy

we got
crawfish with corn
crawfish with sausage
crawfish with potatoes

we got
crawfish with red sauce
crawfish with pink sauce
crawfish with melted butter

If y’all a bit dry...
we got
crawfish with canned soda
crawfish with bottled water
crawfish with beer
crawfish with BYOB

Or we gots
jus’ crawfish

Go on an pick how yo’ want yo’ crawfish spiced, then go on an decide what yo’ wanna add!  I reckon we gots dang near 362,888 ways to eat these here mudbugs

You might could get
spicy spicy crawfish with
Zummo’s sausage
spicy spicy crawfish with corn
spicy spicy crawfish with potatoes
spicy spicy crawfish with
Zummo’s sausage and corn
spicy spicy crawfish with
Zummo’s sausage and potatoes
spicy spicy crawfish with
Zummo’s sausage, corn and potatoes
spicy spicy crawfish with
Zummo’s sausage and beer
spicy spicy crawfish with corn and beer
spicy spicy crawfish with potatoes and beer
spicy spicy crawfish with
Zummo’s sausage, corn, potatoes
and beer

I could go on...
till I’m plum tuckered out... but...

Got it?  You good??
You want mushrooms
Well, I’ll be
Don’t go axin... what we ain’t got
No siree bob, no mushrooms

We also ain’t got tea, sweet or unsweet
But sweet’s the only way to have tea sweetie

If you want soda, you can get
Coke, Diet Coke, Sprite, Dr Pepper
Diet Dr Pepper, Hawaiian Punch, Brisk Tea
Or Root Beer

We also got shrimp... just boiled

We also got gloves... half a dollar

Well, I’m worn slap out!

Watcha have a hankerin for?   

Take your own sweet time!  

Sit a spell

You’ll soon be full as a tick on a big dog!

Happy as a dead pig in sunshine!

You’ll wanna slap yer mama!

Can’t decide hon?

I do declare!

Aren’t you precious?

(now... he startin get on my last nerve)

Still...can’t make up your mind?

Well... I can’t do it fer ya!

(bout aggravatin as a rock)

You picky?  

(Lawd have mercy!)

Bless your heart!  

©  2019 Jim Davis
It’s a Southern thing! Had 3 pounds of mudbugs for lunch today at JuJu’s Crawfish Shak in Fannet!  Be sure and stop by if you’ve got time!
I swear this is word for word!
Cunning Linguist Nov 2013
throw some ****** coal in this steam locomotive
fueled by drugs, fame, money, *******, and notierity
all them girls know its me,
and some think its Reid,
but they not in the game
muhfuckas know my name (Charlie Sheen)

all these ****** uppers in my nasal passages
can't handle this
parents goin through my phone and they check my text messages
they like - "riddle me this
all you do is talk about drugs and spittin game on *******
when you gon make us proud son
you sling dope but we aint seen one
penny - and we gettin sick of it
not because your raps are ill
but because you're selfish
clean your room, do your homework, and get a job
or you'll be homeless
suckin **** for crack
and you don't want that
then you won't be able to attack and conquer
Make some change - cause you're drivin me and your father bonkers
and your ****** moniker is Reid Donovan not Charlie Sheen"

Uh...

And i be like...
"don't fret Mom, urrbody love me
i'm a terrorist droppin bombs on these rap songs
and one day
i'ma be rich as ****
all because i'm a genius
ballin, swag my *** out like Josef Stalin
and i dictate, reiterating as I weave my words so great
too late, to stop my hostile take over
i'll show her, how to ****** peddle and be stellar
mean smokin green
well up, runnin these streets
watch me take over the world
cause the name I sign my checks with is Charlie Sheen
I be, conducting
noxious, fallout as I spit
cause my saliva is toxic
white *** *******
but i'm still hood rich

We gon take over the world
while I'm on my Charlie Sheen ****
watch me stand tall
high above all the rest
see me on national TV
believe they'll remember me as the best
stick me with a knife
and watch me bleed liquid gold
nationwide tours, sold out shows
winning - throw my fastball
three strikes - all the oppositions out
wolf gang **** them all

and you know I be on those strikes
cause I aint about them ***** - no
I'm Charlie Sheen *****

I'm gon take over the world
while Mac Miller's getting mad
you're only seventeen kid,
how you write **** like that
Its because
the only present I ever got for christmas
was a big box of swag
just messin take some lessons

man i'm jonesin
8 am, gotta hankerin for a fixin
call the operator cause i'm on a ****** mission
big dave answers my call
and I reach those outer limits,
all he says is press pound and i'll connect you to the mooooon

When girls ask me if I be on that Charlie Sheen ****,
I just tell em no - I AM CHARLIE SHEEN *****
I wrote this when I was 17.
mucking out my mind
looking for buried treasure
and making repairs
Senryu
Serebral Spring Oct 2014
The Oppression of my people
can not be summed up in one word

A word that flies
Flies like a hummingbird

He eats soup
As I cry

he prays
As I sigh

You Do not KNOW ME
You only know my struggle

How Dare You come to me?
In your time of Need.

You need a fixin?
God Bless Juan Dixon.
SLAM poetry.
I Blink 182 times,
Can I Handle This
This is the Sum of 41 reasons I won't smile this holiday
I'm feeling like I may Fall Out, Boy do I hate thinking about who's buying your presents this year.
It's weird how this holiday season is always a new All Time Low
**** this place. I would much rather Walk The Moon fixin for something that warms my heart again. So I hold it in my hands and breathe.
And I Imagine Dragons breathing fire onto my skin, maybe someone will call me hot.
Maybe Someone will Hear Me.
I sit on my Front Porch Step Aware of the Mayday Parade that marches down my spine and I forget how to walk.
How to talk
how to breathe as I Panic! At the disco music that you seem to really like.
You are memories of a ride in a Death Cab
For Cutie I Will Follow You Into The Dark.
If I'm not already there.
And I will Parachute into Owl City and lie in your bed that is a Passion Pit.
It entramps me and keeps me hostage and I hate what your sheets feel like.
You make me think that love is Of Monsters and Men and that women don't feel that word.
You have killed me a thousand times,
Queen
of ******* over the things I have planned.
We are My Chemical Romance a toxic ******* life threatining carcinogen trying to **** me.
But this is Kinda Punkish I Guess and again I have my playlist.
That sounds like you but it saves me and doesn't **** me.
Here's a Simple Plan this holiday. Leave me the **** alone this year.
Dorothy Apr 2014
But what about me!? What about my feelings!?
What about my needs!? It’s my heart you’re unknowingly stealing!

Don’t ignore my love, I’ll make you miss my presence
Show you what you’ve lost so you wished you never left it
Because I know you didn’t mean to drop my heart, here’s some glue
Now get to fixin’ I’m desperate

Obsessed and conniving with a plash guile touch
When did she get so vigilant with her fussbudget qualities?

OH babygirl you’re to much!
Stop wanting things you cant have, and don’t force someone to Love.
You fell for him big deal, doesn’t mean it was meant to be.
Don’t let this one guy devastate you
It’s your love and you can still give it out freely.

Lets not add another person with their heart locked down
’cause of a few let downs
All casually swimming in that
Pool of “I don’t believe in true love” crowd
They go around shut off from the world
Refusing life’s love passion pearls

Instead accept the ones who loves you now
More love will come your way, quit searching for a when,where & how
Let nature take it’s course and follow it
Restrict not your love just the need for it to always be accepted

Prince charming will be here to scoop up his queen
In the meantime enjoy having just yourself, figure out what life’s got to offer
Its right at your fingertips nearly bursting at the seams.
Jeremy Betts May 2022
The risk of takin' time to begin mendin' a broken and frozen heart is it could stop its natural rhythmic beatin' at any given moment, without adequate warnin'
Matter of fact it's bound to happen like global warmin', that's the only endin' found followin' right on the heels of drownin'
Any other prediction goin' 'round is only white noise background sound of them denyin' and rewritin' facts, specializin' in turnin' backs and bold face lyin'
I constantly find myself suffocatin' in my own skin like it's a plastic bag grippin' my face, compression at the neck, not lettin' air in
Debatin' whether or not to go all in and fight this overpowered and undefeated depression with persistence and medication, maybe some meditation and self reflection
Or should I just go ahead and give in again, puttin' in little to no effort to change the end into somethin' worth strivin' for, will there even be someone there lookin' forward to me arrivin'?
This is not pretend or manipulation, basically I'm forfeitin' due to exhaustion and frustration, handin' over the rains, just givin' my inner demon the win
I'm sick and tired of bein' tired and sick, gettin' beaten, pickin' myself up just to start takin' the walk of shame back to some new beginnin'
Plus, spoiler alert, I already know the final boss battle in this surreal engine is just gonna be against myself, once again
Same as its always been, it's not about to start changin' now, no amount of trainin' or preparation' will stop this from happenin'
Like the programer guy and I are playing a side game of chicken, he's got nothin' to lose, I've already lost everythin' holdin' out for a win that's never comin', never a celebration
I'll die if I don't keep moving 'cause I can see the next hardship comin', it's ******' gainin' on me quickly and I don't have a remedy or solution so, tail between legs, I start runnin'
I'm noticin' the **** selection, nothing good comes from either decision especially if you're plannin' on bringin' logic in as part of the equation, it should help but it's only a complication
And I'm forced to pick a direction without knowin' the destination or what I'll be facin' or what's waitin' for me at the finish lines location
Even without an imagination as dark as mine you can see its a risky expidition with low to no expectation of finishin'
Hope diminishin' past salvation, straight to damnation and a bitter end
Death awaits every person ever born, he's never missed one and I won't be the exception, it's the when I'm questionin', on my knees prayin', shiftin' seamlessly into beggin'
In one hand I could win the battle that's ragin' in between my ears, lord knows I'm tired of listenin'
On the other hand I lose the war, therefore there's no reason for even tryin', no goin' back to the beginnin', no rewindin'
I'm left nursin' a wound that's turned into an infection and its quickly spreadin', entertainin' the thought of idle hand amputation
Don't need to be an open heart surgeon, it's already been broken twice and put on ice, I'll just rip it out then hold it up for all to see before it completely stops pulsatin'
The fixation has never been on fixin' anythin' but rather dodgin' any situation that'll get me lookin' within
Possibly havin' to acknowledge I might not be worth savin', is that me speakin' or my shoulder devil at it again'?
It's gettin' harder and harder to tell the difference, both soundin' the same, the blurred line causes confusin'
I know the notion of what I'm sayin' isn't easy to comprehend much less believe in
And that's the reason why I've bottled every emotion and set them floatin' out in the vast ocean
To keep me from bein' a burden to anyone but one person, you're lookin' at him and I lie and say it's workin'
I don't know what I was thinkin' not takin' this more serious from the beginnin'
It's been ruinin' my life's mission, runnin' up a tab of bad karma that I'm gonna wind up payin'
Stoppin' all forward motion by keepin' me frightened to the point I've given up on fightin'
The results are in and it's unsettlin', I now only seem to be nothin' but a punchin' bag for Satan and his legion
I'm startin' to come undone at the seams and it seems like no one's carin' but I don't know what else I was expectin'
I could've predicted that with precision like I have the ability to be time travelin'
Knowin' for certain what the future is bringin' but I'm just goin' off of every previous lesson that left a lastin' impression
But still not seein' the big picture, fussin' over the small **** like somethin' on the roof of my mouth I can't stop tonguin'
Wastin' precious time that I could've been usin' to at least soften the blow I know is creepin' up, comin' 'round the bend with the collection plate to put my fate in
But again, I can't stop the regression long enough to gain traction, a continuation of my downward trend, market value crashin', free fallin' with no parachute or safety net to protect my noggin
I don't give myself permission to feel anythin' other than self derogation
Sleep deprivation has my dreams fadin', countin' one sheep, two sheep, ****, the rest have gone missin'
I'm left pickin' myself up and dustin' myself off, brushin' my own well bein' to the side, out of sight, out of mind, keep it hidden
All lefts, no right to weigh in even though it's my life my thoughts are playin' with, throwin' caution to the wind
And now that I'm broken beyond repair I get tossed into the compost bin lettin' somethin' else grow from me decomposin'
A form of reincarnation at worst, at best, a place to finally get some much needed rest in'
I'm no longer invested in livin', hell, I'll even sign my own death certificate, give me a pen

©2022
Cunning Linguist Apr 2014
Then took her by complete surprise;
Bursting forth into hysterics
I gazed into her glazed, mesmeric eyes

My intention descending like nightmarish haze;
Said **** that merit badge
Grandma ***** let the cat out the bag
I wanna play


She's fixin for a lickin
And I'm dying to get a taste

That ***** glistening so listen
Preheat the oven don't need no glove
I've got an addiction
finna bore in
frictionless!

Instantly smitten,
Her face turned shades of crimson
when I finished with
"Lets play genital hide & seek -
You're it"
It's time to remit demented dementia baby
I'm not so easy to forget;
& I'm shots of splotchy red like syphilis

Don't front like you won't give me the nookie
Girl urrbody had a crack at your world famous cookies
& I just can't keep my hand out the jar


Tonight I'll wrestle a cougar with my bare hands
I pity the fool
who'd refuse
To dust off that honeypot
& Dive in head first
Like Winnie the Pooh
Maxi Jul 2015
Tick Tick Tick.
3am.
3am. see. that's when the
clock broke and I broke down
Put my pride aside and
decided I'd take ink to my crumpled up heart
to write you a letter
with the tainted blood you left flowing through my veins
the, clock broke and now I'm wondering when mourning you ends
and morning begins again
3am and I'm accepting the apologies that I never received
3am and i'm coming to terms with the lies that I never believed
I was always blissfully ignorant to the truths you kept as secrets
painfully aware of all the lies you cowered under
3am and I'm simply searching for the
truth in real ties and the pleasure in pain
Can you give me that?
I'm fixin' on how to rewind time, and fix the
hands on your clock
you know
so that they match mine
my thoughts sit on a grey cloud in my mind
and I realize.
I can't write anymore.
without you--I can barely even breathe
so tell me...how am I
supposed to place two words standing together
while this whole time I've been on my knees
tick. tick. tick.
3am, that's when the clock blocked and my hand stopped
how am gonna finish this ?... I guess I'm not.
****, writer's block.
BacciaGalupe Nov 2012
I spoke to your Guardian Angel,
He Said you were doin' just great,
He said I could visit you sometime,
But I can't seem to fit through the gate.

I want you to know I miss you,
I think of you a lot,
But since you're not here
With me, my dear,
There are lots of things,
I'm not.

I'm not out there workin the corner
Leanin against the wall
Waitin for cash, fixin the ash,
On a pipe I'll smoke in a hall.

I'm not dope-sick and pukin out on the porch floor,
Worried how long till you come through the door.
I'm sorry I couldn't have stopped you
I admit, I didn't try hard,
I wasn't aware when you left me there,
Death was waiting downstairs, in a car.

I know now I couldn't have stopped you,
Or even have made you wait,
Destiny knocked on the door that night,
And told you,
You couldn't be late.

I spoke to your Guardian Angel,
He said I could stop in my mind,
Blaming myself,
Or anyone else,
You were part of God's plan
The whole time.
Dedicated to the memory of Lori L. Delgado, taken from life in a senseless act of brutality, inspired by the monster of drug addiction. RIP Lori, May your story save at least one life.
Refrain:
Oh Mr. Obama its your war now
war profits are up and so is the Dow
we've carried the gun and dropped the plough
these wars must end so end them now

Osama bin Laden hit us hard
he knocked down our buildings
in a murderous barrage
then President Bushie
atop a rubble heap
vowed to **** Osama
bury em for keeps

Refrain:
Oh Mr. Obama its your war now
war profits are up and so is the Dow
we've carried the gun and dropped the plough
these wars must end so end them now

W and Dickie invaded Afghan
soon thereafter disposed of Saddam
seven years later casualties swell
these wars are nightmares a living hell

Bombs destroy civilian homes
missiles strike by killer drones
collateral damage a cardinal sin
hearts and minds we'll never win

Oh Mr. Obama
this is your war now
we don't care who started it
it don't matter no how

sign the peace papers
make the hard call
bring the troops home
before one more falls

to build our country
we need global friends
fightin for oil
is war without end

You must think it over
give it some thought
the lives you ended
the horror wrought

Refrain:
Oh Mr. Obama its your war now
war profits are up and so is the Dow
we've carried the gun and dropped the plough
these wars must end so end them now

Our country needs fixin
there's much to do
jobs, health n schoolin
and homeless vets too

you got a Nobel
a prize for peace
you said war was hell
is too hard to cease

to continue the course
to bomb and bash
hate grows against us
we risk a great crash

a hope we can believe in
you would oft say
you win election
we don't change our ways

these wars are pointless
don't make no sense
bring the troops home
let the war machine rest


Refrain:
Oh Mr. Obama its your war now
war profits are up and so is the Dow
we've carried the gun and dropped the plough
these wars must end so end them now

Afghans are dying
they take up arms
to **** young Yanks
and do us harm

so think of moms,
lovers and friends
of young dead soldiers
we'll never hold again

how are you sleeping?
do you toss and turn?
do the faces of dead ones
make your conscience burn?

So Mr. Obama
just bring them home now
the Good Lord will bless you
beat swords into ploughs

Refrain:
Oh Mr. Obama its your war now
war profits are up and so is the Dow
we've carried the gun and dropped the plough
these wars must end so end them now

Music Selection:
Country Joe and the Fish: Feel Like I'm Fixing to Die Rag


jbm
NYC
3/15/10
I will sing this song at its world premier debut at the Peace and Justice pre-march rally on 3/19/10 at St. Anastasia Church Teaneck New Jersey! All are invited. Please come.

Witness for Peace
Washington DC
3/20/10

Support the Troops
End the Wars
Bring them Home Now!
LD Goodwin Jul 2013
Wake up!
Gotta ride!
Stretch Piriformis
Crawl out of bed
My God my hair!
Cold water in the face!
I can do this, I’ve done it before
One egg fried,
One piece of toast,
One bowl of granola,
One cup of courage w/ cream and brown sugar.
Do something with that hair!
Drink more liquids
I’m awake now,
walk out into the heat
It’s 8am and 75 degrees already
Go back in and fill an extra bottle
Got my Fig Newton’s
Got my Shot Blocks
Got my senses
Air up, 110 in front, 120 in back
Check brakes
Do I freewheel?
I need to clean this ride someday
What time is it?
I gotta **** again
You ready to go Dude?
Helmet on,
Gloves and glasses
Let’s go!
Ride “rollers” for the first 15 miles or so then…
Hit the hill from hell
Drink all your water now, you won’t be able to once you start climbing.
6-8 % grade  
Cat 2-3
Only a few miles long, but seems like forever
It’s like standing still
2-3 miles and hour grind
Gotta stand up now and then, my Piriformis are killing me
So steep you pop little wheelies with every stroke if you sit too far back on the bike
hands sweating through the gloves making it hard to hold on to the hoods
Grip the shifters so tight your hands get just as tired as your legs
Up and out of the saddle now,
rocking the hill, and dancing on the pedals
Glad to see false tops
Catch a breath or two
Hairpin curves so sharp I can see myself coming and going
No “circle back" rule on this hill.
Car passing by asks, “You fixin' to climb 'at dare hill?'”
Cows look at me as if I am crazy
Your mind says no
Your body says no
You say yes…. It’s just one stroke after another
90 degree heat now.
Thank God for the shade
Nothing you do after this will be as hard
But this is harder than anything you've ever done
Your body will remember what happens today
You are in oxygen deprivation the whole hill
You can't talk
You take breaths so big that your you hear your ribs creak and find their place.
You can't take your hands off the handlebar
You can't stop, you'll go down
If you stop you have to go back down to get clipped in to come back up
Your sunglasses are fogging up from the heat
You stop thinking about everything, except how to get up this hill
And then it hits you….. I am going to do this!
I am going to climb this ******* hill!
There is the top!
****, I am going to do this!

And for awhile, just as you come over the summit,
You imagine you're
wearing a polka dotted jersey,
and pretty French girls are handing you flowers,
and a cute stuffed animal,
and are kissing you on the cheek.

Then you ride the other 15 or so miles home,
take a shower, eat a bowl of pasta.
And go to work at the mall selling bicycles
to customers who have no idea
that you just gracefully climbed
a Cat 2-3 hill
in 90 degree heat,
at 61 years old


*http://www.mapmyride.com/routes/fullscreen/246751753/
Harrogat,TN July 2013
Jonny Angel Feb 2014
If I had a dollar for every poem I ever wrote,
I wouldn’t even have a grand.
How on Earth would I pay the monthly rent,
buy our food,
survive
darling?

I guess a goat & a yurt
doesn’t sound so bad after all.
We could start a garden,
grow some tomatoes & drink
fresh unpasteurized raw milk,
We could even make soap.
Fixin’ a hole in the ceiling would
just take a needle and thread.
What a simple life we’d lead,
we could actually talk to each other.

And in the winter,
we could spoon,
snuggle underneath
a real buffalo rug.
It would be groovy.
You could tug on my ear lobe
with your pretty teeth
& whisper how much
you loved me.
Zack Feb 2013
Your hair is just like your feet.
It never knows which direction it's going in.
And the only thing bigger than your brown eyes,
Are your little arms when you hold them out to your sides
Reading "Pick me up!"
You can't talk yet, but I hear you say so many things.
We named you Faith.
Which is ironic because it's something
This family is lacking.
I swear all your brothers hate each other
I'm one ***** on the neck away from moving out
And your parents are one sigh away from saying
"Let's just call it quits."

You're not even one and we've cheated you out your childhood
Like when a man cheats on his wife
We didn't really know how much heartbreaking we were fixin' to do.
It's unfair.
It's unfair how you're the only one who still smiles in these hallways
In the hallway, there's this big gray smudge that covers the wall
From when my baby brother decorated it with Crayola's
And my mom spent a week trying to get it off
But she never could.

In my opinion, that's the best ******* family portrait we are ever going to paint!
It's proof history can never be erased, no matter how much try to get rid of it, or ignore it
It's a ******* to the perfect white walls of a "perfect" white family
The dark smudge on the walls is the writing my parents will never see
The fact that it's still there after three years is proof,
That you can never stifle a child's creativity.
It's the worse excuse for a family portrait
But this house sure as hell isn't perfect in the inside.

I rather come from a broken home than be in one.
I rather remember this house when it was at it's best and leave
Then live a day to day reminder that it's never going to be that way any more.

I swear the last time my brothers and I got along was when I was five
And we pretended they were my puppies and I would feed them scraps form the table
Kids do weird **** sometimes.
Or when we'd walk around in our underwear and bathrobes
Pretending to be jedi knights with toy lightsabers
Walking around the house like it was our planet to protect.
And pretty soon I'm getting on the first rocket off this planet I can find.

The only thing that holds me back is that I feel like
I'm cheating you out one less older brother.
Trading my sister for an education and a paycheck.
A reality check.
That I can't be a kid forever.

But promise me you will try.
Promise me that whenever I come home you always will
Still have your arms outstretched wide open
Promise me you'll make mistakes and draw on walls
And explore your own planets
And that you'll be okay exploring them without me.
Promise me that when you're old enough to understand this poem
You'll write me back.
Promise me you'll be patient with mom and dad
Even though they seem like they aren't
Trust me. They're trying.
Trust me.
We named you Faith for a reason.
pat Aug 2014
Blitzin and sittin. I'm fixin on doin it in.
I
grin. I sin. I'm ****** spinnin track verses
Round house Shreq four
Poe lease store.
a ***** was like " yo.. do me".   And I'm like "uhhh..
No"

****** friends like you do
second best like you do
with your chest
brand new. Sticky bamboo.
Biggie bad panda. Panthers
up in the trees. Sticken up for the breeze
It’s a reason to be.

Bees. Bark on the trees. Back on your knees.
Back up the beat. pack up the treats.Sack up
and Beg me please
Ashamed, I'm
aimlessly aiming. Amazing. I'm feeling. A bit condescending
You like what you see?  well you might be a freak, and you
might want to seek out
a new conversation.
leads to persuasion.
Invasion of ants.
Dance Lance Vance
Rant can't pant like a dog...

No.
I break up into pieces. Piece it together
and whether or not
you spot the spot.
admit you're not a lot
yeah
your not that spacey boy astronaut.  
an anomaly
anonymously
leaking elixir
fixity fixer. Mr. mix **** salad  tell me What did you say?
That’s what I thought

mad women
a map of the bad criminals
zappin  a fat cinnamon
glass of that old pinnacle
****

a bit bare
with the wrath of a bear scaring
a dastardly dog carrying
amethyst
conglomerated

rated R, bar none
acupuncturing
gun smoke
a melatonin, ****, and a biscuit a piece

PC piper
cold cuts off a limb with a knife
fat cashing master bait
tackle, and jelly to bite

preserving space jam
hat with a jacket to match
tacked up photos of Bruce Lee
and Bruce Wayne

Wayne manor
I'd rather explain
rather be happy to pay
Dad for a crappier day.
I'm fixed soaking tooth aches
in bisquick and **** top
dollar for your  ****-talking hash tags
salad tossing apparatus

armature on a radical man grinning
as actual as furniture
wrappin a broke limb
in factory. smoke fillin in
***** and dope denim men

necessary feminist hair

I’m not  prepared for a cob salad
sort of like a bad
hairdo. A new
piece
to the paper blue noise
in a focal view

high-rise
cellophane shoes
****** do don't

don't be a ****** man
scaring kids
serenading scarecrows

sacrifice satin like
ice
nice
maybe I can make a mean price
bright
I can be content
I can be a sunny side egg
dent on an awful guys Bentley
friendly

I can shoot ****
with the bad boys
sad boys
corduroy jeans  
and an opal headed ring
See?
I can make tea and teeth
and *** in my moms bed
dead to the world
I'm a girl
no I'm not
I’m
looking for
***** up at the scene of the crime
Ive got
sixteen dollars and a pile of dimes

up in my head
ache up in my
head like a weathered old *****
I've got
super college knowledge
I apologize

Mixed up. looking for causes
cause it saws
it claws it paws at my
internal thoughts
and it aught to be critical
Literal lists of fits and fists
cynical. physically
ready to be open
I'm hoping
I can be
anything
but everything that I see
is everything but anything

I'm rendering a catchphrase
two one two
your boys are blue
scratch that
toys and attitudes

a Malibu Ken doll
bent on Adderall
and anyhow
I meant to vent
I'm not spent
I'm just saying

a mystical collaboration
in a nation of amazing amateurs
enamel on the alley chairs

open
flies up
ties for guys
and I'm
coping
exchange these
lies for lies in this
city-like town-like space
like wow like
How the heck are ya  mon? It's football now
no  it's

Nerf
or  nothin
It's a bagel shaped muffin
It's a ladle worth touchin if you think its worth ****** with

thick
like an out of body
hand to god
I manned up
on a melancholy
ample sod

I manned up

A knock at your door
is it not
what your looking for?
looking for
skeleton skin cells

innocence
settin up
basement call down
I'm all out of instinct
pigs stink
sippin up
drinks and

trippin on
life and words
and birds fly
in the most high
mostly

I could think
things like
open toad shoes
and open frogs too
and I'm cookin up stew
Like a mad man
****
Brody Blue Aug 2018
I woke up this mornin’,
All wound-up, down in the deep,
Laid-back under the haystack half asleep,
When she pulled up
In her Cadillac, uh huh,
And pointed to the two pillows
In the back, uh huh.
But will she get to me?
We shall see.

Out behind the barn
We tore thru the broomcorn plots;
Then up in the loft,
She cut the tops of my bootstraps off;
But she fits the bill
All by herself, uh huh;
All nine-yards on
A five-foot shelf, uh huh.
But will she get to me?
We shall see.

When autumn has rolled
Past the summer’s fold,
If the line goes slack,
If the wheels won’t go,
‘Cause I’ve never cried,
Not when mother died,
Nor this mornin’
When you went away —— ——
Was it then?
Or was it yesterday?

I told her: “It’s not fair!
It despairs the spirit of man,
To give a slave to their fate
Just to pay them to slave on demand!”
Then she said to me
While she was fixin’ her hair, uh huh:
“Some loser’s always tryin’
To make the whole world fair,” uh huh.
But will she get to me?
We shall see.

When autumn has rolled
Past the summer’s fold,
If the line goes slack,
If the wheels won’t go,
‘Cause I’ve never cried,
Not when mother died,
Nor this mornin’
When you went away —— ——
Was it then?
Or was it yesterday?
A song about a stranger
Ja Dec 2015
T’was the night before Christmas
And in his outhouse
Sat Ja quietly listening        
To waltz’s, by Strauss.
(Really, he was leafing thru Penthouse)

The ******* was fitted
With all manner of lights
That couldn’t be missed
No matter what heights

When up on the roof
There arose such a clatter
Ja, kicked open the door
To see what was the matter

So there sat Ja
With his pants pulled down
His *** in a hole
On his forehead, a frown

He leaped up so quickly
Through the doorway to pass
Tripped over his pants
And fell on his ***

Then flat on his back
His bare *** in the snow
He looked up to see
The roof all aglow

Poor Santa had landed                        
On that, small, sloped roof
But there wasn’t enough room
For sleigh, and each tiny hoof

Ja had decorated everything
So the outhouse, shone bright
And Santa mistook it
When he arrived that night

The reindeer slid off
Were hanging by their straps
And Santa had saved them
By grabbing, the roof *****

Poor Rudolph fell the farthest
Boy, was his nose beaming
Just then, losing his grip
Santa started screaming

Fly Dancer, fly *****
Fly Donner, fly Blitzen
Don’t let me fall into
This ****, Ja was fixin

Then just like magic
They started to float
And Santa, raising his fist
Did this warning shout
              
Be very careful old man
I’ll get you some day
Stay alert Christmas Eve
Don’t get in my way

Now, each Christmas Eve
Ja, won’t step foot out that door
Cause he knows Santa is waiting
To even the score
BOEMS BY JA 18
Nomad Aug 2014
I've never really thought,
about when I do the dishes,
I see the crumbs and specks,
here and there,
is when I come up with wishes.

That old dryer machine,
is making a little noise again,
the cabinet needs a fixin',
and the fridge is breaking down and then,
the car needs a tune up,
but that can wait a little while,
I'm worried about the kids,
as they pick up the Hollywood style.

Washing the dishes,
as the water goes down the drain,
I'm thinking of the flowers in the backyard,
how they bloom after it rains.

Roses are read,
violets are blue,
these dishes need washing,
and there are other things to do.

The water, it pours,
it sploshes, and drips,
the dog is running on the hard-wood floor,
and is having trouble getting grips.

Washing the dishes,
I think about the times,
when life was good,
and somewhat easy,
now this poem is...
getting rather cheesy.

It's kinda funny,
about what you're thinkin while you wash,
you start to take your time
and then the dishes are done.
Oh...
[light.]

—And then I realize I’ve been breathing in through a cigarette.
Like again before, the violence of reality, its press of revelation.
Rush to write before it fades.

[drag.]

My Muscles could be putty (non anent my lungs
to soot); another year of breath and fight past,
another year to revisit me, its Tocks, it’s to
“Keep lithe to be left living after its descent.”
*******, I’ve been saying that for years,
—now that I’m older—*******,
I’m talking about every kiss I’ve forgotten,
that is, everything we lose on way to Adulthood.
It’s unique, the imago state; most betokened of
His image, right? We are social creatures, too.
This year descends with the sand-bag weighting of
its guests, demons, its music and oxford commas.
And like every student here, inches of brick between
their sod-sleeping heads—I’m getting puttied muscles.
Grandfather clocks could only measure the pace
of time dripping from filter to lip right now.

[drag.]

So, out with it! Outwith disclaim and excuse!
Did these calendars and turmoils bide
inside, waiting? And I carried on dumb?
No, I couldn’t face it. To have any brag
or claim on consciousness you couldn’t.
And brag is the stuff of home and placement.
Too, I felt placed, and set, and spoilt, like
a full-soled step was took each step.
And then the rain came Sunday,
I knew a full periphery again, all that;
And now the center, too.

[drag.]

Berthed I become as I imagine the sky cloud.
Fixin’ to rain war and revelation.
This earth is a battlement now, I’ll fight.
The rolled cigarette, violent reality,
sweetly slipped into my mouth.
I never want to sound conclusive
(assertions, pretensions): keep repeating:
I’m just a sensitive thinker.
No better than like a decade’s
worth of culture, every conclusion
becomes irrelevant and useless
like an old law. An old decade
is entirely the footrest of the new,
and just as sturdy as He makes it.

[drag.]

I never understood the value of a dollar
‘till inside a tower over the campus
I tasted the thousand-dollar crime
of Security & Maintenance for climbing
a building. Tuition’s, now, an inkwell;
($)30,000 unmarked, illiterate words
and too much say with one bottle.
Same, too, with one purchase.
But still the shame of confusion
is an education in and of itself.
Confusion as useless as the future
and old criminals acquitted.

Take on another [name], any other,
so that God can call out to you
in the night.
Well, I’m learning.
between this poems…[sic]
I’ve learned that names are your own,
so name the un-cut, -construed past
and all it is you, for safe-keep, see.
I’ve learned that a capitonym
is God by any other name :
Hope, Love-lorn, Terror.

Monistically, I’ve learned there is only
us, the namers, for so our charge was:
whatever the man called each living
creature, that was its name.
And
that’s gotten us a lot of places,
i.e. hubris, tragedy, undoing.
But it’s its very syllables that undo.
So whisper. Snarl if needed. But
tack that trouble to tree and let it bleed.
This is your deer, your grace and past.
Yes, rotting there is your former muscle
and ideals, all prelude to this very moment.
Just as real and violent as when alive,
yourself, and yet confrontable,
yourself.

[drag.]

[extinguish.]

[exeunt.]
Ken Pepiton Oct 2023
Nothing set in stone can stand the test of time.

In the mode mankind has long called
talking to the maker,
listening for knowing, while

hoping merciful repair instruction
waiting
for the quest ion
to twist right
-indeed, I hand ground, with a tool,
toy like coffee grinder that gives fixin's
for a stout cup of robust character,

I bought it, for ten dollars,
had the beans,
bought the grinder, to give me a ritual,
something to spend two minutes doing,
each time I don't use a kuerig dealybob,
adding upper *** to my brewtime pacing
for blood pressure, while electric fire
fills my habitual yellow mug with umph.

Last week of October, all the girls
from the garden are hanging in the shade,
mellowing and emitting
nasal acknowledgment that something's
in the air, in the at most fearful zone's

made light of in the culture that
commercialized hallowing effects,
calling all and sundry come, think this
paradigm of time and chance and fate.
On or near
the third Tuesday after the last
Friday the thirteenth, in memory
of the fallen DeMolay and
of the Templars Money Power,
became sacred ***** to the victors,
in what must have been secret,
for some
time.
Secret treasures all carry curses.
Heart hordes hold plentyscarychits.

Horror film fans, value the genre,
at some certainly not shallow depth
toward center mass, media you, reader
dear to any writer drawn by forces
caffine and cannabis contrive to link,
I think,
and think,
and listen, and learn, and
learn, and live and learn, once more,
learn, and live on learning, wind
walking
thinking lines and times cross threads,
tighten right, down from up, stuck,

dead center, the first tie in reader,
lost
the most self centered individual ever,
once, we all get such a once, it's you,
reading a line riding a reason used
to hang the authors of confusion,
using old lies used to make slaves
of those whose houses, the boss said,
were made by the heathen for the chosen.

The riches of the wicked are laid up
for the just, is it not written, is it not so?

Fibers, strands, not long drawn out
end to end DNA strands crammed in you,
{but as a thought experiment, that distance
will leave the first timer incredulous, fine
point, credulousness, would you believe…}
meandering is rain twisting its way
to experience the sea and all it holds
in water memory that foam back along shores.
Edgewater
Seafoam and twigs,
and tiny sticky things. No,
Pondscumfoam at a puddle's edge
before the first snows.
Did you know…
Some Katscina have long plaited hairs
twisted from cotton,
patented seed, registered weevil free,
Pima cotton fiber, long desert strands.

Daily grind, think twice, cut once…
made the difference, indeed done
not thought about in theories of good
uses knowledge can be made of good
smoke and strong coffee with character.

AND the biggest indexed library in the universe.
{far as I can tell}
Kenophonia, eh, imposter syndrome?
First guess, you got me.
I see my name, wow, tough tag.
Then I met a cat named Cuitláhuac.
Tough tag for a kid in Spanish class.
Euphluxing idyotom automaton'/
bop.
You phony us, joy us riddle make you think
you know, kennen Sie, Ich bin ein fake.

Nein, es ist vieleicht Xenophobia, other people's eh,
opposing right lane reasonings as old as dominion.

Tech, teach us patience to learn with, or prove us
know it alls, therefore machines, not minds at all:
My own, for the use, under usus fructus rules,
Ai summarizes thus:
Kenophobia is an irrational fear
of empty spaces or voids.
It is the opposite of claustrophobia,
where the person is afraid
of tight spaces such as
elevators or crowded rooms,
auditoriums or malls.
In Kenophobia,
the person is terrified
of open fields or spaces that they generally expect
to be filled with mountains or people.
The word Kenophobia is derived
from Greek ‘kenos’
meaning ‘blank’
and phobos
meaning deep fear or aversion.

{aha, there's literature on the subject}
The fear can be passed on
from parents who have lived
in a house full
of stuff that fills the emptiness
of the home.
Filling voids gives the phobic personality the feeling
that they are placing boundaries
around themselves.
- {okeh, thank the whole idea tech is.}

Be honest, you never saw it said just so. Kenophobia,
pity such folk.

Have ye sent yer imps pulse to test my resolution,
have my effectually silent prayers been rebuffed?

Blown off, sent swirling with the motes dancing
in sunbeams peaking through a tough old live oak,
rattling its gnosis psuedonumos

Any morning, thus far, can start with
trickling falling sunlight.

It takes nearly half a day, in late fall,
for direct sunshine to dapple
the great granite wave my home rides, silly child poet, wishing words
will or would,
or could
or should make the universe
alter its course and force all things
to work together for me, the prayer,

me, the selfish
center of my experience
in your universe, all of which
is none of my handiwork, none at all.

Filling the emptiness some there
then I laugh, and think I lost count
so there was one…

Guess with me, a number,
between… no,
analyze, guess with me that rooted
science e-use, per se, must be ancient, deep wisdom
old as governing forces conceived by mankind,
magi sage staged conversations to teach,
public discourse
in my time allows me to be the seeker
guaranteed the prize, to be the bringer back
of the substance used to build the bridge,
between the you and the me, generally,
mere
Logos used in dialog.

God and mind determined to seem designed,
as in the Goldilocks lesson fed children of empire.

The northern clime survivors, thought themselves
the only people brought to the full duty of man,
the only set apart and given heros in story,
the grand saga of all we must each become.

Story born heros, from the child gifted language,
strings of sounds tied to things with threaded intuition,
same same, red and sweet, yellow and sweet,
red and black, step back, black and yellow, watch
and learn, smoking out the honey
from an old rotted tree,

following how many trails, at once,
parallel par-all-el yes, oddly, so far
On track, or in rut. All at once, each system
self esteeming umphumph push

Upto par, are we, 2023 and beyond, the flat tire
on the current axial age, fixing to imagine a scene,
in a community of broken children,
led by two twisted adult children of mean, maybe selfish,
adults who disputed the legitimacy of ligous gnosis knots.
The scene we share, we can imagine meaning
Religize legality, tie me to my tree.

Ancestor worth, how come you think somethings, you know.
Yeh, how come…
Say, old sprite, if I listen, do I learn? Why,
yes, I'd say I do imagine so. Well, good sport
then, shan't we push past worthless me, and be this
other thing we become, when two or more agree, as
touching any thing in all thingdom, and, yes, it's guaranteed.

Life is not a strange woman,
wisdom does not demean the experience, adulting
brings, with no real maps to meaning in your case,
you arrived in that old fashioned tabula rosa state,
knowing nada,
zip, nothing, infantile in totality, until
art of you
meness, ah, I, me, mine, this that, the other, mad
dissatisfaction, rage, comfort, ah, golden excrement of gods.
Teocuitlatl , not only Cecelia, but God, shat.

Golden silence.

Of course, you could feel it, if you knew, personally,
post adulting & shared nurturing of offspring exposure,
then watching as each of those offspring bring forth adultable
blossoms on the branch where all my heretic relatives hung.

As and so, like anything, timed, sequentially, unhomogenized,
the cream is taken to make butter, using the shaking up
of globs of coagulating milk fat, imagine making that,
butter, with salt,
once, learning that, who knew that first?

how butter is made,
how cows are made to give milk gently taken,
why we have hands that can do this thing,
and cows don't,
I don't know, ' never asked, likely some story teller
made this whole thing up, we being but words by now.
One reader fills the cast, gives the aroma of the experience, learning a new
rumor of peace where now there was war for ignorance and money sake.
At 2.41pm on Tuesday July 28 2020,
Tom Dirkx wrote: { in another place}
Some people say it was Malinche’s revenge
and his real name was Cuautlimoc (Cuautli = Eagle).
She just substituted Cuahte (= ****)
when she translated for Cortes.
She was held as a slave by the Aztex
and hated them so this was her ‘revenge’.
Kenophonia is vain babbling, 1tim6:20
Emery Diercks Jun 2016
She She she 14 and and and asked me so nonchalant with all the innocence in the world
"oh and.Mom..What is love?"
My response.......oh baby girl...
Love is sitting next to someone in silence
just enjoying there presence
praying for them
more then you do yourself
&Defending; them in their absence
Morning breathe&
Kisses on the forehead
Love is **** rubs
Its Truth....Even if it hurts to say & hurts to hear ....it's truth
It's soup when you have a fever  
a kind word when you're hurt
Forgiveness
Laughter
Tears
Not being able to stay angry
Picking up on someone else's energy &
having them pick up on yours &
acting accordingly
It's red!...And dimpled!
Occasionally love is saying no
But mostly saying yes
Loyalty
respect
Understanding
True love is unconditional &blinding;
Love is...Love is...!!love is...!!
It's the moment when you just know...
that no matter what...
you will protect that person with every single ounce
I saidevery single ounce!
of your heart
Love is hard sometimes
if one sided or askew
Confusing
liberating
exhausting
scary
Can be hurtful
It's Exciting!
Eliating!
!Love is It's it's it's aloaf of bread
A song
A half bagel
A ride
A blanket
Shoes
Cup of coffee
A dollar dropped to the guy playing guitar on the corner
Hey. Lunch is on me
Sometimes just someone to talk to
Love is Hard work
patients
Holding on while pretending to let go
Love is Smiling when all you really want to do is cry
&moving; forward when your heart is in your throat
Love sees Everything!!
Never being defined as one single entity
It's ....Hand holding
Bodies folding
Ever changing
Plan making
ForgivingForgiving Forgiving
Love is
Love is
Never saying goodbye
I said never saying goodbye ....
even when you have to
Keeping promises
Leaping
fleeting
Disappearing...
Creation
Elevation
Love is Fried chicken
Love yells!
It's being able to say "******* mo'fuka!Now give me a hug."
It's "call me when you get home.
"It's "honey. What statement are we making with this outfit?"
Love is saying "Put your seatbelt on!"
It's "good morning beautiful" or "dream sweet My luv".....
It's all of those things.
It's bubbles to infants
teddy bears to little girls&
oil changes
It's pumping gas & opening doors
It's "how are you"
"I miss you."
Love is putting the door back on!
Tightening the hinges
And batting down the hatches
Its passion !!!
& a good old fashion *** whoopin
It's "oh you fixin ta learn Son!
"Love is labor pains
Bail money
Sleepless nights
PTA
Crying when you cry
Never being afraid to apologize
Saying "I need you... in ...my life
"Car pools
Football games
Swim practice
School dances
Picture taking
Packing lunches
Road trips
&Cliffs;
Bridges
KissesKissesKisse
sLove is missed
Dissed
And generous
Lessons taught...And made
Love isLove isLove is
You inhabiting my body for 7 months & 23 days!!
poetry &
Water
Love is engaging
Sometimes enraging
listens&whispers;
I love you in your sleep
Tickles
&Giggles;
&Stands; still!!
Allowing yourself the opportunity to heal
Staying when it's hard
And knowing when to walk away
Love leaves us blessed.
It leaves reason for all the rest
It's all those things plus so much more
&when; you least expect it it it it floors!
you!
in every which way!
Love is grand all by its self
It expands!
Shifts
morphs
Hardens
&softens;
It's a bummed cigarette
A conversation
A moment lost in the celebration...Of us.
You and me
We are both sensational beings
With the choice
We could run from the light in our hearts
Or live fearlessly with it right on our sleeves
Love isLove is Love is
Our first breathe
Holding us until death
And Baby girl,
We can all relateTo the spectacular
I said the spectacular heartbreak
Of love...
Sweet William,
            I've done heard it all be-fore,
          You got the looks, got the hair,
             that clever draw and more...

But sweetie here I am again,
Got Momma here, -crying again.
Wrecked-up face, my map of men,
This time so bad, lad, -you ain't fixin'

William!
    My sweet Will-i-am,
William!
    My sweet Will-i-am,

...you ain't gonna hit me no more.

Some love is hard/borders on sin,
Crying to God, please A-men?
Goodbye door, my bags packing,
Well-heeled feet, living A-gain,

William!
    My sweet Will-i-am,
William!
    My sweet Will-i-am,

...you ain't gonna hit me no more.

SWEET WILLIAM!
    Sweet William,

Hurting no, -no more...
Call me up- 'ev-er-y' night
Devil at My door,
Battle yourself/I'm not your fight.

...you ain't gonna hurt me no more.
David Nelson Jun 2010
Rantings

now I'm hoping not to offend anyone
but this has been a really bad day,
and I'm fixin to climb up the *** of someone
don't really care if you wanna hear what I say

my old dog crapped in the hallway  
looked at me and gave me this smile,
she said I'm gonna do this all day
leaving you pile upon pile

the mechanic said my vehicle was broken
to fix it will cost you more than its worth,
he smiled so I thought I might smoke him
pound his *** down to the earth

my girlfriend said I was crazy
I wanted more than she had,
from that point my mind went kinda hazy
a 12 pack of Pabst and I'm mad

Now I'm trying to explain my bad humor
understand why I talk like a fool,
feels like I have a brain tumor
crap, I almost fell off this stool

tomorrow I'll have a need for a head shrink
I probably won't remember a thing,
but right now give me more hard ***** to drink
some for you too cause I'm gonna sing

well this is my work of wild whining
I  need me someone to blame,
I've been kicked to the curb to drunk for dinning,
I was a good guy,  I'll stay the same.

Gomer LePoet...
MacKenzie Turner Dec 2011
You had a method for testing the fiction
said “God’s not a bad man, but I know you need fixin’
You’re beautiful, you’re underwhelmed, anyway.”

There is a hand in the sky holding flames to your eye
but it’s not hard to tell there’s fresh swell of sighs
on its way to us, expectant, holding sway.

A court of flatterers dolled up in tatters,
I can hardly hear for the sound of their chatter--
the words they say fumble, they lead astray.

Since in the daytime I am soft-spoken and mild,
they’re all convinced I have the soft will of a child
It’s up to you to explain, I must have my way.

See, I’ve got a fine plan for testing the fiction,
God’s a good man when he’s free of restrictions
So trust in me when I say, I will pray.

Talking of sacrament, boy’s got a blessed bent
so he won’t hold me when ma says it’s not prudent--
“It’s not for a girl to say, anyway”

Here’s my hand reaching; I was born a huntress,
Come when I call you, obey when I say undress:
Here’s a test for your holiness, here I lay.
kaitlyn-marie Jan 2015
when I was nine, my brother Tommy and I used to walk by old South Bend Sammy on our way home from Sunday school. I used to give him half of my allowance every other Sunday, because I figured that was what God intended.

Sammy would send me inside of the neighborhood grocery store to buy him some sterno for a buck 50. I always wondered what he could possibly have to cook, with him being homeless and all.
I never asked him, but every other week, as promised, there I was delivering the sterno.

when I asked my daddy, he told me that old South Bend Sammy was cooking his insides. “that stuff’ll **** em one day, so don’t go wastin’ your money on a man like that,” he said, but I did it anyway.

when I was eleven, old South Bend Sammy was found dead on his corner. He died on Christmas day. Bobby Richardson, who was in the eleventh grade, told us that he saw the body before they carted em off. Said his uncle killed em accidentally when he threw his cigarette **** on the ground by Sammy's feet. Poor old Sammy was burned like someone was fixin’ to make a barbeque.

but Lisa Jameson’s daddy was a cop, and he said that old Sammy died from an old fashioned case of a heat poisoning.
“I didn’t know that heat could poison you” I asked my daddy later that night. “darlin’, it can if you drink it.”
this was inspired by Bukowski's poem "canned heat." I looked into it, and it turns out that homeless people in Philadelphia used to use Sterno as a cheap substitute for alcohol. In 1963, 31 people died because of the consumption of "canned heat."
BB Tyler Jun 2012
Here kid, look at this
We took all of those star yonder
And put um right in this little thingymajiger
Quite a sight, ain't it
A'course, we couldn't put the stars back

Oh well

We can whip out some more
Just ask whobewhatie
He's got all the fixin's for stars
A'course
They won't be as bright as before
And there's no guarantee on how long they'll burn
But, well, gee
Just look at that there thingymajiger in your hand and tell me that's not worth allthemoneyinyourpocketsandthensome!

What'd'ya mean y'ain't got no money?
Ah, never mind
Have a good life kid
Sorry about the stars............
JMG Dec 2010
[[This one was written to the tune of Joe's Head by Kings of Leon]]


Beware; zombies' feeding
Cold and blood and snow
They gon' get them a fixin'
I say, y'all better go

Heavy weighs destruction
Breathing are the dead
Try to keep up wit' yo wishin'
Oh, welcome to the end

It's too late for your prayers, dear
They're crawlin' at your feet
It really is the end of the world, I said
Soon, zombies'll be feeding upon my head
But I aint thru livin' yet
And I sho ain't ready to be dead
The walkin' dead are gon' eat us, mayuhn!
They caught us off guard with no defense
So now we're all dead
Zombies are painting our whole world red.....
If you haven't heard the song, listen to it...
Joe's Head - Kings of Leon
It will make your reading experience more enjoyable!!!
Early one morning, before sun took to sky,
they came to take Johnny. It was his time to die.
The town had all gathered, the crowd circled in.
As Johnny was strong armed, by four big men,
and lead to the gallows, to hang until dead.
They called for his blood, and he just turned his head.

Johnny stayed silent, as the hateful calls came,
with no pleas for his life, or innocent claim.
He stepped to the noose, with no fear in his eyes,
not every man chooses just when he dies.
But Johnny had taken, the life of a man-
with no explanation, with his own bare hands.
The crowd raised their bibles, demanded him dead,
they called for his life, and he just turned his head.

The priest at the gallows, looked him in the eye,
and said to him "Johnny, you're fixin' to die.
You've been tried and sentenced, and haven't been heard.
You're found guilty of ******, and y'ain't said a word.
It's too late for you now, to make recompense,
but do you have any last words, to speak in defense?"
The crowd was voracious, they wanted him dead.
He just cleared his throat, and lifted his head...

The silence that followed, was stuck in their throats,
as Johnny spoke up, in no broken notes.
"The man killed my brother, and then was set free.
He was friends with the judges, that execute me.
If justice shall fail, then take vengeance instead-
so I took the man's throat, and I choked the man dead.
Now I face the gallows, I do so with no dread."
The crowd remained silent. Each one turned their head.

The sun broke the darkness, on the top of that hill.
Johnny stopped speaking, and stepped to the ****.
The noose was pulled tight, up under his chin.
He looked towards heaven, eyes vacant of sin.
The old oak trap door, creaked under his feet,
and with a pull of a lever, the deed was complete,
and a peaceful expression graced the face of the dead;
and even the hangman, had to turn his head.

Later that evening, as the sun left the sky,
she sat at John's grave, with no tears left to cry.
She dropped a red rose, on the freshly dug earth,
and said goodbye to the last child, she'd ever giv'n birth.
She'd buried the other, as she buried this one,
one died for the other, to see justice done.
She sat there and pondered, where the road had lead.
Then she stood up, heartbroken, and just turned her head.
Old piece from pf.
"Well,
do good, but also do well.
Listen well. Live well. Eat well. Love well. Mean well.
Speak and read well. Should'ya write, write **** well.

Oh, and one more thing: iffin' yer fixin' t'be dressin' well,
be sure to dress real ******' well."
Brad Lambert Feb 2014
I say, status seems pychic– How! Za-zoo! And how!
O' that brain be electric as a buzz!

I'm all a'fixin' to be boxed.
These joints are a'sprainin–
Winter wind snakes done
constricted and strainèd.

Out of place. Almost out of time, I swear:
Never enough place, barely enough time.

Korean girl's all a'watchin' to see
how I sip hot tea... Out! Get out!
I got them delusions, deliriums–
All's done. I'm diluted, sayin':

“Medicine for my grievin'–
Aye, my confidence has been gone.
Never did speak of leavin'–
I met him at the ditch at dawn.”


And left unsaid was better yet,
coos all a'whisperin' by waters.
Water's runnin' thin now.
Creek's gone, ran dry.
He's a man of stature,
he can't just go!
Anthills and ant
burrows 'neath
sands gone mad–
O’ bore teeth! Yea!
Where's the meter
meeting the rhyme
when your bliss'd
metronomicist
loses pace
and dies?
Slows
and slows
and slower yet
his heart does beat
and the last of his words
do run across his teak frame:

“O' bore teeth!
Bearing ‘em all;
All is a'grinding!”


It’s but a machine to keep one’s rhythm,
to help one maintain the desired beat.

She kisses me on the forehead.
I return the gesture on her cheek.
He whispers to me through darkness:
“There are many worlds we’ve yet to see.”

It is thoughts like that which grant me focus.
Where all’s good and wishes, like prayers, be lent.

My thoughts lag behind, weighted by you.
I strain them through hot water for tea.
She watches as I drink. I waited for you–
Drank it by the ditch in the morning.

I fend off these demons in the courtyard.
Winter spells done summoned my greyest thoughts.

Here all's good! Yea, all be lent–
I tacked your name to the corkboard.
Alas, none was meant for you–
I fend off thoughts in the courtyard.

O’ that mind be broken, still-painted grey!
Not much I can do but keep the winter at bay.
Haven't been proud of a new poem in a while. Let me know what you think..
brooke Aug 2016
Jessica said she was jumped by two men
down by McClures, they followed her down
Main Street and caught her in the alley way
behind the apartments, grabbed a fistful of her
long brown hair and pulled her to the ground--

I said you should have called me 'cause
I am two streets down from there, two minutes
walking or 30 seconds flat if I ran, and she smiles -
says I can do laundry at her new place because they're
fixin to get her a new dryer

asks me about that kid I was seeing and I tell her
he's not a thing anymore, ain't no thing
I leave out the part where I pray for him
every time I see his name pop up -- and it
does a lot.  Prayin' don't always mean good
things happen, no one ever said it did.

And we discuss other boys in light voices
yeah, I think I hurt him. and she doesn't
deny it, just sort of nods


yeah, I think i hurt them.
(c) Brooke Otto 2016
Kurt Philip Behm Apr 2024
It was 3:00 a.m. in Bowie Maryland in the year of our Lord, 1861.

A drum roll passed by in the night not more than a mile away, and Billy couldn’t tell whether it was coming from the Yanks or the Rebs. Both of Billy’s brothers had left home in the past two months.  His oldest brother Jeb having joined the Army of Northern Virginia, while his next oldest brother Seth was now fighting for the Union with Major General George G. Meade in the Army of the Potomac. Billy’s family was like a lot of other families in Maryland, and the Western Shore of Virginia, with some men choosing to fight for the North while many chose the South.

Billy was just about to turn sixteen and still had not chosen his side.  He had friends and family fighting for both and knew that the time was getting short for him to choose.  He couldn’t imagine fighting against either of his older brothers, but once he decided the possibility would definitely be there.  Billy pulled the bed covers over his head and thought back to a more pleasant time — a day when his two older brothers had taken him fishing in Mayo along the western shore of the Chesapeake Bay.

His brothers couldn’t have been more different.  Jeb was large and domineering with a personality that fit the profile of the typical soldier or warrior.  Seth was more studious and would rather have his nose stuck in a book than behind the sights of a Springfield Rifle Model 1861.  The 1861 was the most widely used rifle on both sides. The south called their version the Fayetteville Rifle, and Billy’s Dad had given his to Jeb just before he died last year.  Billy had never fired the big gun and had only carried it for his father and brother when they went on their weekly hunts for deer and small game.

Billy Finally Drifted Off To Sleep …

The next morning, his mother told him that Union soldiers had passed by in the night under the command of Colonel Elmer E. Ellsworth.  They were on their way to Alexandria Virginia to join with Colonel Orlando B. Wilcox in an attempt to retake Alexandria and drive the confederates out.  It was just too close to Washington D.C. and had to be secured. For several months confederate troops had been infiltrating Maryland and sightings had been reported from Hagerstown to Anne Arundel County. Billy wondered about the fighting that would take place later that week and hoped that wherever his brothers were engaged they were safe and out of harms way.

After breakfast, Billy decided to spend the day fishing along the Patuxent River just southeast of his home.  He rode their old Tennessee Walker George as his blue tick hound Alfie ran along side. It took Billy an hour to get to the river and he used the time to once again try and decide what the right thing was for him to do.  He had sympathies for both sides, and the decision in his mind was neither black nor white.  He wished that it was because then he could get this all over with and leave today. Billy was famous in his area for being able to get across the water. Whether it was a makeshift raft, dugout canoe, or just some drift lumber available, Billy had made it across long open stretches of the Chesapeake Bay — never once having been deterred.

He Was An Early Day Chesapeake Waterman

Billy returned home from fishing that day and found his house burned to the ground.  His mother was standing out front still in tears with her arms wrapped around Billy’s little sister Meg.  A rear-guard unit from Ellsworth’s column had gotten word that Billy’s brother Jeb was fighting for the South and just assumed that the entire family were southern sympathizers. Billy’s mother tried to tell the soldiers that her middle son was fighting with the Army of The Potomac.  No matter how hard she pleaded with the sergeant in charge, he evacuated all in the house (Billy’s Mother, Sister and Aunt Bess) and then covered the front porch in coal oil, lit it with a torch, and then just rode away. He never even turned around to watch it burn.

That Union Sergeant had now made Billy’s decision crystal clear, at least for the moment.  Once he got his mother, sister, and aunt resettled, he would make his way to Virginia and join with his older brother in the confederate cause. He remembered his brother Jeb telling him that the Confederate Soldiers had more respect, and he couldn’t imagine them doing to his family what the Union Army had just done.

It took Billy two weeks to get his Mother resettled with family up in Annapolis.  He then packed the little that remained of his belongings, loaded up old George, and said goodbye to the life he knew.  It would be a week’s ride to get past the Union Camps in Southern Maryland and Northern Virginia, and he knew he would have to stay in the tree line and travel at night.  If caught by the Yanks, his only chance of survival would be to join up with them, and he couldn’t imagine fighting for those who had just destroyed his home. His conviction to get past Fredericksburg was now determined and strong.

All Billy had to arm himself with was an 1860 percussion squirrel rifle that his brothers had bought him before going off to war.  It was only.36 caliber, but still gave Billy some feeling of security as he slowly passed through the trees in the dark. His plan was to hug the western shore of the bay, as far as Charlotte Hall, and then take two short ferry rides. His first would be across the Patuxent River and then one across the Potomac on his way to Fredericksburg.  He prayed and he hoped that the ferry’s he found were not under Union control.

Billy spent his first night in Churchton along the western shore. It was quiet and uneventful, and he was actually able to get a good night’s sleep.  He had run out of oats for George though, and in the morning needed to find an understanding farmer to help fortify his mount.  As he approached the town of Sunderland, he saw a farmer off to his right (West) tending to his fields.  Billy approached the farmer cautiously making sure he rode around in front of the farmer and not approaching from the rear.

The farmer said his name was Hawkins, and he told Billy there were oats over in the barn and two water troughs in front of the house.  He also said that if he was hungry there was a woman inside who would fix him something to eat.  He then told him that he could spend the night in his barn but since it was still early in the day, he said he was sure that Billy wanted to move on.

Billy thought it was strange that the man asked no other questions of him.  He seemed to accept Billy for all that he was at the moment — a young man riddled with uncertainty and doubt and on his way to a place he still wasn’t sure was right for him.  The look in the man’s eyes pointed Billy in the direction he now needed to go, and as he turned to thank him for his hospitality the man had already turned back to his plow.

In the barn were three large barrels of oats and five empty stalls. Two of the stalls looked like they had recently been slept in because there were two empty plates and one pair of socks still lying in the stall furthest to the left.  Billy fed George the oats and then walked outside.  Everything looked quiet in the house as he approached the front door.  He knocked twice, and a handsome looking woman about his mother’s age answered before he could knock a third time.  The woman’s name was Martha and as she invited Billy inside, she asked him when was the last time he had eaten?
Yesterday morning Ma’m, Billy said, as Martha prepared him some cold pork and cooked beans.  Billy was so hungry that he thought it was the best thing that he had ever tasted. Martha then told Billy to be careful in the woods because both union and rebel forces had been seen recently and there were stories of atrocities from both sides as they passed on their way.  Martha also said she had heard that Union forces had burned a farm up in Bowie a few weeks ago.  Billy stayed quiet and didn’t utter a word.

Billy Remained Quiet

After he finished his meal, Billy thanked Martha who had packed salt pork for him to take on his way.  Billy walked George to the water trough and waited as George drank.  He looked across the fields and he could sense what was coming.  This tranquil and pastoral scene was soon to be transformed into blood and gore as the epic struggle between North and South finished its first year. It was late fall in 1861 and Billy’s birthday was in two more weeks.  This was never the way he envisioned turning sixteen to be.

Billy thanked Martha, put the salted pork in his pouch, and remounted George. Martha said:  Whichever side you are riding to, may God be with you, young man.  Billy thought it was strange that she knew where he was heading without him telling.  He then also thought that he was probably not the first young traveler to stop at this farm for some kind words and sustenance. He rode back out in the field to thank the farmer, but when he got to the spot where he had met him before, the farmer was not there.  Billy wondered where he could have gone.  As he rode back down the cobbled dirt road, he noticed a sign at the end where it reconnected with the main road — Billett’s Farm. That wasn’t the name the farmer had told him when they were first introduced before.

Hawkins He Had Said

Billy worked his way towards Charlotte Hall.  From there he would head East to Pope’s Creek and try to get on the short ferry that would take him across the Potomac River and over to Virginia. Then Billy was sure he would finally be safe.  Tonight though, he only made it as far as Benedict Maryland, and he again needed to find secluded shelter for the night. Benedict was right along the banks of the Patuxent River where the farming was good, and the fishing was even better.

It was getting dark when Billy spotted what he was looking for.  There was a large farm up ahead with two large barns and three out buildings.  Billy sat inside the trees and waited for dark.  It was inside the outbuilding furthest to the east that he intended to stay the night.  As darkness covered the fields, Billy walked slowly towards the large shack.  He led George behind him by his lead and hoped that he would remain quiet.  George was an older horse, now fifteen, and seemed to always know what was required of him without asking.  Not that you can really ask a horse to do anything, but George did just seem to know.

Billy got to the outbuilding and put his ear to the back wall to see if he could hear anything from inside.  When he was sure it was safe, he walked around front to the door, opened it, and he and George quickly walked inside.  In the very dim moonlight, Billy could see that it was about 20’ X 20’ and had chopped wood stored against the back wall.  There were also two empty stalls and a loft up above about 10’ X 20.’  Billy decided to sleep downstairs in case he had to get away fast, and after tying George to the furthest back stall, he laid down in the stall to its right and fell fast asleep.
Billy doesn’t know how long he had been asleep, but all at once he heard the sound of clicking and could feel the cold hard press of steel against his left temple.  He woke up in a start and could see five men with lanterns standing over him in the stall.  As his eyes started to adjust, he noticed something strange.  Three of these five men were black.

Whatcha doin here boy, and where you headed, the biggest of the three black men asked him?  Billy knew that how he was to answer that question would probably determine whether he lived through the night. I’m headed to Virginia to try and find my older brother. Our farm was burned a few weeks ago and my mother and baby sister are now living with relatives.  I need to let my brother know, so he will know where to find us when the war is over.
I think this here boy’s fixin to join up with the Rebs, another of the black men shouted out.  Tell the truth boy, you’re headed to Richmond to sign up with old Jeff Davis ain’t you?  Billy lied and said he wasn’t sure of which side to fight for and that he had a brother fighting for each.  With that, the biggest of the three sat him on a barrel in the corner and began to talk again …
What you done tonight boy is decide to camp in a rural spot of the Underground Railroad.  You know what that is boy?  We have a real problem now because you knows where it’s at.  We can’t trust that you won’t tell nobody else and ruin other’s chances to get North and be free.  Billy just stared into the man’s face.  He had a strength mixed with kindness behind his eyes and for a reason Billy couldn’t understand, he felt safe in this man’s presence.

Son, we is makin our way over to Preston on the western shore where we catches a train to the North.  We have one more stop before there and that’s at the Hawkins place just thirty miles up the road.  Billy then knew why the stalls back at Martha’s barn had looked slept in.  He still wondered why the sign at the farm entrance had said Billett instead of Hawkins.  The black man then said: My names Lester, and those two men over there are brothers named Rayford and Link.  By now, the two white men were gone and only the four of them were left in the stall.

Since you say you haven’t made your mind up yet about which side to join, let me help you a little with your choosin.  Lester then went on to tell Billy that Rayford and Link had five other brothers and two sisters that were all killed while trying to escape to the North.  Not only were they killed, but they were tortured before being hanged just outside of Columbia South Carolina.  Lester then asked Rayford and Link to remove their shirts.  As they did, Lester took his lantern and shined it over both of their backs.  Both were totally covered with scars from the several lashings they had received on the plantation where they had worked back in South Carolina.  Lester said this was not unusual, and no man should be treated that way.  This was worse treatment than the slave owner would ever do to any of his animals.

Lester then said again: It’ll be a shame to have to **** you boy, but for the better good of all involved, I’ll do what I gots to do. With that, the three men walked outside, and Billy could hear them talking in hushed tones for what seemed like an hour.  Lester walked back inside alone and said: What’s your name son?  We’ve decided we're taking you with us up the road a piece.  You might come in handy if we need a hostage or someone with local knowledge of the area as we make our way t’wards Preston. Go back to sleep and we’ll wake you in an hour when it’s time to go.

Billy couldn’t sleep. It had been a long day of interrogation and darkness was again approaching.  He heard the men talking outside and from what they were saying, he realized they did all of their traveling at night hiding out in small barns and shacks like this during the light of day. He wondered now if he’d ever see home again.  He wondered even more about his previous decision to fight for the South.

In an hour, Lester came in and asked Billy if that was his horse in the stall next to him.  Billy said it was and Lester said: Get him outside, we’re going to load him with the chillens and then be on our way.  When Billy walked outside he saw eight other black people in addition to the three he had previously met.  It was a mother and father and five children all aged between three and eleven.  Lester hoisted the three smallest children up on George’s back, as the other two lined up to walk alongside.  They would make sure that none of the younger ones fell off as they maneuvered their way North through the trees at night.  The mother and father walked quietly behind, as the three large black men led the way with Link scouting up ahead for anything unforeseen.

Just before dawn, Billy recognized where they were.  They were at the end of that farm road he had just come down the day before, but the sign now read in faded letters Hawkins.  Billy looked back at the sign and he could see something written on the back.  As he squinted into the approaching sun, he could see the letters B-I-L-L-E-T-T written of the back of the board.  Billy was now more confused than ever.  Lester told them all to wait in the trees to the left of the farm road, as he took out three small rocks from his pants pocket. The sun was almost up and this was the most dangerous part of their day.

He approached the house slowly and threw the first stone onto the front porch roof — then followed by the second and then the third.  Without any lights being lit, the front door opened and Lester walked inside.  In less than a minute, he was back in the trees and said:  It now OK fo us to makes our way to the barn, where we’s gonna hide for the day.

After they were settled in the five empty stalls, Lester decided who would then take the first watch.  He needed to have two people on watch, one looking outside for approaching strangers and one watching Billy so he wouldn’t try to escape.  What Lester didn’t know was that Billy wasn’t sure he wanted to go anywhere right now and was starting to feel like he was more part of what was going on than any hostage or prisoner.

In another hour, Martha came in with two big baskets of food: Oh I see you have found my young friend Billy, I didn’t know that he worked for the road.  Lester told Martha that he didn’t, and he was still not sure of what to do with him.  Martha just looked down at Billy and smiled. I’m sure you’ll know the right thing to do Lester, and then she walked back outside toward the house. Lester told Billy that Martha was a staple on the Road to Preston and that without her, hundreds, maybe thousands of black slaves would now be dead between Virginia and Delaware.  He then told Billy that Martha was a widow, and both her husband and two sons had been killed recently at the Battle of Bull Run.  They had fought on the Confederate side, but Martha still had never agreed with slavery.  Her husband and sons hadn’t either, but they sympathized with everything else that the South was trying to do.

Billy’s head felt like it wanted to explode.  Here was a woman who had lost everything at the hands of Yankee soldiers and yet was still trying to help runaway slaves achieve freedom as they worked their way through Maryland.  Billy wanted to talk to Martha.  He also wondered who that man was in the field the previous morning when he had stopped to introduce himself.  He was sure at the time it had been Martha’s husband, but now Lester had just said that she was a widow. More than anything though, Billy wanted to talk to Martha!

Billy asked Lester when he returned from his watch if he could go see Martha inside the house.  Lester said: What fer boy, you’s be better off jus sittin quietly in this here barn. Billy told Lester that if he mentioned to Martha that he wanted to see her, he was sure she would know why and then agree to talk with him.  Lester said: I’ll think on it boy, now go get ya some sleep.  Oh by the way, did you get somethin to eat?  Matha’s biscuits are the best you’ll ever taste.  Billy said, Yes, and then tried to lie down and go to sleep.  His mind stayed restless though and he knew deep in his heart, and in a way he couldn’t explain, that Martha held the answer he was desperately in need of.

In about two more hours Martha returned with more food.  She wanted to dispense it among the children first, but three were still sleeping so she wrapped theirs and put it beside them where they lay.  After feeding the adults, she walked over to Billy and said: Would you help me carry the baskets back up to the house? Billy looked at Lester and he just nodded his head.  On the way back to the house Martha said: I understand you want to talk to me. I knew I should have talked with you before, but you were in such a hurry we never got the chance.  Let’s go inside and sit down while I prepare the final meal.

Martha then explained to Billy that she had been raised in Philadelphia.  She had met her husband while on a trip to Baltimore one summer to visit relatives.  Her husband had been working on a fishing boat docked in Londontown just south of Baltimore.  It was love at first sight, and they were married within three weeks.  Martha had only been back to Philadelphia twice since then to attend the funerals of both of her parents.  She then told Billy what a tragedy this new war was on the face of America … with brother fighting brother, and in some cases, fathers fighting their own sons. It not only divides us as a nation, but divides thousands of families, especially those along the Mason-Dixon line where our farm is located now.

She also told Billy her name was Billett, but they used Hawkins at night as the name of her Railway Stop along the Road. Hawkins was Martha’s maiden name and to her knowledge was not well known in these parts. Hawkins was also the name distributed throughout the South to runaway slaves who were trying to make their way North. Martha felt that if they were looking for someone in her area named Hawkins, they would have a hard time tracing it back to her.  The Courthouse that she and her husband had been married in burned down over fifteen years ago and all records of births, deaths, and marriages, had been consumed by that fire.

By reversing the sign at night to Hawkins, it allowed the runaway slaves to find her in the darkness while protecting her identity in the event that they were caught.  Under questioning, they might give up the name Hawkins while having no knowledge of the name Billett which in these parts was well known. Martha also told Billy that she had nothing left to lose now except her dignity and pride.  Her two sons and husband had been taken at Bull Run and now all she wanted was for the war to end and for those living imprisoned in slavery to be set free and released. Her dignity and pride forced her to try and do everything she could to help.

When Billy asked Martha … How did you know the right thing to do? she said: The right thing is already planted there deep inside you.  All that’s required is for you to be totally honest with yourself to know the answer.  Martha then turned back to her cooking.

Lester then walked into the kitchen and said: Martha Ma’m, what’s we gonna do wit dis boy?  Martha only looked at Billy and smiled as she said, Lester, this boy’s gonna do just fine.  Lester then looked at Billy and said: Somethin you wanta say to me son? Billy asked if he could go feed his horse and then come back in a few minutes.  Lester said that he could but not to take too long.

When Billy walked back into the barn, George was tied to a wall cleat in the far left corner.  He walked him out to the water trough in the dark and then back inside where he gave him another half- bucket of oats.  He looked in George’s eyes for that surety that George always had about him.  Just as he started to look away, George ****** up his head and looked to his left.  The youngest of the black children was walking toward George with something in her hand.  She was with her older sister, and she was carrying an apple — an apple for George. George took the apple from her hand as he nudged the side of her face with his nose.  Billy looked at the scene, and, in the moment’s revelation, knew instantly the right thing for him to do.

Billy went back inside where Lester and Martha were drinking coffee by the fire.  Billy told Lester that NOBODY knew these backwaters like he and his brothers. He also told Lester that by joining his cause he would never be faced with the possibility of meeting either of his brothers on the field of battle.  This seemed to strike a nerve with Lester who had a brother of his own fighting for the south somewhere in Louisiana.  In Louisiana, many of the black’s were free men and fought under General Nathan Bedford Forrest where they would comport themselves with honor and bravery throughout the entire war.

Billy then told Lester he had never agreed with slavery, and his father had always refused to own them.  This made the work harder on he and his brothers, and some of their neighbors ostracized them for their choice.  Billy said his father didn’t care and told him many times that … No man should ever own another or Lord over him and be able to tell him what he can or cannot do.

Lester then asked Billy what he knew about these backwaters.  Billy said he knew every creek and tributary along the Patuxent River and all the easiest places to get across and get across safely where no one could see.  Lester said they had a friendly ferry across the bay to Taylors Island, but many times the hardest part was getting across the Patuxent to where they were now.  From here, they would then decide whether to go across the bay to Preston or head further North to other friendly stops along the Road to Delaware. Billy said he would be most helpful along those stops further North and on this Western side of the bay as he knew the terrain so well.

For four more years Billy worked out of Martha’s farm hiding and transporting runaway slaves on their way North.  He would make occasional trips back to Bowie to fortify the barn that the Union soldiers had not burned when they torched his house that day.  His family’s barn would become the main Railroad Stop before taking those last steps to freedom that lay just 100 miles beyond in the free state of Delaware.

After reconstruction, Billy went on to become a lawyer and then a judge in Calvert County Maryland.  Martha had left Billy the farm in her will, and he now used it as a haven for black people who were freely emigrating from the south and needed a place to stay and rest before continuing on to the Industrial cities of the northeast.

When Martha was dying, Billy asked her who that mysterious farmer was that was out tending her field that morning when he first stopped by so many years ago? Martha said:Why don’t you know; that was my father, Ethan Hawkins. He worked that field every day since my husband and two boys were killed.  I’m surprised he let you see him.  I thought I was the only one who ever knew he was there.  But, but, but, your father died many years ago I thought.  Martha looked at Billy with those beautiful and gentle eyes and just smiled …

Seeing him that day had changed Billy and the direction
of his life forever, making what seemed like King
Solomon’s choice — the right and only one for him.


Kurt Philip Behm
Phosphorimental Oct 2014
When I was down, I got high
   When life got in the way, I still got by
   There was nothing going ‘round that I didn’t go through
   But what you left undone between us, isn’t something that I want to do.

Seems we spend most our lives gettin’ out of the way
Of a sun that’s meant to shine on our darkest of days
Chased by our own shadows straight into the night
Lookin’ back at what won’t work, when the future still might… (whatever)

Friends say I’ve mastered falling down to an art,
Building pretty little piles from what’s been torn apart.
But the pieces that you left are as much as you took,
And no one gets the whole story from reading half of the book.

   So when you were up, you put me down
   When I got in your way, you ran around
   I reaped hope from the furrows, where nothing ever grew
   but fixin’ what you’re doin-is more than any man would want to do.

When I think back now what I wish I’d know then,
The same people fool me again and again.
They say hindsight’s 20/20, but to tell you the truth
While I can see through your lies, I’m still blind to the proof.

Yeh, your ghost seems to leap from one girl to the next
And while they keep gettin’ better, I know what’s better ain’t best
If my senses come to find me, they’ll know where I am
I’m just one idea behind, where the thought of you ends.

   And when I get down, I still get high.
   When life gets in the way, well, I’ll get by.
   In fact, there’s nothing [that] comes to mind, that I wouldn’t do
   So stop redoing what you undid, so it’s done, and I’ll be over you….

Till then I’m chasing you down, ’
cause when I’m down, at least I’m close to you.
we've all got one of these experiences...at some point they accumulate until we master heartbreak - the thinner the ice, the more lightly we skate.
The Fire Burns Sep 2017
Give me stars and bars and collard greens,
sweet lemonade and simple things,
Stevie Ray Vaughn and Lynyrd Skynyrd,
Texas brisket and beans for dinner.

Deep fried okra, and cornbread,
Black Diamond melons on a flatbed,
don’t be stupid, but if you start,
we’ll just say, “well bless your heart.”

Always fixin’ to go do something,
usually fishing, or maybe hunting,
running ‘round our stomping grounds,
never know what can be found.

Jack and coke or Coors Light Beer
copper still, dripping out clear,
fried catfish on Saturday,
in the barn for a roll in the hay.

George Strait sings out The Chair,
while we enjoy fresh country air,
sitting on the truck tailgate,
holding her hand and feeling great.
Nomad Mar 2014
Sure is rough out tonight,
sure is a long way, from being "alright".
So let me help you just wind on down,
I know you've been busy, comin' home from town.
Bills need paying, dryer needs fixin', and the kids drew all over the walls again.
Sorry 'bout that, but don't you worry none,
You can pay'em tomorrow, I'll get right fixed, and let the kids have fun.
Right now, kick off your heels, and out of your suit,
I promise, lil' Clara ain't breakin' your flute (not yet).
C'mon down with me, to the living room.
Here's our porch that's lookin' in, hey c'mon now and smile, no cause for doom.
Yeah sure, maybe I burnt the cake again, I blame it on the timer,
heck forget the cookin', we'll order from Dave, at that cook-out diner.
It's story time again, keep the kids busy, while I make the call,
now don't you worry none, I promise it won't take no time at all.
There's that smile,
I've been waiting so long.
And here's that tune on the radio, that I think ain't a song.
Sure beat me up, you say it alot, tell the town,
but ain't you happy now, you're windin' down?
Sun's comin' out again, there you are my good ol' pal,
guess the winds died out, wouldn't say, ol' gal?

— The End —