To stand alone on a distant shore
My being stricken with love and grief
The soul, it sings, of lost amore
and beckons back a loving thief

Like petals- surfing, on cold night air
Moonlight- drizzles through the dark,
The moon- it offers a wicked stare
and echoes the acid that fills the heart

One must know drizzles and days of gloom
to see the beauty—a rose in bloom.

I made a mistake. We are nothing but drizzles.

Raindrops dripping from the cold skies
Rain falling around us
Just a light drizzle
and us standing under the rain
just, standing
and looking at each other
removing all imperfections
and just staring at each others eyes
and rejoicing everything,

Rain drips down your,
hair, soaking wet
I am soaking too
but we look at each others eyes
Light Blue and Dark Brown
and just kiss
standing under the rain
under the cloudy skies
and kiss
with our hands intertwined
and still soaking

*We enjoy the moment

Her kind of rain was the kind that drizzled

Her drizzles were like soft rain,
On grey days, they made perfect sense to align with interspersed clouds hanging heavy on blue-less skies
But on days when a storm beckoned it's calling
I lost her,
She drowned
Somewhere
Where it never drizzled
Always rained.

Rain showers, mazes uncovered
Dancing like a little child with a toy
Reclaimed as the drizzles recovers
Pouncing  jumps like a kangaroo

The winter burns as the fire blaze
Warmed by the ambience of the logs
Reflections denuded, secrets unearthed
Times lost bouncing like a ball

Bare and **** in the cool mist and fog
A shadowy phantom arises me
An Orion exhibit, my alpha constellation
Carving me out of the hidden cave

The representative from Ohio
wipes his *** with Jose’s brown
palms after a bout of verbal defecation.
Luckily, Jose’s food truck houses

a small sink in the corner where
he can wash his hands in between
baskets of chorizo prepared
for rich politicians.

Sometimes Jose scrubs so hard dream flakes
rub off of his skin and he throws them
into the wastebasket to be picked
up by the sanitation workers who

eagerly jump like frogs in orange vests
into the waste of Americana. When
the Representative stops by for
a plate of carne asada, Jose’s

dream specks pepper the beef
and his salty sweat flavors
the inside of the burrito. He grills
the onions and green peppers with

a dash of minimum wage and
boils the rice in a mixture of blood
and pieces of his heritage.
He serves the meal in a white Styrofoam

tray and drizzles it with cheese flowing
from an open wound. The receipt is an unpaid
medical bill, the drink an icy reminder
of his future sipped through a straw.

The nightly news tells Jose
the Representative is bedridden
with a stomach infection. He
complains his insides feel like

a million ***** feet kicking the lining,
like unheard mouths with rows of
sharp teeth gnawing at the liver.
Jose to the tv: tonight we’re not starving.

Pianificare un matrimonio Texas tutto il tragitto dall'Inghilterra non è esattamente quello che chiamerei un compito facile .ma per questa splendida sposa e lo sposo è stato uno che è venuto insieme senza soluzione di continuità .Sto parlando di una squadra impressionante di fornitori .amici favolosi + parenti e romantico giorno di tempo piovoso tutti insieme per creare una relazione seria sognante .Vedi tutto catturato da Geoff Duncan proprio qui .

ColorsSeasonsFallSettingsInnOutdoorStylesCasual Elegance

Da Sposa.Dopo Jon ed io siamo fidanzati nel gennaio 2013 .ci fu inizialmente un sacco di avanti e indietro sopra dove il matrimonio reale avrebbe avuto luogo .Jon è vestiti da sposa dalla costa meridionale dell'Inghilterra .e miè èdal Texas .e anche se la gente continuava a dirci che era il nostro matrimonio.quindi dovremmo avere nel posto che ci rende felici .ci stavaè èvuole che sia davverodifficile per tutti della nostra famiglia e gli amici per farlo .Alla fine abbiamo deciso che aveva più senso avere in Texas.come ** TALE una grande famigliaèe al momento abbiamo pensato che sarebbe sicuramente ottenere un tempo migliore ( sì proprio! ) Ed essere in grado di avere il matrimonio all'aperto.Inoltre .un paio di Jon ' amici inglesi ci ha detto cheñ è èEtter nonèce l'ha nel Regno Unitoè èvolevanoè eo da qualche parte esotica .come il Texas !è è/ em >

Jon e io sapevamo che didnè èvogliono avere il matrimonio in una grande cittàècosì Dallas .dove hoè èoriginario .è stato escluso abbastanza rapidamente .La nostra posizione di nozze e il tema di ispirazione in realtà provenivano da uno dei matrimoni Jon ' groomsmen "che abbiamo partecipato insieme il primo fine settimana mi sono trasferito nel Regno Unito all'inizio del 2011 . Loro matrimonio era nelle Highlands scozzesièpiù disabitata .selvaggia .zona remota voipoteva immaginare .Abbiamo volato da Glasgow .affittato una macchina e guidato altre 3 ore a nord nel bel mezzo del nulla .La maggior parte delle persone che frequentano il matrimonio alloggiavano nello stesso albergo ( o nelle vicinanze ).per tutto il weekend ed è stato questo ( probabilmente centinaia di anni) edificio in pietra si affaccia su un bellissimo lago .La vecchia chiesa caratteristico era solo la strada - e stranamenteèversò prima.durante e dopo tutta la loro cerimoniaèsuona familiare .E 'stato davvero romantico anche se durante la cerimonia .perché eravamo tutti rannicchiati in questa calda chiesetta con il vento e la pioggia che urla fuori .Abbiamo apprezzato molto l'idea di fare una cosa simile dove tutti alloggiava nella stessa zona ed era in campagna - e tutti abbiamo potuto trascorrere il weekend insieme .Abbiamo pensato cheè ñal sicuro dalla pioggia in Texas estate.anche seèci stavaè èaspettano Scozia meteo !

organizzare il matrimonio in Texas da Londra non ha dimostrato di essere un compito facile .In un primo momento ** pensato che ero in cima delle coseènon eroè èlavoro e sono stato in grado di ottenere la maggior parte dei miei grandi fornitori prenotati.Ma poi ** trovato un nuovo lavoro nel mese di luglio e che ' quando le cose sono diventate davvero difficile .** sottovalutato quanti piccoli dettagli ci sarebbeèma fortunatamente per meèmia mamma e papà davvero tirato insieme e aiutatoèmolto .** trovato un sacco di mie idee per i più piccoli dettagli su Pinterest ( come si fa ) e ** trovato il materiale che avevo bisogno di fare loro su Etsy .Vorrei ordinare tutto il necessario per una delle mie idee e quindi provare a lavorare con mia mamma per vedere come si potrebbe ottenere fatto .I vasi di muratore sono un esempioèho ordinato 100 vasi di muratore .etichette.cannucce .ecc e li aveva spediti alla mamma .Poi ** avuto la vestiti da sposa mamma di passare le etichette per invitare la mia ragazza (che è INCREDIBILE tra l'altro) e aveva tutti i nomi stampati sulle etichette e ha dato di nuovo a mamma che li bloccato sui vasi .E così la maggior parte dei piccoli dettagli sono stati fatti in questo modo!I donè èche avrei potuto fare tutto senza tutto l'aiuto straordinario che avevoèmamma.papà .il abiti da sposa on line mio coordinatore e altri fornitori sorprendenti.

Jon e ** volato in Dallas la settimana prima del matrimonio per aiutare a finire alcune cose prima del giorno e per abituarsi al cambiamento di tempo orribile.Il weekend di matrimonio iniziato nel Austin sul ​​Giovedi prima perché il Inn Above Onion Creek richiesto l' intero hotel è stato affittato per tutti e tre notti .È finito per lavorare fuori fantastico e mi ha dato una notte in più da trascorrere con tutta la mia famiglia e gli amici Jon ' in un unico luogo .L'intero weekend è stato davvero speciale (ovviamente la notte del matrimonio reale era il migliore !) .Ma è stato incredibile .non solo avendo tutti i nostri cari in un posto.ma guardando quanto bene tutti andavano d'accordo e quanto divertimento tutti sembravano essereavere .

Tutta la settimana che porta al matrimonio .Jon e mi era stato nervosamente controllo le previsioni ogni cinque minuti .Purtroppo .una previsione di pioggia sarebbe semplicemente non andare via per il giorno del matrimonio reale .ma è tenuto saltando dal 20 % al 50 % e di nuovo al 20 % - la tortura totale.TUTTI continuava a direè ñhhh donè èpreoccuparti !Non ' sicuramente pioverà .Essa non fa maièprobabilmente sarà cielo sereno !èquindi non era davvero stressante a tutti quando tre ore prima della cerimonia .la pioggia peggiore cheè èe visto in anni laminati in ( ben che potrebbe in parte essere perché drizzles solo a Londra).ma letteralmente il cielo stava cadendo .Probabilmente ero un piacere essere intorno in quel periodo .Per fortuna



.come ** detto primaèavevo fornitori incredibili che erano in grado di tenere tutto insieme ( mentre io ero un disastro ) e tutto si è rivelato splendidamente .La pioggia cessò per la cerimonia (per fortuna ).e il cielo si schiarì che ha fornito anche un bellissimo sfondo per tutte le foto di gruppo .Tutto sembrava essere scorre senza intoppi e ci siamo divertiti così tanto a parlare con tutti e ballare verso la fine della notte .
couldnè èpotuto essere più felice di come è andato tuttoèera letteralmente tutto ciò che avremmo potuto sperare.Ci siamo sentiti solo come se fosse volato da troppo veloce!Fotografia

: Geoff Duncan | Cinematografia : Jerry Malcolm 2nd Generation Films | Cake: The Cupcake Bar | Cancelleria : Love And Wit Paper Co. | Hair \u0026 Makeup : Erica Gray | DJ : DJ Floyd Banche | Ufficiante : Sarah Reed | Alcol: Specifiche | Cerimonia \u0026 Reception Venue : Inn Above Onion Creek | Coordinamento : stile e la grazia Eventi | barman : Bar Divas | Rehearsal Dinner Luogo : Iron Cactus 6th Street | vacanze : Illusions AffittiThe Cupcake Bar è un membro del nostro Little Black Book .Scopri come i membri sono scelti visitando la nostra pagina delle FAQ .The Cupcake Bar VIEW
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I may never know what exactly happened,
but I think I know the why of it

Tadhana…Fate…Destiny…Kismet…

Put it in so many words,
but it all boils down to that.

Tadhana…

shivers down my spine,
tears prickling my eyes,
as I hear once more the story,
the destiny
of two souls
one stormy day in July…

She was being stupid,
crashing into the waves that day
just for the thrill of it

He was being pensive,
reflecting on how those waves
just somehow seemed to soothe him

People slowly left the shores
as dark clouds loomed in the horizon
save for these two souls...

She wasn’t even supposed to be there,
just a spur of the moment thing,
forgetting her other worries
she loved storms, she loved the beach
combine them and for her it was bliss…

He went there for closure,
the 10th year of his brother’s death
trying to accept that he did all he could
he loved him, he loved the beach
but guilt drowned him…

The rains then came down in sheets,
winds whipping, storm waves crashing
she was almost at shore though,
when the undertow pulled her back

He thought he was imagining things,
his brother’s ghost perhaps?
When he saw her again,
and fear was tossed like jetsam

Was she the answer he was seeking for?
His redemption in another form?
Was this the reason why he was here now?
Her only hope for salvation?

Rushing out to sea,
adrenaline rushing through his veins
Faith and Fate working together,
he swam towards her

and as they reached the shore
the winds dropped to a whisper,
the waves went back tickling sand,
the raindrops trickled into drizzles

She was breathing, thank God
He lay beside her, exhausted
She could only thank him with a smile
well, a smile that could match the Sun

and she took his hand...
and put it over her heart

It was not so much that their hands fit perfectly,
but there was something else
mole on her right ring finger
perfectly aligning
mole on his left ring finger

Tadhana.

Shivers down my spine,
tears prickling my eyes,
as I hear once more the story,
the destiny
of two souls
one stormy day in July…
and of why I am here.

The writer sits and ponders,
filled with empty silent dread,
‘Sorry, this word cannot be found’
the smug spellchecker says.

Weary of petty complications
he drifts, searching for inspiration,
soaring through the African sky
with glorious, lofty liberation.

The yellow plains stretch far below
herds of buffalo, running free
the lions hide amongst the grass
dotted around sandarac trees.

He soars now, over snow-capped peaks
tableclothed in angry cloud,
by eagles, gliding with their young
their talons stretched in readiness
silhouetted in the fiery sun.

He conjures now, Fijian sand, lazy swaying palms
crashing frothy, roaring waves; silky banana ***.
A sparkling ocean glittering, caked with yellow icing,
just a mirror for the setting sun.

But then wings of grace are stripped and
he plummets towards uncertainty,
falling back to swivel chair, staring
at desk lamps, coffee, burgundy.

The rain drizzles down outside,
the heating pours through well-placed vents
as Chinese Communism awaits:
confronting, mocking, dense.

A Monday morning in Richmond
     is like waking up with your head
   shaking with commotion.

You pray while you take a dump.
       You end up going across the street to Starbucks,
    with three-sixty left on your credit card.

For some reason unbeknownst to you,
you feel that you're a Renaissance artist,
brought to earth to perform studies on human beings.

Little by little you realize that you're the son of God.
There's a moldy tennis ball in
your pocket labeled: God.

Rap, or is it, Rock music that pumps through your ears?
And you're not afraid anymore.
You start to notice the handwritten facade built around your surroundings.

The State Farm billboards
perched above the scaffolding.
Your nose drizzles with crimson.

Memories of the Christopher Walken Impersonator stains the keyboard.
There is no real difference between the garbage man
and your best friend, the one who supplies you with mescaline.

And the comedown feels like a Indian Monsoon.
Electrocute your senses
until you've turned numb to your baby sister Victoria.

The Toyota Avalon cruising up
the street corner with the yellow high beams
is not the white witch from The Wizard of Oz.

Trip falls.
Inhale smoke.
Speculate more.

Dirigibles in the clear, blue sky plummet down.
You listen to your parents while you're high on *****,
wondering why mom dukes looks like Johnny Depp.

Fingers tremble as you try to type out
a handwritten letter from prison.
You meant to text message your mom, "Happy Mother's Day."

And instead
you typed out to her,
"Happy Birthday Mother!"

Lows and highs permeate through your heart.
Caving in, the walls crush into each other.
That girl was married and you gave her a head start on life.

You stole your best friend's birthday money to buy M. You tell yourself everything
is going to be okay as you swivel in your leather recliner,
A ****** dollar bill jammed up your left nostril.

Long, blue rails dotting the wrinkled notebook paper,
used up from the last owner. You
can't stop coughing.

You throw up on your clothes.
And you start to think that
maybe you are ******* up and you can't stop without an intervention.

Then
you start to think,
maybe this is all in my head.

The cold wind nips at your exposed ankles.
Red sores develop on the back of your elbows.
Local pariah is far away from his hometown.

Your favorite Uncle has stage 4 lung cancer,
and you're chain smoking menthols
to ease the edge that splits your brain in half each morning.

What is struggle without the lost—
without the success on the other side of sanity?
You pop prescriptions to ward off the insects gnawing away at your eyeballs.

Gouge your intestines with a straight edged blade bought
from the dollar store.
Ode to Keroauc.

The unholy manuscript written with pen and needle.
Cool story bro.
But you have nothing, but mistakes to offer to this unjust world.

And earth continues to spin on an uneven axis.
When it comes to a point where fiction and nonfiction
        are void of speculation.

           When it comes to the point where reality and dreams coincide
and you begin to stumble
over your shoelaces that are tied.

When it comes to a point where
               your enemies and friends seem the same that is the point
when you attempt to sleep.

But sleep will always allude you, you Danny Art
          So read your poetry aloud to the unsung.
To the sleepless.

The Walkers dressed in rags approach you,
smoking on black and milds, dark rings
circling their eyelids.  

And the time of night which you so longingly search for
in the face of listening to The Dark Knight soundtrack, gives you a pulse, a sudden click that boosts you into peril.

That bloodstain drenching
the corner of your eye sweats profusely. And that's when you start to wonder:
is everything that I'm doing baked in fallacy and witchcraft?

The comedown.
The comedown.
The comedown.

You are the burden of my fellow constituents, lost in reverie,
gone in madness, forlorn from deeds,
that are too great to imagine.

Your tears mean nothing
in comparison
to the world at large.

And that's okay.
And that's okay.
And that's okay.


You begin to discover,
that you do not write poetry,
but you write greeting cards in a journal.

Or a pen and pad,
ink
and blood.

Sometime today...

I look up at the sky
It is cloudy and dark
Flickers of lightning
And growling of thunder
Threatening the day's work
With uninvited wet showers
Bad for business, these rains
Keeping our customers indoors
Filling our potholes to the brim
Drenching our zeal to work
I look, as the drops fall down
In their multitudes
Clattering against my window
Bearing down on my roof
Intent on washing away my hopes
I miss the sunshine and its rays
I miss the warmth of sunrise
I miss the comfort of sunset
And with all my heart
I loathe the rain
Yearning for the sun
Soon a remembrance is awaken.

Somewhere in the past...

I looked up at the sky
It was sunny and dry
Debris of dusty winds
And a hot tempered sun
Worsening the day's labor
With unfriendly heat waves
Bad for farming, this heat!
Keeping our seedlings underground
Drying our boreholes to the bottom
Smoking our will to work
I sweated, as the rays blazed
In their fury
Burning through my window
Melting down my roof
Determined to roast my vision
I missed the rain and its showers
I missed the chills of the storms
I missed the drizzles of dew
And with all my might
I despised the sun
Praying for the rains
As if that would quench my thirst!

Yet I wish it away as soon as it comes...*


© Raphael Uzor

Coward sun
Hiding from a
Little
Rain

I was sitting at the Costa Café located in Indiranagar 12th Main road. To my right was the lane, sporadically disturbed by the wagons of sophisticated residents in the area. A Hollywood music puffed to the left of my ambience that comprised the café au lait hued interior, perfectly contrasted by the white Royal Genware Porcelain cutleries. It was a Sunday afternoon. The glass walls of the café were stained by the transparent drizzles of rain. I noticed my faded reflection on the glass wall. The eyes in the reflection held no sparkle. It was a pale face of a 32 year old adult, who has surrendered himself to Norns. Beards on the face was a sign of mental otiose. A good designation flavored with a terrific Pay Scale over the norms has filled the life with luxury. What more I need! I blinked. Tears occupied my vision to lubricate my eyes dried out of staring for long….
She entered into the Café with meek steps. She was wearing a bottle-green colored Patiala suit. Her head and upper body was veiled under a red Kashmiri stole. The veil was perhaps put on as a shelter against the drizzle. She seated opposite my position, three tables to my left. She slung her hand bag away on the opposite chair, removed the veil and threw it on the bag.

I skipped a heartbeat. I saw her after 11 cruel years. She looked fairer and chubbier. Her hair had grown longer; she managed to collect them into a neat plait, falling along her right shoulder touching her lap as she sat on the chair. A waiter came at her service. She bothered not to look at the menu and ordered a large Latte with a quick rise and drop of her eyes at the waiter. A streak of blue mascara made her eyes more stunning. However, those eyes have lost that magical grace. I remember her obsession for eye makeup. She used to imitate every step mentioned by the beauticians on YouTube. She had a rich collection of eyeliner, mascara, eye shadows and what not.  Her concentration during eye makeup was firm. When I had asked her why she put so much make up on eyes despite being a blessed beauty, she had always replied that the color on her eyes proves her chirpy soul of having me as her partner. Every time when she had cried in my arms after a storm of misunderstandings between us, she had pulled my shirt to bury her face within the hug, and ended up smudging her eye makeup over my shirt chest. She had conceded the smudging as the decay of her soul due to misunderstanding. I had always laughed at her childish theories and underestimated it for being absurd. Now that she had left my life, I realized she was never immature. Each small act of love and care for me was priceless. Her love theories held a deeper meaning that always hued her soul bright. But I was blind. I remained blindfolded by the silky rich aims. Neither could I see deep into her mesmerizing eyes, nor could I shelter inside her majestic heart. It was already very late. Her soul has already decayed along with the colors of her eyes. All that was left behind was a feeble streak of fate.

The waiter appeared to serve her order. This time she thanked him with raised eyes and a forced smile. She added some sugar to the coffee, stirred it and then cupped her palms around the coffee cup to soak in some warmth. I spotted a diamond ring in her left ring finger. A spark of reality exploded inside my core. To re-confirm, I looked at her hair parting on the forehead.  There was a small vermilion mark. She was married.

Suddenly the Hollywood music at the background became loud. I realized the café was crowded enough. The drizzles of rain had stopped and the sky was clear. I could see her reflection on the glass wall to my right. A long life has passed. I failed to catch hold of the most beautiful gift ever. The eminence of huge money earned is limited only to the conspicuous objects. I have already lost the angelic affection of the most beautiful girl I could ever imagine. A vacant chair opposite to me proved the destitution of my soul. Neither have I owned an engagement ring, nor a friend to lend an ear to listen to my mental adversity.  The greed to eat money has left me diseased. What do I have? I blinked. Tears occupied my vision to lubricate my eyes guilty of every moment ridiculed for disparaging the people who selflessly loved me.

Speechless
Trying to let something out, maybe burst out
Probably shout out
Possibly break out
..
But no, not even close to talk it out
Ravaging inside me
Like a vulture ripping the **** out of its prey
..
Scared of flaming it out
What if it went wrong?
Since it always goes wrong..
Attempting so hard to gather my thoughts together
But they're like drizzles sprayed into the air
..
Returned to being insecure, on the inside
On the outside, seeking a queen, precious.
Excessively a judgmental world
Harsh claws, digging into prohibited areas
..
Not good, not good enough
I'll never be good enough
Not only to everyone, but especially to *him.

Drizzles from the sky
Catch in my eye
It will burn in future time
The cogs are turning and the oil
Floating on the surface of a droplet
As an angel
Dances on the head of a needle

Recycling and renewable energy
Can save our souls
And Mother Earth
Before its too late

Muggy murky dawn clogged with gloom the abbey

Where his grampy sleeps ,

Through

the drizzles fizzle

As native orchids embosoms and blossoms in his lost vault.

like a curfew drawn in the church

The pew lost its crowd

With the paws of time.

Lone man sleep

In deep latin chants they petrify you

Before sheol purifies you

And litany literature lecture limbs you

When in overprotected embankments of battlements

They dry their garbs

Where your lore forayed growth

And sweat smeared smelt breathed wealth

Chagrin dreams washed ashore

lay as upon a cold mornings recollection on a tabloids sold column

which drew your freckles bolder

In a savour of remembrance

For your zealous zealots

Who on an another 'all souls day' reoccur revisiting

the truth of their establishment


in prayers
The good Lord adorn you
Let Lekker dreams cradle you
Your consorts concert never consume you
And earth never haunt you

Waking up without a telltale dryness in my eyes,
The morning grey light’s cool blue tinge caressing my cheeks
I step outside.

Gone are hollow, yellow air and hauntingly pink sun, of diluted blood
Replaced by a spongy sky.
Replaced a clatter across dry leaves, a creak of thirsty trees, like snapping and groaning bones
Coolness drips into my hair and drizzles on my arms

Wash away this acrid flavor from my lips,
Carry the dust and drying weeds from my lungs,
Bring blossoms to the thorny brambles tangling my ribs

Settle on my eyelashes,
Fresher than all this dry fear
Trickle down my throat and cool away the dancing fire demons
Tormenting my soul.

Soothe my splintered state of mind,
Turn cracked earth to loamy mud
Wash the dreading from my veins,
Bringing life to blood.

Rain is falling on my left
Dark clouds hover over my head
The sun sets to my right

The ground waits longingly for the sun's touch
The sky lights up
And I walk along through the strawberry haze

Within the four walls
Below a roof
Busy with play of words
The poet is aloof.

The sky is breaking low
Pitter patter rain
Capture they must the flow
Of drizzles soothing pain.

Outside on a stretch of green
Drenched to the bone
A man with cracking skin
Hoeing from morn.

The toiler is tasked to ****
Paid by the hour
Must earn the precious quid
Whatever the shower.

The poet is lost in the toil
To grow his rhyme in shower
The **** works fast the soil
Growing hope by the hour.

A cup of coffee that sizzles
While outside it drizzles & drizzles

A season of sneezes beside steamy fireplace
While night passes in a slow slow place

Mists, marmalade silence & a fragrant hue
All are present, but where are "U".....

How can Belfast be so cold?
a breeze in a summer front
the unpredictable British weather
Of intermittent warmth and dull
drizzles of a torrential fizzle

The titanic stands erected
stilled by the western winds
In stiles as robust as steel
as shadowy silverly specks
reflect on the unused puddles

Southwards to the coastal shores
where green shimmers magnify
and blue waters justly testifies
of the beauty of the north-eastern waters
flowing from one glen to another

i.
he tosses you a chip,
its worth, its worth
it moons over your greedy soul
and you mask them all
with your chained lies,
to your silenced smokes
that wobbles up to your
sunken, tired eyes
ii.
you've been awake and to
the miles along the rims of earth,
your little brother's math assignment
scored over twenty out of fifty
and he told himself to make mama proud,
he, then, scribbled cartoons and addition signs
iii.
you've been awake and to
the valley gaps of the sunshine drizzles
your little sister's finding it hard to
participate in the maze of real life
unkempt to her own voices and she told herself,
"maybe I was just meant to be kept in streets-capes"
iv.
and your home rested on the mountains
of well-lived dreams gauged into your veins
you've tasted perfectly soggy cornflakes
in the morning and in evening, you
could taste the shrill of cicadas, blooming
into the stars-tied rose crescent
and it shut down, I've read novels like these
and heard Kurt Cobain sang to these
it was wonderful, but I'd liked it better
when the sunflower hopes rested into your veins
v.
the eleventh time he tosses you a chip,
it lays perfectly still in your palm
the twelfth time, it took over your greedy soul
with your tear-stained hazels, it whispered
rambling, gambling Willie,
do not let it consume you, as it did Willie
but it still echoed when you knocked on the door
rambling, gambling Willie,
"I'm home," you've been awake
but then, you've found none anymore

Most mornings are not clear.
Most mornings are not the type with a
ten-state view from the top of
Clingman's Dome, and two very expensive
tanks of gasoline. You're welcome.

No, most mornings are battered
by some kind of weather condition -
rains and drizzles and nebulous fogs,
unhappy bedmates, a productive cough -
or else the sun just remits,
stays dozing until it has slept enough.

Then you get that gray sky-
chalkboard, the punitive slap of
humid cold on your early walks, your
coffee rendezvous. Then you have
too many garments at 3 because you put
on extra at 8. Morning, in short,
wishes you ill.

Be aware that if you were born
this century, you lurched into no
midwife's hands, full of love and wet, but
a surgeon's, gloved and powdery,
who spanked you firmly, knocked you
down with a commanding stare, and gave you
the first of many cuts you were to receive.

But for having woken up, let's say,
on the wrong side of the bed (if
even there's a right one), I would
like to think we've done alright,
are not too warm or upset at midday,
not too disappointed in ourselves, our moments
of astounding social gracelessness
that we leave like bits of sneaker in our wake.

Still, though, a question:
where grows happiness? Where sprouts
the silver trunk, the cypress or birch? Or
ficus or orange or ginkgo biloba? Tell me.
I would tap that tree 'til it withers, and die
under its trunk, and the two very expensive
tanks of gasoline it took
to get me where I am.

i. you will miss him in drizzles and monsoons, in swells and tsunamis. you will listen to his favorite song for hours; it will hit you every unexpected moment. it will hurt, stab, ache, and you will suppress constant screams with strained lips.

ii. you will collect everything he gave to you and wonder if it is dimensionally real. you will sleep in his shirts, retaste saltwater kisses, and reread conversations as if there's something you missed the previous thirty times. absence does not make the heart grow fonder; it rips it apart and you cannot stitch the ragged halves with no thread.

iii. you will feel his touch presently in everything you do. it will be soft and cruelly comforting. it will constantly and inescapably linger. it will haunt you in early rainy mornings and dark lonely evenings.

iv. you will read endless musings on love and philosophy. you will entirely understand foucault's prison. you will live in steinbeck's tide pools and stars, and relate to simon bolivar trapped in his labyrinth. you will wonder why everything is like this, ugly and broken (and also if you are becoming delusional).

v. you will drink tea that scalds your tongue and stand outside on freezing nights, numb and overfeeling at the same time. you will ask the silent moon a thousand questions. you will see him and blink, head swimming, heart pounding in surges. the stars will wink and the wind will mock you.

vi. you will have blissful afternoons you forget and sorrowful nights you remember. it will still consume you in bouts, devour you in spells. nighttime will become both your enemy and remedy: it will wickedly remind you, yet help you heal.

vii. you will try and fail to make sense of him (and the universe in general). you will grapple with reality and yourself. perhaps you will never know why he stopped loving you: you will keep wondering how some things can just be left broken.

iix. slowly, slowly, you will sprout on your own; you will be tender and nearly whole. most importantly, you will realize his love brought you an entirely different kind of happiness.

ix. you will stop worrying and trying to piece together an empty puzzle. even the deepest scars find their way of fading. your mom was right: stop picking at the scab and your wound will heal.

x. you will learn to love yourself in ways he never could have loved you.

If people were rain,
I was drizzle,
and she was a hurricane."

Maybe I am one, a hurricane.
Inside I crave the peace and serenity
Granted to mid-morning drizzles
Falling gently on side walks,
But I cannot calm my dark,
Repetitive, abrasive thoughts enough
To bring in and accept my
Yearning for some quiet.

I can never stay anywhere,
With anyone,
For too long.

"I need to go. I need to get out of here."*

But, with you,
I forget time.
I feel open and vulnerable.
I just want to stop it all,
And just be happy.

Is that alright?

It's been raining since you left
It has never stopped at all
And I've never stopped thinking about
The day it started to fall

It's been raining since you left, dear
I miss when the sun used to shine
Every day was bright then and
On my lips there was a smile

It's been raining since you left me
Some days it drizzles, some it pours
But each day it's all the same
I miss you more and more

It's been raining since you left and
I miss your arms around my heart
Now it's cold and unforgiving
And I'm shivering in the dark

It's been raining since you left, love
Oh your warmth proved way too much
You bent, scarred and burnt me
Yet I'm ice cold to the touch

It's been raining since you left though
I try and try to see the sun
Not even a single ray of light
Have I ever come upon

It's been raining since you left oh
Will I ever find my way?
The rain falling, falling to the ground
Is all I see these days

It's been raining since you left but
The fire in my heart remains
Blazing, raging, flaming
Against the downpour of the rain

Light drizzles gently brushing on my cheeks
Misty pitter-patters
A butterfly flutters
A solitary stroll in the orchard of mystique
The dewy grass glitters
I am Mother Nature’s daughter

I saunter in the womb of the cherry orchard
Light-hearted tip taps
The squirrels take their catnaps
Gaily skipping under the falling blossoms
Spinning with laughter
Time is not a factor

From a distance, a pianist plays a chirpy tune
The jazzy anthem
A tune of welcome
Arm with passion, I caper windward
One with the flowers and trees
The birds and the bees

Mild winds gently combing my tresses
Soft, rhythmic strokes
My senses they provoke
Then reality came in a soothing ring
My baby calls
Oh, my busy, silly goofball!

coffee drizzles
it’s tasty
& comforting
there’s too much snow
it won’t stop snowing
the window is getting boring
all I can think about
is the muffin I just ate
& what it will be like to be
home again
where all I think about
are the things I’ve just eaten
& sometimes why I haven’t
really left
my hometown yet
& not just for another getaway trip
but for good
I’ve always thought
a grey day
is the perfect metaphor
for how I feel most of the time
but so does everyone else
so I am just like
all of those other boring people
with boring lives
like this window
& the mother with the four
very plain looking kids
three tables down
& the muffins lined up
on the counter top
for boring people like me to buy
as they wait
for a plane to come to
carry them to a whole
new world
where routine doesn’t exist
only margaritas & surf’s up
or else,
to carry them back home
back to reality
back to functioning like
a complete robot
in the safety of
fear
there is a plane waiting to take off
just sitting on the runway
I wonder when it’ll get going
I wonder where everyone inside of it
is going
& where I am going
& what I am doing
here
instead of living
I watch snow fall out of a window
when it could soak me up
& give me a reason to sit
by the fireplace
with blankets, tea & a book
whether I am alone
or with a lover, friend, cat or dog
I can see
how that sounds more boring
than sitting in an airport
eating muffins
but it is exciting
to me
because it is happiness
to me