i wrote a poem. it wasnt about the leaves falling or growing back. it was about a boy that was too sad to
even look at himself in the mirror. sometimes he believed that if he looked in the mirror for too long he wasnt who he was supposed to be, sometimes if he looked in the mirror too long he became a monster and thats particularly the reason why he avoided the mirror at night because thats when monsters become real and he was tired of thinking of himself as a monster.
i wrote a poem but it wasnt about summertime or the way the sand feels between your toes or the cold rush of ocean water on a hot day. it was about the salty tears that he would cry because demons were haunting his room at night. and not the demons like ghosts but the demons from within. the kind of demons that you cant run away from.
i wrote a poem it wasnt about a bride blushing when the groom snuck a kiss when the priest wasn't looking it was about the funeral we gave you. it was about the hundreds of people who stood in line just to see your face one last time before youre put in the ground. it was about me staring at your chest from afar hoping that it would move that maybe this was one of your famous jokes and maybe your lungs would start working again along with your heart and your organs and your brain and maybe your eyes would open. perhaps itll scare someone whos standing right next to you but who cares bc youre alive. but you didnt. and now now youre in the ground.
i wrote a poem and it wasnt about me it was about finding the demons. i found the demons inside of you when you were put into the ground. i found the demons because as they lowered your casket into the 6 foot hole they dug for you i saw one slip out before they closed it. the demon was dancing on your casket and as they lowered you to the ground, i jumped. i didnt jump up i didnt jump back. i jumped in and i started hitting that demon as hard as i could because now that youre gone the demon had no place else to go. the demon knew he had won but even the best fall down sometimes and i made sure he fell as hard and as far as he could.
i wrote a poem but i couldnt save you from yourself. if i could have shrunken down and fought that demon before you left me i would have. but i couldnt. i had all these words left to say to you but they started in my chest and never made it to my throat and now im sitting here with all the words that couldnt have saved you anyway because the demons were trapped inside of you. the only way for you to be happy again is to cut yourself open & rip them out yourself, so you did. the demons were trapped & stuck inside you, and i know because i have demons stuck inside of me too. but sometimes i get so mad because if im still here then why arent you? if im still here fighting myself trying not to rip out my own demons, then why couldnt you have done the same? i needed you.
i wrote a poem. and it was about my demons being stuck inside of me and theyre crawling and theyre running around and sometimes they run to a dead end and they hit my fingertips and they bounce  back and run straight into my heart. they run through my veins, through my arteries. sometimes they break my ribs in the process but they heal so quickly that the doctors dont believe me and call me crazy but i promise them that theres a demon inside of me and hes breaking my ribs and hes breaking my soul and hes breaking my heart but i can still feel the demons running inside me. and i dont know how or why or when but i just want them to go away i dont know how im going to do that but i said some day i would. and i think thats the reason i cut myself open, to try and find a way to show the demons a way out but they run through my blood stream and i can feel them in my fingertips and i can feel them
in my forearms and i can feel them in my elbows and i can feel them in my shoulders and in my neck and i can feel them going down my throat. and i can feel it in my chest and i can feel it in my liver and i can feel it in my stomach and i can feel it in my pelvis. and i can feel it in my knees and i can feel it in my shins and i can feel it in my ankles and i can feel it all the way down to my toes and suddenly its like an electric current and it flows all the way back up to my head and shock the hair in its roots. it feels like i cant say anything fast enough or correctly.
i wrote a poem & it was about sometimes i believe that why i write & not speak is because i cant say the right words and maybe if i state at a blank piece of paper long enough the right words will come out but i know, i know they wont bc the demons are still stuck inside of me and i think thats why you wrote so beautifully that night and didnt ask for help. the demons knew that they were finally coming out and sometimes when the demons come out its the best time to say things.
i wrote a poem and it was about wanting peace. i just dont have peace but rather i have pieces of myself.
i will never have peace until my demons are gone. but im trying to find a way to get the demons to leave me alone without dying im not sure if i know the right way but im sure as hell trying. but the drugs dont work and the alcohol doesnt work and the cigarettes dont work and the blood doesnt work and the pills dont work. but i have to find a way to stop them before they eat me up inside and they tear me apart. in order to stop them ill have to tear myself apart and thats why i break things and thats why
i throw things because i have to find something to destroy other than myself and sometimes i pull my hair because i cant understand whats happening to me.
i wrote a poem and i started to see red for a bit but i stopped seeing red because the curtains are red and the walls are yellow. the candle on top of the cabinent is red brown and yellow and the book on the couch is  yellow and red the couch is yellow red tan green blue. the table is brown and the floor is brown but the carpet and the drapes are red.
i wrote a poem. maybe i should stop talking about them before they come back its like a taboo its like the  field of dreams and the saying"if you build it they will come" and i promise you that if i built a bridge from my heart to my brain the demons would make their way back & i would be consumed by them and im not sure if i can deal with that so ill cut the bridge in half before they start walking towards my brain.
i wrote a poem. and it was about me snapping that bridge in half and watching the demons fall down my throat and into the acid in my stomach, but that doesnt make any difference because once one does another one is born. so as long as the demons keep walking they will die with my secrets but the new ones will find  a new way to torture me, and maybe thats worse because if they need new ways to torture me then every thing will torture me. perhaps thats what happened to you.
i wrote a poem but im not sure what its about anymore. but i do know that its not good and im tired of speaking.

the battle roared across the sky like
an epic Sanskrit in the palm of a hand,
folded tightly with a beginning and
an impending ending.

the gods were beautiful
with glowing white skin,
their hands grappling tridents
falling across their chests were
necklaces littered with skulls.

the demons clashed the tridents with their
clawed hands, fingernails the size of Rhode Island,
and bulging eyes fixed on their opponents.
the demons were grey, their skin veiny and taut,
the yellow in their eyes like lightning
in the black sky.

and the men sat in a large circle, in front of their homes
and bars and football fields,
in lawn chairs and lazy boys and stoops and bar stools,
huddled in a circle with filled coolers,
and they drank and commented on the battle
with eyes that were white,
with mouths clung to a glass or bottle,
with ears listening to each other.

“the gods are winning” one says.
“no, it’s the demons. did you see the way he
pulled out that god’s eye?”
“yeah but the rest of the gods are too strong”
“no, I would bet on the demons”
“well I’d bet on the gods”

and the gods and demons continued their battle,
the sky lit up with a war like no other,
and the men sat and drank and talked of epic war
like it was a common sport.

a man that had been quiet says,
“I hope the gods win”
the one for the demons asks “why?”
“well, I don’t want my women to be like the demons”
“well, I don’t want my women to be like the gods”
the one on the lazy boy says
“I don’t want them to be like either”
a barstool man chimes in,
“I want my women to be like the gods in the kitchen
and like the demons in bed”
and they laugh.
and the sky bursts with violence.
and they drink.

the gods grab the upper hand,
pulling demons into the sky,
they obliterate them
one by one.
“I told you the gods would win”
“It’s not over yet”
“Give it up, evil will be a thing of the past,
we can go to the grocery store without the
fear of getting robbed,
or pump gas after midnight”
“Well if the demons win you could
get a ****** and lie to your wife without
guilt, without remorse, with a smile on
your face”
“And how will my wife be acting?”

the demons stir and pull away,
they race across the sky as the gods pursue,
the tridents launched into clouds,
the demons laugh and gather.

a man on the stoop says;
“what if no one wins?”
the one for the gods says,
“someone has to win”
“well, what if they **** each other off”
he laughs, “the gods won’t let that happen”
“they may not have a choice”

the demons rally and rip tridents
away from the gods,
and use them on the gods,
and force the gods to retreat.

“I told you! the gods are going to die!”
“no, they have them just where they want them!”
the battle continues.
a violence like no other.
a sky like no other.
the men drink and look at each other.

“don’t let the gods fool you,
they won’t give up”
“the demons are attacking,
they have the tridents!”
as the battle ensues,
a man in a lawn chair,
drinking forcefully,
watches the battle closely,
he doesn’t favor either side,
he enjoys the fair fight,
he takes a long sip and says

“why should we care if they **** each other?
we may be better off,
left will no longer battle right,
the ocean and beach won’t battle each other for the tide,
the sky and ground won’t battle for the horizon,
the moon and earth won’t battle for the sun,
up won’t battle down,
male won’t battle female,
synonyms won’t battle antonyms,
employees won’t battle bosses,
classical music won’t battle rap,
democrats won’t battle republicans,
you get my point”

a man on the stoop says
“that’s what I’m talking about!”

and the gods pull their tridents from the demons,
and the demons tuck their claws into their chests,
and they both look down at the men,
then they look at each other,
and the men finish their drinks and turn
to leave without ever getting anywhere.

Demons, demons in your hair
Demons, demons are right there
Demons, demons, everywhere

The little blue one shields your eyes
The big purple one pounds your head
The little red one whispers lies
The ******* one wants you dead

Demons, demons taunt you so
Demons, demons are your home
Demons, demons cause you woe

You might remember
The tears of sadness
You might remember
The pain and anguish

Those demons like to tell you things
Those demons like to make you swing
Those demons, they know everything

Some demons are born from malice
Sky rending hatred and blood storms
Such are demons of unending passion
Some demons are born from greed
Covetous grins and shifty hands
Such are demons of delirious nature
Some demons are born of desire
Coquette gazes and glazed eyes
Such are demons of temptation
Some demons are born from hunger
Thirsty tongues and soft palates
Such are demons of gluttony
Some demons are born from envy
Green eyes and clenched teeth
Such are demons of bitterness
Some demons are born of laziness
Slow movement and emotionless
Such are demons of apathy
Some demons are both of the self
Arrogant demeanor and fearless gaze
Such are demons of pride
All are demons, that come from oneself
But the true evil of sin
Is the self.

When the days are cold
And the cards all fold
And the saints we see
Are all made of gold

When your dreams all fail
And the ones we hail are the worst of all
And your blood's run stale

I wanna hide the truth
I wanna shelter you
But with the beast inside
There's no where we can hide

No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom, come
This is my kingdom, come

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide

At the curtain's call
Is the last of all
When the lights fade out
All the sinners crawl

So they dug your grave
And the masquerade
Will come calling out
At the mess you made

Don't wanna let you down
But I am hell-bound
Though this is all for you
I wanna hide the truth

No matter what we breed
We still are made of greed
This is my kingdom, come
This is my kingdom, come

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide

They say it's what you make
I say it's up to fate
It's woven in my soul
I need to let you go

Your eyes, they shine so bright
I wanna save that light
I can't escape this now
Unless you show me how

When you feel my heat
Look into my eyes
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide
Don't get too close
It's dark inside
It's where my demons hide
It's where my demons hide

My demons got my depression in an uproar
My Demons cut me up
My Demons **** my joy
My Demons haunt my dreams
My demons utterly destroy me
My Demons push you away
My Demons always leave me left alone
My Demons they are never truly gone
they run rampant through my life for a while
and then disappear in hibernation
until the next ******-up thing disturbs them
my demons are my demons alone
I fight them silently everyday
My Demons let no one come close
I guess my demons protect me that way

these demons they haunting me,
they ******* won't stop bugging me,
they screaming in my ear, 'do it now'.
won't leave me alone, won't leave me alone,
why won't everyone just leave me the **** alone?

****, what am I saying? Am I ******* stupid?
I don't wanna be alone, this loneliness drives me mad,
but I push them away, pushing people away,
cause why? Cause I'm angry, cause I'm mad?
What the **** does it matter, why do I care?
Why am I this way, so weird and insecure?
When I look in that mirror, and I see that
face looking back at me, I just want to *******
grab it and slit its ******* throat.
Why am I so ugly? I don't ******* know.

these demons they haunting me,
they keep on stalking me, day and night,
they keep on leading me astray, oh,
won't I ever find my way back to where I was.
They won't let me alone, can't you feel my plight?
why do they do these things to me, why won't
they just leave me alone?

Demons, are they real, the **** should I know?
they may just be something sick like my head,
something dark and twisted brought to life,
by these worries and these fears that I made up my mind.
whether they be real or just ******* fake,
I know they make me wanna curl up and die.

these demons they haunting me,
in my dreams, they stopping me,
won't let me be, won't leave me alone,
won't let me be the person I know I can be,
won't let me be free to be what I know I can be.

And when I set my mind to racing,
I can feel my arteries thumping, and my heart pacing.
I'm gonna need a ******* pacemaker, at this rate,
cause all these fears and these worries going to build,
and one of these days, I'm gonna ******* blow,
all over everything and everyone, and y'all
be left to pick up the pieces of my broken soul.

these demons they haunting me,
I can hear those ******* laughing now,
at me and my self-conscious bull-****,
knowing that all this is just another ego-stroke
as I feel sorry for myself and wait to be comforted
by those people that want to call me their friends,
but really, I just seem them as means to ends.

Call me corrupt, or just call me a ****,
but I know that machiavellian ****,
my means are always justified by my ends,
know that I'm always right, even when I know
that I'm wrong, I keep on fighting like it's a war,
and I'm the ******* 5-star general,
that earth-rattling, world shaker who
the universe rightly revolves around
I ain't no Prince, I'm the ******* King!

these demons they haunting me,
they egging me on, telling me I'm right,
even when I'm wronger than wrong.
I know it's wrong, but it feels so good,
and I can't find it in me to argue
when the promise of righteousness feels so good.

And so I keep on playing the game,
arguing and fighting over petty ****,
desperate to prove my point like it matters,
feeling that high when I prove someone wrong,
it fills me, it thrills me, it's like a spine-chiller.
It's a ******* drug and you, the dealer,
but the way I'm feeling, like a high-wheeler.
I won't complain or say things should be different.

these demons they haunting me,
I can hear their ***** singing along,
I can hear their voices ringing real soft,
it sounds so sweet, but I got this feeling
deep down that maybe it ain't as good
as it sounds and there's something deeper lurking.

All it takes is one word alone, and I'm
shattered like broken glass, like I just got
put out on my fat ***. Cause I know I'm
fat and ******* ugly, you don't got to remind me,
mirror, I'd rather hide the truth.
And just like that the circle is running again,
like it's done time and time again.
A cycle of loathing, then a cycle of loving,
then a cycle of loathing, a cycle of loving.

these demons they haunting me,
not even caring that I'm onto them,
and those games they play, they just
keep on grinning, keep on sinning,
these jackals, they wanna bleed me dry,
they wanna consume, wanna swallow my soul,
like an anaconda, they wanna swallow me whole
why won't they just leave me alone,
so I can find some kind of inner peace?

Instead I just keep on rolling on that
hill like I was Sisyphus, and my ego's
the boulder, and every time I push it up,
I know it's gonna come down even stronger
It's like I gotta just deal with the fact
that when I'm happy, the sadness'll
strike about 10 times harder than it ought to,
like it was giving me a special '*******'.

these demons they haunting me,
I think they ******* hate me, but
who can really blame them? I hate
me too, and the ******* I can be,
the ******* I can be, the ***** I can be
when I let my jealousy get the best of me,
treating my friends like they out to get me,
Sometimes when I think back on how I act,
I just want to kick my own *** just to teach
me a lesson.

I try to be good, and decent, and think good,
and think decent, but I can't find it in me
to feel that heart beat-beating for me,
I just look in the mirror and I hate what I see,
I hate what's there, and knowing I'm stuck where I am.
Why I gotta be me? Why can't I be you, or someone
new or someone better? Or just a person who I know
is better than me? Smarter than me, nicer than me?
Kinder than me, prettier than me?
Why I gotta be stuck in this ugly *** ******* shell?

these demons they haunting me,
they taunting me like *******,
I don't know if it's in my head,
my mind playing those tricks on me,
or if they're really there to steal my soul,
but I know they keep tripping me either way,
I think I hate them more than I hate me,
and that's something to be said since I despise me.
They test me, they trick me, they want to end me,
and all I want is for them to get off my throne.
My throne of **** and wallowed pride, that's all mine,
for better or worse, I still want to claim it as mine.
Everyone keeps on testing me lately, human contact,
and I just want to be left the **** alone.
Can't everyone just leave me the **** alone?

Demons, who the hell am I kidding?
Satan himself knows I'm full of ****,
I'm just using them as an excuse to justify,
the kind of guy I am deep down, and to victimize
myself so I can throw out a line for sympathy,
and get that ego-stroke needed to get back in line,
and start that same wicked cycle back again,
hell, that's what all this is, just another me whining,
and complaining before I get high on me again,
at least that's what I say to myself to feel like I win

My body is the training ground for
All of the reject demons
My inner demons failed to qualify as the right sort of fight
To match with any worthwhile struggles so

My inner demons are over dramatic children
     They do not wage wars
     They throw tantrums
     They stand inside my temples and pound the walls
     When they do not get what they want
     And shriek ringing into my ears until they turn blue
     Then fall asleep when they get tired
     Forgetting that they were supposed to be upset
My inner demons are pretentious
     They call themselves demons
     When they are more like imps
     They tickle at anxiety with the nerve to call it an attack
     And separate velcro and seams with the audacity to say that
     They broke something
     Then press on my heart
     Daring to call it an ache
My inner demons are clumsy
     They walk with their toes curling around my eyelashes
     And slip and spill their handfuls of tears
     At inopportune moments
     As I tremble due to the ones
     That have tripped and tangled themselves
     In my heartstrings and vocal cords
     Causing me to grasp my rib cage in desperate attempts to reach them
     And tear apart the inconveniences
My inner demons are shy
     They sway in my veins to the rhythmic pulse
     With clawed hands outstretched to the blue walled sky
     Cautious to never leave a scratch through my skin
     They dance on nerve endings and muscle tissue
     With footwork just gentle enough to not summon bruises
     And hold themselves still against my capillaries
     As if their presence might distract my blood from
     Its daily circulation
My inner demons are hoarders
     They over-stuff the filing cabinets in my brain
     With reports and analysis of too many situations
     And pick up old emotions and hide them in the recesses
     Of each ventricle and aorta
     Creating pseudo-space for newer, stranger, replicas
     Then pack extra breaths into my lungs
     Storing "just in case" inhalations and overused sighs
     They insulate their homes with extra calories and extra clothes
     Hiding until they can forget themselves
My inner demons are moody
     They like to stitch up new wounds with the thorns of roses
     And pry open old ones with feathers
     They tie my tongue with pages of foreign textbooks
     They tie my tongue in gauze and cotton
     They tie my tongue with other tongues
     And pins and needles and teeth and drawstrings
     They are self depreciating and they know that they
     Are not worthy of their title

My inner demons are pathetic
     I suppose they're right where they belong

I wander aimlessly in my mind
Trying to get my life back on track.
I see my future, my goal, up ahead
But I’m pulled in a million directions.

Darkness creeps in every second,
And I’m drowned with words of
Discouragement
Like “can’t,” “won’t,” and “impossible.”

These words become my demons and
They push my friends and family away
As I sink deeper into the dark abyss
That I like to call my mind.

“You can’t do it!”
“You’re not good enough!”
That’s all I hear every day and night
As my demons take control of my life.

I can’t do it!
I’m not good enough!
That’s what I begin to tell myself
As my demons take control of my life.

I’m crashing and burning every second
As I listen to my demons more and more.
What’s in your past is in the past but my
Demons always bring my past to present.

“You always fail!”
“Why can’t you be more like …?”
My demons taunt and haunt me by bringing
The bad experiences of my past to present.

My mind begins to spin uncontrollably
As I become overwhelmed by my demons.
I believe their every word and every action
And I begin to disengage myself from reality.

I’m a failure!
I can never be like …!
I believe that my demons’ every word is true.
They’re controlling my life and I can’t escape!

Crashing and burning, I’ll always fail!
Escaping my demons, I cannot and never will!
I fall and I crash and I burn, at least in my mind.
This is my life, my demons’ life!

The demons live with me –
They have their own blankets ready,
So later we would go visit the creeks
And they will push me to the water and let me suffocate,
They will drown me in muds
They will blind me so all I could see is dark.

The demons live with me –
They invite me to our special hideout,
Decaying building and magical asbestos
And they will prepare an empty room full of irons and knives,
They will slit me with them
They will kiss me with them 'till I become numb.

The demons, the demons live with me –
They will celebrate my birthday party,
Their presents are bouquet of blights
And they also give me flaming matches for me to light up an inferno,
They will burn with me, laugh
They will burn every sadness I felt.

The demons live with me.
They are inside, they are calling me.
The demons, demons, demons,
THESE DEMONS,
          Demons,         d e m o n s
                                 are me.

I'm fine. My demons are sleeping. So I'm fine. They sleep every now and then. They let me rest and be fine. But then they wake up. They wake up my anxiety and my depression. I'm fine. My demons fight. I'm fine. They throw chairs. I'm fine. They throw tables. I'm fine. My demons cry out of anger. I'm fine... They laugh at my tears. I'm fine... They comfort me when I'm sad. I'm fine. My demons rest. I cry in peace. I'm fine... When they rest, I can finally sleep. My demons are awake again. I'm fine... I'm going to stay in bed. They say I'm not depressed. I'm fine... They take down walls. They take down cities. They take down countries. I'm fine... I smile through the tears. I smile through the pain. Help! I'm screaming. I'm not fine... They make me put on a happy face. I'm not okay... I'm not fine... I am depressed... My demons throw things. They break things. Every day is a new fight. Noone sees it because they won't let me show it. I smile... I'm not okay... I'm breaking... My demons are tearing me from the inside. I'm broken... My demons win every time and no one understands. And I can't make you. My demons are sleeping. I'm broken. And I welcome a new fight with a helpless breath. My Anxiety.

She has demons we all do
Demons that eat at our souls
So our death is sooner and our pain is worst
Eating us inside and out this is what our demons do
No one can save us from our demons
Not  even our loved ones
The demons eat the souls of our loved ones
Everyone has their own personal demons
We fight and we lose battles against our demons
Keep trying to fight because every demon has a weakness
With strength and power we may all be able to beat our demons
Just like how one day she will defeat her demons to

My Dear, Please understand.


You cant force your light upon him.

You might be the reason he smiles while his eyes squint and sparkle.

His laughter will certainly affirm your clever humor.

You will impress him with well-earned accomplishments.

Your impeccable wit will not go unnoticed.

He may even feel affection and empathize with your sincere words or actions.

You will undeniably allure him.



My dear, please understand.



You are truly worthy, you won't be to him.


You will choose him, he won't choose you.

He can't.



My dear, please understand.



His rejection is not a reflection of you.

His actions reflect something much bigger than you.

He is at war with demons you can't comprehend.

These demons whisper to his mind and dance on his heart.

They represent the weaknesses within him.



My dear,



You possess a servant's heart

but you are no servant of the demons that play on his.

We are all at war, you too have demons.

Demons are relentless creatures sent from the depths of Hell

they ravage and destroy our very being, if we allow.

There is no reasoning, no alliance that can be made with demons.

They will consume you from the inside.



My dear, please understand.



It's not him. It's his demons he has allowed to rule over him.

This is a solo war that can't be fought from the outside.

You cannot save him.

You cannot save him.

You cannot save him.

Only he can save himself.

And you must prioritze the war you are fighting.

You must save yourself.



My dear, please understand.



He is not the validation that you need.

His actions should not reflect your value to yourself or to him.

He is not your father's rejection.

His sweet carress will not requite the man of your past who was once not so gentle.

His affection is not sufficient in replacing the empty hole

expanded by doubt, abandonment, and anguish you sanctioned your demons

to create within yourself.



My dear,



Your tenacious nature and relentless love will not be disregarded.

Your weaknesses, the demons who dance on your heart

will surely capture the attention of his very own demons.



My dear, please understand.



If granted; the demons that consume him

will gladly consume you too.

-Ashley Johnson

The demon scratches me
I bite him back
The demon pushes me
I spit in his face with a smack
The demon taunts me
I calleth him out by name
They hate their name called
Don't wanna be recognized for the flame
The demon shows false affections
I giveth him hate
The demons a smiler as he latches to me
I'll kick him to hells gate
The demons find me downtimes
Though with God I shalt win
Demons love misery
To seeith one in sin
Demons are smelly
Like all the dump trucks on the earth
Times ten
Demons haveth enemies
They hate even their own kind
They haveth none kin
Demons haveth a date
With Satan in the fire
They'll turn thou on with lust
For thou they do admire
Demons hast hurt me
They've tried to bring me to mine death
Soo many health issues
I know tis not me
Them
The demons hast entered mine family
From the lives we didst choose!
They entered by portals
Between good and bad souls
They came and come as orbs
Spirtual energy
Trapped to a distance
God won't let them get to close to me
They always want more
They show themselves now and then
They'll portray themselves as good souls
Wherein its all pretend
The demons speaketh in mine bathroom
They hide out in the closets
Parched behind mine bedroom wardrobe
Spies as I sleepeth
They want mine bright soul
It's full of massive glowing energy
They know it as I'm told
So to bad because their not me
They made a big mistake
Turning away from God
Now their outcast losers
Fate of hell and grud!!
They'll soon be in chains and shackles
So they cause pain now whilst here on earth
They come in all shapes and sizes as I've heard from many others
Psychics
Life after death (experiences)
And from preachers
Pastors and others
They come large
Small
Animal like
Mauled
They come stinky
Scaly
Nothing thou shalt imagine
Couldn't fathom
Their everywhere
City streets
Malls
Gyms
Stalls
Homes
Air
First heaven
Second heaven
Hell
Everywhere
Yet these demons cannot taketh me
They knoweth I'm gods light
So demon get hence from me....
Go burn in thine own fright!!!!

No one knows me better than my demons.
I’ve been caring for them, nurturing them
like a parent afraid to see them leave.

My demons have remained faithful to me.
There is no part of me more forgiving.
I’ve fought with them, and tried to destroy them.

But my demons never abandoned me.
They’ve stayed with me, always speaking to me
kindly, with their gentle, sensitive voice.

My demons are my intimate partner.
At my worst and earliest suffering,
they arrived, eager to help me adapt.

My demons epitomize devotion.
They don’t have feelings for anyone else.
They only care about protecting me.

Sometimes, I try to confront my demons.
And then they just listen, like a friend should,
and offer to let me live without them.

But my demons know better than I do.
Feeding on self-loathing, the more they eat,
the more self-loathing I am to become.

My demons have figured survival out.
If I just choose self-loathing over love,
they will stay a part of me forever.

I saw a tear rolling down her face
I asked if you were alright
She said that she was fine
Somehow she always finds
The inner strength to carry on
She knows she's always
got a shoulder she can lean on
But somehow she composes herself to stay strong
Every time I see her she's smiling
Why's it feel like on the inside she's dying
Why does she hold back the secrets she's hiding

She's got demons
Yeah she's got scars
She's carried herself this far
She won't let another
Carry her problems
She's got a mindset to solve them
The demons she wants to control them

She knows she could tell
her friend's anything
But she chooses to hold it inside
Deal with it in the dead of night
She holds her pillow tight as she cries
She has bad decisions and regrets
She doesn't wanna share
She turns music on
To try help her sleep
But she lays wide awake
Thoughts won't let her sleep
She knows she's in deep

She's got demons
Yeah she's got scars
She's carried herself this far
She won't let another
Carry her problems
She's got a mindset to solve them
The demons she wants to control them

She's, spent the night
looking at stars
Making wishes
Skimming pebbles across the lake
She's afraid of what people say
Somehow she still puts on a brave face
She's looking for the sun
To brighten up her day
Then again she likes the smell of rain
Let these emotions just wash away

She's got demons
Yeah she's got scars
She's carried herself this far
She won't let another
Carry her problems
She's got a mindset to solve them
The demons she wants to control them

©2017 Written By Benji James

Go go the mighty Canberra demons
We won our first match
Against the Gold Coast suns
Never looked like losing oh no
We had an early lead and there was no way they will catch us
And at 3 quarter time we held a 40 point lead
Go the demons
Go the demons
The pride of our Capital
Go the demons
Go the demons
We are the best in the neafl
We will bring this great city of Canberra the neafl crown
Even if we are down
We will fight fight fight
Right till the end
Driving our opponent round the bend
The might of the demons mate
The best of the ACT
Demons rah rah rah
Demons rah rah rah
We beat the Gold Coast
By 94 to 83
Go demons dudes swing around the city
We will show the neafl who is boss

The secrets you shared
Opened my eyes real wide
Had to take the burdens
That you bared
Couldn’t let them lead you to death
I ****** out the poisons
Plaguing your mind
I wasn’t about to sit on the sidelines
I’m a fighter
Takes a lot to knock me down
It’s gonna take a lot more to take me out

Demons
Hunt me down
All of the darkness
I took that from you
Now I’m wanted
Demons
Hunt me down
I’m not one to be outgunned
in a fight
This time around hells wrath
may have me bested
In its fury
Demons
Hunt me down
I’ll do what I have to, to stand my ground

Once purified
Now drowning in darkness
Opened eyes
Fill these abandoned woods
Everywhere I turn spirits haunt me
I’m not scared, I’m not afraid
It was in this place
My life was made
There’s comfort here
And I’m alright
I don’t second guess
The decision I made
Alone with the ghosts
You gave to me
I told you I’d take them from you baby

Demons
Hunt me down
All of the darkness
I took that from you
Now I’m wanted
Demons
Hunt me down
I’m not one to be outgunned
in a fight
This time around hells wrath
may have me bested
In its fury
Demons
Hunt me down
I’ll do what I have to, to stand my ground

Heaven shut me out
Long ago
I’m just another abandoned soul
I’ll walk these deserts for the rest of time
Taunted by the nightmares that kept you awake all night
I hope you sleep peacefully in dreams
You deserve the best baby
I’m the one who took your pain
Made it my own
Cuz I could not watch it hurt you, no more
I’ll fight for you forever
Your angel in the darkness
I’ll fight until the end
Until my wings are ripped from my back
Until my eyes run black

Demons
Hunt me down
All of the darkness
I took that from you
Now I’m wanted
Demons
Hunt me down
I’m not one to be outgunned
in a fight
This time around hells wrath
may have me bested
In its fury
Demons
Hunt me down
I’ll do what I have to, to stand my ground

©2018 Written By Benji James

walking down a backstreet
had to quench my thirst
for alcohol or devils dust
which one would be first

it was then i heard the music
i forgot why i was out
my demons were in check now
t'was the music....there's no doubt

a backstreet bar
a dim lit stage
a singer singing
full of rage
demons screaming
hers and mine
i stumbled in
I had time

anger, venom
loud and strong
bass line pounding
pulled along
demons quelled
to say the least
this music tamed
my savage beasts

i sat and listened for a little while
i got a beer, it cost a smile
the waitress knew why i was here
i guess she figured, one free beer

the singer tore the stage apart
songs from her soul, not from her heart
she took a break and that was when
my demons found the night again

shaky, jitters
couldn't sit
couldn't focus
not a bit
cold sweats, cramping
demons caged
and then again
she took the stage

anger, venom
loud and strong
bass line pounding
pulled along
demons quelled
to say the least
this music tamed
my savage beasts

i knew the battle i would lose
my hunger was too strong
brought in line for a short time
by a singer and her songs

tomorrow night another war
between the hell in me
would my demons be calmed down
or would they be set free?

You want to see my demons you say,
Fighting daily to keep them at bay.
I daren't loose control,
For my words are powerful
A spell to be-hold.

My demons are held locked away.
For once unlocked like Pandora's box.

You want to see my demons come out you scream?
I pity you for the words unseen.
I can make you feel two inches tall,
non the less you continue to squall.
to mark my mind in agony,
The screams coming from inside.
If I let them out you will go running away.
Continuing the battle in my soul,
I look at you and loose control.
My words knifing away,
You continue to bellow.


I start to tell you.
A horrific person you are.
Using me for ****** conductivity,
Money making ambiguity.
You want me to be your slave
In many,many ways.

Once you put your hands on me,
my demons came out and backed you against a wall.
I could not breathe.
I started to fall.
The void took hold as I listened to my words.
I hate you.
In reality it was the truth coming out.
Constant anger pushed aside
My words continued to lash to the skies.
You hurt me in more then one way.
Thank Goddess my kids weren't here this day.
You told me I was nothing without you,
The only one who cared.
These demons flashed
but not in fear.
The strength I had to walk away.
For your pitiful display.
I turn around mocking you.
Do you have any clue what my words can do?
I turn to you and sadly say,
I fought these demons,
day by day.
Now the words in a continuous flow,
my anger has started to get out of control.
I started yelling
I back away.
I hate the words you say to me.
I look at you and remember
I was nothing.
So hear these words loud and clear.
I am no more your puppet on a string.
I am no more a lover,
you do not deserve me
I am no more your maid.
Go find your mummy.
I am no more
tamed.
You will live a life of misery,
You will live the rest of your days,
for love will never find you.
If you don't change your ways.
Empty and alone is how you shall remain.
Once you find happiness,
May the God's take it away.
I am not crazy,
I am a Pagan,
I believe in my Gods'
And I know you will dissipate.
For all the things you have done to me.
You will eventually see.
Like a wild horse
never to be tamed.
I look at you
and walk away.
You begged for my demons to come out to play.

Now you cry and ask me why?
Why would I say such hurtful things.
Because all you asked was for my demons to play.
Now you want me to go away.

And the demons gathered, robed in darkness; making enchantments- casting spells
And the night screamed loud- tears flowing pass
telling all what the shadows says
for out of the night, came a strange howl- eerie and uncanny
But the Demons hovered nearer
as the stars shined on them
meandering with deep glitters;
they cast a spell- forcing all men
to sleep in the dead of the night
and they sent nightmares of terrors,
to all mankind- inducing sleep paralysis

And the moon lit the dark skies,
with the shadows hunting men
still the Demons gathered,
making a wish; an evil wish
setting forth a journey- as they hover-fly
flying through those oikon trees,
hovering in one accord above
with their black robes floating
But they missed their pathways;
Embarking on a mixed enroute
Then the Angels flew in,
obstructing their responsive stimuli
the Demons attacked;the Angels subserve

In the midst of the turmoil,
The Demons pathways
they fly away; with all they had
The Angels took charge; breaking seals
And the Demons fell down flat
all with broken wings
The moon light comes sharper,
illuminating all sense of evil out of the night

Angels; with their signets breaking spells
And the heat was felt; as the Demons strengths gave way
Angels took charge.

We are never free of our Demons
We learn to ignore them
We learn to drown them out
We learn to live with them
Or we get drowned by them
And don't live at all

Our Demons only want one thing
They want to see you squirm
They want to see you give up
They want to see you fail
But you must not
There comes a time you must face them

When you face them
It seems like you against an army
It seems like you against the world
It seems like you against yourself
Because you are fighting yourself
You are your own fiercest Arch-Demon

After you accept this
You can finally conquer yourself
You can finally conquer the Demons that come from without
You can finally conquer even the world itself
And make it tremble
Before your awesome might

But be forewarned
These Demons are powerful
These Demons are smart
These Demons are adaptable
They are all of these things
Because you are all of these things

Surrounded by flame i see the false memories
Tricks of demons burnt away
Demons of hell couldnt do this
Demons of my own creation
Demons who seek to pull me down
My demons,the ones who swim and i cant drown or choke
The ones who tear me apart all day
The ones who say im worthless and stupid
The ones who say im fat and ugly
The ones who say i do not deserve happiness unless i suffer for it
The ones who wont let me be selfish no matter how small the wish
The ones who taunt me with childhood memories
The ones who cant let me forget what is real
The ones who laugh when i cry because my dreams betray me
I cannot escape
I will never escape myself
I am alone in my mind and even though my love tries he can never understand
There is not a love on this earth and in this place that could understand
I betray myself and berate myself to keep things simple
I break myself down so no one else can
I break myself down to build up a wall with my heart
My castle around my heart is my soul
Made to be scary
Made to defend a void that is behind it
Made so in order to let down my walls i must break myself

Shhhhh keep quiet I'm trying to think.
Get out of here I'm trying to be nice.
Shut up I'm trying to hold on.
My demons can't drown they know how to swim.
And no mater how much I try getting rid of them they don't go.
It all started with a heartbreak betrayal.
It started with little tears a bit of anger and paranoia.
It grew bigger I ignored and know its destroying me.
I'm losing my mind because of these demons.
I seem to cry every chance I get but they don't drown they just swim around everything gets more complicated.

My demons tell me to hate so much they give me all this bitterness.
I can't look at my wrist because of the scars I have.
Caused by me can't stand the girl I see when I look in the mirror.
Hating on everyone who loves me.
My demons don't trust no body.
Mt demons are horrible I hate them I try to do everything to chase them but its hard.
I Can't drown my demons they know how to swim

Am I the only one that has their demons feasting upon their souls?
They say it is easy to tie a noose around your mind,
To overcome the urges and temptations of ending your life with a suicide
They don't know the true pain and torment that is going on in my head
An epic battle that leaves me with restless nights in bed
"End your life already" they say, as they prey on me during my weakest hours
Sometimes I give into the voices, carrying the sharp blade to my wrist
Crying as I struggle to mutter three powerful words that keeps me going
Choking on my sobs, my lungs deflate with a desire to say that God loves me
I try to convince myself that God is trying to test my faith
And to just wait, wait and wait
Then my Demons will eventually go AWAY.....



~Imperfect Desire **

Demons cant live in the light,
They need shadow to forge the ties that bind you,
In uncertainty they breed, metamorphicly.

Demons can't live in the light,
We build them dungeons of secrets,
Great caverns of fear.

Demons can't live in the light,
In light they wither to framed conquests
On the walls of your subconscious,

Demons can't live in the light,
all stories remind you,
Hollywood defined it.

Demons can't live in your light,
The switch is a journal of gratitude,
Give thanks for yourself every day.

Demons can't live in your light,
The beam is action unyielding,
Nothing will work unless you do.

Demons cant live in your light,
Positive words and thoughts feed the beam,
" I can" surpases nuclear or coal.

It's hard, but I'm here to remind you.
Demons can't live in the light.
So build yours until it shines positively.

Because demons cannot live in your light.

She rises out of bed at midnight
She's got long black hair with some touches of white

She has long fingernails
With some black nail polish made from snails

She starts to dress putting on a long black dress
******* boots with a black scarf to top it off she's expecting a guest

She lives in the forest
Where no one has ever been unless their summoned or needing a spell word has it she's very experienced

She goes into her den
Grabbing a bucket and a net like she has done time and time again

Grabbing her torch setting the end on fire Ready to go explore and get what was required

She opens her crookedly door
Into the darkness she goes with her black cat in tow

She's hunting for her supplies
She's got her list two frogs,crow's feet, one rat heart, a lizard tail and one monkey  ******* which was a surprise

She gathers her findings
Stuffs them in her bag filled with linings

Heading home she uses her broom
She has an appointment tonight so she heads to the darkroom

She gets home and begins her brew
I slowly and unsure I knock on her door this seems so taboo

Come on in little beauty
Do you have it she snarls  I'm just so wary

I do I replied a lock of my hair
Including a small jar of my bright red blood with one tear

She took the items from me
Come sit down so we can get started so you can be free

I watched in silence
As she mixed everything in a ******* *** I was in reliance

She grabs my hand and puts the other on my forehead
You have a lot in there I can't promise we'll get them all it's so dredging

She started chanting as she stirred the potion
Let these demons out, let these demons out I feel like there's gonna be an execution

I was frightened
But they had to go to the island

Now drink this, I did as told
Now repeat after me she was in control

Release these demons from me
Take them away to burn in hell take all the debris and leave me the master key

Never to come back release my soul
For you have lived with me by entering through the keyhole

I started screaming,shaking,my eyes rolled up into my head
I was starting to seize up my body felt like fire I could feel the undead

I felt the demons inside me fighting for their survival
They started to rival

Release these demons at once she yelled
All of a sudden I could feel the demons obeying her commands the demons started to dispel

Finally it was over I don't remember it at all
But the witch said we didn't get them all due to the big brawl

You have very strong demons still inside you
This is all I can do you may have to give the devil his due

The witch just made this god awful  eeeheheehe
I knew at that point I was ******* do you disagree

I ran as fast as I could to get out of the forest
Glad she got rid of some of the demons but the rest still daunting me forever and are the strongest

When happiness and smiles you have within grasp
They’ll charge in with swords of pain and sadness
Raise your shield with a tighter clasp
Be strong, be strong against your demons!

As achievements and great success chimes
They’ll attempt to feed it with arrogance and pride
Keep watch and be aware at all times
Be strong, be strong against your demons!

While innocence and upright honesty comforts
They’ll rebel on with lies and sly deceits
Restrict them from ever passing forth
Be strong, be strong against your demons!

Among the midst of compassion and pure love
They’ll counter with anger and ugly hatred
Fend them off with all the might you have
Be strong, be strong against your demons!

They will be close your whole life
They will force themselves in
Do not let them win
Be strong, be strong against your demons!