All conflict fade in light
Of what is yet to come
I fear muself sometimes
Destroying all i’ve done
Confused by feelings, old and new,
By deamons i create
My love, i wish you only knew
What rages in my brain.

One second passed and all had changed
I am not ready still
To just enjoy the things i gained
The bliss i yearn to feel
Feelings of Love obscured by Fear
Of all that is unknown
Of monsters dwealing in the deep
Of deamons i had known

If you to ask me weeks from now
About my deamon friends
Ill lauth and tell you that right now
This deamons have no chance
But in this constant solitude
In castle made of Ice
I lock myself so far from you
Stare into deamons eyes.

Deamons and marvels
Winds and tides
Far away already, the sea has ebbed
And you
Like seaweed slowly carressed by the wind
In the sands of the bed you stir, dreaming
Deamons and marvels
Winds and tides
Far away already, the sea has ebbed
But in your half-opened eyes
Two small waves have remained
Deamons and marvels
Winds and tides
Two small waves to drown me

3 days ago I cried for the first time in 5 months.
I felt a drop or two, as my body heaved in pain
and desperation.

I thought I forgot how to cry.
I thought that I had the ability to be stronger than that
Or that the veins that constricted
my deamons
Were indestructible.

I was wrong.
I can cry
And I can feel
But the feelings haven't changed from then
I feel weak.
I want my strength back
I don't want a constant tug at the back of my throat.
I broke.
I want to be fixed.

lost in a strange world
  only sense we can find
Is in peering through the keyholes
Of locked doors
we bang our fists
and spread the spark
hoping its sent down wind
setting smoke to the answers within
were drawnto the fire
like moths to a flame
Unwilling to be tamed
by the safety belt of the world
smoke seeps from the lock
and we inhale deep
ravenous for
the taste of something
real
the burn we feel
goes undetected
among the drowning men
In this shallow pool
Of lukewarm genuinity
and over-chlorinated sincerity
but we breath the fumes in
with a whole new strength
we break down the door
unleash the deamons
begging for more
than this
unless
we become one
With the fears,
we become none
so we rise with the deamons
and we rise up
above the conscience
dont give a ****
because we never could fit
Within the boundaries
Of a newborn dying man
these unatainable boundaries
never could never will never can

Glare at the blank page,
Splatter it with black
the oil that oozes up
from deep inside me.

Shape it to a likeness
Give it a collar, a chain
But I prefer not to name it.

I'm good at keeping the door cracked.
I keep the key around my neck,
In case I need to shut them in,

Or shut myself in?

I'm not sure which side of the door
is the inside.
They bang on rough wood.
Scrape with sharp nails.
I haven't named them.
If only they didn't know mine.

I am the girl
in the shadows
and if you had
stopped just for a
second
you'd see me
hiding and rotting away,
starving for my time
to feel the sun
and the breeze caress my skin.
Me,
getting thinner and thinner
everyday
trying to get to the invisible
the no body weight,
feel the heat on my pale
ashen skin.
Feel comfortable
relaxed
walking around.
Just to feel nothing
but beauty
starving in my corner
waiting till it's my turn
to step into
the spot light
to be thin and air like
to feel pure,
but for now
I'll crawl into the corner
of my mind and pretend
I don't see the monsters
of hunger.
I'll crawl
into those satin sheets
and cry of aches and pains
I'll ignore the fact
it's not getting better
but worse.

I apologize(a Rock Ballad)

I toss and I turn
cant sleep at night
because of you

I feel the pain
I've got tears in my eyes
I was so untrue

how could I make you cry
I just wanna die
I was such a fool
how could I break your heart
when you've been the best part
of my life

I apologize,
I was so wrong
I apologize

You gave me your heart
asked me to keep it
safe from the deamons of pain
I closed my  eyes
with a flash my mind
laid it all on the likne'

how could I make you cry
I just wanna die
I was such a fool
how could I break your heart
when you've been the best part
of my life


I apologize,
I was so wrong
I apologize

Gomer LePoet...

I am the girl
in the shadows
and if you had
stopped just for a
second
you'd see me
hiding and rotting away,
starving for my time
to feel the sun
and the breeze caress my skin.
Me,
getting thinner and thinner
everyday
trying to get to the invisible
the no body weight,
feel the heat on my pale
ashen skin.
Feel comfortable
relaxed
walking around.
Just to feel nothing
but beauty
starving in my corner
waiting till it's my turn
to step into
the spot light
to be thin and air like
to feel pure,
but for now
I'll crawl into the corner
of my mind and pretend
I don't see the monsters
of hunger.
I'll crawl
into those satin sheets
and cry of aches and pains
I'll ignore the fact
it's not getting better
but worse.

you can't fight,
what you don't know
, but I know myself
, and I cant win,
Because myself,
knows me , all to well

Heaven sent Deamons surround us all now.

We bow our heads and sing hyms, as he's lowered into the ground.

He was so beautiful, kind, and loving all of his life, but the Angels came and took him to keep by their side.

Now he will forever be but a memory to me, I fear that the truth will soon be clear to see.

About why he had to leave, and why he had to go, leaving us all here, in this icy cold snow.

It's hell here without him, I still cry every night,
He was a child of the galaxies who had to return to gods side.

I am simply a rough caretaker of my
Temple, vessle, canvas, corpse..
Whatever it may be
There is so much more than you can see
Too much if we were able to we'd be overwhelmed
Our eyes would probably burn out of our skulls
Because among the deamons we manage to see
Angels

A fawn pounds
dewy ground
fleeting feet
defeat deamons
made of concrete
and plaster
running faster
escaping gaping
holes in ozone
cell phone rings
birds singing
silence swallows
kin from within
the womb and crust
inside the skin
of earth below
moving slow
tectonic plates
sway
the arms of the moon
cocoon fragile fibers
from trees and leaves
but the sun set again
like last Tuesday
and the winter before
marked with blood
on the door
moving on
shaking sun
the sea will always
reach the shore
and move on

In darkness, sitting here and wonder
What parts of you belong to me
As i am spirit i am thunder
I am not bound by gravity.

I feel illusions grow beside me
Back in the corner of my eye
Its where my darkest fear might find me
Its where my deamons hunt their prey.

This time around, not like the other
I stare my deamons in the face
This time around my soul is calmer
There is no storm, theres only grace

This year, a long and epic journey
Has gave me a new sence of Me
I grew up quickly and eternaly
What ever happens now, im Free

I walk with
s l o w
reluctant
footsteps
         and
every  once    in      a

      while
I try to
             s
         h       a
               k       e

                     o
                     f
                     f

The   DEAMONS
       that cling
       to my ankles.

There once was a boy,
Who fell in love with a girl
An incredble story
Inspiration for all

But you never can tell
What is hiding beneath
Inside each fairytale
A dark truth underneath

So the boy had his deamons
From life lived long ago
He kept them as a secret
So the girl won't find more.

But as time passes by
And the secrets revealed
And their fairytale life
Seam to rumble downhill

In this darkest of times
Almost all hope is lost
This boy suddenly finds
A flame covered in dust

Worming up by the fire
Watching it be restored
Come alive with desire
To swollow the world

Thou unique and refreshing
This bond ran its cours
And with renewd ambition
The boy got on his horse

He came back to his home
Where the girl built their nest
Face to Face with their deamons
They woav a bond built to last.

And somewhere in the desert
The flame dances her dance
Glowing stronger then ever
Breathing in every breath

And althou far away
Never really appart
Since the flame and the boy
Share the same unique heart

Where have i been?

What have i seen? at the outer reaches of my minds universe?

well  , some of it is so dark that it is made up of the stuff of the nightmares we bathe in
sos

save our souls
the calls reached all the way out there but i got lost in my own madness
and that place as wonderful as it is

well i am all of those deamons too
so
i guess now we are even and we've settled our scores
because we die daily in our ritual rebirths

i saw the sand of time fall to pieces
and explode into a million different ways of being
and i saw all the fractures like mirrors in a fairground

i saw myself in all my different guises
as a mistress
as a husband
as a butcher
as a teacher
as a student

and still i have not found the enlightened ground
but i have
i saw it before
in a flash

and the roket fuel for this intergalatic trip i've just returned
is and was and continues to be nothing more than the love of one man

even if he doesn't think so and that i do it allmyself

well i couldn't have done any of it
if i didn't know that i'd see him again sooner rather than later

and lets see what we can acomplish by sunrise then

it's a dare

it's a date

it's a chase

and maybe i'm addicted
but maybe i'm not
and maybe i'm a fool
but maybe i'm not

and maybe as i slip into my new / old skin
i understand for the first time my power

to ****
and to grow

and even if
there is no time
and we float like endless clouds across the sky
i know i still speak with nature
and maybe it's just another day
and maybe tommorow it will all go away

but i
am a dj
and i am a god

and i will not stop

untill this world sees peace
and hears it too

i will play on
untill eternities sunrise sets
no matter what comes my way

so goodnight
and fly well

may all your wishes come true
and may all your hopes feel

What are poets made of?
is it luck and charm?
or dreadful heartache
that causes them self harm?

What are poets made of?
is it love and dance?
or a soul that withers
from one lost love romance?

What are poets made of?
is it tweenkly feeling from inside of chests?
or a hurtful silence that reeks of deamons
those dark,lowlife pests?

what are poets made of
i'll leave that puzzle unsolved
i'll just say it's a feeling
that make their words revolt

Steadily waiting to live my life,
I try to make things right,
the deamons inside my mind strive agianst me,
So as they prevail,
I am kept caged behind hopeless eyes,
buried in hatred and denial to rot,
I have become but a pile of rubble and compost,
trapped in my thoughts,
I'm slowly washed bare from constant **
I'm left with the outcome of my own decisions,
which are those of my last breaths incisions,
never forgetting what brought these worries to my plate
on I wait,
With nothing but time,
to listen to others heart felt rhymes

I noticed something sad in your eyes lately.
A spark lost,
A dream blown away.

I wish I could tell you
"In the end everything works out,"
but honestly
i cant promise you that
i have no idea what you're going through.
And, No,
I would never force you
to change,
     to share
           something you are not ready to share.

Just like
I would never force you to change who you are.
but something else
has forced you to change.

I can't find it in me to judge you
for the sudden cold shoulder
or the cynical attitude.

Specially,
Since i can tell it's a defence
against whatever it is your hiding.

And No
I cant pretend to understand you
We're all different.

I don't know
       what's in your heart
             or what caused it to be there.

Maybe,
Some day,
You'll be able to tell me and say at the end

"But i'm better now.
      I'm over it.
           I'll be okay.
                   I survived.
                       There's better out there."

And really mean it.

I could not leave you,
Not alone,
So i hope that
you don't mind
if I just stay
by your side
in silence.
No matter
How hard it would be
to keep my thoughts to myself.

Maybe,
You just don't want to be reminded
Of your Deamons
or troubles,

Hey.

I'm there.
I'll make you laugh
If i can
         or distract you.

You know I can always distract you
            with my gooffy run on sentences that make no sence at all.
I want to make you laugh.
I want to make you forget.

Maybe,
The pain,
It's too great
And you feel torn up
            inside.

Maybe,
Its too far deep
And too far out
for my reach to
            fix it
                           with a couple of laughs.

I'll still be there for you.

Isn't that why you call me friend.
And I can't promise you that it'll hurt less.
But at least you won't be hurting alone. *

If I forget
to tell you
      how much you mean
           to me

I'll tell you now.

You were there for me.
And
Maybe
You didn't notice
        I was on the border of tears but you made me laugh and smile.*

Now
I want to return the favor
Because you mean that much to me.
I want to be there for you.


Everyone has their own daemons.
I know,
I've had mine.
And
...perhaps...
Yours are greater than mine...
I can't know
Because I would never fully understand.

I am not you.
There is
  only
        one
            you.

You don't deserve
to be hurt
      the way
            you're hurting
                  right now.

All i can offer you is myself.
And even if I did tell you
           all the right words
I still wouldn't be much
because
          it's
                you.

this is
      your
           story,

Tragic or not.

              You decide.
  
All I hope for is that
You realize I'm not
The only one
        out there
             who would do this
                        for you.

There are so many
          out there that
                you've touched heart with
                        because of the way you are.
                                
           Luv ur invinsible

And if some
*******
broke your heart
And you're only feeling sorry for yourself i'll punch you too.

I'll do anything just to make you smile again.
Perhaps its not much but i'll try and just know i'm here.
And in your heart.
No matter how corny it sounds
it's true
you know it.

Others can be good
Let me be this
Pathetic scrawls
In a notebook
Let me play again with my
Deamons
Let them take
Over
Let them swirl in the night
Like my tongue in this stale beer

You haunt me with my own impotence
I spend the days trying hard not to regret, trying to forget
But I am lost and confused. And it's not you.
This is me
Without a lover to have and hold
This is me in a restless frenzy
This is the needle
This is the sound of your laughter drilling at my chest.
This is the hit in a bathroom stall
This is my heart cracked open like a walnut.
It is not you
This is me reaching out
in the dark
For the the green of your eyes
This is my sickness
Love like the hot breath of a beast.
Love like a nasty stickiness on my skin
Love like dancing goblins around a burning stake
Love like a dry heat
The sun torching the sun
The sun torching
Icarus'
Wings

I see the ****** carnage everywhere.
To my left I see my hope dying
To the right I see my deamons thriving.
The mustard gas of devastation blinds all senses
And I am alone in frantic thoughts trying to claw my way out of the dark.
I hear my self-conscious behind me pushing, weakly yelling at me to run, to live, to survive.
I open my burning eyes and stumble through underground mines of confusion and barbed wire able to grab and never let go.
This war inside rages on each day like a never ending **trench warfare

This is how it always begins,
It sneaks up like house flys in the fall.
Waking up in the morning feeling worse then the night before,
Garbage can full of ***** still beside the bed on the floor.
   Runny nose, sneezing, body drenched in sweat and freezing cold,
In the past 12 months ive started to look old.
   This is what i can't stand,
A self inflicted flu that makes me feel like a slave.
Its not that i wasnt warned,
Not as if i didnt understand,
I saw first hand the grip it takes, foolish me was just to naive to listen,
Im diffrent, i have self contorl,
Tables turned im now controled,
Dancing with deamons is always risky,
When you let your guard down the devil creeps in quickly.
   My body no longer belongs to me,
It becomes that of the walking dead.
Back, legs, arms, shoulders all ache.
I feel like ive run a marathon though i barley have energy to move.
My mind wanders to places full of fear,
Arms give away my secrets, showing the scars of my vice.
Everything is freezing and the blankets no longer supply the comfort i need.
   A spoon, a lighter, cotton and water,
relif so close my body starts to shudder.
Im handed the belt, ive long since lernt what to do,
Gotta get the veins up, missing is the last thing someone like me wants a thing like that to happen to.
Muscles all tense from sickness and desperate antipication,
deep breath, needle in, a patient to my own form of cancer awaiting my medication.
Like a child on christmas eve full of excitement for whats to come,
from my veins to the syringe a stream of blood does run.
One final push, now release the belt,
Im finally holding hands with euphoria,
While falling a little farther into hell.

"Went into gods housse saw the light and walked right out, went into gods house, its more fun in the dark house" (singing)

From the age of 6 to 12 she danced your dance and learned your tricks. You see a child does not understand when you steal its innocenes, but after all thats the point to make it her fault and to take away her self worth. I remember waking to see him standing over her, exsposed and when he was done defiling her body he forced her to the grownd and on her knees to pray for her sin, to pray for her sin. Her eyes filled up with hate and tears, but she swallowed and pushed them down, and began to say her prayer.
"Father in heaven help me from tempting men, drive out my deamons and take away my beauty. Father make me clean, father make me clean, make me clean..."

When he left I looked in her eyes to see that she believed it was her fault, that she was some how responceable for the pain he was inflicting. I went to her and scooped her in my arms, held her to my chest. I tried to find the words to say, but there was nothing I could do except hold her in my arms while she cried. Blood stained tears rolled down her cheek to forever stain my heart. She made me promise not to tell, a promise I kept at the age of 12, I never told a soul of what I knew. We talked all night of how some day she would fly away.

A week later she was found, her body ravaged, beaten, smelling of copper and ***. I lost my faith that day. You see, she said that prayer for 6 yrs and beged so many for help that never came, help nver came. A girl of 12 who's only dream was to fly, help never came. So many before and after have danced her dance and help never came, justice never found.

"Went into gods house saw the light and walked right out, went into gods house its more fun in the dark house" (singing)

Im not who you thought i am, im not who you think, even though i look the same, evertime you blink. My name is the same, but ive changed once more, become who you want me to be, but different to the core. You may look twice, and see the same guy, but im truely not the same, what you see is a lie. Im not the person, who you thought you met. im someone completely differnent, and its something i regret. I wish that i could show you, who i truely am, but the really me isnt pretty, and isnt worth a dam. My true colors always fade, compared to yours that shine, and i feel myself not worthy, with every passing line. I dont deserve to have you, now or at any time, im sick to my stomach, as i continue with these rhymes. Becasue i know ill never tell you, and ill never let you in, ill keep my real self locked up, hiding behind a fake grin. Ill keep up this grin, and keep up my lie, ill pretend to be perfect, untill the day that i die. So what do i do, and how can i be free. I cant be honest with you, i cant show you the real me. The real me would loose you, and thats hard for me to bare. But keeping you is selfish, especially when you're unaware. Unaware of the truth, and unaware of the true me. Unaware of my true colors, the ones you will never see. So do i pretend to be perfect, or do i give myself up today? Do i risk making you hate me, and having you go away? This is eating away at my soul, and will be keeping me up all night. As i battle with my deamons, and contumplate what is wrong and right.

A runner off before the gun , my hands tied behind my back
i made my way into the dark crevices of myself.

I turned my back on the outer world not to emerge until
i’d seen what was lurking in the shadows.
Demons. I walked into their ranks and told them to tear me apart…. I watched it all… My blood spilt into the torrents of rain….Once they were done…. all that was left was my eyes.


They are blacker than before, but with a hint of starshine in them now…
Whilst the deamons went to wash themselves and get a pint before closing time…..
I took alook around this new landscape.
The signs i was always looking for were all around me…. in every single thing i happened to see….and every unexpected turn i took looking around that town led me to new and brighter , bolder and almost iridecent signs untill the signs became me and i became the signs.

That’s when i began to dance , and dance i did. I danced with the devil and and fox trotted with the angels, we spun on the wheels of great time leaving all the business of past , present , future behind…. we existed only in the swish of a skirt or the click of the heel…..we were pirates of the cosmic tides , we knew only the ocean , never to set foot on land again. Unless, it was the island. The island where seven days a week i could just bask in the sunshine that is your smile, where only the surreal existed.

Deep inside of me is a voice. Normally i can drown out it's constant talking. Lately the voice has been getting louder and louder. I feel as if soon that voice will spring free. My soul will scream to the sky and let loose the deamons bellowing below. Desire will consume me; my old friend has forced his hand.

I paint my walls because I think maybe it's the blue that I grew up with that is making my feel so awful
I cover the walls with pictures of better times and brighter smiles because I think that maybe if I put up memories of happy times that maybe I will forget all the blood these walls have seen
I hang things up and cover the celing in stars so I will stop crying myself to sleep every night
I put up pictures of you to remember that it will be okay
I put up fairy light to hide the scars on my leg
I open the window to air out my sorrows and release my deamons
But it doesn't work
Nothing does

I scurried from my moss covered resting place
I was in a panic I needed to see the deamons face
So I would know what was giving chase

I looked deep within the dying fire, "show me goddess Theia the one that follows"
At first the vision was very shallow, so hollow
But then I seen it, and it filled me with sorrow

Because all I could see was the Cerberus
It had the scent of me, the sorcerers
Quickly trying to decide our best courses

It's blue-black body glimmering in the moonlight
Huge muscles gliding effortlessly, such a beautiful scary sight
It's three huge heads, teeth snapping, a true drooling fright

Leaving a trail like a scent, wafting in the air, was my spells
It was time to make haste this much I could tell
We will both be dead and torn savagely apart if I fail

With the snap of my fingers the leaves dew fell on the knight
Waking him with a sudden fright
"We must leave here you're to weak to fight"

Shaking the sleep from he's head
A quick look at me, he could see my dread
He silently stomped out the fire, no words from his lips said

He grabbed the reins of the evil ones steed
He gracefully lept on and pulling me on, off at top speed
But that devilish horse ran towards the evil one, He would not heed

I must think quick, this horse I must enchant
Into it's mind a seed I must plant
So I start a simple powerful chant

"Demon steed
Feel the need
To out run, succeed
From the hellish hound top speed"

With my constant chant, the demon spun horse turned around
And just in time, I seen the heads of the wicked hound
Along with the chant I whisper a prayer to Moirai to change our fate, we had been found

What quality would guarantee your smile?
Admit such symmetry of beauty!
What God upon his knees
Would not be broken,
When a bite,
More than a kiss?

So what if I dance with deamons?
It is my demonstration of love,
In a world that pities death,
There's not muchleft at all.

If you have gone forever,
Well unto a longer, higher brow,
Then despite my cravings
I must dance with you no more.

And yet, I still crave you
From the carvings of the cave,
Where you left all imagination
Lost and wand'ring
Without answer,
In the hobo of the Soul.

Are you kinder than a jealous God?
Lost home and Goverment?
What God upon His knees,
When he is lost to you?

Dear Max,
I know I should have wrote this letter to you a long time ago, right after the accident. I'm sorry that I couldnt. I tried once and after I wrote dear Max I broke down and went into a panic attack. I miss you so much and I haven't went a day without thinking about you. Everytime I do think about you sorrow and regret flood my mind. You used to be my bestfriend. Everyday I would come home with the "magical adventures of Max and Mo" or at least that's what my mom called them. You were an amazing person and you always made my day better. I remember you telling me stories of how you were gonna go to the NFL and be the greatest football player there ever was. Now you'll never get the chance...I hope you're up there playing football with Jesus. I also remember on the last day of 8th grade you nearly tackled Tyler because you wanted to get to me before he did so you could sign my binder. I remember being over at Faiths and we would talk about you for hours. She had the biggest crush on you. Every single word we had to say about you was positive as could be. I never told you or Faith that u had just as big of a crush on you. I remember the day you asked Faith to the 8th grade prom. She was so excited that she could have jumped out of her own skin. I secretly was jealous but I never let a drop of that jealousy show to either of you. Then her mom and grandma found out you wanted to take her to prom. They said no. That they weren't gonna let their white daughter go to prom with some black kid, that it would make her look like a ****. I was secretly thrilled that yall weren't going together but I knew it broke her heart. After 8th grade I left school and you were one of the many people I casted out of my life as if they were deamons. When I came back to school in 10th grade you were one of the ones I longed to reconnect with, but I didnt. You had your group and I had mine and they mix as well as oil and water do. I remember one day in the hall you smiled at me and said hey. I looked down and and ignored you because I figured I had to stay to my group. Why did I have to be such a *****? You did that a few times and I never acknowledged your existence...funny now that your existence is gone I'm acknowledging it more than ever. I wanted to say hey. I wanted to reconnect with you but I didn't. I never took up the motivation to apologize for being a ***** and say hey to the boy I used to call my bestfriend. I saw the news of your death on facebook along with another boys named Brad. I prayed it was some sort of sick joke. It's been a little over 2 months since that day and I just now brought up the strength within me to write this letter. I heard of what you did for my new bestfriend mikhala that one day at a football game. Thank you for saving her then because if not for that girl I wouldn't have lived to see your death. I love you max and I miss you more than you could ever believe. Thank you max. I'm sorry. I'll see you up in Heaven one day.

I scurried from my moss covered resting place
I was in a panic I needed to see the deamons face
So I would know what was giving chase

I looked deep within the dying fire, "show me goddess Theia the one that follows"
At first the vision was very shallow, so hollow
But then I seen it, and it filled me with sorrow

Because all I could see was the Cerberus
It had the scent of me, the sorcerers
Quickly trying to decide our best courses

It's blue-black body glimmering in the moonlight
Huge muscles gliding effortlessly, such a beautiful scary sight
It's three huge heads, teeth snapping, a true drooling fright

Leaving a trail like a scent, wafting in the air, was my spells
It was time to make haste this much I could tell
We will both be dead and torn savagely apart if I fail

With the snap of my fingers the leaves dew fell on the knight
Waking him with a sudden fright
"We must leave here you're to weak to fight"

Shaking the sleep from he's head
A quick look at me, he could see my dread
He silently stomped out the fire, no words from his lips said

He grabbed the reins of the evil ones steed
He gracefully lept on and pulling me on, off at top speed
But that devilish horse ran towards the evil one, He would not heed

I must think quick, this horse I must enchant
Into it's mind a seed I must plant
So I start a simple powerful chant

"Demon steed
Feel the need
To out run, succeed
From the hellish hound top speed"

With my constant chant, the demon spun horse turned around
And just in time, I seen the heads of the wicked hound
Along with the chant I whisper a prayer to Moirai to change our fate, we had been found

So many year later
and I stll keep trying
to wake up just one night
without all this crying

More dreams of us
laying in bed
Smelling your hair
Stroking your head

Why did God grant me
a second chance with you
Couldnt he have waited
Till I was a worthy boo

Maybe he was just trying
To show me a better way
Yet the deamons in me
threw it all away.

Those deamons feel gone
My head again is clear
Yet I just lack direction
Because i cant hold you near

I thought being with you
sounded so neat
Its all i ever wanted
to make life complete

So i crawl back under
these tear soaked covers
Having to hold on to the dream
That we will once again be lovers.

But that is so selfish of me
This i do know
Please God make it happen
Or help me let go.

Everyone says you must first
love yourself to be filled with glee
But what if all i ever really needed
was to be with my Marilee

I know how to make you leave
But how do i let you go
I will always be haunted
for turning our sunshine into snow

My fear inside...
Rips through my flesh.
It's brings my deamons right out of my chest.
I can hardly breath.
My hands start to shake.
I wish I could get out of theses chains.
My hearts beating fast.
I have no escape.
Please God ,someone help me.
I can feel it, this dismay.
I'm up on stage.
Everyone can see me.
I can hear them,
they are all talking trash.
Makeing me feel like a discarded ash.