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"calendars" poems
Oh how I hate this time of year, with the stupid songs and holiday cheer... Annoying bell ringers outside the store, and the tacky wreaths hanging on the door. Cardboard calendars filled with waxy treats, ice and snow making death traps of streets. Frazzled parents spending more then they should on entitled kids who are far from good. Fake smiles & wishes in the "spirit" of it all, the empty shelves- the crowds at the mall. The hour long line to see Santa the phony who falsely promises an x-box or a pony. Having to gather with family who annoy, gifting another cheap Chinese-made toy. Fire hazards strung with tinsel and lights, tensions leading to fun Christmas fights! Secret Santas- holiday parties for work- ugly sweaters making you look like a **** The stress of having an enormous list and a tiny budget just makes me ****** No, nothing seems jolly or merry or bright... Oh how I can't wait till post-Christmas night!
0
Dec 7, 2017
Dec 7, 2017 at 9:24 PM UTC
F-Mas
I didn't even ask To be your sun Or your moon. All I wanted was to be Your Sunday afternoons. How many empty calendars spaces I wasted, Waiting for you.
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Jun 10, 2017
Jun 10, 2017 at 4:10 AM UTC
Sunday
A part of me lives miles and minutes and moments away in an indefinite, dreamy place where clocks are not my enemy and I associate the word “distance" with travel, not longing My heart has sailed across the Atlantic, moved eagerly through the Indian Ocean, navigated using an atlas inked with butterflies and stars that gleam ardently (just as your rosemary eyes do, every once in a blue moon, when you’re able to sew together the disarrayed thoughts that dwell in your messy head) You are so, so far away However, if I avoid calendars and geography, it feels like you’re right here beside me In the afternoon, when the sun shines through my bedroom window and paints the world map on my wall with light, I shut my eyelids and run my thumb along the string that stretches across the parchment, connecting me to you I pretend that when I open my eyes, you will be here and that my aching fingers that are so desperately grasping the paper will be intertwined with yours
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Aug 3, 2013
Aug 3, 2013 at 1:35 PM UTC
Australia
i don't want to have these bipolar conversations where i threaten, and apologize, and demand, and apologize again i don't mean to take you through the ringer to make you see violence and mood swings i don't mean to scare you when i don't take my medicine i don't mean to scare you when i cry for hours i don't mean to scare you when i scream and punch things i never meant to do those things like keying your car i never meant to drop everything and go across multiple state lines with no plans at all i never meant to hurt myself until my arms were coated in scars for all of the times i self-medicated poked myself with needles and drank away my pain, i'm sorry i shouldn't have taken so many xanax you're right i was wrong again i never meant for you to be my caretaker i hate those words caretaker i should be able to take care of myself i'm sorry i am not managing this illness i am very very ill i'm sorry for the times i couldn't get out of bed couldn't eat, couldn't move couldn't go to work i'm sorry for the times i made tons of post-it notes filled journals with ideas bought calendars and organization tools i'm sorry for getting your hopes up i really thought i could do it this time i'm sorry for my diagnosis i'm sorry i didn't understand how serious this is i didn't ask to be bipolar i didn't ask to be born i make cases for myself in my head but they're all filed as crazy i'm sorry i was delusional paranoid and afraid i'm sorry for the drug binges i'm sorry for melting fading burning and still coming back alive these low lows and high highs you've been through the ringer when you're only supposed to be support, a resource of compassion... you had to be a caretaker you didn't ask for this and neither did i i sometimes questioned if it was harder on you to live with someone with bipolar disorder than it was for me to live with bipolar disorder you wanted to save me but you realized that i can only save myself now i'm drowning and my lifeline is gone i'm trying to learn to swim i just hope i do it before i sink i'm sorry for all of the ****** poetry i made you read i'm sorry
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Dec 25, 2016
Dec 25, 2016 at 1:40 AM UTC
Bipolar Disorder
i don't want to have these bipolar conversations where i threaten, and apologize, and demand, and apologize again i don't mean to take you through the ringer to make you see violence and mood swings i don't mean to scare you when i don't take my medicine i don't mean to scare you when i cry for hours i don't mean to scare you when i scream and punch things i never meant to do those things like keying your car i never meant to drop everything and go across multiple state lines with no plans at all i never meant to hurt myself until my arms were coated in scars for all of the times i self-medicated poked myself with needles and drank away my pain, i'm sorry i shouldn't have taken so many xanax you're right i was wrong again i never meant for you to be my caretaker i hate those words caretaker i should be able to take care of myself i'm sorry i am not managing this illness i am very very ill i'm sorry for the times i couldn't get out of bed couldn't eat, couldn't move couldn't go to work i'm sorry for the times i made tons of post-it notes filled journals with ideas bought calendars and organization tools i'm sorry for getting your hopes up i really thought i could do it this time i'm sorry for my diagnosis i'm sorry i didn't understand how serious this is i didn't ask to be bipolar i didn't ask to be born i make cases for myself in my head but they're all filed as crazy i'm sorry i was delusional paranoid and afraid i'm sorry for the drug binges i'm sorry for melting fading burning and still coming back alive these low lows and high highs you've been through the ringer when you're only supposed to be support, a resource of compassion... you had to be a caretaker you didn't ask for this and neither did i i sometimes questioned if it was harder on you to live with someone with bipolar disorder than it was for me to live with bipolar disorder you wanted to save me but you realized that i can only save myself now i'm drowning and my lifeline is gone i'm trying to learn to swim i just hope i do it before i sink i'm sorry for all of the ****** poetry i made you read i'm sorry
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105
Lost in the thoughts of ancient realm Many thousands of years back Nothing then has stayed the same Such civilization, understanding we lack Every ethnicity group had a tale to tell From every little corner of this mother earth How we worked and walked, then we fell Cycles of life flourished again with birth Each era had it's own vulnerable states And each state had it's own Queens and Kings The then ancient calendars with marked dates Of unplanned wars in those dates boldly clings The cities that have sunk or drowned deep Took away with them, their entire civility In the great oceans graveyard, now it sleeps To be discovered by people with extreme ability The now generation, is very inquisitive On every find of any ancient matters around But the finds become government subjective Mostly those found from deep underground... ©sim
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Aug 13, 2017
Aug 13, 2017 at 10:55 PM UTC
Ancient Civilization
Unwillingly Miranda wakes, Feels the sun with terror, One unwilling step she takes, Shuddering to the mirror. Miranda in Miranda's sight Is old and gray and ***** Twenty-nine she was last night; This morning she is thirty. Shining like the morning star, Like the twilight shining, Haunted by a calendar, Miranda is a-pining. Silly girl, silver girl, Draw the mirror toward you; Time who makes the years to whirl Adorned as he adored you. Time is timelessness for you; Calendars for the human; What's a year, or thirty, to Loveliness made woman? Oh, Night will not see thirty again, Yet soft her wing, Miranda; Pick up your glass and tell me, then-- How old is Spring, Miranda?
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4.1k
A Lady Who Thinks She Is Thirty
My brother finds comfort in calculators. He assigns every number a name. He believes that they add up to certainty and he is upset with fractions that remain. So I examine these maps with my eyes, and at best I can trace with my finger all the way to that town where she went in an attempt to forget the cracks and the lines of my face. So Jetsabel cleaned out the closets for me and she piled up the boxes in the hall. Tomorrow when she wakes she'll come take them away and they'll never haunt me again; but it is still hard to sleep with the moon's heavy beams. I run barefoot to the backyard, just to freeze in my place by the rod iron gate; too afraid and ashamed to advance. Today I walked through the snow and found a field of headstones. They were in rows like the weeks in calendars where each box is a day you can never escape without pills or the poison of sleep. These memories leak from these faucets that weep. Hot tears splash against the shower floor and I stand in the steam as if inside a dream-- I can see her again by the sink. From behind the bathroom mirror she pulls a thermometer and places it under my tongue. She said, "You're as pale as a sheet. You look awful, my sweet. Lay down and wait for the sun." So I stayed in that bed. She brought me water and read each night from a volume out loud. She whispered soft poetry. Her favorite was Anabel Lee. And those words, like these drugs, comforted me. But the clocks kept waving their hands and she couldn't understand why temperature would never drop. And though she promised with tears that she would always be here, I heard truth like the sounding sea. I said, "My Arienette, how soon you forget this house will never be your home, and you will leave in the fall when the trees become graves and their colors lie dead in the grass." Gold and green torture me like the lies I believe too easily. Oh my Jetsabel, look at this hell that I have made. If you want, maybe drop by sometime-- put some flowers on my grave so that I will look beautiful in my silent sepulchre. Yeah, that's fine. Throw some dresses away. I don't want anything of hers. For the moon never shines and the stars never rise without bringing me dreams, haunted by the ghosts of those bright eyes.
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Sep 18, 2012
Sep 18, 2012 at 5:03 PM UTC
Jetsabel Removes the Undesireables
My brother finds comfort in calculators. He assigns every number a name. He believes that they add up to certainty and he is upset with fractions that remain. So I examine these maps with my eyes, and at best I can trace with my finger all the way to that town where she went in an attempt to forget the cracks and the lines of my face. So Jetsabel cleaned out the closets for me and she piled up the boxes in the hall. Tomorrow when she wakes she'll come take them away and they'll never haunt me again; but it is still hard to sleep with the moon's heavy beams. I run barefoot to the backyard, just to freeze in my place by the rod iron gate; too afraid and ashamed to advance. Today I walked through the snow and found a field of headstones. They were in rows like the weeks in calendars where each box is a day you can never escape without pills or the poison of sleep. These memories leak from these faucets that weep. Hot tears splash against the shower floor and I stand in the steam as if inside a dream-- I can see her again by the sink. From behind the bathroom mirror she pulls a thermometer and places it under my tongue. She said, "You're as pale as a sheet. You look awful, my sweet. Lay down and wait for the sun." So I stayed in that bed. She brought me water and read each night from a volume out loud. She whispered soft poetry. Her favorite was Anabel Lee. And those words, like these drugs, comforted me. But the clocks kept waving their hands and she couldn't understand why temperature would never drop. And though she promised with tears that she would always be here, I heard truth like the sounding sea. I said, "My Arienette, how soon you forget this house will never be your home, and you will leave in the fall when the trees become graves and their colors lie dead in the grass." Gold and green torture me like the lies I believe too easily. Oh my Jetsabel, look at this hell that I have made. If you want, maybe drop by sometime-- put some flowers on my grave so that I will look beautiful in my silent sepulchre. Yeah, that's fine. Throw some dresses away. I don't want anything of hers. For the moon never shines and the stars never rise without bringing me dreams, haunted by the ghosts of those bright eyes.
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34
Someone’s got it in for me Cause I’m not symmetrical Tried to tell them what I think Cause what it is I’ll never know Spotlight makes my skin crawl Just like their flawless tactics Never meant anyone harm, but Chemicals unwrapped my lips of plastic What a strange sensation When the devil really makes you do it What am I paying for I swear, the devil made me do it Someone’s got it in for me Cause I’m not balanced Tried to tell them what I think Amid shredded calendars Wish my heart had a radar So maybe I could make them see If faced with such evidence What would you think if you were me To top off the weird union Was a glimpse of a picture You bet your life he showed you off As a conquered freak in the tincture Spent years crawling under rocks Paranoid and spastic Then one horrid night Chemicals unwrapped my lips of plastic What a strange sensation When the devil really makes you do it What am I paying for I swear, the devil made me do it I went out of my body Then I went out of my mind
0
Sep 19, 2012
Sep 19, 2012 at 4:50 PM UTC
Surgery
Plans made and calendars marked Two days away from expectation Quickened heartbeats at the thought Eyes close and dreams dance Arrangements completed early Nothing left but to wait A nonchalant mention of something to do A promise to another Red circle reminders overlooked Our day forgotten as is our night Sincere apologies, no other thought Eyes close and heart cries
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Jul 15, 2010
Jul 15, 2010 at 6:20 AM UTC
Overlooked
Already the month of August 2018, May never become a je June'm (Forget-me-not) time of year, especially for nouveau homeless and, penniless residents, (now more like worrier), who reside in the (burnt to a crisp) Golden State where, towering uncontrollable wild fire infernos veer really did tax mental, physical, and spiritual oye vey iz mare (to the bajillion power of Google Plex) their heirlooms, mementos, and trappings of das kapital lifestyle went up in smoke, which tragedy didst seer the eyes (yes, iz traumatic, but also the air) looms with toxic particulate matter, though concerned former propertied owners (now ashen faced) as utter grief doth rear a scorched (bumping) ugly head, yet the onset of Autumn, (and the main purport of this poem) (oh my dog, that twill be in approximately three weeks, when Eastern Orthodox Church denotes beginning of ecclesiastical annum mull house for straight or queer (these times opening doors to LGBT, or GLBT (an initialism that stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender), nonetheless history replete with app pear chock full of factoids such as: September (Latin septem, "seven") with near exhaustive steeped in pagan glory of antiquity. Ancient Roman observances for September include: Ludi Romani, originally celebrated September 12 - September 14, later extended to September 5 to September 19. In 1st century BC, an extra day added in honor of deified Julius Caesar on 4 September. Epulum Jovis held: September 13. Ludi Triumphales held: September 18–22. Septimontium celebrated September, and December 11 on later calendars September called "harvest month" in Charlemagne's calendar. September corresponds partly to Fructidor and partly to Vendémiaire of first French republic. On Usenet, September 1993 (Eternal September) never ended. September called Herbstmonat, harvest month, in Switzerland. The Anglo-Saxons called month Gerstmonath, barley month, that crop then usually harvested.
0
Aug 31, 2018
Aug 31, 2018 at 5:00 PM UTC
September Daze Haint Sapphire Away
Already the month of August 2018, May never become a je June'm (Forget-me-not) time of year, especially for nouveau homeless and, penniless residents, (now more like worrier), who reside in the (burnt to a crisp) Golden State where, towering uncontrollable wild fire infernos veer really did tax mental, physical, and spiritual oye vey iz mare (to the bajillion power of Google Plex) their heirlooms, mementos, and trappings of das kapital lifestyle went up in smoke, which tragedy didst seer the eyes (yes, iz traumatic, but also the air) looms with toxic particulate matter, though concerned former propertied owners (now ashen faced) as utter grief doth rear a scorched (bumping) ugly head, yet the onset of Autumn, (and the main purport of this poem) (oh my dog, that twill be in approximately three weeks, when Eastern Orthodox Church denotes beginning of ecclesiastical annum mull house for straight or queer (these times opening doors to LGBT, or GLBT (an initialism that stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgender), nonetheless history replete with app pear chock full of factoids such as: September (Latin septem, "seven") with near exhaustive steeped in pagan glory of antiquity. Ancient Roman observances for September include: Ludi Romani, originally celebrated September 12 - September 14, later extended to September 5 to September 19. In 1st century BC, an extra day added in honor of deified Julius Caesar on 4 September. Epulum Jovis held: September 13. Ludi Triumphales held: September 18–22. Septimontium celebrated September, and December 11 on later calendars September called "harvest month" in Charlemagne's calendar. September corresponds partly to Fructidor and partly to Vendémiaire of first French republic. On Usenet, September 1993 (Eternal September) never ended. September called Herbstmonat, harvest month, in Switzerland. The Anglo-Saxons called month Gerstmonath, barley month, that crop then usually harvested.
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81
tattoo ourselves in electric ink memorializing calendars, diaries of observantional digits, black on white, no gray, birthdays, anniversaries, dates of passing, starting lines, occasional achievements, departure dates, even glaring failures, sundial mundane records of diurnal habitude…even defining self by, bye, byte marks upon flesh, upon our calendar *not my first trip-tracking, he ruefully rues, wry smiling, many voyages of indeterminate measuring length, leaving litter of arrays of hopeful estimations & destinations, each unequal, any or all possibilities, each day notated, without critique or commentary, the numbers are the gaols (jails) of goals, target, indeterminate determination, terrific, horrific, introspections, inverse images resolve, resolute* a year ago, +/- a few days,, new travelogue commenced, notated but not annotated, just  numerical truths, (sans comments for the divine nature of numbers don’t lie) and today my calculator app informs, that I am now 19.4 % lesser, but that clarifies less than expected naturally this provokes a natty, spirited, self-inquiry, lessened, lessor, for better or for worse? have the physical alterations accompanying this reduction mean exactly what, if, it should be, a greater lesser? here is the hard part. your have always been a mirror~poet, laughing, bemoaning the unvarnished, unshaven AM sightings of a human perpetual dissatisfied, the external never denying the interior “less~than,” a J Peterman catalogue of weathered ****** expressions, counter-parted by multiple Venn diagram intersections, of experiential labeled bits & pieces of emotional empirical less than good, not even close to perfect, so now that I am *gaunt, spare, lean, grayed, narrower, again ruefully rue, the even more visible truth reflection eye~hidden:* I, am the sum of the weight of my history, my deeds, my disbeliefs, murderous deeds, weak choices and that hasn’t changed nary an ounce, no matter many times examined, indeed I am forever a lesser man, there, internal infernal too…
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Apr 9, 2023
Apr 9, 2023 at 2:12 PM UTC
19.4% lesser
tattoo ourselves in electric ink memorializing calendars, diaries of observantional digits, black on white, no gray, birthdays, anniversaries, dates of passing, starting lines, occasional achievements, departure dates, even glaring failures, sundial mundane records of diurnal habitude…even defining self by, bye, byte marks upon flesh, upon our calendar *not my first trip-tracking, he ruefully rues, wry smiling, many voyages of indeterminate measuring length, leaving litter of arrays of hopeful estimations & destinations, each unequal, any or all possibilities, each day notated, without critique or commentary, the numbers are the gaols (jails) of goals, target, indeterminate determination, terrific, horrific, introspections, inverse images resolve, resolute* a year ago, +/- a few days,, new travelogue commenced, notated but not annotated, just  numerical truths, (sans comments for the divine nature of numbers don’t lie) and today my calculator app informs, that I am now 19.4 % lesser, but that clarifies less than expected naturally this provokes a natty, spirited, self-inquiry, lessened, lessor, for better or for worse? have the physical alterations accompanying this reduction mean exactly what, if, it should be, a greater lesser? here is the hard part. your have always been a mirror~poet, laughing, bemoaning the unvarnished, unshaven AM sightings of a human perpetual dissatisfied, the external never denying the interior “less~than,” a J Peterman catalogue of weathered ****** expressions, counter-parted by multiple Venn diagram intersections, of experiential labeled bits & pieces of emotional empirical less than good, not even close to perfect, so now that I am *gaunt, spare, lean, grayed, narrower, again ruefully rue, the even more visible truth reflection eye~hidden:* I, am the sum of the weight of my history, my deeds, my disbeliefs, murderous deeds, weak choices and that hasn’t changed nary an ounce, no matter many times examined, indeed I am forever a lesser man, there, internal infernal too…
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43
I see you everywhere but beside me, the one place that I need you the most. I don’t know if you’ve just felt like hiding, but it feels like I’m being stalked by a ghost. I think of my life consisting of just time biding, with parasitic emptiness and I’m the host. This hits me like waves I am meant to be riding, and it follows me persistently from coast to coast. The grass didn’t seem so green back then I guess all that constant rain did pay off, ‘cause now this little future’s just a casual friend, and my god looking back the past was soft. It’s not like I always want to be drenched in sorrow, I find I look much better in brown, blue or grey, you know I’d trade in every tomorrow for just one more yesterday. I hear every voice but yours in my ears, the deafening noise has made me forget that sound, since I’ve heard that sweet melody it’s been too many years, and every other pitch makes my static brain pound. I’m always biting my lip but now I’m fighting tears, I shake my head side to side and around. I’m quickly losing stamina from battling my fears and now looking forward to my hole in the ground. The skies never seemed clear and blue back then, it turns out that I was the creator of each cloud, I’m hoarding past calendars so that I can pretend that I’m back in time and making everyone else proud. If you’ve got a hour or two that I can borrow, I swear I’m good for it and whatever price; I’ll pay, ‘cause you know I’d trade in every tomorrow for just one more yesterday. I feel you all over, laced in everything, if it wasn’t such a curse, it’d be a gift. You’re the peace in winter and the hope in spring, you’re the summer sun and autumn’s winds so swift. I’m relieving every memory, looking for a place to cling, I remember all of the details but the clarity is now adrift. Side to side, back and forth, I constantly swing, it pulls and drags me down but it can also give the highest lift. The sun never seemed to shine right back then, but maybe I was just too busy looking for artificial light. I was never one for second looks but I should’ve searched again, because everything I wanted was already in my sight. So I plant a seed hoping it will eventually grow and I sculpt all I wish for with clay, ‘cause you know I’d trade in every tomorrow for just one more yesterday.
0
Oct 14, 2018
Oct 14, 2018 at 1:58 PM UTC
Yesterday
I see you everywhere but beside me, the one place that I need you the most. I don’t know if you’ve just felt like hiding, but it feels like I’m being stalked by a ghost. I think of my life consisting of just time biding, with parasitic emptiness and I’m the host. This hits me like waves I am meant to be riding, and it follows me persistently from coast to coast. The grass didn’t seem so green back then I guess all that constant rain did pay off, ‘cause now this little future’s just a casual friend, and my god looking back the past was soft. It’s not like I always want to be drenched in sorrow, I find I look much better in brown, blue or grey, you know I’d trade in every tomorrow for just one more yesterday. I hear every voice but yours in my ears, the deafening noise has made me forget that sound, since I’ve heard that sweet melody it’s been too many years, and every other pitch makes my static brain pound. I’m always biting my lip but now I’m fighting tears, I shake my head side to side and around. I’m quickly losing stamina from battling my fears and now looking forward to my hole in the ground. The skies never seemed clear and blue back then, it turns out that I was the creator of each cloud, I’m hoarding past calendars so that I can pretend that I’m back in time and making everyone else proud. If you’ve got a hour or two that I can borrow, I swear I’m good for it and whatever price; I’ll pay, ‘cause you know I’d trade in every tomorrow for just one more yesterday. I feel you all over, laced in everything, if it wasn’t such a curse, it’d be a gift. You’re the peace in winter and the hope in spring, you’re the summer sun and autumn’s winds so swift. I’m relieving every memory, looking for a place to cling, I remember all of the details but the clarity is now adrift. Side to side, back and forth, I constantly swing, it pulls and drags me down but it can also give the highest lift. The sun never seemed to shine right back then, but maybe I was just too busy looking for artificial light. I was never one for second looks but I should’ve searched again, because everything I wanted was already in my sight. So I plant a seed hoping it will eventually grow and I sculpt all I wish for with clay, ‘cause you know I’d trade in every tomorrow for just one more yesterday.
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48
I know why Vincent Van Gogh Cut off his own ear We are a mad bunch, you see Poets and painters and playwrights On the prowl for something to jump start our perpetual yearnings, our keen senses and cravings, on the quest for so much more than the status quo, of merely checking off just another day from our calendars We are those kinds of people Who wish to reinvent the world Often cursing at our failings and insecurites While obsessively working to shape and sculpt our view of this planet To fit our own brand of imagination To satisfy our starving hopes and desperate dreams To foster vivid visions from the views that are vague   And to wipe away The nightmares of old that cry out in us We believe in make-believe We who are misfits to "normalcy" We rarely seem to fit into The "real world" Yet we know that this world is Pure insanity Stark madness Sheer perplexion Yet we are the ones suffering for the sake of our art Often misunderstood Many times branded as "weirdos" I can understand the pain Of not getting my art right Of not seeing its worth Because someone sniffed at it Or scoffed at it Or blindly passed it by Many times, we want to break through And join the world of our works of art But we can't We're stuck in the middle of its beauty And nothingness Yes I know why Vincent Van Gogh cut off his own ear
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Sep 29, 2011
Sep 29, 2011 at 8:04 PM UTC
I Know Why Vincent Van Gogh Cut Off His Own Ear
a calendar lies in the corner of a table, forgotten, two weeks into the New Year, its simple pencil sketch at the top showing at an angle. late at night a noise can be heard from that corner, the sound of protesting sobs, and a little voice can be picked out here and there, "all the other calendars had pretty scenes of mountain lakes and forest glades. now they are all gone. someone has taken them to hang on their wall. and I am still lying here. nobody wants me. my big, clumsy letters are clear and dark. a child could read them. and my large, awkward boxes have plenty of writing space. I am the best calendar around and could help someone greatly in their struggle to remember their place in time, if only someone would stay long enough to see what I am and not what I look."
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Oct 14, 2016
Oct 14, 2016 at 4:36 PM UTC
LAMENT OF AN UNATTRACTIVE CALENDAR AT THE NEW YEAR
an ample empty Sunday nothing on the agenda, the calendars cease their chirping, it's a kinda free rarely heard maybe will go see a movie, walk alongside the East River currents, rushing somewhere we don't have to be, maybe we will practice rolling on the floor, visiting and winding up the grandkids, then escaping/leaving them with parents, crazy high and wet & dry maybe I'll cancel some credit cards, crack open the briefcase of deferred questions, have pizza for breakfast, write half a dozen baker's poems, finish some more of Dr. Zhivago, that I started several years ago, maybe, I'll keep her tied up in our bed, releasing her when she releases me   because I released her first yup, an empty day ahead full of the oscillating, a true east/west directionless vibrating range of ample possibilities
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Mar 29, 2015
Mar 29, 2015 at 8:28 AM UTC
an ample empty Sunday
So gradual in those summers was the going of the age it seemed that the long days setting out when the stars faded over the mountains were not leaving us even as the birds woke in full song and the dew glittered in the webs it appeared then that the clear morning opening into the sky was something of ours to have and keep and that the brightness we could not touch and the air we could not hold had come to be there all the time for us and would never be gone and that the axle we did not hear was not turning when the ancient car coughed in the roofer's barn and rolled out echoing first thing into the lane and the only tractor in the village rumbled and went into its rusty mutterings before heading out of its lean-to into the cow pats and the shadow of the lime tree we did not see that the swallows flashing and the sparks of their cries were fast in the spokes of the hollow wheel that was turning and turning us taking us all away as one with the tires of the baker's van where the wheels of bread were stacked like days in calendars coming and going all at once we did not hear the rim of the hour in whatever we were saying or touching all day we thought it was there and would stay it was only as the afternoon lengthened on its dial and the shadows reached out farther and farther from everything that we began to listen for what might be escaping us and we heard high voices ringing the village at sundown calling their animals home and then the bats after dark and the silence on its road
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2.9k
The Speed Of Light
So gradual in those summers was the going of the age it seemed that the long days setting out when the stars faded over the mountains were not leaving us even as the birds woke in full song and the dew glittered in the webs it appeared then that the clear morning opening into the sky was something of ours to have and keep and that the brightness we could not touch and the air we could not hold had come to be there all the time for us and would never be gone and that the axle we did not hear was not turning when the ancient car coughed in the roofer's barn and rolled out echoing first thing into the lane and the only tractor in the village rumbled and went into its rusty mutterings before heading out of its lean-to into the cow pats and the shadow of the lime tree we did not see that the swallows flashing and the sparks of their cries were fast in the spokes of the hollow wheel that was turning and turning us taking us all away as one with the tires of the baker's van where the wheels of bread were stacked like days in calendars coming and going all at once we did not hear the rim of the hour in whatever we were saying or touching all day we thought it was there and would stay it was only as the afternoon lengthened on its dial and the shadows reached out farther and farther from everything that we began to listen for what might be escaping us and we heard high voices ringing the village at sundown calling their animals home and then the bats after dark and the silence on its road
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29
I wouldn't call them scars. Our bodies are ancient calendars marked with times and places. Tonight, you are not real. You are the desperate ocean lapping at the shoreline trying to take back the secrets in the bottles cast off by lovers, and children, letters to the dead sometimes. They are not your secrets, but they came to you first. They are full of feelings you have once felt or will feel. The bottles glisten in the sand mockingly, beautifully, painfully, like window shopping for jewelry you'll never be able to afford. You never expect to want the glass back after it has been pulled out of you. But the stories inside are your stories now too. You cast them off in the same manner hoping somone better than the sea will find them. The story about your cancer, your mother, the love you feel right now, the love returned, the time you thought of the beauty of a flower, the flower you killed to show someone how beautiful it was, the realization of the importance of stillness. All those stories like broken bottles in your skin. Like jewels encrusted on a big brass door leading to a room you live in. But tonight, you are the ocean at high tide, finally getting your bottles back.
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Mar 10, 2015
Mar 10, 2015 at 3:33 AM UTC
Drunk Text Love Poem # 1
*Stars and calendars Just whispered That the last time You and me met Was exactly 6,000 days ago. And Guess what... Despite all these years, You make my heart Beat so fast, Whenever I dream of You, That is ten times a day. And when my eyes Get locked to the sky Over Paris I see your smile And your face In every sunshine. Tell me how you do it. Do you use magic? So I willingly And slowly Become your slave, Prisoner of my Life time quest For You.*
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Dec 23, 2015
Dec 23, 2015 at 5:03 AM UTC
A message to YOU
i. there are days when my stars align just for me. my inner cosmos telling me to write about the pain. my inner cosmos telling me to expand the universe within. ii. there are days when my stars collapse. i am made of pure darkness. i am made of pure anxiety— terrified of not seeing the sun again. iii. there are days when my stars rise— like the infinite suns that they are. illuminating my being.
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Dec 5, 2017
Dec 5, 2017 at 5:34 AM UTC
calendars
*It's optional Like the fading of skies Early, wild, or remorseful. All the impalpable space in the lights Scaled in weighty gilt and curls The locks and gold of sun, early as it sets on a moiety of moor grey Brushed by shadows of agonised poplars on a spiral land of sheer pistachio blanket. Muffled by lyres played from the trumpets of convolvuluses, behind spears of the brain- an imagery commence to carouse into planet deep. A promenade atop the tulle of skies, an optional way to live. Saunter and fall onto slopes, shudder, meditate and hit a bee coffin pebble on the temple Where there are options to live, to bleed. Like the lurid sunrise sifting on yellow-green nuts, and dandruffs combed like granulated sugar Oh the taste of chemistry on the shea butter candles. It's sanguine and optional, your farewells on laden calendars of poems A promenade- back into sea of spears and flames A cadaver veined in pink, bearing plethora of methanol down pulverising bone.*
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Jun 27, 2014
Jun 27, 2014 at 5:52 AM UTC
The cadaver
Conjunction: a small class of words distinguished in many languages by their function as connectors between words, phrases, clauses, sentences - the act of conjoining; combination; the state of being conjoined; union; association: - a compound proposition that is true if and only if all of its component propositions are true. - the coincidence of two or more heavenly bodies at the same celestial longitude. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I am in a relationship. a colorless word a word of no clarity a good one? a bad one? a professional deal, or one that makes you squeal with pleasure or despair without context or content, a description of a status, not a state, but a quid pro quo I prefer I am in a conjunction *well recall the day our orbits more than crossed, but synchronized, when two bodies began to travel upon the same longitude one direction in conjunction t'was the day we coordinated on our mobile phone, co-configured our future, our calendars* *nowadays, I answer her questions while she is commencing to think, when her foolishness prevails, she questions, "did you remember to..." my answer, a question returned, connected, constant and conjunctive,* "and what's my name?" an answer conveying constancy *relationship oft the farthest place from logical, but you know that, say I am in a conjunction and the logicians will celebrate the end of your lonely celibacy, well they understand the truth inherent in and of and about your compounded proposition* *what unimaginative creatures we be, dispensing with beauty for factuality, but facts are easily misread, your fact and my fact, relationship, the exact same fact, conveys neither an agreement as to what that means are we unionized, associated, or conjoined what is the quality of our related ships?* so Dear Mr. Zuckerberg, amend my status please, post me as being in a state of: a) conductivity b) connectivity c) concoctive no, none of those capture what we have captured, so let create a new state, a new world, using a very old world word post us as follows, "Nat is in a conjunction"
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Apr 25, 2014
Apr 25, 2014 at 6:32 AM UTC
I am in a relationship
Conjunction: a small class of words distinguished in many languages by their function as connectors between words, phrases, clauses, sentences - the act of conjoining; combination; the state of being conjoined; union; association: - a compound proposition that is true if and only if all of its component propositions are true. - the coincidence of two or more heavenly bodies at the same celestial longitude. ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ I am in a relationship. a colorless word a word of no clarity a good one? a bad one? a professional deal, or one that makes you squeal with pleasure or despair without context or content, a description of a status, not a state, but a quid pro quo I prefer I am in a conjunction *well recall the day our orbits more than crossed, but synchronized, when two bodies began to travel upon the same longitude one direction in conjunction t'was the day we coordinated on our mobile phone, co-configured our future, our calendars* *nowadays, I answer her questions while she is commencing to think, when her foolishness prevails, she questions, "did you remember to..." my answer, a question returned, connected, constant and conjunctive,* "and what's my name?" an answer conveying constancy *relationship oft the farthest place from logical, but you know that, say I am in a conjunction and the logicians will celebrate the end of your lonely celibacy, well they understand the truth inherent in and of and about your compounded proposition* *what unimaginative creatures we be, dispensing with beauty for factuality, but facts are easily misread, your fact and my fact, relationship, the exact same fact, conveys neither an agreement as to what that means are we unionized, associated, or conjoined what is the quality of our related ships?* so Dear Mr. Zuckerberg, amend my status please, post me as being in a state of: a) conductivity b) connectivity c) concoctive no, none of those capture what we have captured, so let create a new state, a new world, using a very old world word post us as follows, "Nat is in a conjunction"
Continue reading...
74
my roommate likes to play dress up. sometimes, she will look just like me; other times, she looks like fragmented bits of my worst weeks thrown together in old calendars I've tried to lose. you tell me this is a cry for help, but "help" is a foreign word that will always sound funny coming from my lips. keeping myself together is a language I never learned to speak. a merry-go-round of feeling bad about feeling bad about feeling bad. I can't remember the opposite of sick. my stomach is hurting and my head is spinning from all of these circles. I've been avoiding my reflection because I'm afraid she'll be disappointed to see what I've made out of her. I don't want to keep running from people who once loved me.
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Dec 11, 2015
Dec 11, 2015 at 2:11 AM UTC
coping mechanisms
Nothing is simple now… and nothing ever was. But i recall the majesty of my naivete’ and linger in the triumphant fog of my illusions as a young man of almost a Minute. Be that, as it may. i am not among the Mockingjays nor the calendars of arbitrary Days. I am the eclipse of insincere Living. i blot out the None. with blueberries from an indigo Genesis: i stain my sky with every unbelievable Promise - my Calculus can muster. My Love in tow. I gather at the edgeless mist of my Identity and etch the core of my consecrated cacophonies into the bones of dead whales like Scrimshaw for deep kids. And that's It.
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Dec 18, 2018
Dec 18, 2018 at 2:21 AM UTC
Blueberries From Genesis
In a dream I returned to the river of bees Five orange trees by the bridge and Beside two mills my house Into whose courtyard a blindman followed The goats and stood singing Of what was older Soon it will be fifteen years He was old he will have fallen into his eyes I took my eyes A long way to the calendars Room after room asking how shall I live One man processions carry through it Empty bottles their Image of hope It was offered to me by name Once once and once In the same city I was born Asking what shall I say He will have fallen into his mouth Men think they are better than grass I return to his voice rising like a forkful of hay He was old he is not real nothing is real Nor the noise of death drawing water We are the echo of the future On the door it says what to do to survive But we were not born to survive Only to live
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2k
The River of Bees