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"ashed" poems
The drug The high The confusion The craving The withdrawal The brain feels overwhelmed The noise creates chaos in my mind The silence I seek The alone time I need The anxiety kicks in Struggling to breathe... Overthinking creates an addiction, to the things that cause mind suppression. My mind is noisy, with thoughts of occurrences that have happened, and some not. I try not to depress myself, but mistakenly think too far in the future, then get disappointed because expectations have not been reached. Busy, distracted, chaotic, and unfocused. I reach no end to where my mind goes... A path of little thoughts that creates an explosion and downfall. I crave the drugs to give my mind a rest. To give it a sense of peacefulness... I have failed lifes tests. Tense, tight, my mind implodes. Burn my thoughts and bury them in ashed coal. Cannot sleep Cannot close my eyes Always in a state of overthinking... Like my brain is constantly blinking
0
Nov 7, 2016
Nov 7, 2016 at 10:00 AM UTC
Overthinking
Hail, dreamcatcher, hear now my thoughts Free my soul of fond hopes of naught; Of brokenness these dreams had taught; Of ceaseless pain this life has brought. This heart is weary of shouting; Of being empty yet drowning In insipid words befuddling; In ashed promises succumbing. **** this anguish feasting inside That this shiv may be put aside; These damp sheets be given a rest, And that may bliss in this room nest. Hail, dreamcatcher, hear now my sigh, The words I'll mutter as lie Below the grass, hear my cry; My soliloquies ere I die. The dreams that I wove with your strings Are dreams that 'til I slumber clings; Dreams that on stars I'll be wishing That I with the stars be dreaming. Farewell to you, dear moon, I say Awake I can no longer stay In peace on this bed I shall lay, Never again shall I rise, I pray. So dreamcatcher croon me to sleep And let me drown in thoughts so deep Don't wake me up, I had enough Last wish: I be gone in a puff.
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Jan 29, 2014
Jan 29, 2014 at 9:01 AM UTC
Dreamcatcher
From love we suffer From ashed we stand From death we escape and from life we dream We struggle for love We struggle for dreams We are attach to an illusion star But we never stop writing poems...
0
Dec 2, 2015
Dec 2, 2015 at 2:12 AM UTC
Hopes
*i was looking at an old and tattered black and white photo of my grandfather a man i never knew and wondered about his existence like a horizon of dissolution his soul enshrined in my own and like him and all creatures ultimately i remain defenseless against realities magnitude while my father loved me as a child he grew unkind over the years and we where set bitterly against one another other his tyranny and my disobedience as i gathered strategies craft by machinery of thought and festering gall he, the bully got bullied back by me and old age as we in tandem set fire to his sadistic golden age of disillusionment and here we are now the living and the dead still locked in a grudge a recurring spirit of revenge in a valley of tears before i myself join the ephemeral legions in a pile of stones and ashed corpses are we not a procession of long struggles and short pleasures a history of terrors and creatureness stooges bound by the wheel creation crucified by desire and the apathy of obliterations aftermath an archeology of death ruin upon ruins has God sinned against man or bestowed his grace mystified perfect and beautiful beyond measure yet to be discovered in an alternate reality?
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Nov 4, 2017
Nov 4, 2017 at 10:26 AM UTC
HORIZON OF DISSOLUTION
skyscraper man on seattle time looms in the corner of swan lake and fry untouchable denim untouchable blueblack plaid jacket he's put together with clothespins he's put together with stipends he's crammed between taxi cab book ends skyscraper man on seattle time stoic as the jet engines roar by all his friends are magazines all his friends currentbrief he's got a little future he's got a few dimes he's got no father to call out the lies skyscraper man on seattle time watches smog children kick ***** on concrete vulnerable under trees writes his novels in purpleink he's married once before he's read crucifixion lore he's returned his money to the store skyscraper man on seattle time looking through spectacles of ***** and brine the rain falls hard the breeze sweet on the leaves he's emptying the soul of modern rock n' roll he's emptying the tray of ashed thought he's emptying the bank account cold skyscraper man on seattle time sheds crinkled skinmemory like the cicada a twin-sized deathbed deathbed in apt. 203 he's nothing. he's ever. he's happened. skyscraper man on seattle time carbon copied and eternal as saltwater as rust invisible and tapping at the runrain window he's nothing. he's ever. he's happened. skyscraper man on seattle time climbs himself to the cosmos lightheaded perfection ethereal visions of fullbloom love and legacy with measure he's nothing. he's ever. he's happened.
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Nov 20, 2012
Nov 20, 2012 at 11:04 AM UTC
nothingeverhappened
Hands are such a unique feature in our bodies I mean, hands let us feel what we can't see 1 2 3,....456789 10 fingers, describe our feelings when we speak. I mean just picture how my hands move in my poetry Hands God's greatest creation on us. Hands are for love when one has fallen we reach out hoping to grab on to someones... hands.. have their own counter parts because when we hold hands is funny how each one my fingers fit perfectly in the gaps of yours. These are our hands Hands used for love but not all hands are the same some are used for hate a set of clenched fingers turn your hands into a fist a fist which is use to strike in violence or self defense but those clenched fingers that are laid upon a woman are those of a coward. Hands are not just for feeling they are for more they are your identity from every ashed knuckle to every cut Hands have a story for us look your hands and tell the story it tells
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Sep 16, 2014
Sep 16, 2014 at 9:09 PM UTC
Hands
Lord I just ask you to guide me, in this pouring rain. Praying for a change All I feel is pain.. My life on this earth feels so alone Everyone I love has met you Don't have anyone else to hold. I still don't know why you chose my life to suffer this way. Broken hearted, ashed out blac & milds, emptied bottles, Lost in a cycle.. Im praying to be strong, like my mom said So I'm still fighting. Living blinded, sometimes I do feel like screaming for help But no one reached out a hand When they knew that I fell. Blessed that I now have an umbrella To protect me from the rain Im still holding on Cause the season has never changed. No one really heard of this pain Cause we all sinners We too focused on the hopes of fame. But that's just the flick that starts the flame How could we hold our head up in the pouring rain One day I shall release my spirit Into the sun Then reunite with all of my loved ones. ©MH
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Aug 18, 2018
Aug 18, 2018 at 5:35 PM UTC
Storms
He asked me, once: "Would you die for me?" I looked up at him, a smirk forming at my lips. I slowly ashed my cigarette, as if I was thinking of a suitable answer, one that proclaimed my undying affection. As I caught his eye, I said: "Well, frankly love, I wouldn't even **** for you."
0
Sep 4, 2015
Sep 4, 2015 at 7:45 PM UTC
That Time I Murdered You
Tell me when it was The first time you learned to hate yourself The first time you tripped over your own fault lines And started taking caution in every step When did it happen? Was it at 10? When your shaking hands couldn't hold still And the shame of them drove you into isolation Maybe it's because others noticed Or because they did their best to make it clear you were different I don't think you know That the rhythm you had and still have Is unlike the rest It is crooked and uneven but beautiful nonetheless You didn't know it then And accepting unsteadiness is easier said than done Tell me when it was The first time you learned to hurt yourself Could it have been at 13? When the weight of too much pressure motivated you to lose it To the point where bones stuck out more than your voice Loud girl became quiet that year And then even more so the next When your changing body didn't morph the way you would have liked it to Left you shaped uncomfortably A little too top heavy The kind that drew unwanted attention At a time when standing out was the last thing you desired You turned skin into a battlefield into remnants from too many losses Wrists became front lines, then hips, then neck until You became too much destruction to keep the war going You learned that it is impossible to win in a fight against yourself Tell me when it was The first time you learned to forget yourself Was it at 15? When the sacrifice of your body wasn't enough To make a careless boy love you It was a silly thing to give it all away When you barely had enough of you for yourself Your efforts changed after that Trying too hard turned into not trying at all Feeling too much turned into feeling nothing at all You learned to repress and erase And start over in the morning You have been heavy from trying to hide away for so long Tell me when it is The first time you learn to love yourself Will finally be after all of the years of disappointment? Of self-deprecation? When you realize you deserve more Than to be the dust swept off to the side Deserve better than to be an ashed out version of your potential You were not meant to be wasted You were not meant to be washed out and pushed down You were meant to stand tall The first time you learn to love yourself Will be when you realize flaw is inevitable When your skin turns itself different colors And nothing can be done to change it You will then learn acceptance The first time you learn to love yourself Will be when you stop comparing When you look in the mirror and see only yourself in the reflection Nobody else You were meant to be here You were meant to embrace it all This body This skin This image The only one you will ever have The same one you will have to love And eventually you will, You'll learn how to.
0
Jan 25, 2015
Jan 25, 2015 at 10:17 PM UTC
Learn
Tell me when it was The first time you learned to hate yourself The first time you tripped over your own fault lines And started taking caution in every step When did it happen? Was it at 10? When your shaking hands couldn't hold still And the shame of them drove you into isolation Maybe it's because others noticed Or because they did their best to make it clear you were different I don't think you know That the rhythm you had and still have Is unlike the rest It is crooked and uneven but beautiful nonetheless You didn't know it then And accepting unsteadiness is easier said than done Tell me when it was The first time you learned to hurt yourself Could it have been at 13? When the weight of too much pressure motivated you to lose it To the point where bones stuck out more than your voice Loud girl became quiet that year And then even more so the next When your changing body didn't morph the way you would have liked it to Left you shaped uncomfortably A little too top heavy The kind that drew unwanted attention At a time when standing out was the last thing you desired You turned skin into a battlefield into remnants from too many losses Wrists became front lines, then hips, then neck until You became too much destruction to keep the war going You learned that it is impossible to win in a fight against yourself Tell me when it was The first time you learned to forget yourself Was it at 15? When the sacrifice of your body wasn't enough To make a careless boy love you It was a silly thing to give it all away When you barely had enough of you for yourself Your efforts changed after that Trying too hard turned into not trying at all Feeling too much turned into feeling nothing at all You learned to repress and erase And start over in the morning You have been heavy from trying to hide away for so long Tell me when it is The first time you learn to love yourself Will finally be after all of the years of disappointment? Of self-deprecation? When you realize you deserve more Than to be the dust swept off to the side Deserve better than to be an ashed out version of your potential You were not meant to be wasted You were not meant to be washed out and pushed down You were meant to stand tall The first time you learn to love yourself Will be when you realize flaw is inevitable When your skin turns itself different colors And nothing can be done to change it You will then learn acceptance The first time you learn to love yourself Will be when you stop comparing When you look in the mirror and see only yourself in the reflection Nobody else You were meant to be here You were meant to embrace it all This body This skin This image The only one you will ever have The same one you will have to love And eventually you will, You'll learn how to.
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73
crooked teeth but pretty lips biting into a sweet slice of cheesecake that sounds good i will do that when takers become givers and old men stop snoring and bus 39 stops being late old ladies with young problems like to crochet and sad men do comedy faces in the sheets and ceilings and clouds and even in between my legs get lost in the abyss of strange in my delicate brain and ashed-on layers i swear i could take a bite out of you
0
Jun 26, 2014
Jun 26, 2014 at 2:32 PM UTC
waiting at a bus stop and humming
*A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing.* Ecclesiastes 3:5. long, long long have I known the contradictory meaning thereof, for I authored it, time immemorial till the day came when understanding parted, left for another prophet, another poet, for this how the world's words go, round and around left me re commencing re imaging re imagining, new era words, newer versions, new heards newer mergings stones and embraces ha! "Two of my favorite things" no, that's been done... "Let's go get ****** and..." nope, that's been done So, spark sublime divine give me a second chance, compose me a vision that gathers these mutual funds of contrasting similarities in a bow tied connection singular, worthy of song and daily recitation! *her embrace was a stone necklace around my throat, sackcloth was my shroud, to the sea bottom was impaled, by the stony apparition of the unrequited embrace* Ugh *My beloved's embrace, cracked the stones that surround my uncaring register, the cold still waters that hid it now boiling from her gathering me in* better. one last try before I repent *embrace the stones that obstacle the journey, gather them in, together keep, for they are the markers, you have used, you have been, you have exhausted, so long after the body ashed, these words will trace for those that follow the path you marked with these same stones you gathered in olden days of simple joyous embrace* this will, must have to do, for the stones of the angels of sleep have arrived and undeterred, upon my chest have, inscribed and placed, while bidding me adieu, tucking me in, gathering me to my rest, a closing eyeing embracing, in drowsy voices half clear: sleep prophet, the work done, the words piled, the stones now mark your the you final resting place upon them ecrivez, In The Future, Keep It Simple Stupid
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Jan 6, 2014
Jan 6, 2014 at 5:58 PM UTC
Stones and Embraces
*A time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together; a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing.* Ecclesiastes 3:5. long, long long have I known the contradictory meaning thereof, for I authored it, time immemorial till the day came when understanding parted, left for another prophet, another poet, for this how the world's words go, round and around left me re commencing re imaging re imagining, new era words, newer versions, new heards newer mergings stones and embraces ha! "Two of my favorite things" no, that's been done... "Let's go get ****** and..." nope, that's been done So, spark sublime divine give me a second chance, compose me a vision that gathers these mutual funds of contrasting similarities in a bow tied connection singular, worthy of song and daily recitation! *her embrace was a stone necklace around my throat, sackcloth was my shroud, to the sea bottom was impaled, by the stony apparition of the unrequited embrace* Ugh *My beloved's embrace, cracked the stones that surround my uncaring register, the cold still waters that hid it now boiling from her gathering me in* better. one last try before I repent *embrace the stones that obstacle the journey, gather them in, together keep, for they are the markers, you have used, you have been, you have exhausted, so long after the body ashed, these words will trace for those that follow the path you marked with these same stones you gathered in olden days of simple joyous embrace* this will, must have to do, for the stones of the angels of sleep have arrived and undeterred, upon my chest have, inscribed and placed, while bidding me adieu, tucking me in, gathering me to my rest, a closing eyeing embracing, in drowsy voices half clear: sleep prophet, the work done, the words piled, the stones now mark your the you final resting place upon them ecrivez, In The Future, Keep It Simple Stupid
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90
The date is printed orange in the bottom right hand corner of my very favorite picture.      It's from two-thousand and eight And, as my cramping legs keep ambling every gavel foot falls faster than the one that fell before.      I'm wondering where the Hell the years have gone. You were all brown eyes and wide white smiles. I was all youthful bravado. As your laughter swelled to confidence, I was sinking straight down to the bottom. And the water rolled on past us,           Goose Creek swelled with the Summer run-off... Tell me where did all this time run off to? The moon is looming large in the hazing, ashed-out corner of my wine-enchanted eyeball      on this too-typical night. And every hyphen lends some extra space to staggered breaths as I recall your face. Now I'm spelling out      my own verdict: defendant's moving to convict. I don't know the final cost.      But I got enough memories to say what future I still have,      well it sure ain't coming free. I got enough memories now      that I don't know where I will be when a year is just a yawn and a sigh,      and you're still lodged      deep down inside of me. You were brown eyes' living confidence, I was yellow, fading cowardice. I know you were the better one, and I've always been scraping the bottom. And the water stalled beside us,           Red Riv- -er choked with Winter ice blocks. Don't know why I was so dumb and frozen. But thanks      for believing           all those years.
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Aug 16, 2016
Aug 16, 2016 at 11:36 AM UTC
Photographic Evidence
The date is printed orange in the bottom right hand corner of my very favorite picture.      It's from two-thousand and eight And, as my cramping legs keep ambling every gavel foot falls faster than the one that fell before.      I'm wondering where the Hell the years have gone. You were all brown eyes and wide white smiles. I was all youthful bravado. As your laughter swelled to confidence, I was sinking straight down to the bottom. And the water rolled on past us,           Goose Creek swelled with the Summer run-off... Tell me where did all this time run off to? The moon is looming large in the hazing, ashed-out corner of my wine-enchanted eyeball      on this too-typical night. And every hyphen lends some extra space to staggered breaths as I recall your face. Now I'm spelling out      my own verdict: defendant's moving to convict. I don't know the final cost.      But I got enough memories to say what future I still have,      well it sure ain't coming free. I got enough memories now      that I don't know where I will be when a year is just a yawn and a sigh,      and you're still lodged      deep down inside of me. You were brown eyes' living confidence, I was yellow, fading cowardice. I know you were the better one, and I've always been scraping the bottom. And the water stalled beside us,           Red Riv- -er choked with Winter ice blocks. Don't know why I was so dumb and frozen. But thanks      for believing           all those years.
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46
Today, I ashed my cigarette on the ground, but it kept burning, and there was an ant when I went to squelch the embers with the heel of my boot. As my foot passed over it like God's hand over man, I had a distinct impulse to **** it. --but nothing else, no reason; so I didn't.  In fact, it would have been just as justified, just as reasonable to have said Good morning and just as nonsensical. And though he likely isn't a listener of music, and though he is not likely to spend his days studying the works of Yeats or Whitman, or to ponder spirituality or philosophy, as men do, I think he may have even more of the Lord's favor upon him than I.
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Nov 21, 2012
Nov 21, 2012 at 12:36 PM UTC
There Was an Ant
there once was a pyromaniac he lit himself on fire he should have panicked but everything was just brighter he lived from day to day yearning to add to the pyre he knew it to be easy with a touch it would spread wildfire but he was no devil he could control his desire so he lived in agony even when his need grew dire he'd never intrude unwelcome almost like a vampire but he was far too kind and reticent to trap a victim whom he would squire he scared them all away with apathy and satire he was too familiar with the anguish his fire would inspire he wanted to protect the beautiful souls from the harm of its ire he let his fire burn him to the ground leaving nothing to quench the inquire he watched as his fire ashed his wings and invisibly divine attire he let it consume him alone, entire there once was a pyromaniac he lit himself on fire he was resolutely resilient he drove himself to the pyre but in his final breath he heard no lyre he was a fool that no one could admire there once was a pyromaniac he lit himself on fire i would have held his hand together nothing could conquer us, not the world, not a fire
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Dec 8, 2013
Dec 8, 2013 at 2:15 PM UTC
the pyromaniac
Not sure what to make of it I felt comfortable-- Knowing that the fire extinguisher was there It made me feel safe If anything ever caught fire I could put it out I was a selfish child--full of arrogance and naivety The world mistook my insecurity and inexperience for apathy All I wanted was a place to call my own, Something to hold on to I did not worry about the still-lit cigarette Not even when it bounced from the sidewalk to the grass The red hot embers glowed among the dying grass I did not worry when the fire began I took my sweet time in getting the extinguisher By the time I came back my world was engulfed in flames Scrambling, I tried to smother the heat The extinguisher let out a pathetic puff of dust And I stood as hell fire consumed my home Acrid smoke muffled my screams and floating ashed blinded me All that was left was a charred fire extinguisher and the frames of my glasses
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Feb 23, 2015
Feb 23, 2015 at 4:30 PM UTC
Burn
The best part of lent Are the Fridays when We can't eat meat Or before sunset Because my mom and I drive to McDonald's and eat filet o fish while she smokes her misty ultra lights and I listen to her favourite classic rock station with the windows rolled down watching the wind chill work its way in from Lake Michigan to the trees on Chicago avenue We talk politics and music and god and then our own lives which always seem so small after I'll try to work the courage to ask her if she minds if I smoke too And she will try to ask me how aa is going "You have cheese on your cheek" "Oh thanks, you just ashed on your pants" "Oh thanks" That'll be it And that'll be nice And we'll drive home under the wind chill and soft leaves growing again and soft moon gently shining like her watchful worried eyes It's only forty days But Jesus spent those forty with the devil It's nice to get to know his wife
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Mar 6, 2014
Mar 6, 2014 at 12:30 AM UTC
Lent
We faded like fragments White bed sheet tales now We used to smoke like trains I think I can, I think I can. Ashed in each others hearts once or twice But I didn't mind With the sunlight on your face You are my sunshine, my only sunshine. I crept across the sheets Looking at you hungrily Your eyes danced down my back The itsy bitsy spider went up the water spout We collided without a sound I watched your lips part And muffled murmurs were all that escaped Hush little baby, don't say a word. But those tales are only tales And these white sheets are empty now I don't know why you left me How I wonder where you are. But I mourn for you like a dying lover And while I do, I long for another, to take your place Miss Mary Mack, Mack, Mack. All dressed in black, black, black. Yet no one aside from you, Has taken the time to look inside So, slowly, I find myself emptying Ashes to ashes, we all fall down. And so I wait. And I remember.
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Sep 23, 2013
Sep 23, 2013 at 2:00 PM UTC
Into Obscurity
A poem it will escape as a bird your next notes painted on photographs of mint velvet and mine mine will do as it pleasez no rules dangling charmingly upon my ankle icing up my tattoo a Hindu **** who believes in ***** but not in mankind not himself it dies ashed stuck to a flytrap diving the room into dark and light red and green cold and hot but cut slice the floor with your foot as you're reading backwards into a pool of ink that droughts and ... nothing was/is left! .. that is, nothing-- but my hula wrists twists and beats waves Light is both small particles and waves. So it is that I AM.
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Jul 11, 2012
Jul 11, 2012 at 5:39 PM UTC
is not something you can confine
I stare at her across the bar, between the bottles covering the worn out stained oak varnish tarnished, wood soaked from years of ashed out cigarettes and spilt beers slopped spirits from over zealous cheers she's younger than I imagined, aged as a fine wine her eyes locked on mine I see the solar system, galaxies surrounding the pupils blacker than the abyss of the outer reaches of space a lovely contrast to the lightness of her face I pull up a seat beside her trying to spark a conversation on life, nature, hopes for modern civilization or even space exploration she says "quiet now my son, patience" you're to focused on what you're saying without hearing what you're conveying her hand pressed to my heart and she said 43 beats I remember 39 when you sleep, but 84 when you're tempered I asked her the significance she said it's all about the difference how my world is at peace when I am asleep but pointless rage forces the increase this life can go no faster and you will know no master so focused on breaking the mold, or shattering the plaster when we really need the subtle hand to make the cast first she said you see me all in your own ways I saw her as a woman, soft eyes with a caring face for no man knows the subtle intricacies and nuances that make living worth the fight I met god in a bar, she walked me home in the beautiful night we spoke of love, happiness and the pursuit of this life...
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Feb 24, 2013
Feb 24, 2013 at 11:10 PM UTC
I met god in a bar
Were you alive when the bricks began to crumble beneath our hand-held, kiss puppets? Our mumbled whispers that tapered ladders on gargantuan folds and slung-held boy-grips. Cohorts torn into flip stands layered toward standing sores -- tell me how to cross rapid waters of social trends. We were strung up the flag pole, almost posted as decapitated heads for the public. Under teeming hammer-strikes : glasses shred to paper-splinters before a car crying white chalk bricks onto saran-wrapped concrete. There were antennas perched like speckled, mangy feathers, poised, reflecting defiance toward the wool-ashed sky. With dirt-trekked journey marks, there were trees growing silver hair outside the grocery store -- and frown-marked women -- that skin-folded war paint -- yelled at their daughters to pay attention.
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Dec 22, 2011
Dec 22, 2011 at 9:30 PM UTC
Occupied and Empathized
Wake up in a slight daze like the hanging haze when something in the kitchen is burning but it’s the fog of hangovers, dizzying post nights flash cards of kisses, songs, and maybe tears all kinds of parts of me ache with bruises and bite marks there’s opened chasers, flung boots, bottles under the bed I spot your red lipstick imprinted on ashed cigarettes and beer cans and when I go take a **** I discover your ******* in my pocket I see your text, “Home. Had a blast. Miss ya! *** and I am no longer haunted by some vague lingering feeling that somehow this was a ****** scene instead of our raw rituals of love
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Jul 7, 2015
Jul 7, 2015 at 6:58 PM UTC
Vaga
Burn Them Memories Of Mine Something That Was Always so full of shine Never Wanted to pick up the pen again but i ain't one of those who sit and Whine Our love was great secure by a relic, our own shrine.. Taking it to another level you jumped through Mid-air nothing is able to hold us up now we missed and sort of crossed the line... Burn Them Memories Of Mine Something That Was Always so full of shine You ain't looking at me you looking through me... Unable to analyze.. Sitting down on my knees i made a pray to the almighty that if he could take me up, that would be very kind Rosary i threw he looked at me with anger somewhat that i saw in you... He gave me a chance though something that you dint do... Metal shield sort of supernova you never heard me through you kicked me and rolled me over.. Kisses you gave burn within me rotting in ashes are our memories... Picture we clicked with all the flash flash... I walk around with a continuous flashback... Entering out exiting in, my heart on the floor, tears i flow that look for murdering... Memories i have is all that has been burning... Look at me now ashed inside a picture frame...
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Oct 11, 2012
Oct 11, 2012 at 8:13 AM UTC
Burn Them Memories Of Mine
I went to a funeral and lied I went to a funeral and lied In junk and drink, no grief, Just cowardice and pride. Fear of losing you by my side Losing you to the other side. Fear that shook with the gloved murderer's hide I went to my funeral and shied I didn't want to sleep or hide I just held your bloodless, jaundiced face I couldn't help but feel a fake As two sets of opache eyes Did not pass a tear and cry. Just the shivering hands that stopped your last sighs I went to a funeral and lied I drank and stood in black and could not cry, I strung words and made some ineloquent speech Loved and held but held love out of reach Spoke in riddles, played hide and seek With a congregation of perjured freaks. I laughed at their blindness where my guilt sits. Last night in our death bed where I slept Dry-eyed like your cataract eyes Dumb mouth fish gape In the old flat, my eyes, dry, dry eyes. I didn't hear the trains last night I couldn't hear grief's knock at all There was no knock, There was no wake or ball, just Your bloodless gape and jaundice face Shining yellow plumbed and spent ****** leech-mouthed, dumb, Your cataract eyes, Under clumsy-ashed mascara lids A shy pass in some gothic flick A tetany spasm, no shock or awe. You looked up at me and saw nothing at all. I share some dead shark surprise; Opache, tearless rolled-up eyes And I lay gibbering at your side And laughed and hated your passion and cries King over requiem and bride Healer, dealer, hood and pride Addicting storm and flushed aside. I scraped blood off your chessboard marble floors Wiped the evidence from cold-polished claws I burned effigies of pagan-hates Hoodwinked the sentimental double agent spooks And threw scent off my mistress as a ******* clown. This morning I went to a funeral and lied I could not spill one tear from these witness eyes That watched the hands suffocate your traumatic sighs I went to a funeral and lied Conducted proceedings with the murdering hands’ whys I wanted the last of you, my bride.
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Mar 11, 2014
Mar 11, 2014 at 6:17 AM UTC
I went to a funeral and lied
I went to a funeral and lied I went to a funeral and lied In junk and drink, no grief, Just cowardice and pride. Fear of losing you by my side Losing you to the other side. Fear that shook with the gloved murderer's hide I went to my funeral and shied I didn't want to sleep or hide I just held your bloodless, jaundiced face I couldn't help but feel a fake As two sets of opache eyes Did not pass a tear and cry. Just the shivering hands that stopped your last sighs I went to a funeral and lied I drank and stood in black and could not cry, I strung words and made some ineloquent speech Loved and held but held love out of reach Spoke in riddles, played hide and seek With a congregation of perjured freaks. I laughed at their blindness where my guilt sits. Last night in our death bed where I slept Dry-eyed like your cataract eyes Dumb mouth fish gape In the old flat, my eyes, dry, dry eyes. I didn't hear the trains last night I couldn't hear grief's knock at all There was no knock, There was no wake or ball, just Your bloodless gape and jaundice face Shining yellow plumbed and spent ****** leech-mouthed, dumb, Your cataract eyes, Under clumsy-ashed mascara lids A shy pass in some gothic flick A tetany spasm, no shock or awe. You looked up at me and saw nothing at all. I share some dead shark surprise; Opache, tearless rolled-up eyes And I lay gibbering at your side And laughed and hated your passion and cries King over requiem and bride Healer, dealer, hood and pride Addicting storm and flushed aside. I scraped blood off your chessboard marble floors Wiped the evidence from cold-polished claws I burned effigies of pagan-hates Hoodwinked the sentimental double agent spooks And threw scent off my mistress as a ******* clown. This morning I went to a funeral and lied I could not spill one tear from these witness eyes That watched the hands suffocate your traumatic sighs I went to a funeral and lied Conducted proceedings with the murdering hands’ whys I wanted the last of you, my bride.
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55
dread he came upon them. the slow father; his shadow, ill. he came upon them, those girls, punching his daughter in the stomach. had a couple years on his daughter, and weight. it was not dark. school had been out an hour. he had taken a walk. had to drop his cigarette. had to pick it up. fixed on a point beyond him; his daughter’s eyes. ***** of paper not anymore burning. first girl had one earphone in, and one come loose; a string undressed of puppet. the song that was playing, he listened. he had the time to listen. mostly his daughter read books but she would sing and he would know she was alone. he counted. there were three. it took a long a time. he paused on ‘two’, good in his mouth. the earphone girl was holding his daughter from behind. his rock cleared her braces and she choked. the two, they kept at the belly. props of delay. he ****** once and pulled the light from his lips. ashed it under the right eyeglass of the skinny one. her body made off with her soul now less a window. fat girl chewed her gum and made like she could run. he dug the house key from his pocket and placed it like a second knuckle. heard the bones of small animals, crunch of hairspray, ‘fore the key notched the back of her neck. his right hand went numb as if he’d cupped the ***** of god. fat girl good part of her landed on his daughter. he pitched her with his foot but she didn’t go easily. when a bit of day could be seen from his sentence, he received a longhand letter from his daughter and among the common she also shared how the fatty eviscerated her by email.
0
Jul 2, 2012
Jul 2, 2012 at 1:09 PM UTC
scutwork
dread he came upon them. the slow father; his shadow, ill. he came upon them, those girls, punching his daughter in the stomach. had a couple years on his daughter, and weight. it was not dark. school had been out an hour. he had taken a walk. had to drop his cigarette. had to pick it up. fixed on a point beyond him; his daughter’s eyes. ***** of paper not anymore burning. first girl had one earphone in, and one come loose; a string undressed of puppet. the song that was playing, he listened. he had the time to listen. mostly his daughter read books but she would sing and he would know she was alone. he counted. there were three. it took a long a time. he paused on ‘two’, good in his mouth. the earphone girl was holding his daughter from behind. his rock cleared her braces and she choked. the two, they kept at the belly. props of delay. he ****** once and pulled the light from his lips. ashed it under the right eyeglass of the skinny one. her body made off with her soul now less a window. fat girl chewed her gum and made like she could run. he dug the house key from his pocket and placed it like a second knuckle. heard the bones of small animals, crunch of hairspray, ‘fore the key notched the back of her neck. his right hand went numb as if he’d cupped the ***** of god. fat girl good part of her landed on his daughter. he pitched her with his foot but she didn’t go easily. when a bit of day could be seen from his sentence, he received a longhand letter from his daughter and among the common she also shared how the fatty eviscerated her by email.
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1
More than a few years ago I hid my mind, and have long since forgotten where I had put it. I sat on my softpack and I felt remorseful pity, because it really crushed my cigarettes. And I felt such sympathy for them, so unable to be used. Then she stood up and held out her hand, and I gratefully took the burning smoke from her fingers. As I exhaled she grew a beautiful blue halo of twirling, swirling, tinct smoke rings. 'My death angel,' thought I. Then I ashed it too hard on the brim of the ashtray.
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Mar 27, 2015
Mar 27, 2015 at 10:10 PM UTC
Flicking her cherry off