A fickle heart
Begets a fickle
Mind of fickle
Thoughts

Your dripping blood and tears
Are what quenches my thirst
Your wailing cries of fears
Are what makes my stomach burst

For I am a vile creature of flaws
My hands mangled with sarcastic claws
I am but a melodrama of pain
In which life on death I gain

In this bottomless pit of despair
Forever, torment I will share
Devoid of laughter and love
My life ends like a naive dove

I look into the mirror
I see faces
Perfect copies
Different identities

Some faces
Lined with fear
Regret and love
Of shame and envy

Others with expressions
Of anger and lies
Stone faces
And cold hearts

Everyday I look
Into the mirror
Questions I have
Fogging the glass

Which one?
The real one?
Which of it?
Is it me?

I shunned all and everyone
I kept myself from all that's fun
Never thread again in the sun
For I chose the darkness and  it's done

Yet in this sweet dark Abyss
I still seek the one that's weak
A sliver of spark and so meek
A tiny Hope in this Darkness reek

For there is hope for me
For everything thrown at me
For every trial to come at me
And for everyone  to hate on me

For there is hope...
A hope we so crave...
A hope that it'll fade away...
And that tomorrow is another day...

My hurtling words of fire
A comforting flame in your ire
A useless sting of pointless banter
In which you let out a heartless laughter

Your mirth a travesty of joy
For inside you feel sick and coy
That boastful persona of yours
A swollen mask of horrid boars

For you are but a gnat
An annoyance in my gut
A perfect example of a lie
In which your feelings you deny

A big hulking menace you are
I am a bee prepared for war
'Coz even the small venom may suffice
To take down a bullying giant thrice

For you are nothing but an anomaly
A ******* of sacred sympathy
A mutation of kindness and charity
An unloved kid raised in brutal anarchy

So when this war fades out
And we both are cold out
I hope that we can make and fill
The love we both didn't get to feel

For you see we are but humans
Of the same species of grand
A being of futile feelings
Of uncontrollable emotions we are drowning

The scars on my face
your bruises
and my pain
The dark secrets we share
the shame we hide
and the whispers at night

Violet shades
under the lamp
we kiss and touch
hot and cold
collide and fold
until we explode

ragged breathing
moans of pleasure
stiff bodies
colliding with pressure
hurt and be hurt
in Violet's *******

When women ****, 'tis a blessing,
As they drug an innocent young man,
Shedding his clothes for the reaping,
And then blame him for being a man,

When women beat, 'tis funny,
As they drag the guy crying for help,
His blood dripping as thick as honey,
Women laughing at his painful yelp,

When women lie, 'tis truth when she cries,
You'll be called a sexist if you don't believe, For when women do visciously decieve,
All the knights in the land rally and rise,

And without a careful judgement of the court,
A man was sentenced to the living morgue,
Behind bars of steel inside a stone fort,
Rotting inside like his fellow corpses.

Shatter, shatter, shatter
In my mind I dumbly wonder
Shatter, shatter, shatter
Is my heart torn asunder?

Like the broken window
My panes are cracked
My billowing sorrows
In a corner I stacked

Till someone comes
I wait in the twilight
To warm my heart so numb
My heart of glass, in the darkest night

It isn't easy to say
For thoughts might sway
And in some faithful day
In your ears I'll whisper it and say

"Love me now, tomorrow and forever,
Love me until my final breather
Love me 'til the sun sets in the west
Love me with all your heart's best"

For these words were trapped lightning
In my heart feelings like the waves are whipping
In total chaos of what I feel for you
I am in a conundrum in trying to love you

I fear in your mouth a single thought of power
An uncertain word yet so vast for me to ponder
An inconsiderable adverb you began to consider
That at a certain time-frame  I will ease or suffer

The thrill and suspense rising
Anxiousness and nausea in me boiling
My sleepless nights never ending
My broken mind always just thinking

Have you no mercy for  a feeble creature as I?
For every word is Provident as you let them fly
My poor soul aches, agony and anguish combine
In my mind helpless thoughts divide

For what may have been done is an answer
Of uncertainty and forsaking with crooked laughter
As I asked if I can have you forever
You said SOON so now I'll restlessly wonder

The precious little thing
deep in the womb
The mother is carrying
of kicks like beating drums

The little life inside her
the little dreams made
Of future set ahead
endless possibilities ended

Expectations the father made
before the child decision could make
Like contracts in the wind that fade
what life and path the child should take

The little seed came
and he was perfect in all ways
Not so perfect to other people
but perfect to the mother anyways

The world is dark
A perfect twilight
Grey shades and purple hues
My mind screaming for an escape

A lit cigarette on hand
A steel kissed lover on the other
The tingling electricity
Of the cold steel, waiting...

A dab in the flesh
Pressing down hard to the veins
A thin red line runs
Down my wrists and the tub

Euphoric and high
I saw rich velvet red
Flowing like streams
Down the drain my life goes

Now the world is in color....

I am a familiar creak in your floorboards,
A poignant sound ringing inside your skull,
A tiny screech in the desert of your shattered thoughts,
Keeping you awake with many restless nights,
Hauntingly humming to the tune of my broken life,
For I am familiar creak in your floorboards.

Even when the greatest clouds came to raise you up,
Higher than what I could reach with my ***** hands,
I am there to watch your fall from grace,
To laugh in mirth as you tumble down your house of cards,
To sink you further down the pit with force so harsh,
And then coddle you back into my sickly embrace.

For I am a familiar creak in your floorboards,
A ghost so restless from our immature past,
Between torn sheets and dilapidated beds,
Across pillows and saliva covered bedheads,
For I am a the one you always seem to regret,
An afterthought in your every waking moment.

This one goes to the one who broke my heart,
The one who kept me waiting and kept denying me my joy
While I keep denying myself of all the things around me
While you keep rejecting every reason of truth beyond doubt

Where have you been? Have you been busy? Or have you gone away?
Is your work that hard and restless that you have to cancel my calls?
Is it so hectic you can’t reply me? Or is it that you can’t enjoy my company?
Yes, I know, were together apart, but our hearts were never apart,

How is it that I have endured this thing? Is it you? Or is it me?
Have you decided to break it up to me that you have grown tired?
Or you’re too busy that you can’t text back? Or even call one bit and say Hi.
Has it been too long that you said “Many die on false accusations”.

Your final straw. The final trump card you drew out of my heart.
The trust I have given you, the endurance I have committed.
The time wasted on waiting on you, on courting you.
Because you promised, you promised you’d say YES.

And yes, I did Die on those false accusations. On those false promises you gave me.
I have been true yet you can’t even give me one piece
Not even a crumb of your precious time or company,
Not even a bit to keep my hopes up and me acting all crazy on you.

And yes, my heart did die for you.
Not once, but everytime you didn’t text me back or call me.
I die every moment you deny me of your company or communication
I die every second I have endured on courting you endlessly.

Now tell me, did I not keep my promise?
Did I not endure with you ‘till the  end?
Until all my paper thin hopes have turned into ashes
Until my love for you just burned away.

Burned like the coal in the  fireplace,
The firewood in the pits and candles in the dark
Has it all burned up that I have been spent?
Now tell me, did you keep your promise? Or do you still blame me?

When alone, we think
About people, things and topic
Gossips and rumors
Possible truths and murmurs

In the deafening silence,
We sit and ponder beyond
Of tomorrow with our grievance
Until in worries we but bond

The anxiety and endless choices
Possibilities and countless voices
Of guilt shouting over conscience
Of our doubts, we worry nonsense

The darkest thoughts and desires
About people we love and admire
Of things we lost in the fire
Of ****** choices we made full of ire

As social as we are
We find comfort in groups
Alone as we were
In Danger's hand our life droops

So never be Alone
In such a ***** fit
As we tend to step on sleet
In the throes of  depression and worry...
We have all but gone.

A message to the people who pretends,
The guy on the bus, and the lady next to me,
Last time I talked about depression,
Do you really know?

How it feels that something nonexisting
Eats you up and fills you with guilt?
How every waking moment is a painful reminder,
Of what have come and gone

Of every rejection and disdain,
Of every scorn and contempt,
Of every single word cutting like knives
The blood inside rolling down bare skin,

Do you really know?
The terrible tragedies my eyes have seen,
The constant rings of dead sounds in my ears,
And the memories replaying over and over,

And over and over and over
Like an endless sea of perpetual agony
Like the putrid breath unable to come off
It sticks like a velcro on glue.

Nowhere near have you seen
Nowhere near have you heard
Nowhere near have you experienced
The metallic taste of depression and the fear...

Of every friend and family dying
Of every rejection and frustration
Of everything in this whole ugly
Twisted and convoluted world

Do you really know?

In the darkest hour of his darkest night,
A man sat hunched with his dwindling light,
A sliver of hope behind all his fright,
Memories keeping him from giving up the fight,
For he just needed to make it through alright.

In the deepest crevice in his hollow heart,
Like an ancient piece of forgotten art,
Lay his very soul that keeps falling apart,
Every second stung like a poison dart,
His very being crumbles part by part.

In his sickened body runs so many a mark,
In his bloodless skin looks so very stark,
In his hollow head the eyes became dark,
Lifeless and empty as an abandoned park,
His parched throat struggling to bark.

He just needed to pass through tonight,
Keeping all the monsters at bay with all his might,
Making most of the warmth from his dying light,
And yet after all this senseless flee and flight,
His very old friend found him and said 'Goodnight'.

Like the darkness
we are
evil born
evil to spawn

What makes a perfect poem?
Is it the right words?
Or the right rhyme?
Or is it the way it is written?

Is it the twisted contents?
Or the emotions overflowing?
The relativity of it?
Or is it the surrealism?

Is it the way it makes people shiver?
Or just a plain smile in the lips?
Is it the fact that it is read a lot?
Or is it the poem at all?

So, what makes a perfect poem?

As I look closely on that stone grave
My eyes shed tears of molten pearls
A final wish to me you gave
"Please love me beyond the Grave"...

I am a wallpaper
Glued to love you on the wall
To just see you and stutter
Never to feel your love and all

Yet you peel me off the wood
Wear me and tear me off my place
Waiting to see if you would
One day replace me in a sudden daze

I'm hurt but can't complain
What I am to you is expendable
To recieve silently all the pain
To ruin me into nothing but rubble

You wreck me and cause me to crumble
All I wanted was for you to notice
That I am loving and humble
For me to be your loving cover