Not all puzzles are made
to be solved
not all
have a solution
some too easy
others too complicated

But jig-saws like her
you can't solve those
and you better not try
that is unless
you want to be
blamed
for the chaos you find
in each solution

Oh and the chaos in her voice
i was a boys who....
correction
i was the only boy
who found
peace in her chaos
and
love in that peace

Her voice was fire
blazing
burning
crackling
loud
clear
yet soft

That was when
the beauty of her noise
first rained on my dry heart
till
the time she walked away
her last words unclear
but her voice
still strikes me
days and nights

her voice
is blessing
still is for those who receive it
it's disappearance
a true curse it has proven to be

Why is it that we can be jealous of a thing we pushed away?
Is it because if I can't have it,
I don't want anyone to have it.
Let's call it,
Her.

Even though:
This jealousy is unfair;
To her,
To me.

Will your world come to a halt,
When one day my breaths will do;
Or it will be marked by laughter-
The signature of you?

You can fight
yourself
for all the mistakes
that stitched themselves
in your past
but you can also ally
with the aftermath
that molded you
into that sculpture
you are today

Power, oh Power
you manipulate the minds of grown men
they fight over you
many see you as the key to success
i see you as a monster
you are a fool to think
you have the whole world in your hands
you are a tool that one can use
not something to horde
many horde you
why don't you make them pay?
you are as selfish as those with power
Power, you are Unfair
Cruel and Terrible
you should be Generous
Caring and Kind
but you are not
you laugh at poverty
you smile at slaves
taxes entertain you
i don't need you Power

I hate migraines.
They don’t tell you
when they are coming,
and they never knock.

Instead you get an unwanted visitor
who is rude, loud, and causes pain.

It’s not fair
Who’d want that kind of visitor
coming again?

Stupid migraine!

**© 2017 Amanda D Shelton

i don't understand why you had to push me away.
i don't understand why you had to keep on running away;
where the pressure for commitment came from;
where the idea of 'you deserve better' came from.
i loved you despite your flaws; despite the shortcomings.
i loved you despite the fact that loving you means i have no assurance; that the future for the both of us is unclear.
i loved you even though that means i have to wait for nothing at all.
loving you meant i have nothing to hold on to.
loving you meant i had to take a risk.

i never expected anything from you.
i just wanted you to appreciate me for who i am; to acknowledge the love i have given you.
but all you did was to push me away; to shut me down; to tell me to love someone else.
recently, all i've felt is that i have to prove myself to you:
just so you could realise that i am worth your time;
that things could work between us.

i still don't understand why you had to push me away when i've always chosen to see the best in you. all you've chosen to see in me was the burden of my affection for you.

The bitter irony of life
Is this:
It's the people with trust issues
Who hate being lonely
It's the people with everything
Who hate existing
It's the people with the widest smiles
Who hate smiling
It's the people who need love the most
Who remain unloved
It's the weak
Who are forced to be strong
It's the forgotten
Who long to be remembered

It is the shadow
That's frightened of the darkness
It's the chained
Who long to soar
It is the numb
Who long to feel
It is the people who crave an end to their suffering
Whom death eludes

All dressed up
With nowhere to go
A phone full of numbers
With no one to call
Guess I should have replied
To all the messages I got sent
Instead, I shut everyone out
That when you pay the price
In behind these lonely eyes
Lies dormant emotions inside
Ready to awaken from this slumber
Oh how I wish I could rewind
Make better decision in my life

Sympathy ain't found here
You made your own decisions
It should be crystal clear
Why you're all alone
Staring at your shadow
Upon the wall
Hoping, waiting for somebody to call

That is when you hear
Just deal with it
No, I won't give in
Just deal with it
Can't shake this
Sinking feeling
I won't just deal with it
I won't give in
I'll keep fighting
till my last breath
I won't just deal with it
Deal with it

Late night drives
Just don't work like they used to
I need someone till fills this void
There's a hole in my soul
Looking for a spark
Looking for a jumpstart
To reenergize my heart
There's something in my mind
Trying to stay optimistic
That it'll all be okay
But there's still no sign
Of an end to all this rain
There still no cure
To this pain.

Sympathy ain't found here
You made your own decisions
It should be crystal clear
Why you're all alone
Staring at your shadow
Upon the wall
Hoping, waiting for somebody to call

That is when you hear
Just deal with it
No, I won't give in
Just deal with it
Can't shake this
Sinking feeling
I won't just deal with it
I won't give in
I'll keep fighting
till my last breath
I won't just deal with it
Deal with it

They say home is where the heart is
Never has a line ever been so true
That why I'm out in the darkness
Searching for you
Looking for a little light
To brighten my sky
Somehow I hold onto hope
Everything's gonna work out right
Somehow I figure
I'm gonna find you
At just the right time

Sympathy ain't found here
You made your own decisions
It should be crystal clear
Why you're all alone
Staring at your shadow
Upon the wall
Hoping, waiting for somebody to call

That is when you hear
Just deal with it
No, I won't give in
Just deal with it
Can't shake this
Sinking feeling
I won't just deal with it
I won't give in
I'll keep fighting
till my last breath
I won't just deal with it
Deal with it

©2017 Written By Benji James