I talk to myself,
my father isn't fond of it.

Will I really end up alone...
like he tells me, when I talk to myself.

... I answer no

But, when no one is around...
does it matter who I talk to?

Because...

I'd rather talk aloud, to myself, so I know...
That my thoughts are my own.

So tell me another beautiful lie
Tell me everything I want to hear
Won't you lay here by my side?
I want to **** away all my fear

-b.d.

Tell me where should I start?
Tell me how should I do my part?
Cuz' I wanna free my heart,
And undo this and restart.

All those things,
all the misunderstandings,
all the happy beginnings,
and even all the saddest endings.

I just want to be with you,
Just tell what should I do.
I want more of you,
And that's how I love you.


- 12102k15

i recently tried writing you a poem and partially succeed.

but then I thought, it wasn’t sincere enough, you wouldn’t believe it.

i don’t want to write something I can easily just tell you aloud.

i want to write something that i can’t.
something that can only be expressed in written words better than said.
something to look back when I want you to feel that.

i want to write something that’ll make you feel something rather than know.
like seeing is believing, that’s what those feelings are for.

i rather not tell, it’s better for me to show.

sure there are words, but actions are worth much more.

post it online
while you hold your wine
hold your whine
why don't you
tell me?
tell me about it
about ****
and girls with *****
about how you read Vonnegut
how **** makes you feel weird
but you snort coke
and you're trying to grow a beard
and your broke
and wish you lived in Europe
or in the 1920s
tell me *******
animal mothers
about your great luck
how you don't give *****
and your jokes are like minorities
poor and unappreciated
defeated
i'm bleeding
delete this.

You and 12 friends like this.

Most kids
Are afraid
To tell
Their parents
They're gay
But if they
Decided to
Come out
I'd say

"Why in the ******* did you tell me sooner?"

Everything you know and all that you have learnt in the past,
one thing will always be there to remember, never forget the past.

Lessons learnt in the past need to be recalled, revised and remembered
No one knows,
no one can tell,
no one can predict,
when the need of the hour arises,
when it becomes necessary to recall and remember a thing from past.

True, absolutely true
A thing from past better remain in the past, but that also means never forget the past.

Always remember all that is important from the past,
never erase and forget everything about the past.
No one knows when a thing from past will come to rescue in the present.

When you learn new things
When you try all the time to remember something in a different way
Always remember one thing, everything belongs to the present
So no need to worry about the future.

It’s important to keep learning
Important to keep in mind that over a period of time the present will become a thing of past,
the future will then become present and everything will change simultaneously.

So whatever you have learnt and all that you know,
Better keep in mind and always remember
Nothing lasts forever.

Neither the past, nor the present and also in the future things will remain different
So even with all the changes that have taken place in the present as well as in the future, always remember, never stop learning new lessons.

I know this doesn't get me any promises of forgiveness, and I know how much things have been a mess lately and I refused to deal with it. But there are things I should have said instead of counter-arguing and berating you.

I've forgotten to tell you how I've been so excited to learn coding because I like to think it gets me a little closer to you, maybe even lets me understand you a bit more.

I've forgotten to tell you how though I have trouble sleeping having you beside me really comforts me, and though its beyond creepy I'll look at you to feel better.

I've forgotten to tell you how I love going to the movies with you, and hearing you get excited and involved in the story, and its like you forget all your school troubles for awhile, something I seem to have forgotten to do.

I've forgotten to tell you how I'm stupidly afraid to ask you to do things, like kiss you til we're dizzy, giggle til our cheeks hurt, or have really good *** (thought about that a lot today, but I was too much of a ******* to say something).

I've forgotten to tell you that you light up my day, and though I'm a moody ******* even just being around you helps. I know I don't act like it, but it does, so I need to get some ***** and just ask you on a date like a middle schooler and get that out of the way.

I've forgotten to tell you how I started a new novel, and that my mood diary has been going up lately in moods. That I was really hoping that at least my time with you next week won't be so bad.

I've forgotten to tell you that I want us to play mass effect, even if it means I'll swoon over Garrus half the time. I promise all my kisses are reserved by you.

I've forgotten to tell you how worried I've been for you, about your friends being more distant. I've been trying to just let you do whatever, at my own expense. Alone time is great (especially for these poems and homework and figuring out that new novel) but I should have been more open about it. Communication is key, especially for us, and I should have been more open about things.

I've forgotten to tell you how afraid I've been of being lost without you after next fall, but I just need to get my ***** in place and enjoy my time with you. Its silly to ruin time you have for some separation in the future.

I've forgotten to tell you that you look so **** sometimes, but I don't want to bother you because I know school worries you. And I know that goes with the bad communication stuff again, and I need to get my **** together, because I know you wouldn't mind a **** time or two.

I've forgotten to tell you that I really love horror movies, especially bad ones, and I really love Photoshop, and I really love tech at the moment, and I really love Diablo 3, and I really love spending time with you and yes I agree alone time is good and I shouldn't get angsty at bad times and make you think I never want you alone. I need to get my afraid bar to cool its rollers.(PS that's my new favorite phrase) You are my favorite person and I should and want to tell you everything. I need to get this together.

I've forgotten to tell you I've been trying to lose weight again, less because I hate myself and more because I want to look hotter for you, and have been eating less sweets and less food in general.

I've forgotten to tell you I want to learn to make paper cranes and watch gargoyles and be more in-tune with you. I'll watch Super Troopers, I'll even watch Master in Disguise, if you truly want to. I can't just say no to everything you want to do together. Why? Because if I always say no to together things, you'll start always doing them alone.

I've forgotten to tell you that your scruff is adorable and its kinda hot you're a little taller and your hair is beautiful. That I love goofiness and tickles and nose kisses and **** grabs and making you smile. I know I've messed things up but I want to all I can in my power to get it together, because you are special. You once told me you were like a shooting star and hard to catch and I rolled my eyes, but you are. I love you and have never met someone like you before.

I've forgotten to share my stories and my life and all the things that made you love me and even me love me, and I'm going to fix that. I will not sit by and let you forget me.

One last thing.

I've forgotten to tell you I love you oodles, and that will never change.