Standing in the middle
of an Old Navy,
waiting on my boo
to finish trying on clothes.
I always feel so out of place
shopping for cute things,
like I'm just not girly enough.
I'd rather go play around
in the toy aisle.
I never was one for matching
prints and colors
and figuring out make-up patterns.
Maybe one day I'll grow up,
figure this stuff out,
but god, I hope not.

I bought my happiness at the dollar store; ninety nine cents, plus tax.
I threw the wrapping in the trash inside,
Before I'd even left the store.
I wore it then, the whole way home,
to dinner and to bed.
I even wore it in my dream,
The best sleep I'd ever had.

When I woke in the morning, with great dispare, my happiness was gone.
So here I stand in line again,
With ninety nine cents in hand.

Forgotten crosses in the clearance section-
religion has become cheap.

This is the place where people come to forget that they will die one day.

They let their conscience build up on the linoleum floor in puddles,
deep and dark
And follow the crowd to the next store
And the next
And the next.

This place will bleed you.
It will tear your pockets out of your clothing
And your children’s hands from yours.

A new shirt.
A new TV.
Well done.
You’ve done well.

But when you leave the white walls
The music tinny and dim
Escalators and litter
You still won’t feel free.

Maybe you're the colosseum. The code to get through the glass doors is actually just '1954'. You could put up the painting of me at auction, or I could take a cruise from London to the Islands North of Siberia, a stop in a department store in Northern Greece. I stop and take a ride in the middle front-third seat of a older friend's younger brother's car, and force all of them to come outside and see the spider's eggs at Bob-o-Link. Massive cornucopias of cotton walls entwined with silk.

In the department store I ask to be introduced to someone who can take me by the hand and recognize me by my number, show me everything I'll need to shoot a full-length feature, even how I can get to Prague so I can do a little shopping. But the horror of seeing is so frightening, and the girl that I came with wants to do nothing.

I find a little shop selling Czech candies, music, and newspapers, so I try to buy everything but the horror is getting closer. I'm in a lazy Susan, how often does that happen? One more turn and I'll lose my stomach contents and then I won't need anything.

I take a climb up a street that says "Smrzlinu Ahead," but the houses on the street are all either empty or boarded up. I drift in the soccer field, watching my legs, looking over my shoulder. I fall for a pile of clothes that can hide me but are also very soft to lay in.

Another cruise- tropical, perhaps? Somewhere for coy adults, who shed their skin in Winter when their eyes start molting off. Someday I will place both hands into the ocean, I'll dream huge, and go swimming until I start to laugh. One day I'll sink to the floor of the bourn, maybe the same day I wake up and I'm not swimming alone.