I want you to know that my heart is yours. You have me hooked. And I never stop thinking about you. And I’m falling in love with you but I’m trying so hard not to. I’m afraid to let go because in one way or another, even if you catch me, history says I’ll sooner or later be dropped from your arms, off a ledge.
And my wings aren’t repaired yet I’m not ready to fly.
And I wish I could tell you all of this.
(I hope you don’t think me saying it’s okay is a lie)
But I’m so broken that the connection between my heart and my mouth was severed by the shards.
So instead I support you in what you want and wish that you could read my mind and know that even though it’s okay, it hurts. I wish you knew that in order for me to learn to trust you enough to stop putting up walls, you need to be persistent. I want you to want me but not out of obligation.
I will always leave the door open.
I hope you don’t feel inclined to use it.

She confuses me a lot
She is different now
A winding unstoppable force
And I hate it
I am unable to hold her
To understand what she has become
She is so far away from me
Stepped miles towards somewhere I cannot follow
I do not know her anymore
Who is she to me?
What do I owe her?
She has lost the right to call me anything
She acts as an acquaintance
I just want her back
The way I remember her
When she used to care
To inspire
To be there
When she was still known by my soul
I am deeply torn by her
And she doesn't even know

Inside a forest of my own making
where the vines are merciless and though dreams may die the evergreen awakens

I must be patient,
and follow the voice at my core

through these arches, roots, through the self-made distrust
that manifests as branches sharp enough to divide me
so I’m on guard like a sentinel

You think you’ve been starved of serenity
well I have a Chimera’s hunger and a sage’s mind

a lethal combination
and I'm killing more than time
I’m after my former self
since I need a rebirth and some revenge
because that man wasted centuries caught in vicious cycles

when the key to escape was right there between two temples.

If I were to die tonight,
Will anyone ever wonder
Where I go
Or how I went?

If I were to die tonight,
Will my research
Be finished without me
And my friends graduate?

If I were to die tonight,
How will I ever explain
Not going back to school, or passing my requirements?
Will my teachers even care, or will they fail me?

If I were to die tonight,
Will a seat be empty
During the college entrance test
At the testing site?

If I were to die tonight,
Will a classroom ever notice
How one student is gone?
Or will they simply dismiss it as me being late?

If I were to die tonight,
Will all my bad memories
Dissipate into the air,
Or will people still talk bad about me?

If I were to die tonight,
Will all my mistakes vanish
Or am I taking all of them to my grave,
Dying with humiliation?

If I were to die tonight,
How will I be remembered?
Am I simply a stupid kid,
Or am I just dust of the Earth?

If I were to die tonight,
Will my family ever realize
How much I've been asking for help
But they simply dismissed it?

keep the doors shut,
keep them closed.
when the wind blows, don’t let them open,
don’t let the doors go.
the knocking sound calls you to open up,
but don’t let careless emotions show!
keep the doors shut!
no matter how many knocks you hear below!

keep the doors shut,
keep them closed.
when voices start to grumble inside,
it’s tempting to let world know.
feeling like a hero?
maybe like that open gate’s a grove,
where people will be safe inside,
where people will find a home!
get rid of all your lies!
your words could never bring them hope!
keep the doors shut!
for they will always choose that rugged road!

-keep the doors shut
because opening them
only lets the darkness in
every time your try to show the light-

-keep the doors shut
because mosquitoes make their hives
right outside the walkway light
and come inside in expert time,
enough to **** your blood-

-keep the doors shut,
for being a symbol is a wanton game,
a desire to be held the same,
praised and pulled in every way!
don’t you love the spotlight gaze!
and the feeling of a voice heard in a moments daze!
your words plastered on some expensive page!
it’s good enough for a pleasant date,
but turns your heart into a bad omen-

All this
Talk
Talk
Talk

No one is any better

No one ever changes

I'm hoping for a better life
I hope to not follow their footsteps

Talk
Talk
More talk

I'm so tired
My ears might explode

I'm not sure how much I can take
before I let it all out

I noticed that my veins are blue
maybe that's the reason why
my insides have no clue
and my hands keep reaching out while I cry

over and over and
over
in an instant
silent
again
already
really?

I think this time I broke a record
how fast can you lose?
All those poems, while may be deep, still seem to fall short
and the right thoughts I easily diffuse
For

an answer
a clear head
a simple feeling
a loveable thread

Yeah, that is maybe
what I want exactly
for you to threaten me
with pure intensity

Where do all those empties come from anway?
Am I so full that I count for two
And only the shallows look my way,
are you one of them, too?