The car slows down
and in the moment
so does the sound,
all I can hear is my heart.

The car stops and so do I,
as I start to cry
I let everything out
that was being held inside.

Be open to my closedness
Resistance comes in many forms
Fear – is my resistance fear?
Fear of opening up, fear of going too far
Write, just write it all down
How it felt when she kissed my head and thanked me
Thanked me for speaking, for sharing
How it feels having a blanket placed over me
How it feels to have found a tribe
How to stay with self?
Just like this – by doing it
Answerable to no-one
Nothing to prove to anyone.
Relationship with men comes from relationship to father?
Don’t let them see all of me
Keep the wild, the introvert, the poetic soulful side back
Fit in with them, how they want me to behave
Don’t ask the challenging questions
Don’t hurt them
Don’t bring up hurtful topics
Don’t leave him – it will hurt him
Is it hurting me to stay?
Still don’t know
The other is constantly there.
Think of the possibility merely the possibility of resistance becoming connection
Don’t have to understand that sentence – don’t make sense of it
Merely consider the possibility.
Resistance becoming connection.
Can feel my mind working out the time, thinking about food
It’s all fine, observe the thoughts, don’t attach
The medicine is working, it is working
Don’t have to do anything
Go with the rhythm, trust the inner rhythm.
I can feel me here – no past, no future, just me.

If I did love you,
I would have to open
to the vastness
of your universe,
and breathe so
deeply

If I did love you,
I would have to loosen
the tight chains
on my heart,
and free fall  
slowly

If I did love you,
I would have to allow
the sultry song
of your soul
to flow through
me

If I did love you,
I would have to embrace
the emerging reality
of my dreams
expressed into
being

If I did love you,
life could be
a dance of joyful
self discovery and
healing

Nervous tick, like a beating drum, thumping, dumping.....

Pouring, waves, into your chest, waves of pure blue.

And electricity shoots through like a power surge
A fluttering heart cracks open ideas, waves of amazement
And dreams of vulnerability
And dreamers of fleeting ideas, caught in one giant (tornado)

Always a mess, undressed - eyes of green, blue, sage, summer days - wasting away

Are the feelings reciprocated?

Until a physical touch, is no longer caught in the distance. Until a physical touch is mentioned in your prescience

And all your tornados became storms of grey, black, and darkness shrouded your thoughts until you were touched with hesitancy.... with consistency.... with assurance

Every gesture,
From every glance to every touch.
Was thoroughly apart of her.
A celebration of confetti scattered about her eyes.
A ****** of adoration.
Her toes bare, gripping the bottom of her shoes through her socks.
An extension of what's felt inside still unseen.
The glow of her skin.
The mess made in her eyes without need for a dust pan nor push broom.
The fluid and grace of being alive without restriction.
She made love outside for all to see.
The wisp of cold air made warm by her sigh.
The door to her now open, doorstop wedged in the crease beneath the door.
In a look exchanged between the thousands of days between her eyelids.
She uttered please don't make slam the door
This is what makes it sacred

As the night turns to day
I wish you walk yourself to my way

Open up your heart
And slowly make me a part

Let me ease the pain
Together let's break the chain