teardrops on a bedroom pillow
blood drops into the bathroom sink
my heart drops into my stomach
my voice drops to a monotone whisper
my body drops to the floor
my mother drops me off at the hospital
morticians drop my body into the casket
the priest drops the casket into the earth
the worms drop into my hollow chest

morning lights an overdose
easy breathing in the honey glow.

the light pushes through my dead plants
illuminating the wrinkled petals

the wind blows soft and smooth
my eyes are heavy and dim.

behind the lids dance cosmicly
patterns and queer visions.

leaving the real world to seek the truth
ill bring you back some flowers.

i am imagining my guts spilt all over
your bedroom floor;
and you are licking my skin clean of all the
***** blood -

but the bones are all white and strong,
built tough from the labored years
of having a life
not worth living.

you will pick your teeth with them and call the police -
tell them:

there's been an emergency...
i'm a killer, stone cold killer
and there is no blood on my hands

Sorry babe I lost my shadow
Just like Peter Pan
I may be a little bit hollow
But I can fly
I can show you why
Tinkerbell
A hollow shell
Find me captain hooks hell
Mr Smee
Find me please
I'm hiding here in pixie hollow
Finding peace without the sorrow
The mermaids tried to drown me
Peter Pan tried to save me
But you can't save a sinking ship
The Jolly Roger on a dip
The Indians fighting them
Never land comes to end
Wendy has grown up
John went off to college
Michael is a drug addict
And Peter is a saddist.
Say goodbye to neverland
As Captain Hook gets his wish
And Peter dies,
Drowned like a fish.

Getting so lost again in my thoughts
Thought for a while I could find a way
Talk it out, sing it loud, nullify the pain
But the nerves are here, never to fade

Every time that I find myself awake
When I should be unaware
These thoughts keep me in chains

Talking past fringe friends I've never known
Regretting yet again the fact I've staked my claims all on my own

And I need to share
The half of me still self aware
All I want you to see
Is the part of me I'll never be

It all looks so ideal
Staring in a mirror
With a picture of you next to me
A pedestal for all to see

To keep me in a frame
Colored just a tad deranged
From laughing in the pain
Pretending I've  been bleeding just the same

But I've got to say
I'm sad, but it is all a stage
A sliver screen, my own display

Bonds are forged out of a flame
And living has only found me cold
Frictionless and meaningless
Or so I've been told

Somehow, life finds me here, alone

But It won't be long now, and it won't matter so much

I'm waiting to get sick
so I can die without doing it myself
without a mess, lying in a bed
with the blankets tucked in around my head
I think I might be sick
or maybe I'm just being hopeful
that this will be over quick
maybe they could catch it early if I cared
but it's very hard to see myself anywhere
but lying down, somewhere dark and underground
or maybe in a jar on someone's shelf

-- who am I kidding, I'm a closet girl

I'd leave a perfect world
by my own virtue it would seldom ever grow
I watched this, your flag unfurl
Never though a match could make me feel so low

I stand and watch it burn
Crushed by the silence you began to show
There is no lesson learned
I walk away, yet you don't watch me go

Step inside see my life from my own perspective
Witness my infanticide
Crumbling cursed, each new notion rejected

I am my one true love
But still infatuation leaves me feeling breathless
Unfit unfaithful holy one
Did you belive you could disconnect me

This city has a gun
Evidence is mounting all against me
Witness the setting sun
Smoking skyline sick, and watch it fall free

Counter terrorist far too late
My toll I took, all I could take
Robbery of the first degree
First degree burns
God you're so **** pretty

There was always a disconnect
This life promises to be full of discontent
And regret
Make no mistake
Every time I set something fake
Into concrete and incased
My free will it was faux
I let my emotion lay low
And now I'm going

Sorry about the mess, man