I strum Pawn Shop Blues
on my guitar
An ode to you
A longing
A calling
Hoping the sounds
of the soft chords
Float up to the moon
And fall back to the Earth
Right in front of you

I wish I could transform into a dove
Just so I could watch down on you from above
My eyes full of pure love
But you are so far gone

I don't even know where to start looking
for you

Speak to me through the radio
I always have it turned on
And I will always be listening  

I am afraid to step into the future
I am afraid it will never be as golden
As when we lied down in the grass together
I'm scared I'll never find any love even close to yours
Not now or ever

RHCP on my car's radio
My thrills are found on the backroad
I live in my memories
I never let anything go

You don't care
But I still do
Push me far away
I fall back to you
Cant make you love me
I just wish you would

I stay awake all night
Just to see the morning light
The blue and gold
The melting colors of the sunrise
Have shown me
That change is beautiful
But I'm scared of anything new

I miss you
I always will
I wonder if you still write little poems
Just like you used to

If you wrote a letter to the moon
Would you beg for her not to go down
Anytime soon?
So that her silver light would never fade
And you would never leave me
No, you would only stay

I've been disappointed
I put the ones I loved on the highest
shelf
as if they can do no wrong
I often forget to take a look at myself

Should I run away
From who I am
Should I cut my hair color it change my
name
Unfortunately I know I will act the same

I'm reminded of my own struggles
Everywhere I look
Why have I been quiet this entire time
Discouraging my own happiness

I only trust a select few
The artists the poets my mother
They have seen this cruel world
I find comfort in their views
For the understand the pain I go through

The pan is impossible to explain

There is no way to undue the past
I wish I would have shown more love
If I did
Maybe the one I loved would not have left
So fast

Time changes nothing
Each bad memory still burns
Waiting for the past to reveal something
What can I say I have learned?

pt 1  
the moon looked like a chunk of gold
the clouds trying to take hold
of the moons glow
but it's light cast on the lake
refusing to do as its told  
a shimmering stream of moonray
dances on the dark blue water
moves side to side
forbidden from restriction
all the unearthly beauty
moon, are you trying to hide something ?
you can tell me  
anything
moon can i ask, what is the closest star to the earth?
show me the dark side few see
i won't leave,
the truth doesn't scare me
i will stare in awe as your wisdom falls down to the earth
pt 2
a heart made of garnet
a pack of reds
satin sheets cover my bed
a conscious as heavy as lead
love that is strong  
love that finally doesn't feel wrong
love that won't fall apart
living in a daydream
i hate to check the time.
it would only remind me that this moment has an expiration  
so i'll forget to check the clock
i'll just get lost in the hydrangea, lilac, hyacinths and daisies
no.
i will not let the time jade me

i miss the spring time
i miss driving around with my windows down
the smell of cola and fresh limes  

i miss the warm breeze
i miss the chilly rain
i smile but all i feel is pain  

the music on my radio many hear,
but few listen
messages are hidden in night time shadows  
but you stare at the sun as it glistens

i miss the asphalt cowboys
and all the baby magick
i miss going a hundred down the highway
my car was melted silver, the most
beautiful metallic  

how does anyone bear
this heavy humanness
the feeling of being completely full
of emptiness?

time flys by.
time is lost.
wasted time
is the ultimate cost.

rock playing softly
an airplane flys
in a teal sky

i don't pick
the spring flowers
anymore

i only caress
the fallen petals
of the cherry blossom
i promise

i promise
i won't hurt you no more  

i want to be beautiful
and unseen
timid and growing

born from a dream
multifaceted
there is no capturing me

the spring sunshine
melts into my eyes
i try not to cry

"wish you were here" plays
there is no one to hold my hand
how i wish you would have stayed

my bird fly free
from your cage
fly down South
where the orange
groves are sweet
and where the sun never sets
on the golden sand
you'll be free from worry
free of gloom
and I hope to head down
to see you soon
no one matters to me  
only you
my baby bird so blue
blue enough to match the sky
as blue as the tears in my eyes  
when I told you goodbye

i'll hope and pray
you'll come back my way
eventually