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Survived Aug 2018
When you were there with me
We were dancing with glee

Late night talks, making each other blush,
smiling, laughing were our things
Everyday which gave me new wings

Thinking about our love i flew-up
Without taking any back-up

Then a day came when you were not there
That day even a sun felt hemisphere

I was there sitting alone in darkness
And blaming why God is so heartless

I texted and missed you a lot
But silence and despondency were what all i got

I am waiting
and I'll keep waiting for
my beloved to come back
If you see her
please tell her that she left someone
who is waiting for her on the half track.
A M Ryder Aug 2018
In such strange ways I strangely cannot understand
The horror of it all is we stay attracted to everything that hurts
We cling to it and never really learn to let go
So perhaps we do want happiness
But we also desire to keep the pain close; close enough to destroy us
Close enough to define us
Close enough to make us all feel a little less cold
Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2018
Part of myself died
This much I know is true
It's the piece of me I gave up
Attempting to save what was left of you
I killed a part of me for you
Amy Duckworth Aug 2018
It's a race.
We are all running in it.
But no one wins.
Unless they cheat.
Some people get lost on the way.
I am running.
Close to first.
But all I see is them laughing at me.
So I am crying out at them.
They won't stop.
They cheated.
So I am running still.
But it hurts.
I am trying so hard.
So I am running.
In the game of life.
ClawedBeauty101 Aug 2018
I'm so sick and tired of trying...
                                          Anything I try to accomplish leaves me dying

I hate this frustration... I hate this urge...
                  God, I'm waiting... I'm trying... This feeling I want to  purge

What do you want? What is it I need to do???
        I feel so lost... so far gone on the path I need to be on... I've been removed...

Can you see my trembling hands?... That are too heavy to lift?
               They are chained to the edge... This wasn't what I wished...

My stomach is ******* in knots... My body is ripping apart
Lord...YOU PUT THE SOUND IN THIS BEATING LIVING HEART

I AM SO SHAKE'N I am grasping on to the edge.... and I can't see the bottom
You tell me to let go.... and I stare at you with wide eyes... "What's the problem?"

My hands are being scratched as I try to hold on....bleeding and fading...
"I can't see the bottom... what if I don't survive when I reach it?" My body was shaking...

"I'll be there to catch you..." "Will it hurt? Lord, I'm so scared... Don't let me go.."
"My child... look... and believe.. and trust me... let go.."

I cried out... trembling in fear... so terrified.. wishing to live.
but at the same time... wishing I could die away to escape this pain... let it give...

"Let go...." "God...No...please no..." I begged, in a soft helpless voice...
You kneel down to me, my body slowly slipping away into the challenge of darkness. "Fine... You leave me no choice..."

You cut the chains... and watch me fall...
I found myself screaming... as I curled pathetically into a ball...

I whimpered... as my hair stood on end and entangled its self into a snarled web.
The speed of winds suffocate my nostrils, the free fall of emptiness hugged me "There is no hope..." it said

Am I the name of conflict? Why does it feel like I'm stuck into this eternal free fall of the same emotion?
The color never changes... only the shadows around me seem to be growing darker and closer with every motion...

"Lord... YOU SAID YOU WOULD CATCH ME!!!! SO WHERE ARE YOU!?!"
I cry as this vertical hole began to enclose and grow thinner... and there's nothing I can do...

Banged... Scrapped... Bruised... Injured... from my body forcefully going down this narrow hole...
Blood blocking my vision... wanting to die just to escape this torment... wanting to take back control...

I'm blacking out... let me see the light again... although all of this hurts... and it feels like it's all getting worse...
it's worth going through... because, Lord... I know you'll catch me... and build me back up...but stronger... through this one Hell of a course...

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                                            PLEASE CATCH ME
         I may not understand... and I may lose a limb or two...
I may want to die... I may not understand... but I won't stop..I trust
                                                       YOU!!
8.24.18
Survived Aug 2018
You know what hurts the most?

To be just friend with someone whom you truly love.
Not speaking to you is killing me!
But I didn’t choose this—you did,
which hurts even more...
You chose to walk away,
you chose to leave me here, deserted.
It’s taking all of my energy
to not text you,
to not call you,
to not scream at you
and ask why?

Why wasn’t I enough?
Why didn’t your soul want me, as mine wants yours?
Why did you lie to me and make me lose all trust in you?
Why did you make me fall if you weren’t willing to catch me?

My soul aches, and there’s nothing that will fix it. I will forever have a hole yearning for the future I envisioned.

I will forever miss you.

So done with the illusion of love.
Amanda Kay Burke Aug 2018
It hurts to send you
Poems knowing you don't care
Enough to reply
My poetry is meaningless to you
I hate that I have this feeling
A residency in my chest
Filled by an unexpected guest
That I cannot confess
Outside of subtle hints
Of what haunts nearly every thought
At least for a time
Until it is right

I keep that photo close
A rare moment
Probably so common
For people accepted
Maybe that's all it really is
What I actually feel
Just being a part of a family

Nevertheless
The truth is rather a mess
I know I shouldn't feel like this
But this is still the case
The place in my heart
Will always be there
In hopes that the soulful eyes
Will meet mine
To hold the heart
Like I owed when we part
I miss it greatly
To which I will keep to my vow
To do what I can
So it will always be there

The doors will always be open
The windows even cracked
If time allows it to happen
She will always have a way in

Perhaps
On the off chance the heart sees better
What my eyes cannot
And its childish wish
For this
Is granted by reality
I hope that they can see
What it is that nearly blinds me

A pure heavenly light in the darkness
The reason for the battle to greatness
To rest in the valleys
Seeding rose gardens with possibilities
Of the future past the expectations
Promised by the angels
Given that I followed the order
To push through and fight for the masses
That couldn't take the battles on their own
To bring about a world those people can feel safe in

That is what she brings out in me
A sense of purpose in this life
I had forgotten I had
In a time of hardship
Even if the wishes I cast never fulfill
The truth is I love her still
And see she was simply meant
To revive the part of me that died

I have to accept that may simply be the case
As anything more may simply be fantasy
As for now I cannot be anything more to her
Than a watchful overseer and friend
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