Spark up the cigarette, my emotions are about to hide behind the smoke
I lay my head down and tears start telling my pillow all my secrets.
Just like the sun rises and sets, this routine is my escape.
Each tear holds my fear, my worry, my happiness
How do I live on leaving my teacher of love behind
How do I continue my journey with no surety that she sleeps well?
How do I leave my protector behind
What if the teacher is tired and she doesn’t notice the protector sleeping in the cold?
How do I leave my, my parents, behind
How do I give my siblings the freedom to experience life?
Someone once told me that I have to be selfish so I can live
How does one live a selfish life with no regrets?
How is being selfish the only answer to creating happiness measured by the world and not you?
I have lived the life of selfishness, loved it, cherished it, and allowed it to destroy me.
Selfishness is wine some like it fresh and some old just like memories.
You can try to sell the stories of your life for money but certain memories won’t escape your tongue.
The reason you breathe
The reason you smile
The reason why you understand
Memories are the reason.
Memories can also be the reason you are pushed over the edge but
Memories are the reason you question
When Is it right to stop breathing without hurting everyone
When is it okay to sleep with darkness and tell your secrets while tangled up in a sweaty war of who’s the saddest
One day you’ll have the urge to leave with everyone's blessings and know they'll be there in one piece when you return.
Your mind won’t let you rest if this act is one to harm others

These days smiling feels expensive and every time I bargain disappointment dances in my heart
It's best to expect that everyone is bad because surprises are better than expectations drowning in boiled wine
Oh well, by the time you are done reading I would have bargained for the cheapest happiness that lasts until the next trigger.
Let me take the happiness and share it before it reaches its expiry date.

Have you ever just stared at a window and question it's strength?
How can it endure the horrific sound of man and the mood swings of mother nature?
How can it hold the cold away from the wicked that transformed it from sand to glass
It cries silently as we mold and beat it
The grain of sand once had dreams.
It wanted to be the first to see the sea before it's friends
It wanted to be part of a house near the beach
Yet
Here it is staring at the empty quad
Where students meet and greet but forget if they don't get what they desire
Friends is a new label that can only be given if you get 9/10, losing 1 mark because you no billionaire.
The same way the world stole grain, they stole a 7 year olds happiness.
Somewhere in the world, there she stands.
She sees the world through her dad’s dusty specs.
Everyday she sees a man die.
She hopes for her dad’s return.
Every night she sits in a corner wrapped around her mother's ****** dress.
Hoping she is not next
She no longer screams, her voice stolen by the men in black
She hears silence.
Ears filled with dried up blood
People see pillars falling
She sees innocent slaughtered
We see what we want to see
She sees what she is forced to see
Soon she will be next
Soon the world will mold and beat her into a slave of storytelling
She lives in nightmares we fear
Yet no help.
She silently cries and stares at a broken window
She relies on memories of good to sleep but sleep is a shuttered window that will cut you when u touch it.
Her mom’s smile is like an empty quad, it's there but it's void.
Her dad’s eyes are like the students, used to half its use. His daughter needed it most and no one understood why he couldn't see far.
Window meet Her.
Her meet your future, a window in the middle of nowhere living the life others have molded.
Im Sorry.

Smile.
Have you ever seen a fish frown when it's stabbed?
Have to ever heard trees cry when they fall?
Have you ever tried to catch the smile of a happy bird?
Why can’t you stick to the happy memories?
Everyday is new
Everyday a note is taken
Why do we need to have more electrons in life when we can gather all protons and be a happy nuclear?
What’s the point of trying to please a million snails when you can have one happy dog?
Why not dance to everything and judge nothing?
Remember that one smile that made u cry?
Why remember it if it made you cry.
Remember that song that made all good memories come to life?
Now play that song as you read the rest

There is no point in fighting for something that is hurting you.
There is a reason why you can smile
There is a reason why negative can be positive when equated properly
No one is perfect but you are the role model of someone else.
What you do may not affect me but it will affect those who look up to you and yourself.
Sometimes we forget that even if our role model messes up, we have excuses for them.
Mess up.
Clean up.
If they judge you, laugh because you can deal with your problems and they look at you with their luggage of problems so that they can compare to you.
No one can hurt you.
You can solve everything in your life.
You can’t be a hero to all
You can’t be a failure to yourself.
You too good to fail yourself.
So hold on to your smile.

Ever cried so much?
Ever tried it under the rain?
She did.
She cried as the rain started pouring.
She knew the world felt her pain as they shedded tears together.
She cried so much that she forgot that she was crying and wondered where her tears where going.
Has the world taken all the tears from her passed and showered her with it to prove she is strong?
Has her tears dried up on her skin and covered with makeup?
She looks down to the stain on her shirt. Her makeup.
She always her pain from the human eye
But never from the world's energy
The world watched her cry from afar with no ways to hold her
The world saw her smile as people pierced needles through her bruised heart
The world looked away when she puked her air out when she cried
The world cried when she thought she was happy
But not today
She cried with the world.
Her pain
Her sorrows
Her bruises
Her broken smile poured down her face as the world cried with it's own pain
Where did her tears flow to?
That’s the secret the world hides from us as we cry with it.
It holds it away from as, because we deserve to smile.
For real once in awhile

What happened to the rainbow people.
Corruption planted itself in government and grew higher than the Real yellowwood
Striking and burning necessities is our new flag
Strangers with the right to be here are Ashes
Strangers with plans are supported for their abundance of drugs
Hospitals are important; said the tavern
Burn it down; said the proud people
The elders should be respected; said our parents
**** and record; said the killers
Let's go viral.
Police will always help you is taught by schools
Only help after 3 hours replied Police academies
School is an endangered topic
Youth falling victims at the hands of the very people who are supposed to care for them
Children hurting teachers
Teachers hurting kids
Welcome to a journey of wonderful education that is years behind on information
You learn to **** or cheer the killers
Depending on moods
We show our competitors that we weak
We can’t stand together when we need
We frown at fleeing springboks
We smile as we step on our Protea
So much has changed
The rap game is to shame others
The new songs can't be related songs
Only hyped up words of courage in ***, an *** is an ***
Country getting touched by a man spinning in front of cops as kids get beaten and murdered right under their nose
Criminals are charged after a year
Murders have learned about bail
Justice is an old topic
Fathers being cheered for young girls
Mothers hunting for fresh boys
Cheer on, cheer on.
Who you are is not accepted unless you funny
Your gender is a disgrace unless is trending
You have no voice unless America says it first
Geniuses lie amongst us
Bullied to not think
Every day someone is shot.
Gun and Camera
A country filled with videographers and darkness. Eskom
How to record in darkness is what we do best. Our Motto
Everything is funny until it happens to us. Our reality

She stood still as life stood before her
Her path unclear
Her memories fighting one another
Her demons sing the hymn her heart beats
Life stood before her with claws that took lives away
She tried to run
Her blood filled with truth and depression
Causing her to stand still
Her mind filled with plans to run away
Her painful memories won
She learnt life had 3 choices
Live, run or die
She tried all and failed all
Living and breathing became hard
She lost meaning and saw a trampled heart
Her heart stepped and bruised by the people she loved
Her body used like a tissue on a hot summers day.
Only purpose is to clean up.
She searched for a place to bury her heart but only found more humans created to harm.
Her blood flowed in disappointment and regret as she ran passed life and met death.
Death gave a warm welcoming hand
With eyes that glittered the face with truth of pain
She knew death stole the identity of life
But confrontations was her weakness
She found a calmness that death gave her
A calmness that turned all good, bad
She ran back
She sat in between life and death for she had nowhere to run
The world she stole the blame from pushed her away
The river that welcomed her with wickedness was rejected due to past teachings..
Now she remains in a world of confusion and accepting of everything.