"Write hard and clear about what hurts." -- Ernest Hemingway

It hurts that my grandmother might not be around for my wedding
It hurts that my grandfather may be, but may not remember it
It hurts that I live so far my from people I love
It hurts knowing they will hurt when I tell them I want to move clear across the country
It hurts that I am stuck here, facing people I would rather avoid
It hurts that a place I called home has turned on me
It hurts more that I may be imagining they have turned on me
It hurts to think I may have disappointed the first person to give me a chance
It hurts that people I once called friends will speak so bitterly about me
It hurts that, ten months later, I so strongly miss someone who melds perfectly with us
It hurts that she would rather run than even attempt to see what it's like
It hurts that she may act so calm, as if nothing happened
It hurts that her facade is so strong, while mine crumbles at the sight of her
It hurts that the longer we go on, the more we risk becoming "that creepy older couple"
It hurts that it hurts him, when I still speak of wanting another
It hurts that I would not be complete without one or the other
It hurts that so many friends are married, and growing families
It hurts that I will have to defend my own choices in growing mine
It hurts that I must defend my family to my family
It hurts that so many people work the job that pays the bills, and the job they really love
It hurts that the job I love must be revealed strategically
It hurts that who I am must be revealed strategically
It hurts anticipating the hurt that will come from that judgement
It hurts when I try to broaden my horizons, and I can see the hurt in my best friend's eyes
It hurts watching people not fulfill their full potential
It hurts watching people work so hard, but still gain so little
It hurts working so hard in my job, becoming so tired that my joy, my passion falls by the wayside
It hurts that we work so hard for things that do not truly comfort us
It hurts that we take so little for granted
It hurts that we take so many for granted

Swelling and drowning

I feel it coming on again

I can’t stop it anymore and it’s swallowing me whole

I let it take

                  me

                          away

because it’s so much easier to drift than fight to stay.

I slowly recover, head pounding from the aftermath

But not for long

Thinking kills

Realization hurts

Breathing becomes jagged

I can’t stop it and I let it stir me, wind me, push me, kick me, hit me, punch me

I give in

Because it’s so much easier to walk around feeling dead than pray for a heartbeat.

It hurts

It hurts

It hurts

It hurts

It hurts

It hurts

It hurts

It hurts

And I don’t even know why but I let it

I ignore the hectic and frantic screams rumbling from inside me

I ignore it all because it’s so much easier than to put the effort in and listen

I just want to fly away and be the bird

Sing my song in the morning and fly away and drift off whenever it hurts

Because it hurts

It hurts

It hurts

It hurts

But I can’t and I’m stuck

Forever dwindling between the scale ranging from hurt to happiness

Falling short of okay most days

But you mask it with a painted smile and go on

Even though it hurts

It hurts

It hurts

It hurts

It hurts

And I don’t have a right to feel it

But I do

And it won’t go away

I ignore it but I’m not who I was

It’s not that easy anymore

And I hate myself for letting it get to this

Because now it hurts

When it should feel numb

When I was able to feel numb

It hurts

It hurts

It hurts

It hurts

It hurts

I know you don't care anymore but..

It hurts when I breathe
It hurts when I speak
It hurts when I convince myself
To get back on my feet
It hurts to see a smile
And to drown in the rain
It hurts so ******* much
I think all I know is pain
It hurts to watch love movies
It hurts to be alone
It hurts to see the pictures
Still sprawled throughout our home
It hurts to wake up everyday
And hurts to close my eyes
It hurts to take these lonely walks
Under the darkness in the sky
It hurts to look at women
It hurts to pretend
It hurts so ******* much
Will this ever end?
It hurts when you come and trample
Through my dreaming mind
It hurts when I wake up
and can not press rewind
It hurts when I see your number
And when you text me too..
I think it hurts so much..
Because my heart is still with you
You never gave it back
And now it hurts to live..
A man now less than loving
With so very much to give
It hurts to see you laughing
And it hurts to fake the role
And pride will not allow myself
To ever be made whole
It hurts so ******* much..
I'm losing my ******* mind
On **** here she comes
Hey yeah I'm doing fine

When it hurts it hurts.
When sadness grips my throat I let it linger.
I let the breath in my lungs dissipate.
Because why does it matter?

When it hurts it hurts.
When the air is leaving my body and memories flood in,
I don't care if I have no air.
The next best thing is the death of the old.

But the problem is whenever it dies and I have "Moved on" it's a lie.
I get dragged back in.
I somehow get breath back in my lungs.
And the past comes back to life.

Today was one of those days.
A photograph was found,
A feeling was ignored,
A day of hurt pursued.

When it hurts it hurts.
When the past is found
When the past is relived.
**** me and the edge that I get to.

I see over the cliff.
I see over the precipice.
I take the leap over and over again, but I keep ending up right where I started.
The past won't ******* die.

When it hurts it hurts,
And guess what?
Right now, in this moment,
It ******* hurts.

Sorry, mom and dad
Sorry, sensitive folks.
Sorry, for writing this down and putting it out in the world.
But right now I don't care.

I'll tag it explicit.
I'll tag it adults only.
But guess what?
Life is explicit even if you don't swear.

Because when it hurts it hurts.
When the truth is laid out before you, don't run from it.
Embrace the truth, the pain, the misery, the sadness.
Even if you try to ignore it, you can't.
Because when it HURTS it HURTS.

I want her back
I don't want to move on.

I don't want her back.
I want to move on.

I'll probably be better tomorrow.
But who knows?
I sure as Hell don't.
What I do know...

What I do know...

Sorry for the repeat I was really trying to find something to say there.

Oh I remember...

When it hurts it hurts.
Let me be,
Let me feel,
Let me not be home,
Let me be far away.

God, when it hurts it hurts and you understand.
God, when those photographs find their way to my eyes let me hurt.
It's not wrong to feel the way you feel.
I'm allowed to be sad.
Even if every fiber of my being is ashamed I haven't moved on.

When it hurts it hurts.
Let it be.
Leave me be.
Leave it where it is, so I can see.  


(Love hurts...Yeah3)
But its worth it....Yeah its worth it....
Yeah..Yeah..
(Love hurts...Yeah3)
But its perfect....Yeah its perfect
Yeah..Yeah..
(Love hurts...Yeah3)
But its worth it....Yeah its perfect
Yeah..Yeah..
(Love hurts...Yeah3)
But Love is perfect....Yeah Love is worth it.
Yeah..Yeah..


Love is pain..
Love is care..
Love is  scarce..
Love is wealth
Love is Jesus bloodshed..
Love hurts but its worth the fight..Yeah

Love is very hard to attain..It seems that love went MIA..or maybe I'm just going blind homie..I been searching tryna find it, where could it be..I don't know mane..but searching for it kinda made me weak..
Love is strength
Love is kind..
Love is the best high ever, Love is a feeling that we all need to acquire.
Without love there's no peace..
Without love there's no you..
Without love there's no me..
Love can't be bought but Love is richer than gold ,silver , & billions all combine together.
Love is what so many people need..
Love is unconditional..
Love is indescribable..
Love is why the sun come up..Love is why the sun goes down..
Love is why the moon shines so bright..
Love is why the stars are so beautiful at night..
Love saves a broken heart and pampers it..not tampers with it..
Aye..(love3)..when I find you you are forever mines..real talk..for show..
Love is worth more than this world is worth dawg
I'm just letting ya know,Love is what got us all here in the first place, Thank you so much Jesus, Thank You So much Heavenly Father..Aye..Yeah

(Love hurts...Yeah3)
But its worth it....Yeah its worth it....
Yeah..Yeah..
(Love hurts...Yeah3)
But its perfect....Yeah its perfect
Yeah..Yeah..
(Love hurts...Yeah3)
But its worth it....Yeah its perfect
Yeah..Yeah..
(Love hurts...Yeah3)
But Love is perfect....Yeah Love is worth it.
Yeah..Yeah..

Love can pull you down & tear you apart from the bottom to the top, but its all worth it, dawg   its so **** perfect my *****.. its all worth it Yeah..Uhh
Its worth more than being famous, its worth more than being rich , Yeah its worth more than the most luxurious crib, its worth more than the most luxurious whip..Love is  worth more than the most luxurious jewelry.. Love is so precious , so if you get it then take care of it homie..Aye,..Love is everything to me.. Love washed all our sins, & Love took away all are  pain..Thank You so much Jesus again for your heroic deed..Aye

Why is it so hard tryna find love, Aye, its harder than taking a calculus quiz dawg, & I been trying my best tryna past it, please help me Lord please..please I need your guidance..Aye..you can't buy love, no matter how much money you think you spending on it ..its only gained by trust dawg, Aye..
Where ya at love, where you been , I really want ya, I need ya bad..(love4)....Yeah
Yeah love hurts so ******* much but Imma fein for it, no demon, I'm so addicted to the feeling bru, its like smoking on some good kush, its my medicine, I need love to help me unwind & relax Yeah.. So when I find love, Imma make love mines forever & ever dawg, ain't no running away from me Yeah..



(Love hurts...Yeah3)
But its worth it....Yeah its worth it....
Yeah..Yeah..
(Love hurts...Yeah3)
But its perfect....Yeah its perfect
Yeah..Yeah..
(Love hurts...Yeah3)
But its worth it....Yeah its perfect
Yeah..Yeah..
(Love hurts...Yeah3)
But Love is perfect....Yeah Love is worth it.
Yeah..Yeah..

Where is Love at,..Yeah I been searching..
Aye, I need (love2).. & I want (love2).. So where you at (Love2)..Who you been with (love2)
Where the **** is love at,Where the **** has love been for so long man..
Yeah Yeah..Uhh
I want love..,Wheres it at,  I can't find it..I need love ****..Where has it been at man, I been searching steady tryna guide it, but I can't find it so I'm still trying,.. Aye
I..I want love,..I..I need love where is love at..(Where the **** it been..
I can't find it..Wheres it at3)
Love hurts yeah..but its perfect,
(Yeah its worth it2)..(Aye,I want love, I need love, where is love at,..2)..Aye
Where the **** has it been, please stop hiding from me love, I really need you, I'm so sad..Uhh..(Wheres it at..Where is love at4)..Aye..because its worth it, yeah its so perfect..Uhh...Yeah I need love, I want love but..(I can't find it,no2)..(Where is Love at *4)..(where the **** its at aye4)..its so perfect , its worth it, (love6)..(Yeah, love hurts but its worth it..2)..Yeah love hurts but its perfect yeah its so worth it..(Yeah love hurts3)..but its worth it, man its so perfect,.. (Love7..Where the **** it been..
I can't find it..Wheres it at3)
(Where the **** is it at..noo..I can't find it man3)..(Where the **** is love at..3)..*****

I want it in my hands yeah I want love so bad man, I been seeking love for years & years  chasing after it,..I been looking everywhere I'm going mad,..Uhh..Yeah
But its worth every mile of this journey that I have been hiking for sure I'm gonna find it, ..man its just so **** perfect Yeah man, its just so **** worth it, Love hurts yeah but its so **** perfect, Yeah its so **** worth it, Yeah..
I need (love2), I want (love2) so much..Yeah
I want (love2) , I need (love2) so my ***** I'm searching..
I need love, I want love my ***** Imma find it
(Yeah ***** Imma find it2)..(Love7)
Where the **** is it at...I need love Yeah I been searching & Imma find it..
Aye..
(Love4)

It hurts when you touch me like that. No, it doesn’t ache or burn or offend or leave me in a physical state of harm. It just hurts when you touch me like that.
Yeah, like that.
It doesn’t hurt when you remove your shirt and I my skirt.
It just hurts in that place where people feel that kind of euphoria. It doesn’t hurt on the outside. So for now I’m waiting for you to be done so the pain will subside.
When you touch me like that I can smell you, your sweat stings my nostrils. It drips from your naked chest onto mine.
When you sweat on me like that I want to shower. I want to throw myself flat onto those ice-cold bodies of water. You know, the ones that sting like needles and continue to ring from the inside out. The ones that pierce you all over. That kind of water.
When you touch me like that, yeah like that.
‘That no particular scandal once can touch.’
With your hands like that. When you touch my skin, my arms, my waist with your fingers.
I can see your eyes. I can feel you looking at me.
‘With eyes wide open; standing, speaking moving,’
It hurts. It hurts when you look at me like that. It hurts when I smell you. It hurts when you touch me like that. And when it hurts, when it hurts and you’re touching me and you smell from that grossly pungent sweat that drips onto me and you’re looking at my stomach and my neck and into my eyes, it hurts.
And when it hurts, I’m not here.
And when you’re thinking that our bodies and souls have made that divine, timeless, beautiful, passionate connection,
I’m not here.
And when you’re thinking those things that I can hear you thinking, it hurts.
That’s when it hurts.
And when it hurts (when you look and touch and smell and think the way you do) I’m with him and not you.
When I’m with him, it doesn’t hurt.
His hands are soft and his scent dances around me.
His scent draws me in so that I can look and touch and think those things.
When I’m with him it doesn’t hurt.
With you it hurts.
That’s when it hurts.

It Hurts

it hurts , it hurts
when your gaze scan to search for her sight
not mine
it hurts

it hurts, it hurts
when all the melody that you sang
was for her,
it hurts

it hurts, it hurts
when the night came and those sleepless night haunt you,
in your thoughts was her,
her ear to ear smile
her full lips
her soft yet shiny black hair
her angelic voice that soothes you through the days,
it hurts

it hurts, it hurts
when you spend hours and hours with her, and yet
you never feel that it was enough,
all you wanted to do was to be with her,
by her side,
everyday
it hurts

it hurts, it hurts
when your heart skips a beat every time she looks at you,
even when she did it absent-mindedly

It hurts,it hurts
When i know you would never know this kind of
subtle torture,
A silent scream,
An invisible pain,
You will never know,
And it hurts.