Hopeless without a goal
Reckless without a soul
Bound to self destruct
With everything going around
My heart is left with a hole.

Whenever I come undone
Just hold my hand
And say my name.
I may come to you in pieces
But you make me whole.

Lavender lotion
Mom told me that would make it better
Just breathe once or twice
And put on that one old fleece lined sweater
Pray to god and heaven and angel
Put my thoughts down in a letter
Lavender lotion, lavender lotion
Was nothing but a happiness debtor

To sink in battle and not by a flash was what I yearned for if I ever were to fall, truly it devoured everything in its gruesome way,
And so, it gobbled up the wishful dream of a prideful defeat,
In the end, I truly wasn't able to protect those I fought for all these years, all these countless battles and tragedies, are a fading memory,
These shameful last moments; handed to the enemy and sat on their testing bench, with my last hope being, the wish that the world may has understood something more important than the agony of war.
Even if the damage could be repaired and parts exchanged, brought anew and even if we make it back in one piece without capsizing:
The damage is painted in my steel, and forever will be a reminder of this fateful day, a sky without any sunlight; perfect darkness,
Perhaps this is the punishment for one who survived without protecting her friends, her partners in crime and her loved ones,
At least, the recorded history will ensure not being forgotten,
Here in my wet prison, these thoughts will never fade.
The ocean floor is a harsh, unforgiving grave..

~ Umi

Tightly twisted inside out
Other offers are outside the house
Holding head in hands
heart beats fast
folding faintly forwards
forgive me
I can’t grasp
going groaning
to the tables telling them
all about angry antics
stuck saying and swaying
talking temptations tightly twisting
inside my head
heart hearing Holy Spirit
Soul searching and I can bare it
heaven opens here
finally
feeling free at last .

It's in obscure recollection
I wonder if it's falsified
Hesitant about the path I can't abandon now
Finding new ways to survive

Bathed in the rays of the sun
Fraught with uncertainty
I wasn't prepared for the atmosphere
Losing my chance to speak

I never had a key
It fell in place
Though I still sleep
I hold to grace
Hoping to recover what's around me

I guess It's still on me
I don't feel the same
Lost in this sleep
I hold to grace
With the colors all around me

But your words
They always bleed through

I'm aware
You think the ways I do

And your words
They always ring true

And your words
They'll always bleed through

what is it
just another sound
i begin to knit
for another round

come to think about it
it never quit
i’m feeling it
from the bottom of a pit

one sight in years
unbearable tears
liberty sounds lovely
but it is heavenly

they say this is worth
anything else is dirt
i take it for granted
letting myself pricked

does it get better
it does taste bitter
does it ever end
i can only pretend

cause this is the sewer
where people suffer
idling the reality
and nurtures it within

frankly
i’m aching for light
but alas
the thread lasts

and there’s nothing i can do about it

Have you ever left in a situation
where you want to write a poem
and you have exact words and emotions to write about;
but then looking down at your own words your eyes start hurting so bad that now you don't want to write it any more?