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Elliott Jun 2017
"It was just a joke, stop being so serious."

I haven't been to church since I was 14.

At age 7,
I was introduced to my new baptist church.
I recited scriptures and played game and was always excited to go.

At age 12,
I was heading into middle school and won the church's bible challenge.
I was queer, I was Christian, I was unexcited to go to church.
It felt like everyone was staring.

When I was 13,
I had my first kiss with a girl,
my first major girl crush,
my first run in with homophobia.
My classmate said **** off with someone else,
my church said mothers should protect their children from homosexuality.
I wondered what was wrong with that.
When I was 13,
I watched my mother clap to the pastor not knowing she had one.
I watched the youth church pastor make fun of queer kids, not knowing he had some in the room.
I watched a girl I knew was gay clap along like she wasn't one of them
-one of us.
When I was 13,
I watched my first crush date my best friend,
she didn't want anyone to know she was gay.
When I was 13,
I came out to my family.

When I was 14,
I went to church for one last time,
A woman prayed the devil take this phase out of me, and put the holy spirit in.
I broke down in Walmart afterwards.

My mother said I never had to go back to that church again.
I still have some dreams about it.

When I was 15,
I declared no religion, I declared no ties to anyone.
I was just black & queer.
Churches make me nervous
vic May 2017
I stand before you
A target for the bullets you spit
I didn't realize we had to read these claims out loud
Now I'm hearing you tell me I made a choice about who I am
You tell me I chose this path.
Your words are acid seeping into my skin slowly deteriorating the pride I used to hold
It's hard to be prideful when you're caught up in the accusations and drowning in disrespect
Please tell me more about how you are an expert in being gay
It's not like I'm a lesbian or anything
I obviously know nothing about the topic since I told you
People obviously choose to be gay and my experience as a gay person doesn't matter
It's not a choice though
It's a curse blessed upon you when you are born
A trait you find incredibly hard to love, I didn't choose the self-hatred and suicidal thoughts that came with this
I didn't choose the ****** harassment and public embarrassment
I didn't choose any of this
Being gay isn't like when you're at the amusement park and you decide to ride the rainbow roller coaster because it looks pretty
It's not a fun ride, it's a deadly one full of insults and discrimination that's hard to get back up from
It's being a target for people like you
You don't even realize how horrible and toxic the words you spit are to LGBT+ people like me
We swallow our words because we know you won't listen
Just like how so many lgbt+ youth swallowed a plethora of pills and didn't wake up
Wake up.
63% of these teens have attempted suicide in the past year
Do not tell me we choose this.
And if you think that it's fun to be gay you literally know nothing about our issues
Don't tell you're an ally then tell me you think you choose your sexuality
I didn't choose the life I was given
But you chose your words carefully in a way you thought would pierce me so you could win an argument
Not with actual fact but by just picking at your opponent till she feels like nothing
You probably never thought about it again that day
Yet here I sit, 24 hours later dreading the hour I have to spend in this classroom studying for my finals with homophobia
Wondering if running out could be the right answer.
I don't like running back to the closet but your words are shoving me into my hangers
I hear your voice whenever another guy puts his hand on my thigh and tells me about his lesbian fantasies
I hear your voice telling me I chose this
Hearing millions of voices telling me that I shouldn't complain because this was my decision
Not even asking me what I was wearing because being lesbian makes me enough of a **** already
I don't like your toxic spit because I know it'll spray on to the other gay kids around me that are vulnerable and insecure about their sexuality
I know your words will deteriorate their pride just like they have done to mine
You don't think you're homophobic because you don't shout the word “******” at gay people
But there's a lot more to homophobia than that
Like completely diminishing the past of LGBT+ individuals and belittling us down to choices
Believe me, if I had a choice I would have chosen to be straight because then I wouldn't have to sit in front of you while you disrespected my sexuality
I could be another blind ally that doesn't speak up when this **** is happening
I'm trying so hard to make things better for the kids like me
But you insist on ripping us open.
We bleed rainbows and a sense of pride you will never know
You don't have to find pride in your sexuality because no one hates straight people for being straight
No, we hate straight people like you who insist on being ignorant
This worst thing is is that you take pride in your arrogance
Holding your American flags high as you belittle my equality
You didn't have to fight for anything, you're a straight white guy who takes pride in his privilege
One that only insists on spitting toxins
I wish I could say I am stronger than your poisons but it's hard to find strength when so few people hold you up
If you really think I chose this path, then you should be worried about my mental state
Only people who hate themselves would choose this kind of pain
Now if you'll excuse me, I have to find my pride again.
George Anthony May 2017
whether it be your
local shop
or the park across the road,
a nightclub
or a library, or
the school where
your children go

we're here

the bathroom,
the classroom,
the living room and kitchen,
marching downtown
with a rainbow parade
or hidden
in the closet

we're here

we've been here
forever
did you know that
ancient Greece
was a homonormative society?
we've been alive,
just trying to live our lives

we're here

no less human,
no less susceptible
to hurt or pain
or love;
we love in bright, bright colours
and we love freely
never bound by binaries or convention

we're here

you'll never be rid of us
as we are not
a disease
to be cured.
all we want to do
is be as free to love
as you.

we're here

we aren't going anywhere
Gay, lesbian, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, demisexual, trans, non-binary, intersex - whatever it is, they're all just words at the end of the day. We're entitled to our feelings. At the core, we are all human. And we all love. And we just want to love freely.
George Anthony May 2017
hands as big as my face
and a scream that was
louder than my cries

daddy's got a bottle of red,
it's okay
he just enjoys the finer things in life

daddy i don't know your new girlfriend
please hold my hand
daddy please

daddy, i think i like your girlfriend
more than i like you
she cleaned me up when i was sick

you yelled at me for
getting ***** on the carpet;
but i'm certain red stains are harder to clean

i wonder if i was good at cross country,
if i got so fast
because of the way my tiny legs carried me up the stairs

away from you
that afternoon with a magazine cutout in your bag
number to a *** line

never dialled, you said, not mine, you said
daddy please don't chase me,
i just did what your girlfriend said

my step-brother taught me to box today
i punched the bag really hard.
punching you in the stomach felt better.

you're passed out on the sofa and
i can't wake you up.
your girlfriend sends you to bed and

we stay up.
there's horror movies on the TV;
she's asleep with the controls and

i can't get away
from the blood on the screen
and the little robot boy's tears as the cars crash into him.

i saw women's *******
in bed with Dracula.
i saw you perving

on the lesbians in the flats,
and then i fidgeted anxiously
when you told me you'd bury me under the slabs

if i turned out gay.
i didn't know what that meant back then but
father, i'm so gay now

you bruised my shoulders when i disowned you.
said "goodbye" with enough volume
it sounded more like a "*******"

you didn't care.
did you ever care?
i used to try and curl up to your side

i stopped doing that after a while.
i was young but i was smart,
knew to walk away when you got that slur on your lips

i was young but i was smart:
you don't take your eyes
off a predator

i was young but i was smart,
handled the ***** you gave to me and
crushed that cat's skull

and had nightmares about it
for weeks and weeks;
but i had to put it out of its misery

daddy, why do you hate cats?
daddy, please don't shoot it
DADDY, NO!

daddy, i can't breathe
stop smoking around me please.
mummy doesn't like the smell of it on my clothes.

stop smoking crack with the neighbours,
your girlfriend's talking **** about you
with his wife

pocket money doesn't replace affection
i'm talking **** about you
with your girlfriend.

i found out that you never treated my siblings
the way you treated me.
what the **** is so wrong with me?

twelve years old, finally in high school
mum said i can stop seeing you
dad, i don't wanna see you anymore

twice a year, always in December
just those two visits gave me enough things to remember
why i stopped the weekend trips

your money doesn't cure my ptsd
nor does it stop the nightmares.
i took it anyway

call it compensation.
measly amount as it was.
i'll never see you again now i'm eighteen

but trust me when i say
i'd rather be broke
than have broken spirits and broken bones
Brent Kincaid Mar 2017
Pretty girl,
Started out a fellow
All alone there
Hiding in her cellar
Went to the church
The priest said to confess
The scummy man
Then asked her if she dressed.

He said to her
It it was her holy duty
Then he called her ****
And grabbed her by the *****.
Pretty girl
****** now and confused.
It never occurred
That she had been abused.

But she had
A friend living next door.
That was me
And I knew she was not a *****.
Just a kid
Who in those times
Was reviled
Her gifts from God called a crime.

I took her out
Rollerskating and to dances,
As a girl.
I believed in second chances.
She left school
And started life as a fashion model.
No longer did she
Hide her soul inside a bottle.

A lovely tale
One that could have been so sad;
She stood up
From then on life was not so bad.
Pretty girl
Started her life out as a guy
But much of her
Was too wonderful to deny.
Dameon Smith Dec 2015
Land of the Free
Yet ranks 20th in the world
Land of the Free
Unless you aren't
White, rich, and male
Unless you aren't
Christian or Atheist.
Slam the borders!
Americans insist
Keep them out!
Let no one in!
Land of the Free
We sing
And chant
Land of the Free
Proud are we
Land of the Free
But not.
requiEM Mar 2017
I was taught to love you from birth
You raised me and taught me, watched me grow
As I'm older, you've changed
Rearranged the priorities I thought you had
I've had a hunger for knowledge for years
I thought you did too

Yet you yell about 'them'
'They're ruining america'
'I don't want them near me'
How did you raise me, how did I not know all this time?

How did you hold me in as an infant, with your arms balled up in fists?
How did you kiss me with poison on your lips?

I am from you, you are in me
Take my blood and let it reach your veins
I am immune to whatever plagues these childhood heroes
Maybe they got lost along the way
I've tried to help, but the poison takes over
Clouds their thoughts, they yell

I've looked up to them for twenty years
twenty ways they've wronged me
twenty ways they've hurt me
and twenty years still, I will love them
Because I will not kiss my children with poisoned lips
The poison stops with me
G Valentine Mar 2017
It's funny I seem to think,
How small your mind is,
I think it still shrinks.

It's tiny.....little and small.
I think we all get it,
It's anything but tall.

You have no perception,
You're riddled with fear.

You question all the others,
Just why are you here?

Is there something your missing?
A lie you've yet told?

Are you ashamed too?
Of the secrets you hold?

You see,I stand in the sun.
With my arms open wide

I'm proud of who I am,
Yet you cower inside.

Away in the shadows,
Screaming out lies.

No I am not a coward,
I love who I desire,

Maybe one day you'll learn how
To extinguish your fire.
It's taken me a long time to finally believe, I am who I am. This is for anyone who has ever hated for the wrong reasons. Love is love.
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