We have both been trying hard
Results aren't what we'd hoped
Past creeping in to haunt us
Use substances to help cope

Believe we could get so much more
So close to the life we planned
Few inches from the finish line
Cannot escape the drug's command

Your detachment is what hurts
I treat you the same in return
So removed from love we share
Trust a reward that will never be earned

Something changed between us
Don't have the same look in your eye
Need as much as I did back then
You aren't even required to try

Invest equal portions of yourself
You mean each word you say
Promise is simple to start
Not easy to finish all the way

New problems arise out of thin air
Relationship steadily falling apart
Will you be able to understand?
Truly know the ins and outs of my heart?

Be the man aspired to be
Person who's honest and kind
Just around the corner
So challenging to find

We battle vices
Demons on our backs
Inside our heads
They stop us in our tracks

I know addiction is taking its toll
My body
Soul
And brain
Successfully worse than you and we both know it
Fact you don't have to explain

Most our fights are started by
Own stupid insecurity
Love me when I'm wrong
Can't seem to compromise or agree

Leave in pieces like you always do
Eventually you'll come around
But your presence lately feels more like a ghost
To your side I remain bound

I will be the first to take the step
Forward in the right direction
At night the fear races around my skull
Are lives past the point of correction?

A brick falls
A feather falls

Which hits the ground first?
The brick smashes into pebbles
While the feather hovers down,
Oh so gentlly
Is it the same case with people?
The weight of the world makes us
Like the brick
Guilt, fear, anger
In our hearts as we sink

A feather falls
It makes no sound, no crashing noise
Yet it reaches its destination
With great poise
Twisting and turning
And correcting itself

Watch the brick fall
No twists and turns, no direction
Straightforward, with no correction
It comes with a roaring thud
Known only by the noise it makes
Ignorant of its own mistakes
Pulled down by the haul
Of its own weight


Be like the feather
Be weightless!
It does not mean
You are late touching ground
You just take your tender time
Getting there

Be like the feather
Be complicated!
Without twists and turns
There can be no correction
Recognize mistakes
And learn from them

Be like the feather
Be flexible!
Do not fall so hard
To one destination
You never know where
The winds will guide you

The brick falls
The feather falls

The brick lands
The feather is falling

The feather is falling
The feather is falling
The feather is falling
The feather is falling

The feather is falling
The feather is falling

The feather is falling
The feather is falling

The feather lands

I made a friend
Or rather I was made a friend
For indeed it was not my will
But it was his
And should I resist the call
From the one who made us all?

Nah my listener
That would be utterly wrong
Besides there is no way I could resist if i tried
For I was dead before
But when he made me heir
He gave me life
Again not of my will
But it was of his

Now a son by price
I shall do my best to know my father
Who bought me and brought me to life
This is rather hard for me to do I confess
For I am used to the ways of the flesh
And it would be impossible to know God
For his ways and thoughts are ever above mine
But praise to the Spirit
I will learn of the Father and his will for me
For that was his will not mine

I dare not say I would not face troubles
For the place he created
Has wholly revolted
And it is the place I now live
But I am just passing through
On my way home
seeking to share the story
Of how he bought me
And how it was all his will
And none of my own

And as I sail this ocean vast
On him, shall all my troubles shall I cast
For it is through storms that one draws nearer
To the things that cast out fear
And it is through fires that my soul is tried
But it is all to purify his bride
All for his glory
For indeed it is all his story
Not one line is my own
For it was his will and not my own

Oh sing praises for evermore
For he saved the chief of sinners
And has made me a son
Now I shall do my best to live like one
Oh praise to his grace when I fall
For flesh is what makes us
And it is corrupt as I once was
But now I have new robe
And with the Lord’s help
I will keep it clean
Though through this muddy world does my path lay
And I shall never hesitate to obey
For it is not my will I say
It is all his will that I obey

Praise forever be
To the one who set me free
To the one who made me heir
To the one who made me friend
To his will I say amen

misunderstanding direction is a global misconception
why is this such a mortal peculiarity
who put it in the catalog of life
did we all have the same library card

Brian Hill - 2020 # 73

Examine yourself
Which direction should you go
You do have choices

Brian Hill - 2020 # 37