What is happiness?
Oh,
It is merely the name of an old friend...

But,

What is sadness?
Sadness is more than a friend;
It is tangled with me like a lover in sheets.
It drowns out all laughter.
It drains all energy.
It shatters hope.
It devours joy.
It is not a what,
But a who.

With her three eyes and many arms Kali Ma leaned in to tell me the secret of this year.
She told me with regret and hate filling my life- I wouldn't be getting anywhere.
She said with trust and loyalty- one day I'll find my back again.
To a live that's full of love and hope instead of sadness and sin.

The Dark Mother- the Goddess of destruction and creation told me she, herself, was the bearer of contradictions.
She said we all fall apart and there are ways to get back up if we just open our eyes.
Instead of filling our self with doubt and questioning the truth instead of the lies.

So within the Ocean  of Blood I have been created by Kali Ma- and I will sooner than later be destroyed by her power.
But before the year is up she has given me the truth to rise up and fight her.
I will change for myself and I become one with the truth's that lie within me.
I will remember the good instead of the bad so it doesn't destroy all of me.

I will wear red as gypsies must do when their funeral is near.
I will let Kali Ma devour me and send me home without fear.
I will wear pride knowing I have found the truth and let the lies go.
I will be at peace when I have figured out everything I needed to know.

We love having pets because they are helpless enough to know us as masters,
But we are frightened because we know they can slip away and become their own masters,
Oh the treachery of power,
The deceit of glory,
For I know,
And even you know,
Deep down,
That to contain the energy of a small animal makes you no master,
It grants no power,
The real power lies in the ability to release something that can destroy you,
And to conquer the thing that has the capacity to devour you.

Darling can't you see?
I'm the one
Who can cause the pain
To be numb.
I'm the one
Who can devour your soul
And take you captive in my kiss.
Even if it's a just a second
Darling I can be your drug.
Let me take you somewhere.

Her name is yoni

            

              The divine who devours.
                   Deep inside of her
                       Lies serenity.
              A gift from the heavens
                   She embraces the
                Power of the universe.
                Through her majestic,
                          Earthiness.
                 ­    A sweet delicacy
                            She is.
                      A tender love
                        she gives.

I was born out of light
Born to devour
The darkness
The hatred
With the powers within me
With each dark soul I devoured
My heart became impure
And over time
My pure soul
Shattered
By the same darkness I destroyed
And I became
The darkness
I was born to devour

There is a love I wish I'd never known;
Its bitter taste still burning on my tongue
Like steaming coffee sipped in haste.
I held my air tight to my chest, but you
Ripped it from my lungs with no warning,
Replacing it with your breath, old cigarettes,
And fumes from gasoline-soaked memories.

****, I was eighteen and had nothing left,
But you lit me on fire. You took more of me
Than I had to give, then left me alone
To create someone new out of my ashes.
Little did you know, I'd fill my cracks with gold,
Forge a new heart, then let the old one melt.
Babe, if love feeds on pain, devour someone else.